Stick Figures
by Kakawot
Summary: Dumbledore needs new guards for Hogwarts after the Dementors failed. Konoha sends its best and only available shinobi: Naruto and Sasuke. Read as they experience culture shock, magical shocks and some electrical shocks too. No pairings.
1. Obligatory Introduction

**A/N: **Welcome to my epic project. Written in eight months, I hope this fic brings some original ideas into the dead-beaten 'Naruto goes to Hogwarts' plot. If not, I hope you at least enjoy it on some other level.

About the fic: there are no pairings, and the story focuses on Naruto and Sasuke as they guard Hogwarts and meet the weird and wonderful of the wizard world. The story consists of loosely connected scenes with some hints strewn here and there which all come together in the final chapters.

It's finished, so I'll post this fic in two chapters a week, one on Monday, one on Friday (+1 GMT, so it might not be those days for you). I've got 120.000 words spread out over 22 chapters, so look forward to plenty of reading.

A final note: I'm ESL. I've proofread this to the best of my abilities, but in a fic this large some things might've snuck past me. Please tell me if you come across anything weird. Thanks.

Enjoy!

* * *

Of course they knew there was a world out there, but the five great shinobi countries (and the lesser shinobi countries) just didn't care about the rest of the world, as long as they didn't start a nuclear war which screwed up their climate. They kept to themselves and guarded their borders vigorously, keeping all intruders out. Even satellites couldn't get a clear image thanks to the unique conditions under which chakra thrived.

There was some interaction between the shinobi countries and the rest of the world, thanks to which they had gained electricity, plastic and other 'modern' inventions. But cars and other transports powered by combustion engines somehow never made it big in those countries. Mainly because you needed just one skilled earth-style-jutsu user to completely demolish highways or railroad tracks, making it a waste of time and money to keep on repairing them.

However, Fire Country had an airport. It was a private-run business and it only handled about two flights a week, but it existed nonetheless. And it was a good thing, Sasuke mused. Taking a ship all the way to a country called 'England' would take too long.

But he couldn't help but stare in awe at the monstrosity standing on tarmac with all kinds of lines drawn on the ground. That thing could fly?

"We gonna check in?," came a voice to Sasuke's left. Sasuke glanced at his teammate.

"As soon as you stop staring at the plane."

All he got was a disdaining "hmph" as they walked into the tiny terminal.

There were no security checks to speak off, because everyone running around in the terminal could kill a man with their bare hands and the metal detectors would go off all the time because of the many, many hidden weapons a typical shinobi carried around. The only test which was conducted sporadically was a random search for drugs and smuggleware. But lucky for the two shinobi, their backpacks went unchecked.

As such, all Naruto and Sasuke had to do was find the only check-in booth, check their luggage and get their travel documents stamped. Then the waiting began.

Naruto went off to gawk at the plane some more and Sasuke sat down on one of the benches but kept his senses on full alert. Even in a Fire Country airport there could still be a threat.

After an hour had passed a voice crackled over the intercom. "Flight 2a will be departing shortly. Stops will include: Suna, Tokyo, New Delhi, Dubai, Rome, Amsterdam and London before traveling on to the USA. Calling all travelers to flight 2a."

Sasuke was already on his feet by the time the announcement repeated itself and looked outside to search for his orange-clad teammate. A slight drizzle dripped down the windows, cooling the hot August air.

"Oi, Sasuke, they're calling out our flight," yelled Naruto across the terminal. Sasuke twitched. The 15-year-old had made chuunin somehow, but he could sometimes still be as obnoxious as when he was twelve.

"I heard," he replied and threw Naruto's satchel at him. It was going to be a long flight, so Sasuke had stuffed his satchel with various scrolls to keep him busy. He prayed Naruto had done the same, else he'd Chidori him out the plane before they'd even reached Tokyo and give his teammate an impromptu skydiving lesson.

"Well what are you waiting for? Let's go!" said Naruto and dashed off, satchel clutched in one hand. They had to walk (or in Naruto's case: run) across the tarmac to hop into the plane. Sasuke had zero experience with planes, so he only knew that this was a relatively small one, compared to some he had seen in movies or pictures. It was blue on top with a white underside, sporting kanji on the fin informing him that the plane belonged to Kaelem Cityhopper. He paused for a second on the top of the ladder leading into the plane to appraise the engines. They looked powerful, but in his mind he readied some jutsu in case of engine failure, and he went inside. Naruto had already claimed the window seat and was busy being as hyperactive as … himself, really. Sasuke kept an eye on the other travelers.

There were three shinobi, all from Konoha. All three of them were Chuunin, but Sasuke couldn't put their faces to a name. One of the three sported a scroll which he read rather intensely.

Other travelers were businessmen or women, clutching black suitcases and as soon as they sat down they flipped open their tiny computers and began typing away. There were some kids, a few tourists, and some casually dressed people Sasuke couldn't pin down right away. Though if their behavior was any kind of indication, they were shinobi in disguise.

The flight attendant began a quick briefing on safety procedures and Sasuke had to elbow his teammate to call his attention to it. No way that he was going to pull the floatation device over Naruto's head if the plane crashed. Shortly after that the captain of the plane introduced herself and started up the engines, which gave such an unexpected roar that Sasuke clutched a kunai before he even realized he had grabbed one.

The tourists in the seats across the aisle gawked at this casual display of constant vigilance and Sasuke wanted to throw Naruto out of the plane because of his incessant laughing fit at his expense.

Thankfully the tug at his navel shut Naruto up as the plane began to accelerate. Sasuke couldn't help but stare out of the window as well, amazed that this thing would fly them all the way to England. Sure, he knew about lift and thrust, but experiencing it was something else.

The roar of the engines grew as the tarmac and its white lines flashed past, and finally the plane gained enough momentum to take to the sky. The ground dropped rapidly and soon Sasuke could see the green forests of Fire Country spread below.

They kept on climbing, higher and higher until he swore he saw all five great shinobi countries, ranging from the desert to the mist country. Pretty soon after that the world disappeared in a blue haze in the distance and white clouds as they climbed above the clouds themselves, bathing the small plane in perpetual sunlight.

Briefly he entertained himself with the thought of what kind of havoc one plane could wreck on other countries. If they'd stay up where no jutsu could hit them, the Fire Country would reign supreme. Sasuke snapped out of his daydream when the flight attendant pushed a cart past him which accidentally clipped his elbow. Naruto was still busy looking out the window, his features relaxed.

"Sir, would you like something to drink?" the flight attendant asked in a slightly-accented voice.

"Lemonade."

He elbowed his teammate, who responded by elbowing him back without even looking away from the window. Sasuke sighed and resisted the urge to punch him.

"Oi, dumbass, you want something?"

This got Naruto's attention and after grinning at the flight attendant he requested a soda. After receiving their drinks the flight attendant turned towards the tourists and asked them the same question.

Sasuke smirked when the flight attendant's back was turned. Kakashi-sensei had warned them that in the 'outside-world' they'd be regarded as children. It appeared that this flight attendant had dealt with shinobi before, because he had been just as respectful towards them as he was towards the (adult) tourists. Well, if you could call Naruto an 'adult', Sasuke thought as his teammate glued his face onto the window, making all kinds of 'ooh'-noises.

The flight attendant moved on to the next seats, leaving Sasuke looking unexpectedly in the eyes of the tourists across the aisle. He didn't know exactly how he knew they were tourists. They might as well be just civilians, but they wore clothes he didn't associate with Fire Country inhabitants, and their faces were … wrong. Unfamiliar. That, and they spoke English, a language they had to learn the hard way for this mission. Pretty much a dead give-away.

Sasuke sipped his lemonade as he thought about the mission, but before he could get very far a voice to his right interrupted him.

"Excuse me, young man?" said the male tourist in Sasuke's native tongue, though with a much heavier accent than the flight attendant. Sasuke threw him a look but didn't reply. He didn't fancy foreign civilians striking up a conversation with him. But the tourist pressed on.

"You hail from secret town, right?"

Sasuke raised one eyebrow at the man's weird-worded sentence but pieced together what the man meant to say. That still didn't mean that he was going to reply. Sadly, Naruto had heard the man's question as well and since his teammate was an idiot, the blond answered the question with much enthusiasm.

"Yeah, we're from Fire Country!"

He gestured towards his headband and grinned. This seemed to put the man (and the woman next to him) more at ease and he continued the stunted conversation.

"I am pleased to meet you. I and Lily, my wife, went on a break- a vacation in your country. Logically we not visit secret town, but I compliment you to your country. The people are amazing and the forests are amazing."

Finally the woman gathered enough courage to pipe in as well, much to Sasuke's displeasure. He foresaw much questions from the tourists, most of which he likely wouldn't be able to answer without killing them afterwards.

"And the food too is amazing. Are you from Konoha, maybe?"

Sasuke stiffened, but then relaxed. Anybody traveling in Fire Country would hear of Konoha sooner or later, and since Naruto had just confirmed they were shinobi, the woman had made a logical deduction that they were from Konoha.

Apparently Naruto had reached the same conclusion and nodded, at which the woman squealed with pleasure. She babbled something to her husband in rapid English at an impossible speed. Sasuke suddenly feared for his language skills, even though he had mastered basic conversational skills in English. He hoped that not everybody would talk this fast or he'd have to spend more hours studying texts.

"Hey," Naruto said and poked him in his side, which earned him a swift punch on the thigh, "wanna switch places? Since you're in a stick-up-the-ass mood and these people seem nice."

Sasuke shrugged and got out of his seat. Might as well rob his teammate of the window seat so he could stare outside for a while. You know, to meditate and think about the upcoming mission. Or maybe look at the sprawling ocean below. For a little bit.

Naruto enthusiastically launched himself from his seat, totally forgetting his soda on the fold-out tray. With shinobi reflexes he grabbed the can and saved himself and his seat from a sticky fate. With much shuffling Sasuke squeezed himself past his teammate in the narrow aisle and sat down again, grabbing his left-over lemonade in one smooth motion.

"Hi," chirped Naruto in his best innocent voice at the tourists. "I'm Daiki and that's Hisoka. What's your name, mister?"

Sasuke had to suppress a smirk at the fake names given to them. 'The great one' and 'the secretive one'. Tsunade had a hand in that, no doubt.

Naruto kept on chatting with the tourists, all wide-eyed and positively gleaming. Trust Naruto to play the 'Genin going on first big mission'-part well. He didn't understand why his teammate wanted to chat with the tourists so badly, it wasn't as if they had any useful information. Hell, maybe they didn't even get off the plane at Heathrow.

Maybe Naruto just wanted some attention and had to get it from other sources than Sasuke. They'd be strangers in a foreign world all too soon, chucking them together like a bad sit-com.

"My name? I apologize, I forget saying my name. I'm James. I am pleased to meet you, Daiki, Hisoka.

* * *

The environment, Sasuke decided, was incredible. Sure, Konoha had a shopping district, with all kinds of shops crammed together so tight sometimes a shinobi took to the roofs to suppress any 'must-kill-I'm-surrounded-by-enemies' instincts.

But if that place inspired that sentiment already, no shinobi should come here. Every shopping window displayed flashing, moving stuff, ranging from live owls to broomsticks hovering in the air to exploding cauldrons. And the people, the masses of witches and wizards, all poking about and dragging children and heavy shopping bags and standing in the street talking to each other…

Sasuke forced himself to let go of his kunai and breathed deeply in and out. No random murderer here, please keep on looking. He barely suppressed the urge to stick a kunai in his teammate as he bumped against his elbow.

"Robes?" sputtered Naruto as he regarded his shopping list. Sasuke looked down at the neatly written list on unfamiliar paper (parchment, the employer called it) and scanned the items. Indeed, it said 'robes', along with 'Shop: Madam Hoochkins robes for the fashionable wizard and witches'. He scanned the small list of items and was secretly glad he understood what other supplies they had to buy. Even if a 'wand' sounded rather preposterous, at least he knew what it was.

"We have to get robes," sneered Sasuke, "so we won't stand out."

"Yeah, I know, but still… robes? And we'll stand out anyway, it's not like they're gonna think we're students or anything, not with our masks and vests."

"Just… do what the employer wants."

"There you are!" said Giant Fuzzball, as Naruto had dubbed him. "It's easy to get lost without a guide, y'know. Dumbledore entrusted me this task so don't go running off now." He said all this in his incomprehensible accent, and he sounded accusing.

Naruto smiled at Giant Fuzzball. "Sorry, we get joyed and we want to see."

Which actually wasn't that far from the truth. Naruto simply dragged Sasuke along and he didn't put up much of a struggle.

"Alright, come on then, what d'you guys need first?"

"Robes," Sasuke decided after a second glance at his list. Might as well blend in as soon as possible. They'd opted for inconspicuous clothes, something which any 'muggle' would wear. Hopefully.

"This way, lads."

Giant Fuzzball (Sasuke might have to listen in on a conversation later on, because for the life of him he couldn't remember the giant's name) led the way, cutting a path through the masses.

Pretty soon Sasuke stood on a stool with an old woman fussing over his body. Next to him Naruto experienced the same, though he got molested by a nervous-looking young fellow.

"School robes, you say?" the woman asked and nodded to herself. Before she sprinted off to gather the unedited robes Sasuke responded:

"No. I did not say anything yet. We need … normal robes. Usual robes. A robe to wear over other clothes."

"You mean a cloak?"

The word sounded unfamiliar to Sasuke, so he scowled. The employer hadn't been precise in his description, and the list wasn't clear either.

"Yes. And normal robes. Both."

Since the employer paid for it anyway, might as well err on the side of caution.

"For him too." Sasuke pointed at Naruto, who paid too much attention to the young man getting too close to his nether regions to decide whether they needed robes or a 'cloak'.

"I'll be paying for them," said Giant Fuzzball and shook a promising-sounding wallet, to which Madam Hoochkin herself happily began measuring up Sasuke. She frowned, however, when her hand met an unfamiliar pouch full of hard things.

"Young man, if you've got anything underneath your clothes, please remove it. Or else your robes won't fit," she said sternly and gestured towards Naruto. "Same goes for you."

The two shinobi exchanged glances and Naruto shrugged. 'Might as well do as she says, it's not like they're skilled enough to kill us', Sasuke read in that shrug. Still, he didn't remove the hidden senbon needles in his shoe. But he got rid of the kunai pouch strapped to his thigh, the hidden holster in the small of his back full of senbon needles, the pouches at his hips underneath his wide shirt containing some basis scrolls and shuriken and the kunai hidden in his sleeves. With every pouch he removed from his body the onlooker's eyes got bigger and when he and Naruto finally slid the kunai from their sleeves the woman was close to panicking.

Sasuke glanced at the pile of weapons and he saw why this might intimidate a civilian.

"Alright, that's it," he announced and got back up on the stool. The return to normalcy seemed the shake Madam Hoochkin from her near-panic attack and she still eyed the pile of weapons suspiciously, but for some reason she didn't ask questions. Maybe she'd dealt with shinobi before. She certainly looked old enough for that to be true.

"You're ninja, then?" she confirmed her suspicions and Sasuke saw no reason to deny. Especially with that much evidence on the floor.

"Shinobi, yes," he corrected and glared at Naruto to keep him quiet. He didn't want his teammate to announce their hidden village at every turn. Even though… Sasuke felt at his forehead and his hand met cold metal. Maybe they shouldn't wear their forehead protectors in public. He'd forgotten he wore it.

Convincing Naruto to give up his would be fun.

It took the woman and her helper some time to fit the robes to their preferences (that is: able to move freely in) but pretty soon they tucked their weapons back in their pouches and roamed the streets of Diagon Alley, though this time wearing the cloak to blend in. Sasuke snatched the headband from Naruto's forehead and after a soft but heated debate convinced his teammate to not wear it, at least for the time being.

Giant Fuzzball lorded them around, talking about this shop and that in his incomprehensible accent and Sasuke soon lost himself in the buzzing of the shops.

* * *

Most shops had extravagant windows, displaying all kinds of amazing gear. One however, stood out because of the empty shopping window, save for one thing: a stick on a faded purple pillow. Naruto was about to walk past it when Giant Fuzzball put a hand on his shoulder.

"Have you lads got wands, yet?"

Naruto looked at Sasuke, and Sasuke shook his head. Naruto dug into his limited knowledge of this world to check if he had come across the concept 'wand' before, but as usual all his brain produced was a big 'eh?'. Giant Fuzzball interpreted Sasuke's shake as a 'no' aimed at him, and with his huge hands pulled Naruto towards the shop.

"In you go then. A wand is very important for a wizard, y'know."

Naruto didn't bother explaining that they were shinobi, not wizards. Giant Fuzzball seemed incapable of remembering that fact, and treated them like kids new to the wizarding world. Which they were, but they were far from naive.

The moment they entered the store every sound from the street vanished, as if they'd stepped into another world. The store felt like the gaping maw of an otherworldly beast. It set the hairs on Naruto's neck on end, but even so, there was enough to look at to make him forget the weird atmosphere. An old man whizzed up to them, wheezing out a few words before disappearing in a back room.

"With you in a minute!"

In there the old man proceeded to create giant crashing sounds, as if he had decided to forcefully redecorate using nothing but a sledgehammer and an ice pick. Naruto couldn't help but wander over to the tantalizing wall of boxes and pull one out. It held a large wooden stick, laid on a velvet purple pillow. The stick was made of a light wood, lighter at the tip and dark at the bottom. Before Sasuke or Giant Fuzzball could stop him, he picked it up.

It promptly exploded in his hand.

Immediately both shinobi had their weapons out and looked around for any other hidden traps. Had Giant Fuzzball herded them into one? What did the old man want with two Konoha shinobi?

The loud bang called the old man swiftly back into the store, and his gaze slid from the empty box to the wooden splinters to Naruto. He cocked his head at the display of kunai.

"Shinobi then? _Welcome to my store_."

The old man spoke the last sentence in their native language, and the old man chuckled when he had their undivided attention.

"I've traveled the hidden countries when I was young lad. I'm afraid that I've forgotten a lot of your language, so pardon my English. What hidden village are you from, if I may ask?"

Gradually, Naruto began to relax, but kept hold of his kunai. The old man acted nice enough, and he saw no signs of any hidden traps in the store. Perhaps the exploding wand had been just an accident.

"Why did the stick, no, wand, go explode?" asked Sasuke. The old man smirked. Naruto kept a firm grip on his kunai.

"Because you have too much magic, you call it chakra. These wands are made for wizards, so they can't handle the amount of chakra you have circling in your bodies. That's why it exploded. But lucky for you, I've got some stronger, thicker wands made especially for shinobi. There's a clan in the hidden Wood country who use magic, and I create wands for them. Are you from Wood country, by any chance?"

Naruto had trouble understanding the man's exact words, but he got the gist of it. Something about them being too strong for these twigs to handle. He put his kunai back, and encountered his forehead protector in the pouch. Should he... Nah, it was too dangerous to let the man know which hidden village they hailed from.

"No, we're not from Wood country," Sasuke curtly answered the man's question. Apparently, he deemed the man safe enough (maybe Sasuke's Sharingan had given him more information), because he actually got his forehead protector out and angled it so the man saw the symbol etched into it.

"Ah, Konoha then." The man smiled at a memory. "Those trees had the perfect wood to make thick wands from... Is Sarutobi still your hokage?"

Naruto narrowed his eyes at that. How much did this man exactly know about their village? They better weigh their words more. On their first day, already meeting someone on the other side of the world who knew about their hokage probably wasn't a good sign.

"No, he died a few years back."

The old man frowned when Sasuke announced that. He seemed genuinely saddened, the wrinkles in his face adding to the effect of old paper about to tear with distress. "I'm sorry to hear that. But let's leave the past the past and focus on the present. You fine shinobi need wands? Please wait here, I'll go grab the special wands for you."

The man once again disappeared to the back of his shop and Naruto shared a meaningful look with Sasuke. What had that been all about? The man claimed to have traveled the shinobi countries, and he possessed knowledge that no wizard his displayed thus far. What did that mean for them, could they trust him or did they have to be extra careful with what they said?

"Which of you want to go first?" asked the old man. Sasuke stepped forward, and grabbed a measuring tape out of mid-air when it lunged for his face. He gave the old man a dirty look, and the man smiled apologetically.

"Terribly sorry, but I need to get your measurements in order to give you a proper wand. What's your main hand?"

Sasuke held one hand on a kunai in his pouch, and allowed the measuring tape to wriggle out of his other hand, but remained quiet otherwise. Naruto hadn't understood the question, and neither had Sasuke apparently. The old man got the hint and reworded his question.

"I mean: which hand do you use the most?"

"Right."

The measuring tape flitted about Sasuke, and the shinobi shifted uncomfortably, his eyes tracking the tape without fail. Naruto didn't blame him.

"Yes, that's enough," snapped the old man at the tape, and it fell lifelessly to the ground like a rubber hose. The man lifted the lid from a box he pulled from the wall and handed Sasuke a thick wand.

"Go on, give it a wave. Ash, 11 inches, core of a phoenix feather."

Sasuke had barely touched it before the old man yanked it from Sasuke's hand.

"No, that won't do. Try this one."

The man kept on giving and taking various wands, each time describing the core qualities of the wands. At the sixth wand, Sasuke hit the jackpot. When he gave the wand a flick it spewed sparks and a content expression settled on Sasuke's face.

"Well, it seems the wand has chosen the wizard, or in this case, the shinobi. The wood comes from one of Konoha's trees, so perhaps that resonates within you. Twelve inches, with a dragon heartstring core and reinforced with cockatrice feathers. Next shinobi, please."

Sasuke stepped back and gave Naruto the floor. Naruto noticed Sasuke flicked the wand a few times and every time sparks shot out of it. Naruto wasn't looking forward to this. Maybe the old man didn't have a wand for him, because of his 'special condition'. Or maybe no wand would be able to deal with a demon's chakra. If a regular wand already exploded when Naruto hadn't molded any chakra, what good would a reinforced stick be when it would have to channel the full extent of demon chakra?

But the man measured Naruto (who felt somewhat violated) and handed him a wand after asking what his main hand was. Naruto readied himself for an explosion, but the wand miraculously held. The old man didn't let him enjoy this not-explosion for long, and snatched it from Naruto's hand while pressing a new one into it at the same time. Naruto saw that this man had done that a thousand times before.

The pile of rejected wands grew ever larger, but Naruto didn't know why. He could channel chakra through any material, be it metal or wood. What exactly needed to happen? He didn't know if he had to make sparks fly in order to get a wand, but he could make fire, no problem. The old man muttered the specs of every wand, but Naruto had long since stopped paying attention to those. When the man fell quiet, he paid attention again.

"This... might be what you're looking for..." The old man was hesitant, but finally handed Naruto a extremely thick and short wand. "Also from Konoha wood, but with the core of manticore's mane, reinforced with dragon scales. Nine inches."

The moment Naruto touched the wand he knew this was the one. Sure enough, sparks flew when he flicked it. He felt his face stretch into a dopey smile. The rumbling voice of Giant Fuzzball sounded behind Naruto and he had forgotten the huge man was present.

"So you managed to make wands out of the mane I gave you? Impressive."

The old man took the compliment graciously and started putting the many discarded wands away. "What's more impressive is that you managed to get manticore's mane in the first place. Though I guess you've got your size working for you."

Giant Fuzzball shifted uneasily and got up. The chair he sat in creaked and Naruto swore he heard it sigh in relief. "Yes, well, they're like big kittens if you know how to handle them. How much for the wands?"

The change of subject was as obvious as a donkey in a zebra herd and Naruto sensed that the giant man was hiding something. Naruto made a mental note to check that out later, but for now let his fingers run up and down the wand, creating more sparks. Amazing how little chakra he needed to get a response out of this thing. Molding chakra was harder with your hands than with this thing, he suspected.

"These wands are a bit more expensive, since they're rather ... unique. So that'll be ten Galleons each, please."

Giant Fuzzball grimaced at the apparently steep price, but paid nonetheless. The pair slipped into a quick conversation about manticore mane and other ingredients needed for wands, which left the shinobi time to talk amongst themselves.

"Think these things are gonna make our lives easier?" asked Naruto, but Sasuke's face was as stoic as ever. He kept on fingering his wand, and surreptitiously stepped on some sparks that had begun to smolder on the wooden floor before answering.

"We'll have to wait and see. If everybody is proficient at performing magic, we'll have to watch our backs. But now we're capable of learning magic as well. So we'll have to wait-"

"And see," Naruto finished for him. "I hope mine doesn't explode when I use some 'special' chakra."

Apparently Sasuke hadn't thought of that yet, because Naruto saw his eye give a twitch. He saw the gears turning in Sasuke's head, and predictably he said:

"You stay far away from me while you try that."

Naruto grinned at Sasuke and opened his mouth to retort but Giant Fuzzball had finished the transaction and conversation and ushered them out of the shop while thanking the old man. Belatedly the shinobi said "thanks" and then they once again disappeared into one of the many, many shops of Diagion Alley.


	2. Obligatory Introduction part 2

**A/N: **I've forgotten to mention that this fic is slightly AU in that Naruto dragged Sasuke back from the Valley of the End. Also, grammar mistakes in Naruto's and Sasuke's dialogue are intentional, to reflect their difficulty with the English language.

* * *

They managed to get their shopping list items all crossed out and soon they were back in the world they knew, though with more vehicles and less trees, also known as Heathrow Airport. Giant Fuzzball said his goodbyes to them at Diagion Alley, claiming it was dangerous for him to walk amongst the muggles.

"You know, I once outran a train," said Naruto as they tried to locate the platform from which their train departed.

"I didn't know exactly what it was back then, but I ran in a tunnel and it moved damn fast. I carried the snow princess and she said things like 'give up' and 'you're not fast enough', but I kept on running and running and just when I felt the train at my heels we were at the end of the tunnel and I jumped to the left and we made it!"

Sasuke sighed and checked the parchment he held, just so he could ignore his teammate waving his arms about as he told his tale.

"I know, idiot, I was there. But why not jump to the top of the tunnel? There's always enough room at the top to at least admit one person."

"Because… because… like you're such an expert on train tunnels all of a sudden."

"Common sense, Naruto, though with you it's not as common as the name implies. Come on, this is our platform."

Before his insult resulted in the usual 'what? I'll get you!'-brawl Sasuke walked off, leaving his teammate steaming.

The train was shiny and metal and moving quite fast. A lot faster than the only other train Sasuke had ever encountered, which had been a giant armed fortress with on-board machine guns which spewed kunai. This train was meant for passengers and as such whizzed through the forest-less landscape. Naruto once again glued his eyes to the window as he watched the terrain pass by, complete with strange buildings and highways and cars and other signs of an unfamiliar civilization.

Sasuke grew bored after seeing the umpteenth highway run along the train tracks and kept himself busy with one of his scrolls.

The other passengers left them alone, most likely because they emanated an air of 'foreigners who don't speak one word of English' and that seemed to scare off anyone wanting to converse with them. At every stop people got in and out of the train, but gradually the train became less crowded. The terrain started to change too, with more valleys and peaks in the distance and less highways cutting through the ground.

It was growing dark, and Sasuke felt the tug of sleep at his eyes. After all, it was 2am for their bodies. In the plane he hadn't slept at all, making this his 34th hour of being awake. He had gone longer without sleep, but the burning in his eyes annoyed him.

He wondered how much longer he'd have to stay awake. Not long after that thought the train pulled in at the final station and a tired voice announced that they'd arrived at the last stop, please get out and mind your luggage. And take it with you as well.

Sasuke got up, pulled his backpack from the luggage rack and let it fall down onto Naruto's snoring head. The blonde chuunin awoke with a "what? What?" before his eyes met the fallen backpack and he glared. "Damn you Sasuke!"

"Hurry up, idiot, before they lock up the train."

"Yeah, yeah, keep yer pants on," drawled Naruto and gathered his backpack and some other bags. The station looked like Heathrow like water looks like coffee. Two train tracks connected it to the rest of the world and a few dispersed lights illuminated a bare platform. A few other travelers stumbled from the train and made their way to the stairs leading down into darkness. The two chuunin followed those who seemed to know where they were going and halfway down the stairs Sasuke whipped out his dictionary to decipher which word meant 'taxi'. The pictograms on a sign depicting different kinds of vehicles only confused them further and after waiting for Sasuke to struggle through his dictionary Naruto walked up to the nearest man and asked "taxi?".

The man pointed to one of the exits and Naruto walked outside, took a look around and yelled for Sasuke to "get your ass over here", to which Sasuke replied "stop yelling", but still made his way over to his teammate.

A lone cab waited outside, with a shifty-eyed lanky man leaning against it. The man talked into something he held (a mobile phone, Sasuke deducted) and gestured wildly with his other hand. When he spotted Naruto and Sasuke he promptly hung up without so much as a goodbye and approached them.

"Daiki Sato and Hideko Tanaka?" he asked in a loud voice and Sasuke internally winced at the way this man mangled his codename, but nodded his assent.

"Alright, put your bags in the trunk," the man talked slow and now mimed picking up a bag and pointed at the back end of his car, "and get in. I will take you to the forest."

Sasuke wanted to reply that he spoke and understood English and that the man could stop talking to them like they were idiots, but refrained when he took a good, long look at the car. If such a hunk of metal would crash and burn, he didn't know if even he could get out in time to avoid serious injury. Best not to aggravate the driver.

"Why didn't they let us run to the forest?" complained Naruto as he deposited his backpack in the opened trunk.

"Because the employer doesn't know our skill set. Yet."

The ride itself was uneventful. It was the first time Sasuke had ever sat in a car, but he didn't understand the appeal of it. Sure, you remained dry, had a radio to listen to and traveling like this didn't tire you out, but in the case of an enemy attack a car would be crushed in an instant. He saw no quick escape routes, and it also ran on an highly flammable liquid.

And it was noisy, smelled like oil and petrol and metal and plastic and could only travel on flat roads. And if it broke down, it was useless. And… Sasuke gave up after naming another shortcoming and focused on the outside world. In the dark there wasn't much to see, especially now that the highway they traveled on was deserted.

His eyes unconsciously followed the interrupted white line until he slipped into a kind of trance. Alright, he dozed off and Naruto had to wake him when the cab pulled over and the man announced "this is your stop, lads."

Sasuke resisted the urge to rub his eyes. Naruto was already grinning at him, no need to give him further ammo (or get bonked on the head in retaliation to his 'slip' earlier).

A man stood on the side of the road, dressed in a colorful robe and he sported the longest beard Sasuke had ever seen. His eyes were kind, and Sasuke felt at ease with this man. And that put him on guard. The man might be manipulating his chakra to give off pleasant vibes in order to lure them into a false sense of security.

"I'm Tanaka Hideko and this is Sato Daiki," Sasuke said in his native tongue and added: "It was a long journey."

The old man smiled and responded: "But the rewards are reaped."

Sasuke and Naruto nodded in recognition of the password they had agreed on and relaxed a bit. At least they managed to travel to the right employer.

"Alrighty then, I'll be on my way," said their chauffeur. Before he got in his car though, the employer pulled a thin stick from his robes and waved it about.

"_Obliviate._"

The chauffeur's face immediately took on a glazed look and he stopped halfway into getting into the car. After two seconds of imitating a dead fish hung up on a wall he shook his head, got in his car and drove off without further comment.

"What did you do?" Sasuke asked in a carefully neutral voice and kept his eyes trained on the stick. He resisted the urge to let his eyes flow into the Sharingan. Best not to be identified yet.

"I'm afraid I had to erase the man's memory of this ride," said the employer. "This setting is too conspicuous and the wizarding world has forbidden almost all contact with Muggles. Now, please, follow me. Oh, and I'm professor Dumbledore, in case the name was so foreign to you you'd forgotten it."

"Wait. Are you planning to erase our memories after this year?" asked Sasuke sharply. Dumbledore chuckled and shook his head. Sasuke looked closely for clues the man lied, but either he spoke the truth or he was an expert at lying.

"You aren't muggles. Plus by the time I've uttered the first syllable I know I'll have my throat cut."

Well, at least he was aware of a shinobi's skills. Dumbledore turned his back on them (a stupid move with two shinobi behind them, but then again, he was their employer) and led the way.

Sasuke gestured for Naruto to come, who tried his hardest to understand the conversation but was left behind as soon as Dumbledore said 'conspicuous'. Sasuke made it clear with his body language that he'd tell Naruto later and his teammate grudgingly agreed. He had grown up after all, a little bit.

Dumbledore led them on a long walk, through a thin stretch of forest and finally they spotted something aglow in the distance. The forest made way to grass and as they passed a tall gate Sasuke saw somebody had gouged out letters in the stone. They were unreadable in the dark though.

Dumbledore had been silent for the whole walk but finally he said in their native tongue: "I'll show you to your room. I'll set up a meeting in the morning, so you can introduce yourselves to the rest of the staff. Please wear your masks, because your age will be frowned upon in our culture. You'll have one week to become familiar with the basic layout of the castle. I'm sure the rest of the mission parameters are familiar to you. Do you have any questions at the moment?"

"Yes," said Sasuke. "How do you intend to keep to the last clause of the contract?"

Dumbledore looked back over his shoulder as he answered.

"I have instructed my staff to be on the lookout for anyone wearing a black cloak with red clouds. If they are found, you will be notified immediately and I have placed an emergency Portkey in my office, leading straight to Heathrow."

Naruto frowned at the precautionary measures taken for his safety, but when Sasuke threw him a Look he wilted and shook his head. Now was not the time to complain that they could take on Akatsuki-members on their own.

"That was all," said Sasuke.

But more questions did pop in Sasuke's head as they neared the school. Or should he say: humongous castle. Light shone behind a few windows, but most windows remained dark, making the castle look ominous. They were going to have a hell of a time guarding it, especially considering the many twists and turns the path took. Sometimes the castle disappeared behind the trees and hills surrounding it, so that meant that the path wasn't fully visible from the castle either.

Sasuke noted this as the first flaw in the castle's defense. He heard Naruto breathe "wow" as they neared it. The castle looked impressive indeed, with all kinds of towers and windows and its sheer size was intimidating enough. And the castle felt alive, buzzing with ancient chakra (or magic, as they called it). Sasuke let his eyes slip into the Sharingan and he actually saw the residual wisps of chakra in the air, flowing like the wind.

Dumbledore led them through huge doors, up a marble stair case until they hit the third floor. Here he led them through all kinds of hallways and corridors until they came to a heavy wooden door, indistinguishable from the other wooden doors. Dumbledore opened it and Sasuke immediately spotted two beds, a table with two chairs and a nightstand.

"This'll be your room for the duration of the mission. This door," Dumbledore gestured to another wooden door, "leads to a bathroom."

He explained the times when food was served in a place called the Great Hall, but he promised them that Rubeus (so that was Giant Fuzzball's name!) would give them a tour of the place tomorrow.

"For now, please rest. Rubeus'll come collect you in the morning."

After exchanging some polite goodnights the employer left, and Naruto was finally able to burst free from his self-imposed silence. Apart from a couple of "wow"-remarks, his teammate had been unnaturally silent the whole time. Sasuke didn't know if that was because Naruto couldn't express himself in English, or if he was growing up, but probably the former. But now everything he'd held back came out like ash in a volcanic explosion.

"Did you see the giant lake? And the castle? It's huge! I can actually feel the chakra in this place, I bet you can see it. I noticed you used the Sharingan. Can you see it, huh?"

Sasuke gave a curt nod and dumped his backpack on the first bed. The room was large but for the most part empty. Two four-poster beds graced the room, both with red curtains. A single window showed a view of the lake and a red-golden rug lay on the floor. At the foot of the beds stood a trunk large enough to stuff Naruto in and still have room to spare. A nightstand with drawers stood next to the bed and on the wall hung a tapestry depicting some war concerning an unicorn and a leprechaun or some kind of magical creature Sasuke hadn't ever laid eyes on. A fireplace coated with black charcoal and ash was embedded into the wall and a heavy-looking table with two chairs completed the room.

Naruto still babbled away as he walked towards the bathroom, so all Sasuke had to do was grunt sometimes or say "hn". He gave the bathroom a quick glance, but it wasn't a bathroom to brag about. A clear white bath tub, an unassuming toilet and a sink along with a mirror was all there was to it, along with a small glass shower cubicle embedded into the wall.

He'd better start unpacking before sleep claimed him, and he hated rushed unpacking when you had a giant fuzzball banging on your door.

* * *

He paused at the first item he grabbed. His mask.

No way. This was Tsunade's way of getting revenge on Naruto for some perceived (or actual) sleight, but for once his teammate had been sneaky and had pawned the mask off onto Sasuke. Without checking what the mask represented he had chucked it into his backpack and had kept on packing in a hurry.

After seeing the look on Sasuke's face Naruto almost laughed himself into a coma (or a Chidori-induced one) but that still didn't change the mask.

It pictured a chick. Not a girl, but the cute little yellow balls of feather that children want to hold in their hands and cluck at. Or at least, that's what Sasuke had observed. He'd been too busy flinging yet another kunai at the target painted on a tree to pay much attention to the chirping chicks in the neighbor's back yard.

Since they weren't ANBU (yet) they were given masks which didn't exist within ANBU. Such as the fox mask Naruto currently examined, and the chick mask. The fox mask wasn't used for an obvious reason, which sat across from Sasuke on the bed.

As for the chick mask… Sasuke doubted any self-respecting shinobi would willingly wear a mask that represented a fuzzy yellow creature. A very non-deadly creature, if you overlooked the salmonella thing. Silently Sasuke let the hidden kunai in his sleeve slide into his hand and with it he scraped off the paint.

"Hey! What are you doing?" Naruto asked.

"Changing my mask," replied Sasuke in an even tone. "Go find me some charcoal."

"Go find it yourself, lazy bum. I'm happy with my mask, if you want to fingerpaint all over your mask, go ahead. But don't order me around."

With a harrumph Naruto returned to unpacking and soon Sasuke lost himself in the task of repainting his mask. The small fireplace provided enough charcoal for his art project and soon the stylized chick was replaced by a more menacing crow. Sasuke blew the last charcoal from the mask and slid a thumb over the drawing. He might have to find some varnish later on, but for now it'd do. He erased the smudge his thumb left and turned to find his teammate already fast asleep.

Sasuke quickly unpacked. With every snore Naruto gave he felt his eyelids getting heavier. He had lost track of how many hours he'd been awake, but it was too long. Especially if they were expected to talk a lot of English tomorrow. He'd need his wits about him.

He bit his tongue on the remark that Naruto'd need to sleep three weeks straight to keep his wits about. No use talking to a sleeping body, but it was so automatic to insult Naruto he didn't even had to think about it. After he finished unpacking he collapsed on the bed and just managed to pull the covers over his body before his mind joined Naruto's in dreamland.

* * *

At the Academy they taught that building trust with the employer(s) was important. Sometimes Naruto was too good at that, making friends (and enemies) all over the Hidden Countries. Sasuke mainly had enemies, but he too understood the importance of trust between an employer and a shinobi.

Which is why they stood in the Teacher's Lounge, facing the teachers of Hogwarts. They were a varied bunch, ranging from a petite man to a woman with branches sticking out everywhere. The women were also far from the range the shinobi were used to. A tight-lipped scrawny woman scowled like Sasuke at them, but right next to her stood a woman whom Naruto could plant a 'vacancy' sign on and she wouldn't even notice.

Naruto bowed to them and said: "Daiki Sato, Chuunin of Fire Country, code-name 'Fox'." He bit down in time on the automatic 'future hokage', but he managed to squeeze his rank into his introduction anyhow.

"Hideko Tanaka, Chuunin of Fire Country, code-name 'Crow'," introduced Sasuke himself, also making a small bow towards the assorted teachers.

Dumbledore took over from them and addressed the teachers. "Since the Dementors turned out to be … unsuccessful last year, I hired new guards for Hogwarts."

Most of the speech was lost on Naruto, but he caught the gist of it: that they were shinobi from Konoha, and why he had chosen to hire guards from a hidden country. During the speech his mind wandered to the chosen names. To remain somewhat incognito they had settled on a fake name. They would still be Fox and Crow to the students, but the teachers thought that they'd given their real names. That meant a basis for trust, and trust was important for a mission this long. They'd have to work alongside the teachers, and the sooner they got along, the better.

Naruto hoped he remembered to react to the fake name, or the teachers would find out real quick.

"They will patrol the grounds at night so you won't have to anymore, and I've asked them to teach some duelling classes for any interested students."

Asked? Naruto remembered the mission parameters. More like 'put in there and granny Tsunade was forced to accept because of the incredible sum of money Konoha would receive upon successful completion of this mission, and here's a down payment of two times an A-ranked mission, to coerce you into sending your best shinobi'.

The old man sure knew how a hidden village worked, especially one recovering from an invasion.

"I thank you for your time. I'll see you all at dinner, then."

The old man smiled a dismissive smile and watched as the staff slowly dispersed, some of them talking amongst each other, but the majority openly stared at Sasuke and Naruto, who stood at attention like the trained shinobi that they were. Naruto knew that the teachers must be curious, but they held it back. They might have to deal with that later. Giant Fuzzball approached and nodded at them.

"Morning fellows, I'm your tour guide this morning. If you'll follow me, please…"

* * *

To a Konoha-born shinobi, the castle felt dark and huge, made from unnatural stone and lacking in plant life. There were plenty of other things around to look at (such as the moving, talking paintings and the enchanted torches), but they were all man-made. The castle was too square, too impregnated with the order imposed on natural elements that Sasuke didn't feel at home here.

Giant Fuzzball seemed to feel at home though, judging by the way he spoke about the various paintings and showing them secret shortcuts, sometimes with traps built in to capture an inattentive student.

From a shinobi's perspective, the castle contained a lot of openings, but in case of an attack, the castle was easy to defend. Its creators had thought long and hard on the architecture, because from what Sasuke saw, there were at most three ways in and out of the castle. Add to that the various hexes placed on it, and you got a location where Sasuke would gladly hole himself up in.

But it was still too dank.

And it had too many surprises for a shinobi. The suits of armor clanged at them, surprising Sasuke and he darted away a few steps in a decidedly girly fashion, or so Naruto told him. Multiple times.

His teammate got his comeuppance when a see-through ghost drifted through the walls. Naruto gave a shriek (utterly girly in Sasuke's opinion) and Sasuke had to physically restrain him to keep him from running off. The guy who didn't blink at fighting demons was somehow still scared of ghosts. The balding ghost seemed offended by Naruto's shriek and floated closer, wagging his finger at the shinobi.

"I may be dead, but I still have feelings."

"G-g-g-g-," Naruto said, pointing a trembling finger at the ghost. Sasuke noticed the fat man wore a habit.

"Yes, that's a ghost," said Sasuke in a calming voice. "Get over it."

But there was no venom in his voice. Better get this over with than have to deal with tackling Naruto every time a ghost floated past.

"There's nothing to be scared of, young man, we ghosts... chose to stay longer. No harm done," said the ghost in a surprisingly warm voice for a dead creature. He smiled and pointed at himself. "I'm known as the Fat Friar. Welcome to Hogwarts, I hope you have a pleasant stay here. If there's anything you need, I'm your ghost."

"You seen Peeves around, Fat Friar?" asked Giant Fuzzball. Naruto calmed down somewhat, but Sasuke saw that behind his mask he was still wide-eyed. The giant and the ghost started discussing some mutual acquaintance, leaving Sasuke to assess Naruto's mental condition.

"You gonna run off?" he asked, and when Naruto shook his head he slowly let his teammate go. He kept him in arm's reach though. He didn't fancy tracking down a shinobi who didn't want to be found in this mysterious stone maze. Or worse, track down a whole lot of Naruto's if he decided to use Kage Bunshin [1], only to have every one of them go 'poof' in his hands.

"See? They're harmless. Even Giant Fu- Hagrid thinks so."

"Easy for him to say, he's twenty feet tall."

Sasuke bopped Naruto on the head. "Get real. You're a shinobi. _That_," Sasuke indicated the ghost, "is a jolly fat ghost. We can hear it coming, we can see it coming, better yet; we can _sense_ it coming. So there's nothing to fear."

The Fat Friar was done talking with Hagrid and still smiled up a storm, as if he wanted to put Naruto at ease that way.

"If it makes you feel better, I can't even touch you. So I can't harm you in any way."

Naruto nodded, but his eyes were still too large for his face. For the moment he seemed to accept that at least this ghost wasn't out for his blood. Sasuke hoped that the other ghosts were as harmless as this one, because he didn't want to deal with Naruto in this state more often. Giant Fuzzball ushered the shinobi onward.

"That was the Fat Friar. Thanks for introducing yourself, mr. Friar, we'll be on our way now."

The ghost waved at them and disappeared through a wall. Giant Fuzzball continued the tour, and slowly Naruto calmed down. They didn't encounter any more ghosts, and the tour was immensely helpful. Giant Fuzzball knew his stuff. He told them tidbits of information on pretty much every corridor. And not only that, he was the groundskeeper, so he knew every tree and every rock as if it was his own backyard. Which it actually was.

The only large unknown factor was the Forbidden Forest. Sasuke figured it couldn't be worse than the Forest of Death back in Konoha, but he already planned some expeditions into the forest in his mind. Such a large unknown factor was not a welcome risk, and they needed as much intel as possible if they were to defend this castle in a proper manner.

Once back in their rooms Naruto stretched and Sasuke suppressed a flinch at the way his teammate's back cracked.

"There sure are some weird people around here, including those ghosts," said Naruto and cracked his neck for good measure. Sasuke shrugged.

"I've seen weirder."

"Sure you have," replied Naruto and fell down on the bed, signaling that this conversation was over. Without even bothering to undress, Naruto crept under the covers and seemed to fall asleep right there and then. Sasuke sometimes envied him for that.

Before he could sleep, he needed to take a shower, and even then he sometimes lay awake for hours, just thinking. But not tonight. He'd sleep soundly tonight, because there was too much to think about so he couldn't focus on one thing. A blessing in disguise, the tour turned out to be.

* * *

It became immediately apparent when the students arrived. They were loud, and their voices mixed into a general murmur. They were also sopping wet, tracking water everywhere. Naruto and Sasuke took their places on either side of the room and regarded the students from behind their masks.

Sasuke saw civilian kids. He was so used to throngs of shinobi that he felt decidedly out of place. The kids here weren't constantly on high alert, and he'd eat his mask if even one of them had endured hardship.

He mentally scolded himself for his lapse in attention and kept on surveying the kids. A lot of them talked amongst themselves and threw him and Naruto curious looks. Sasuke kept still as a statue.

After the students took their seats at the elongated tables the Sorting Ceremony began, or so Ms. McGonagall said. Apparently it had something to do with an oversized hat and way too nervous eleven-year old, and the various Houses in which they got placed.

He kept an eye out for the special charge, and finally found him sitting at the table of kids wearing red-hemmed robes. He applauded when a new kid got sorted into his House but kept up a conversation with a red-headed boy sitting next to him. A girl also joined in the conversation, but they became silent when Dumbledore got up and began his speech.

The Triwizard Tournament came of no surprise to the shinobi, but the students were shocked. After Dumbledore said what he had to say, he left the students to speculate and talk amongst themselves.

After the speech the food appeared and Sasuke felt thankful he had already eaten, because the scents overwhelmed him. He _had_ to learn where that amazing food came from. He managed to cook an edible meal, but he was more occupied with cleaning his weapons than preparing an amazing meal.

It took a while before the kids were done with the (delicious) desserts, and all the while Sasuke kept his post. He had been trained for this sort of thing, but even from this distance he saw Naruto fidgeted. The idiot never had much patience, except for his pursuit after Sakura. Sasuke briefly wondered if his teammate had even noticed that the Hyuuga girl pined after him, but scolded himself for letting his attention wander, again.

The desserts vanished as quickly as they had arrived and Dumbledore got up. He made a few announcements about the forest outside (they weren't supposed to enter it? Oops...) along with some other rules, and finally acknowledged the shinobi.

"Last year we had the Dementors accompany us as guards, but this year I've had the liberty to choose guards of my own. With the Triwizard Tournament coming to school this year, they are here to guarantee the safety of every living soul on the school grounds. I introduce you to mr. Crow," Sasuke gave a quick bow to the amusement of some of the nearby kids, "and mr. Fox."

Naruto copied Sasuke but wasn't laughed at on his side of the Great Hall. Sasuke did hear some kids exclaim: "what kind of name is mr. Crow? And mr. Fox? Gimme a break."

"They are from one of the hidden countries and will remain with us this entire school year. They'll patrol the school at day _and _at night, so please, don't make them kill you."

The students laughed at his last remark, but Sasuke wasn't so sure the old man had meant it in jest. He at least knew what they were capable of, but the students had yet to see.

"With all that said and done, I wish you a good night, and a good year."

The students applauded politely and then, table by table, stumbled off into the school. Sasuke saw that Naruto discreetly created two more clones and transformed them into school children.

With some quick hand gestures the shinobi divided the houses between them and Sasuke followed the kids with the green-hemmed robes to their common room from a distance. Some kids noticed him, but only one halted and waited for Sasuke to catch up.

Not in the mood for any cheek from this kid (he had laughed at Sasuke's formal bow), Sasuke waved at him to keep on walking.

"The hidden countries, hm?" the blonde kid asked rhetorically, and looked Sasuke up and down. Impatiently Sasuke gestured for the kid to keep on moving.

"My father didn't know you were coming. Dumbledore must've been planning this behind the school council's back, which my father is chairman of. But no matter. If you need any help, I can show you the ropes, introduce you to some people. Let me know."

The kid threw him a smile which reminded Sasuke of Kabuto. But Sasuke kept carefully neutral. He inclined his head at the boy and finally he walked off.

The common room of the green-hemmed kids was in the dungeons. Sasuke kept standing guard there for fifteen minutes before leaving and meeting up with Naruto. They worked out a patrol schedule some time ago, and now was the first night they had to implement it.

The first night of many, many to come.

* * *

[1] Shadow Clones, for you dub-people.


	3. The first hurdles

**3. The first hurdles**

**A/N: **Lots of small scenes in this one as Sasuke and Naruto explore the wonders of Hogwarts, and Hermione tries to find out more about them. Oh, and Sasuke sets his hair on fire.

* * *

"So?" asked Ron as soon as they entered the Gryffindor common room.

"So what?" asked Hermione in puzzlement. Ron made a broad gesture with his arms. He tried to imitate Dumbledore's voice, but he was better off hitting the broad side of the Burrow.

" 'Why, welcome to Hogwarts, oh, by the way, I've hired some foreign guards to patrol the hallways every night."

"Oh, _that_," said Hermione. They maneuvered their way through the throngs of Gryffindors talking in the common room and managed to secure a beat-up sofa in one of the darker corners of the room.

"Honestly, Ron, what'd you expect after the Death Eaters arrive at the Cup?"

Hermione's tone suggested that she'd figured it out months ago, but Harry knew that wasn't the case. She merely used her famous logic on the situation and managed to make Ron sputter once more.

"I don't know, but not two pint-sized guys with masks!"

"They're from the Hidden Countries, of course they're smaller there."

"Or," said Harry, "you're too big."

Ron looked from one friend to another as they continued teasing him. His ears got redder by the minute.

"I'll bet they'll view you as a Hagrid," said Hermione.

"Heck, I wonder what they think _about_ Hagrid!" interjected Harry.

"Imagine that being the first contact ever with the wizarding world," grinned Hermione, and that made Ron and Harry grin.

"Imagine that," said Harry, thinking fondly back at the time Hagrid banged on the door on his eleventh birthday on that little island in the middle of nowhere. They shared a few more grins and meaningful looks before Ron's impatience brought them back on the subject at hand.

"So: guards. Hidden Countries, you said?" asked Ron, and Hermione's face settled into her lecture-mode. She told them about the countries which kept to themselves (so to her eternal regret she didn't know much about them), but they practiced some form of magic there. The countries warred over territory, resources and of course politics had a hand in it, making them strong nations with a huge army. Not much was known (at least: Hermione didn't know much) about the way they fought, only that it was vaguely linked to magic, albeit in a different form.

"Let me guess," said Harry after she'd once again expressed her regrets that she didn't know much about the Hidden Countries. "Your next words are: I'm going to the library."

"No, actually, I'm going to bed. And you should too," she said and got up from the comfy sofa. "First day of school ahead of us, fill those empty heads with knowledge!"

"You're starting to sound like Dumbledore," accused Ron.

Hermione flashed him a winning smile. "Thanks, Ron." She bade them goodnight and disappeared through the door leading to the girl's dormitories. When she'd disappeared Ron turned to Harry.

"I didn't mean that as a compliment," he said, a baffled look on his face. Harry burst into laughter and together they followed Hermione's example.

* * *

Sometimes it didn't pay being a shinobi.

Like when an employer dragged you all the way from Konoha to Scotland to watch over a few hundred kids and guard a huge castle from intruders. Learning a foreign language and mastering foreign chakra was all part of the deal, so perhaps it wasn't all bad.

Except on nights when you had to argue with the civilian caretaker, who refused to go back to bed.

"I've been patrolling these halls for longer than you have lived. So do not send me back to my room."

Sasuke was getting close to knocking the man out and saving himself the trouble of arguing with him, but he didn't think the employer would be pleased with that. So instead, he used his words.

"Mister, we have been hired to do this. The other teachers trust us with this task, and Dumbledore also entrusted this task to us. Go back to bed, and you can patrol at day."

The vile old man raised his finger and wagged it. Sasuke swore he felt a vein pop.

"Ah, but that's where you're wrong. I'm not a teacher, I'm the caretaker. I've guarded this castle all my life, and I know it like the back of my hand. There is no way any student sneaks past me, whereas for you young ones, you barely know the way from Gryffindor Tower to the Great Hall. So how are you going to catch any wandering students?"

Must not hit. Must. Not. Hit.

"Mister," began Sasuke, and mentally added 'dumbass' to it, but refrained from saying it out loud. "you're alone. My teammate and I can cover the whole castle, catching any 'wandering students'. So go back to bed and let us worry about them."

"But there are only two of you!"

"We know a spell which can duplicate any person," Sasuke tried to explain in terms the man would understand. "That's how we're able to cover the castle."

The man glared, for some reason, and asked in a snide tone:

"Why don't you teach that spell to some of the teachers so they can use it?"

"Because they'll die if they use it," Sasuke's answered bluntly. He wondered why the man hadn't demanded that Sasuke taught the spell to Filch himself. In fact, he had never seen the old man handle a wand. He did all the cleaning by hand, or as the wizards said: 'like a Muggle'. Intriguing.

"So why can _you_ use it without risk?"

The man used 'you' as if it was a vile word. Sasuke felt tempted to walk away, but knew that he must respect the employer's subordinates, even if they smelled like his garbage can after a long mission, with some forgotten food still inside. But he laced his voice with as much disdain as he could muster, and perhaps a tiny bit of killing intent slipped out.

"Because we're not wizards. We're shinobi."

His body language told the man 'and we're a lot more powerful than you', and the man seemed to pick it up swiftly. He flinched and shuffled backwards.

"Alright, I'll let you be on your way. But I'm not giving up my patrols."

So maybe Sasuke let out a teeny tiny bit more killing intent than he had planned, but it got rid of the man without harming him.

"Alright. We'll try not to see you as an intruder and kill you."

Sasuke didn't know if the man heard that or not, but he was gone awfully quick. Sasuke let a lazy smirk drift onto his face and threw the janitor a mock salute.

Silly man.

* * *

Three days later Harry, Hermione and Ron were still speculating about the guards. "I have an idea," announced Ron. "Get the Marauder's map out. Maybe it shows their real names, because they can't be Fox and Crow. They have daft parents if that's true," urged Ron, and Harry spread the parchment out on the table before tapping it and saying the password. In the myriad of lines and dots they searched for any names they didn't recognize. They didn't have to search hard, because at least thirty dots with letters in an unfamiliar alphabet roamed across Hogwarts.

"It looks like Chinese!"

Ron jabbed an accusing finger at one of the dots prowling on the fourth floor. The dot didn't respond.

"And why are there so many of them? Are there other guards hidden in the castle?" asked Harry and followed a dot as it wandered from a bathroom and came across the dot called Seamus Finch-Fletchley.

"No, look… Those dots all carry the same name. How is that possible?" asked Ron.

"Maybe the map is wrong?" guessed Hermione, but Harry shook his head.

"It's never been wrong before… So that means that there are at least thirty guards. All with the same name, somehow."

"Look!" Ron smashed his finger against the map, obscuring a dot from view. "That guy just disappeared."

Hermione looked at Ron and replied in a tired voice: "I think I should force you to read _Hogwarts: a history_, won't I? You can't-"

"Apparate or disapparate on Hogwarts grounds, I know," Ron finished for her, but tapped at the map to illustrate his point. "I was watching this guy, and 'poof', he's gone the way of the dinosaurs. I don't know of any rooms that hide you from the map on the fifth floor, do you?"

Harry and Hermione shook their heads and kept searching for the illustrious disappeared guard.

"Maybe he got on a broom and flew off real fast?" suggested Harry, but Ron shook his head.

"In the middle of the hallway? And he didn't move away, he just … disappeared."

"These guards are getting weirder and weirder," commented Hermione and then yelped. She pointed at the map where Harry had taken his attention off for a second to look Ron in the eye, but he regretted that move when Hermione said: "They're all gone!"

She was right. All thirty dots with weird names hovering above them had disappeared into thin air. The dots had been all over the grounds and in the castle, but now they were all gone.

"Wait, here's one." Ron tapped a room on the third floor, at the end of a corridor. The guard-dot stood (or sat) still. The other guard was in the room as well, though he moved around.

"Hey, isn't that the room where Fluffy lived? You know, in our first year?" said Hermione.

"As if I'm ever gonna forget those teeth," muttered Ron distractedly. "Must be where they're sleeping."

"Good to know. Maybe we can pay them a visit some day. I mean, if _Alohomora_ worked once on that door, chances are that it'll work again, right?" Harry asked in a hopeful tone, and tried to ignore Hermione's headshake.

"Have you _seen_ their wandless magic? Who knows what they've done to that door."

"True that, 'Mione. I don't fancy getting caught in a trap," added Ron, shaking his head. "Though I'd like to know how exactly he can make thirty copies of himself. I've never heard of a spell like that."

He stared at Hermione with little subtlety, and she got the hint.

"I need to go -"

"To the library," Ron and Harry finished Hermione's sentence together. Harry deactivated the map and rolled up the precious parchment before joining his friends in their trek to the all-knowing archive.

Luckily the library was virtually deserted. Harry, Ron and Hermione started slugging through some potion- and spell books and Hermione soon found what they were looking for, in a book called '_Impossible potions; why you shouldn't attempt them because it'll kill or at the very least incapacitate you. So don't even think about it._'

"There _is_ a potion with which you can create multiple bodies... But it's very, very..." Her eyes dropped lower on the page, "very complicated. Says here you need the blood of a pregnant centaur, a Lethifold's cloak, and two gallons of Lobalug venom. And that's the easy ingredients."

"Any chance they've made some in the past and are using it now?" offered Harry, but Hermione shook her head as she read passages from the page.

"Extreme risk... maximum of three bodies... sustainable up to 24 hours... I don't think this is what we're looking for."

"Unless the guy is either mad or extremely strong," answered Ron, but Hermione gave him a Look.

"And has taken about ten years to collect enough ingredients to brew enough to last him a year?"

"That's true... So, any other explanations?"

The trio dove back into the books, but after looking for an hour they gave up. Not one book even mentioned creating multiple bodies. They whispered amongst themselves, careful not to alert Madam Pince.

"So we've got thirty guards with the same name, disappearing at once from all over Hogwarts," Harry summed up, and Ron made a wild guess.

"Polyjuice potion maybe?"

"Only a madman would do that every hour of every day," whispered Hermione. "And then there's still the problem of the thirty bodies."

Ron hesitated, before slowly saying: "Maybe he cast _Imperio_ on thirty people..."

"All with the same name? And where does he leave the bodies during the day, stuff them in an Unmapped broom closet?" said Hermione.

"It was just a suggestion!"

Ron defended himself, but his ears went red and he sulked for the next five minutes. They continued throwing theories and ideas around, but every one of them got shot down by one of the others. Even Hermione couldn't come up with a plausible theory, so they gave up their book search after Madam Pince chased them out of the library for talking too much.

"We _will_ get to the bottom of this," promised Hermione, and Harry and Ron looked at each other. Poor guards, they had no idea what they were in for with a determined witch on their tail.

* * *

"No more room at the staff table, my ass," said Naruto as he sat down at one of the long tables. The students surrounding them looked at them with big eyes.

"Shut up and eat," replied Sasuke as he seated himself across from Naruto.

"You're Birdfoot, right?" asked Naruto of a bulky lad with black hair. He looked at Naruto in puzzlement for a few seconds, and then something seemed to click.

"You mean _Ravenclaw_?"

Naruto nodded as he helped himself to some potatoes. "Yeah, that's it. Ravenclaw."

Meanwhile Sasuke filled his plate with an assortment of meat and vegetables. Sadly there was no rice at this part of the table, so he settled for potatoes. It was annoying to sit between the students, but Sasuke had no idea where the kitchen was, so he couldn't snatch food from there and be done with it.

Eating in their room was another option, but by the time they got there the food would be cold. They had tried. And with no means of cooking other than a _katon jutsu _[1], they ate between the students.

"Hey, hey," poked Naruto verbally at the same bulky boy. "What is that?"

He pointed at a pudding of some sort, which quivered every time someone hit the table. Which meant that it existed in perpetual motion.

"That's pudding," replied the boy. Naruto processed that for a second and then pointed at another dish, some kind of long vegetable with a scruffy end, covered in cheese-sauce and with slices of ham underneath.

"Asparagus," said the boy. He seemed to have forgotten about his own food, as he replied every time Naruto pointed at a dish and asked a question about it. Sasuke wasn't sure Naruto got all of the boy's answers, but the most important thing was that Naruto socialized with someone other than Sasuke. It was nice to eat dinner in peace. The Ravenclaws were either too scared to ask him anything, or too focused on filling their own bellies.

After a while the boy had named every dish in pointing-range and finally Naruto focused on his own dinner. He grabbed the fork and experimentally stabbed a potato with it, fingers clenched around it as if it were a kunai.

Sasuke had finished his dinner by now and started to grow annoyed by the hold-up Naruto created.

"No, you idiot," he finally admonished. "You don't stab with it. You hold it like a brush."

Sasuke demonstrated the appropriate hold and Naruto copied it, but managed to let his fork clatter onto his plate.

"Sorry, sorry," he said as he picked it up and tried his own kunai-way again. He used it more like a scoop than like a fork.

"Like. a. brush," said Sasuke between clenched teeth. His teammate truly had no idea how annoying he was at times. If Sakura were here, she'd have bopped him on the head three times already to force him to eat with good manners.

Which wasn't such a bad idea, actually. So Sasuke bopped Naruto on the head.

"Eat right or I'll punch you," he threatened. Not as eloquent as Sakura's rants, but it'd do. The next second he dodged a flying fork.

"Oops, my hand slipped."

Sasuke couldn't remember Naruto ever throwing forks or other pointy objects at Sakura. The students around them had gone dead quiet, and Sasuke was highly aware of that unpleasant sensation.

"Next time: get some chopsticks," said Sasuke and got up. Naruto vaguely waved at him and continued stabbing his food with a borrowed fork.

"Idiot," said Sasuke under his breath and left as quickly as possible. He didn't want to be in the vicinity when Naruto had to figure out how to eat pudding.

* * *

In a castle as huge as Hogwarts, it was easy to find a hiding place.

Tons of dark corners littered the hallways, mysterious broom closets appeared out of thin air and finding hidden shortcuts was a valid pastime. Sometimes Hermione went weeks without ever running into the same person twice.

Which made locating one of the thirty mysterious guards all the more aggravating.

"I give up!" cried Ron, and stuffed the Marauder's map into Hermione's hands. "Even if there are thirty of them, they disappear the second we turn up!"

A petite girl from Hufflepuff ran into the hallway and nimbly dodged out of Ron's way, her feet scurrying on the marble. Without even acknowledging any of them the girl disappeared around the next corridor.

"Maybe they're Kameoflaged," suggested Hermione. She studied the map intently, her eyes flitting back and forth across the parchment.

"Camouflaged, hidden," she elaborated on Harry's behalf. He made an acknowledging sound.

"Like those army guys, with green paint and sticks on their helmets."

"Great, so we have to look for blonde guys with green war-paint?" called Ron sarcastically from a distance, and once again threw his hands up into the air and finally left, taking his annoyance with him. Hermione wanted to figure this out, and Harry possessed a lot more patience than Ron. They'd see him at dinner, and hopefully he'd be in a better mood by then.

"Look, if we turn back and take this staircase to the sixth floor, we could locate the one who's hanging out near the Ancient Runes classroom," said Hermione and pointed at the map where a sole dot wandered around in the corridor. The map showed no students in the classroom, though Ms. Babbling's dot, the Ancient Runes teacher, stood in the tiny office connected to the classroom.

When Harry consented Hermione rolled up the map and set off at a brisk pace, heading for the staircase.

But when they arrived at the Ancient Runes classroom, there was no guard in sight. As they walked up and down the corridor Hermione swore the suit of armor standing in the corridor looked at them, but every time she looked back at it, it stared straight ahead.

"According to the map he should be right_ there_," said Hermione as she once again took it out and studied it. The dot was exactly where the suit of armor stood. An idea jumped up and down in her head and slowly she approached the suit of armor, wand at the ready.

She didn't know what would happen, but she wanted to try something before she gave up. Carefully, wary of any movement from the suit of armor, she poked it with her wand.

Nothing happened.

"Finite incantatem," she said.

Nothing continued to happen.

A loud bang behind her made her jump and she bumped into the suit of armor, but it didn't budge.

"What are you kids doing?" asked ms. Babbling suspiciously as she appeared in the door opening, but her face brightened when she spotted Hermione.

"Why, ms. Granger, did you have a question about the rune-homework?"

Hermione was speechless for a second and felt a blush spreading across her cheeks, but before she could open her mouth with a fake question about the latest homework (which she'd finished this morning), Harry told the teacher a different lie.

"No, sorry, I had to go to the bathroom. Hermione thought someone had messed with the suit of armor, so she was just looking at it."

Ms. Babbling nodded at the explanation, but then her eyes fell on the suit of armor.

"That's new... it wasn't there when I returned from lunch..."

Hermione shared a look with Harry, but for now they had to get the teacher off their back.

"I heard they move around sometimes," tried Harry, and Hermione nodded along with him. As a matter of fact, the suits of armor formed an integral part of Hogwarts' ancient defense system, but of course Harry didn't know that. He hadn't read _Hogwarts: an history_.

Ms. Babbling looked at the suit of armor for a few more seconds, and then shrugged.

"It certainly spruces up the corridor. I'm afraid I must return to grading the tests-"

"How'd I do?"

The words left Hermione's mouth before she'd even thought of them. Ms. Babbling smiled at her.

"Full marks, my dear. Excellent work."

Hermione couldn't contain the small squeak of joy at the news. She'd been _so_ sure she'd messed up on at least one rune. But once again her nightmare hadn't come true.

"Thank you, ms. Babbling. I'll see you in two days," said Hermione, and started walking away, towards the men's lavatory. Harry waved at the witch and followed Hermione.

"Wait for it, wait for it..." he chanted, and when the classroom door slammed to a close they turned around at the same time.

The suit of armor was gone.

"What the-" cried Harry, but Hermione shushed him before ms. Babbling would bang the door open once more.

"So it _was_ the guard," mused Hermione. "He must be adept at using Transfiguration spells," she continued.

"But I didn't hear him say anything," said Harry.

"Non-verbal spells, Harry. And we already know he can run real fast, so I think that's how he got away."

"No footsteps," Harry pointed out. Hermione switched her brilliant mind on a different track.

"Maybe he jumped. Or he cast a Silencio-charm. Either way, we know that the map _can_ be trusted. We just have to look real close at it."

Harry nodded and took the map from Hermione, his eyes roving over the parchment, looking for their next victim. "Wanna go chase down guards until dinner?"

Hermione's eyes started to sparkle. "Why not? Maybe we can 'catch' one," she joked, and laughing they set off towards the fifth floor, where another one of the dots walked by the statue of Boris the Bewildered.

* * *

Sasuke tossed and turned on his bed, but tonight he just couldn't sleep.

Thoughts kept roaring through his head, banging on every surface they came across. Half-formed plans and ideas jumped around and tangoed with his usual worries. How much would this year affect his training, had his brother also learned magic, what spells could he use against his brother, the usual.

Finally he laid on his back, his hands above his head. Moonlight shone into the room and onto Naruto's bed, but his idiot teammate wasn't bothered by it. He was fast asleep and snoring softly, one hand dangling over the edge of the mattress.

Sasuke debated whether he should get out and do something productive, but his body needed the rest after the training he had put it through today. His mind wouldn't let him, however.

The ceiling was interesting to watch, for once. Dozens of claw marks littered the ceiling and a few dozen scorch marks joined the fray. Apparently this room had been used before as a laboratory of some kind. The clean-up crew had neglected the ceiling and thus Sasuke spent a few minutes staring at the variety of marks and scorches, trying to spot patterns in it.

His focus shifted to the door when it opened and he heard voices. High voices accompanied the torch light streaming through the tiny gap.

"Shush, this be the guards room," whispered one voice. A second voice answered.

"I knows that, Flexy. I've seens the guards before."

The moment two figures entered the room Sasuke acted. Without hesitation he grabbed two kunai, sprinted towards the figures and slammed them against the wall. The creatures were so small he could pin them to the wall with one arm.

"Who are you and what are you doing here," he demanded. In the torchlight he saw peculiar creatures, about one foot tall with big eyes and floppy ears. Their big eyes were widened in fear and the cleaning supplies they had been holding dropped to the floor.

"We be house-elves," said the one on the left, "we be cleaning Hogwarts."

"Please don't kills us," squeaked the other one.

Sasuke's eyes flew from left to right to left and watched for any signs of lying on the weird creatures' faces. He found genuine terror.

"Whassamatter?" called a hoarse Naruto from his bed. Sasuke didn't let his eyes wander towards him, but he imagined his teammate sitting up, rubbing his eyes.

"Intruders," said Sasuke, and immediately the blonde was by his side, kunai in hand. Sasuke wished he'd be that quick to rouse every morning.

"Hideki," said Naruto slowly, "those aren't intruders. Those are those weird creatures down by the Great Hall. Wrinkly guys going 'yes, master' all the time."

The two beings nodded viciously and for the first time Sasuke looked at his teammate.

"We ares not intruders, sir!"

"We be cleaning your room, sirs!"

The creatures squirmed again and Sasuke's gaze snapped back.

"Don't move," he warned. Naruto tugged at Sasuke's arms.

"Let them go, idiot! They're not our enemies. They're harmless and real nice. Trust me."

A few of the situations where Naruto had sworn that the unknowns were friendly and turned out to be enemies swirled through Sasuke's mind, but after a while you learned to rely on your gut instinct. And his gut told him that these creatures had never seen combat and were genuinely in their room to clean it.

Slowly Sasuke lowered the creatures to the floor, and when their wrinkly feet hit the ground they twisted out of his loose hold.

"Thank you, sir!" chirped the one on the right, and the one on the left kept on nodding. Sasuke eyed them with a sneer on his face.

"You can clean," he said, "but never open that pack, or that chest."

He pointed at his personal belongings and the house-elves flinched.

"We'ds never does that, sir!" exclaimed one.

"Now get out and clean when we're not sleeping or you might get killed for real," said Sasuke as he pointed at the door. The elves scampered out, leaving behind the smell of terror sweat and their cleaning supplies.

"Nice," said Naruto sarcastically. "Now that you've scared them shitless, do you want to go out and terrorize the students as well?"

"They were sneaking into our room," defended Sasuke. He walked back to his bed and lay down with his back to Naruto.

"They're harmless, bastard, and now they might never clean our room again."

Sasuke tuned out Naruto's whining, feigning sleep. Stupid creatures, next time one of them might find itself on the wrong end of a Chidori. And then he'd never get Naruto off his back.

In time, Naruto's whines died down and Sasuke could finally get back to a non-house-elf disturbed sleep.

* * *

Under the pretext of 'studying foreign culture' Sasuke installed himself at the back of the classroom one September morning. The petite professor didn't mind at all and was enthusiastic towards the first years, like the first years were enthusiastic in their spells.

Sasuke kept his Sharingan open, eager for anything useful he could learn. He saw enough demonstrations of useful magic that he wanted to learn at least some spells, for when he returned to Konoha.

But just because he was able to see the spells didn't mean that he could perform them. His Sharingan had its limits, and a lot seemed to depend on the correct pronunciation and flicks of the wrist.

After the lesson was over Sasuke filed out along with the first years. Naruto and his bunshins [2] patrolled the grounds, which left him free to do some research on his own. The library was amazing, along with the many books it contained. He gazed at hundreds of books dealing with charms and hexes and jinxes and curses, all of which made his head spin. What exactly was the difference and why did it matter?

But Sasuke wasn't one to back down from a challenge. According to the raised hair on his neck the librarian kept her sharp eyes pinned on him, and she only reluctantly let him borrow 'The beginner's guide to Charms'. But he now knew where to begin.

Several hours later Sasuke heard Naruto's footsteps approach and five seconds later the door to their room was thrown open.

"Missed me?" called Naruto out to Sasuke, but he didn't reply. He wanted to practice charms, but now he could do so on a live body here. Sasuke focused on channeling chakra to his hands and flicked the wand just so...

"Flipendo!"

Yellow streams flew out of the tip of the wand towards Naruto and made him take a step back. It had worked, but it looked a lot weaker than Sasuke had hoped.

"What the hell was that?" asked Naruto as he put his hands on his chest as if to check for any hidden ropes.

"Magic, idiot," Sasuke said and showed his teammate the cover of his book. Naruto stepped inside, closed the door and took off his mask before ticking off on his fingers:

"Why, how and since when do you know magic?"

"Because it can be useful, by using my chakra, since this morning."

"Congratulations. What is that spell called, 'the stumbling spell'?"

Sasuke activated his Sharingan and buried his nose in the book again. So much to learn, so little time to waste on his idiotic teammate. Though he dignified Naruto with a reply:

"Go bother someone who cares. I can perform spells, and I've yet to see you even touch your wand."

In answer Naruto pulled his wand from the pouch on his leg and waved it around. Sparks spewed from its tip.

"I _so_ have my wand with me. I just... don't find it useful, that's all. It keeps sparking whenever I touch it. I've already burned a hole in my pouch."

Sasuke resisted the urge to throw his book at Naruto. How did he not see the usefulness of magic? True, it might be hard to master, what with the precise chakra control, but if Sasuke kept at it long enough, he might learn some useful spells this year.

Even if it took way too long to mold his chakra, remember the incantation and flick the wand just so. Sasuke couldn't see himself performing these spells in a battle. Jutsu were much more straightforward and easy to master than these fickle spells. At least with jutsu if you screwed up a hand seal, the end results didn't blow up in your face (usually).

* * *

With the speed borne of self-preservation, Sasuke kicked open the door to the bathroom, wrangling a surprised cry from his teammate. Luckily the idiot was in the midst of bathing, so all Sasuke had to do was stick his head in the filled tub.

"What the hell, Sasuke?"

Even with his head in the water, Sasuke could make out what Naruto yelled.

"Get your head out of there!"

Sasuke decided that the goal had been accomplished and he lifted his head from the water. Water dripped unpleasantly from his bangs, but nonetheless he scowled at his teammate. He tried to keep eye contact and not let his eyes wander, because he realized that his teammate was naked. And he had stuck his head in between Naruto's legs, freaking the blonde out. Frankly, Sasuke was surprised that a kunai hadn't whizzed past his face yet. Then again, not everybody was as paranoid as him, keeping his weapons into reach, even when bathing.

With disdaining "che", Sasuke made to get up, but Naruto grabbed his shirt.

"I don't swing that way! And since when do you? I'm your teammate, I'm supposed to know things like that!"

Naruto's loud voice echoed around the bathroom, but Sasuke forced himself not to flinch and keep his eyes onto Naruto's face.

"I needed some water," Sasuke said in a calm voice, trying to pull away from the death grip on his shirt. But Naruto stubbornly held on.

"And no, I don't 'swing that way'," conceded Sasuke with a sigh. Naruto wasn't done playing Twenty Questions, though.

"Why..." the next words died on Naruto's lips when his eyes wandered from looking Sasuke in the eye to looking at Sasuke's hair.

"Why is your hair lopsided?"

Somewhat alarmed, Sasuke felt his hair. And sure enough, some of his spikes were gone, no doubt making his hair appear lopsided. Naruto's face morphed from indignated anger to realization.

"You were experimenting with fire spells, right? And then you stormed in here and..."

Sasuke sighed as his teammate came to a conclusion. He'd hear about this borked magic for a while to come.

"Your hair caught on fire, didn't it?"

The last heir of the Uchihas remained silent, but he knew that was all his teammate needed to know. Naruto's realization turned to full-blown laughter, and Sasuke was finally able to yank himself free. He got up and turned his back to Naruto, but nevertheless a blush appeared on his pale cheeks.

"Shut up, as if you've never done anything-" Sasuke wanted to say 'stupid', but that'd only spur Naruto on. So he repeated "shut up" and stalked out of the bathroom. Naruto kept on laughing.

* * *

[1] Fireball jutsu

[2] Clones


	4. Talks and demonstrations

**A/N:** Welcome to the first real example of what I've dubbed 'Naruto-English'. You'll notice that his English is mangled, but hopefully not beyond recognition. If so: please tell me.

I've rewritten Naruto's lines often to best reflect the hard and confusing parts of English from an outsider's point of view, based on my own experience with learning the language.

* * *

"Interesting," Sasuke murmured softly. Naruto turned over on his bed and asked in a voice laced with the remnants of sleep: "What's interesting?"

Sasuke, never one to lose his cool, flipped a page to disguise his surprise at hearing Naruto's voice. How could he have missed the awakening of That Loud Yellow Idiot?

"Wands are interesting," he replied curtly and flipped another page. Reading with the Sharingan meant a significant increase in reading speed, but it quickly tired him out. Still, since there was a huge library at his disposal, Sasuke felt he should at read as much as he could. Every scrap of intel might save a life later.

"Wands are just sticks with a chakra-enhancing center. So?"

"As can be expected from you, you're wrong."

"Your _face_ is wrong."

Naruto stretched out underneath the covers, but it didn't look like he was getting up any time soon. And since Sasuke had a 'captive' audience anyhow…

"They're sticks which enable wizards to use their chakra coils. They're unique to the user. Furthermore, a wizard's chakra coils are unbalanced until he finds a wand which fits. Without a wand, the 'magic' pressure builds up and lashes out at unexpected times, or when a wizard is in grave danger."

Naruto managed to raise his head from the bed to stare at Sasuke incredulously. "Wait, what? So an untrained wizard's coils are screwed up, until they touch their magic stick? Then they balance themselves out?"

"Yes, sort of. I've got a diagram right here, but it's filled with more words than you've read your entire life."

That got Sasuke a rude gesture, but Naruto apparently still didn't feel like getting up, because he asked: "So if a wizard never touches a proper stick…"

"His coils won't balance, and it'd probably kill or at the least disable the wizard."

Naruto blinked twice at that. "That's messed up. Why won't they train their kids to balance their coils?"

Sasuke shrugged, keeping his eyes on the book. "Who knows. Maybe it's tradition, maybe separating the strong from the weak."

"Or," Naruto added after some thought, "they don't know about chakra coils. They keep calling our jutsu 'wandless magic' all the time. Have you come across any descriptions of coils, booknerd?"

"No."

Sasuke kept his answer short. Maybe Naruto was on to something. He'd have to visit the library later on to check some more books, because he'd finished this one. With a sigh he closed it and chucked it at Naruto's head. "Get up, now that you're awake we might as well get an early breakfast."

His teammate rubbed his head where the book had hit him and Sasuke ducked a retaliation … something which slowly sailed past his head and soundlessly fell on the floor.

"Yes, your sleeping cap is utterly threatening," said Sasuke in a monotone.

"Shut up. You stole my kunai, so now suffer the wrath of my sleeping cap." Naruto shook a fist at Sasuke, who turned around and headed for the door.

"Dress yourself and meet me in the Great Hall in ten."

No use wasting time on waiting for his teammate when instead he could check out a new book in the library. He quickly stepped outside and closed the door just in time. Several 'thunks' resounded from the door. Looks like Naruto found his shuriken back.

* * *

Quite a lot of students turned up for duelling class. Naruto suspected that that number would go down once they saw that this duelling class would be... harder than what they were used to. He hoped that the teachers would let them continue teaching the class, because it broke the monotony of guarding. Though he and Sasuke sparred, teaching these kids some moves (and learning some moves himself) would further help expel his pent-up energy.

Once Naruto heard the far-away clock bang one, two, three times, he climbed on top of the small podium next to the staff table and took a deep breath. Sasuke had written down an opening speech, and Naruto had memorized it to the best of his abilities. He didn't understand all the words that came out of his mouth, and he hoped he wouldn't have to improvise too much. He opened his arms wide in a welcome gesture.

"Welcome to duelling class. I am Fox and that is Crow."

Any students still whispering quieted down, and Naruto looked at the different uniforms the students wore. There were a great deal of red-hems around, but some blue-hems and yellow-hems had joined the fray. The students with green-hemmed robes stuck together near Sasuke's position, but there were more blue-hems than green-hems.

"We have been asked to teach dueling to any interested. I am happy that you're here, and we are going to teach you lots of things."

A hand rose up in the crowd, the owner of the hand was a small girl from Hufflepuff. Naruto gestured towards her, and her high-pitched voice sounded enthusiastic. "Are you going to teach us wandless magic?"

Naruto's brain drew a blank on that word. He glanced over at Sasuke, who cocked his head and rolled a shoulder. Although Naruto was anything but fluent in English, he understood Sasuke Language.

"Maybe."

The girl broke into a huge grin, and here and there the whispers restarted. They were quickly shushed when Naruto continued the carefully prepared welcome-speech.

"You learn spells with Defense Against the Dark Arts, yes?"

Some students nodded, but the younger ones shook their heads.

"We are not learn you spells, but we learn the syphical, no, physical duelling. Because-"

"You mean, fight like a muggle?" a boy in blue-hemmed robes called out. His face scrunched up in contempt.

Once again Sasuke came to Naruto's rescue. He gestured the signal for 'civilian'.

"No, other," said Naruto. He struggled to explain it with his limited vocabulary. The silence only served to further confuse the students, and if the boy could wear pictograms, he'd have question marks dancing above his head like a polka on traditional Czech nights.

"So you're saying that you won't teach us any spells, you'll just put up a punching bag and tell us to have a go at it?"

Naruto thought about that for a second, and then nodded. Now the boy grew mad, and he made grand gestures with his arms as he ranted.

"Hello? This is a wizarding school! We're supposed to learn how to throw spells, not punches. What's the use of learning how to punch like a mug-"

Like any good shinobi, Naruto used the boy's distraction with his impromptu speech to slip closer. With a quick motion he circled around him and he held one of his dulled kunai an inch from the boy's throat. With his other hand he snatched the wand from the boy's pocket. In three seconds the boy was dead, if this was a real fight.

"Spell me," challenged Naruto softly, and the boy paled, making his freckles more pronounced. Around them students gasped at this display of shinobi prowess and Naruto heard some guys exclaim "cool!"

"How'd you..." he muttered, and felt for his wand. When he encountered empty space, Naruto chuckled before raising his voice to address the rest of the students. Sasuke had anticipated this response from the students, so Naruto had memorized some phrases to use.

"I tell you, you cannot use spells when your wand gone is, or I hold your arm. That is why we learn you 'fight like a muggle'. Because Dark wizards do not expect you to punch them in the face."

That was one sentence Naruto had laughed at, so he remembered it well. Naruto let the boy step out of his deadly embrace and gave him his wand back. Red replaced the white in the boy's face, and he didn't look Naruto in the eye. After twirling the kunai a few times Naruto stuffed it back into the appropriate pouch.

"If you do not want this, leave. You stay: you must turn up every duelling class. If you don't, we will cut dead- deduct points from your House."

Some kids immediately left, but the majority stayed. One boy raised his hand, and Naruto gestured for him to speak. "Can you tell us what you're going to cover in this course?"

Sasuke answered that question. Some students jerked, as if they had forgotten that he stood there. A typical Sasuke-trick, making himself invisible so he could study the crowd. Naruto had seen it a dozen times.

"No," said Sasuke.

The 'why' hung so heavily in the air that Naruto almost saw it written on the enchanted ceiling. Sasuke elaborated.

"Because life is not predictable. We have already told you we are going to teach you how to fight. We keep the rest a surprise. But we can tell you that we are going to teach you a lot. So, who stays?"

The boy nodded and stepped back. Four more kids left, but then the thinned crowd remained constant. Naruto recognized some faces, the special charge and his friends among them. Naruto had looked up some words to add to the speech, and he continued:

"Good. My lovely assistant will-"

Sasuke overruled Naruto with his voice, but some kids snickered nonetheless. "I will pass parchment and quills around. Write your name on it, so we can take attendance."

With some shuffling the students penned down their names and when Naruto got the parchments back he continued his speech.

"Good. Then we expect you on Saturday at 7 PM-"

"AM," corrected Sasuke. Naruto quickly amended his words to the horror of the students.

"7 AM in the Entrance Hall. On Saturday."

That caused a scene when a lot of the students cried out in outrage. Naruto heard things like "we deserve a lie-in!", "I'll barely get any sleep!", but the shinobi waited out the storm. When the worst had passed (or maybe they were in the eye of it), Naruto raised his voice to get their attention. He hoped he remembered the next part of the speech right.

"If you do not come, we deadcut house points. So sleep early, and you can sleep late on Sunday. Unless you want us to schedule it Saturday afternoon, when you have homework or Chess Club or… something."

Sasuke had written more, but he couldn't remember it for the life of him. But the last remark struck true, and a lot of clamor died down at once. Naruto clapped his hands together and announced: "Alright, let's begin the first lesson. Form lines so you can see what I'm doing."

"Right now? Can't we get changed first?" The same boy who had asked about the curriculum spoke up again, and again Sasuke replied.

"No."

Sasuke waited a beat before he elaborated. "You now wear normal clothes, right?" At a nod, Sasuke continued his lecture. "You don't know when you are going to fight. Maybe in your sleeping gear, your normal robes, or even naked. That happens."

Naruto stalled when Sasuke mentioned that particular night (and consequent fiasco).

"Chances are, that you wear normal robes. So no, don't change. Maybe you can wear the right clothes on Saturday. But for now: form a line."

The students obliged and pretty soon the Hall was filled up with bodies practicing stances and punches, with Naruto and Sasuke showing them how. After this warming-up, Naruto raised his voice again.

"Form pairs. But," Naruto had to raise his voice even further the get over the noise of voices calling out for a friend.

"Form with somebody from a different House."

At that announcement, so much protest broke loose Naruto wasn't able to raise his voice over. So he patiently waited until the worst of it died down, and then simply clapped twice in his hands.

"I do not joke. Go."

It took the kids way too long to form pairs, Naruto noted. They'd have to work on teamwork in the near future. But finally, each kid stood opposite of another, with a different kind of color on the hem. Some of them happily chatted with their partner, but most of them were quiet, fidgeting on the spot.

"We have warmed up, so I have holds to show you. Crow, come here."

He wanted to instruct these kids well, and for that, he needed a partner who knew the holds and wouldn't complain if Naruto accidentally hurt him. But Sasuke didn't agree with that philosophy, and for a few seconds Naruto felt sure he'd get a rude gesture and then his authority would shatter. But Sasuke complied, for once, and Naruto felt his heart swell. It was a small gesture, sure, but coming from Sasuke, it meant a lot in terms of friendship.

"If you are attacked and he grabs by the throat," Naruto gestured for Sasuke to do that, "break out with two things: hit his eyes, or do this."

Naruto forced his hands upwards between Sasuke's arms, and then counterattacked by slapping him on the ears.

"Or punch him in the face," finished Naruto.

After demonstrating the move a few times, he set the pairs to work. The result was ... abominable, at best. The kids weren't working together, and if they practiced holds, their stance and posture was severely lacking. Here and there some kids had success, with one kid being exceptional. A tall guy with a dark skin wearing Gryffindor robes stood out to Naruto. His stance was decent, perhaps even good, and he didn't hesitate with his counterattack. He was maybe too enthusiastic, because his Ravenclaw partner cried out and clapped his hands to his ears.

Naruto slowly made his way to the guy, stopping here and there to give tips and demonstrate the hold once more. He saw that Sasuke made his way over to the guy too. They arrived at the pair at the same time, and confronted him.

"You train?" Naruto asked conversationally, and the kid nodded enthusiastically.

"Yeah, I've had karate lessons for pretty much all my life. Never thought I'd be able to practice it at Hogwarts, though."

"What's your name?" Sasuke asked, and the guy smiled.

"Dean Thomas. Gryffindor fourth year, if you want to be specific."

"We teach you maybe 'wandless magic," Naruto added in an enticing voice. Dean nodded as enthusiastically as before, a big grin on his face.

"That sounds great!"

"Excellent. You train your …"

"Stamina," finished Sasuke for him. "We can provide a training schedule."

Dean's grin grew even wider. "Thanks, I'll keep that in mind."

The two shinobi slunk off, targeting other kids who showed potential.

Sadly, there were few kids whom Naruto and Sasuke deemed worthy of hearing about the wandless magic offer. Even civilian kids in Konoha had better stamina than some of these, much to their shock. Naruto reasoned that they had been served too much great-tasting food, and since the students weren't encouraged to exercise more often, overweight students waddled through the corridors.

"Alright, next training. Form new pair with different house!" Naruto instructed, and patiently waited until the storm of protest cleared and every kid found him- or herself a new partner.

The rest of the two hours allotted to them had the two shinobi demonstrating, and then having the kids practice on each other while they roamed around and gave pointers. They topped it off with some nice cool down exercises and told the kids to gather 'round.

"I tell you the truth: we are surprised how... slow you are. Untrained. We are going better that, but you too must practice. If you learn wandless magic, you must train your body. Run on the lake, walk more stairs. That is important for wandless magic."

Some of the kids on the ... heftier side of the scale shifted and some muttered things under their breath, but Naruto plowed on. "We will see you next Saturday at 7 AM. You remember: if you don't come, you will lose points."

When the students noticed that was all Naruto had to say they dispersed. Dean Thomas motioned for his friend to leave without him and approached the shinobi.

"Got a moment?" he asked, and Naruto nodded.

"Is it alright with you if I start an exercise club? I've been thinking about it for some time, but now I've got a reason to. Some basic Muggle exercises, to keep up with my karate training and make sure I don't get out of shape myself."

Naruto hadn't understood everything, so Sasuke took over for him. "That sounds like a good plan. We can help create a ... plan, schedule, if you need one."

"A training regime? Thanks, it'd help a lot if you can mention what you'll be focusing on regarding training. General stamina, or do you need muscle mass as well for your brand of wandless magic?"

Naruto left Sasuke to explain their plan to Dean and started cleaning up the place. Time would tell if any student was able to learn some basic jutsu, though Naruto had high hopes for Dean Thomas.

* * *

Dumbledore regarded him from the other side of the desk, gazing upon him over his long, crooked nose. Naruto kept standing, the respectful stance of a chuunin, beaten into him by both Sakura and Sasuke. He could still hear their voices... 'A chuunin doesn't slouch in the presence of an employer. A chuunin doesn't put his hands in his pockets, yawns, and then smacks his lips. A chuunin does not, under any circumstance, pick his nose. A chuunin will never, ever in the history and future of Konoha, scratch his balls in public.'

These and other hard-won manners were fourth nature at best to Naruto, but he tried. Because if he didn't, he'd have Sakura on his ass fast as a lightning jutsu.

"Mr. Sato, please, take a seat. And you don't have to wear your mask in this office."

Naruto tried to seat himself all dignified, but it was hard sitting in a dignified way in a fluffy chair with a loud floral pattern. He took off his mask and placed in on the armrest, resisting the urge to rub his face.

This was the first time Naruto had been called to the employer's office alone, and he hoped the employer wouldn't complain too much about his methods. Or worse, request a transfer. Naruto wasn't keen on finding out how crazy he'd get when he couldn't blow off steam with Sasuke for a whole year. Dumbledore wore a Serious Look, and that usually didn't bode well for a hellion like Naruto.

"The reason I have called you to my office is ... curiosity, to be honest. But also concern. Are you familiar with the concept of Dark magic, mr. Sato?"

Naruto remembered that Sasuke had said something about it, and he knew that that professor with the weird blue eye taught a class on that subject. Or was that anti-Dark magic? It had to do with evil magic, anyhow. So he nodded.

"I ask this because," Dumbledore hesitated a second before bluntly saying: "you have traces of Dark magic on you. All the time."

Naruto knitted his brow in confusion. _On_ him? Dark ma-. Oh. Right. Automatically his hand hovered over his stomach, and by the look in Dumbledore's eyes the man had caught the movement. Naruto sighed, closed his eyes for a second, resigning himself to the fate of being sent back to Konoha. Who in their right mind would want a jinchuuriki [1] guarding a school full of children, after all? Especially one which was so centered on Light magic that the headmaster singled him out fast, and confronted him on the 'Dark magic' which surrounded him.

When he opened his eyes, he felt ready to face the employer.

"I'm a jinchuuriki, that's why I have traces Dark magic on me."

Naruto lifted his chin up, as if challenging Dumbledore to look away in disgust, get angry or ridicule him, or express any of the other myriad of negative reactions he's had poured over him all his life. What he didn't expect was the employer looking quizzical.

"Jinchuuriki? I like to think I'm fluent in your language, but I'm afraid I've never heard of that word before."

"Never heard of-" sputtered Naruto and then sagged. He'd have to explain to Dumbledore why he should be revolted by one of his guards by society's standards, and piece by piece the man would puzzle it all together, until he came to the inevitable conclusion that Naruto formed a threat to his school. But if the employer asked, the employee should answer, or risk a termination of the contract.

"A jinchuuriki is created when a powerful shinobi seals a demon into a human," Naruto explained in a monotone. "It depends on the seal, but the jinchuuriki often has access to a demon's chakra. Literally it means 'power of the human sacrifice', since a human life needs to be sacrificed to seal a demon away."

Dumbledore blinked once, expression neutral, and then said:

"I see. And you have access to a demon's chakra, if I may be so bold?"

Naruto briefly entertained the thought of lying and saying 'no', but if on this mission he'd need the Kyuubi's chakra, he was screwed. And it wouldn't do him any good anyway, since he already had Dark magic permeating his entire being, according to the employer. So he nodded and didn't look Dumbledore in the eye. But the man wasn't done yet.

"How long have you been a ... jinchuuriki?"

"Since the day I was born," Naruto answered truthfully, and for some reason Dumbledore looked sad.

"Jinchuuriki aren't treated well, are they?"

That was one question Naruto knew the answer to. He repressed the memories that came rushing in at the question, and silently shook his head. That made Dumbledore look even sadder.

"Just one more question, and then you're free to go," promised Dumbledore, and this time it was Naruto's turn to look quizzical. Did he mean 'free to go' as in 'continue your patrol', or did he mean 'free to leave this school ASAP'?

"This demon... do you have it under control?"

The man's gaze was razor-sharp, and Naruto felt like he was trapped in a genjutsu. He knew he'd have to answer truthfully, or suffer ... something bad. And for once, the truth was in his favor.

"Yes," he said in a authorative voice, and Dumbledore smiled and inclined his head at him.

"Very well. Thank you for taking the time to come by my office and satisfy an old man's curiosity. Good luck on your patrol."

The employer's tone was dismissive, but Naruto wasn't done with him. That's it? He finds out that one of his guards hosts a demon, and all he did was wish him luck on the patrol? Naruto felt the manners falling off him and for a second he was the brash 13-year old, determined to make the world acknowledge him.

"That's all? You're not gonna kick me out despite that I've got the fox inside me?"

Dumbledore kept on smiling.

"If you say you've got it under control, I trust you. Unless there's something I'm missing, I have no reason to request a transfer from Konoha."

The implied question caught Naruto off guard, and he wanted to tell the old man about the Kyuubi's influence on him. The struggle to maintain control of the fourth tail, the subconscious visits to the giant cage in times of dire need, the old demon's voice sometimes floating through his head when he called upon its chakra... All of it. But he bit his tongue to keep the urge in check. There was something unnatural about the urge. He'd tell people he was a jinchuuriki if he felt it was relevant, but only his teammates and his sensei knew of his love for raw meat. This old man looked trustworthy, but he wasn't a teammate, or that close to him. So he didn't need to know.

"No, I have it under control," Naruto assured him once more, and got up to leave. He put on his mask and walked to the door. With the opened door in his hand, he looked back at the old man sitting at the desk, who followed Naruto's exit with his eyes.

"Thanks."

Naruto said quickly and stepped onto the moving stairs. That went a lot better than he ever had hoped for.

* * *

Sasuke wasn't terribly chummy with the teachers at this weird school. Sure, he occasionally talked with them, and they answered his questions if he bothered to ask them, but other than that, they left each other alone. The teachers were happy they didn't have to get up at night and patrol the school anymore, but they didn't trust the shinobi yet either. But since Dumbledore trusted the pair, and they in turn trusted Dumbledore, the teachers treated Sasuke and Naruto with kindness.

One teacher was more than civil. And he was a teacher who reminded Sasuke the most of home.

Alastor Moody was as marked as any retired shinobi and carried the weight of constant vigilance with him. His no-nonsense outlook on life appealed to Sasuke, and he found himself striking up conversations with the man.

One night on the third week of their stay Sasuke was on patrol and walked past Moody's office when the door opened.

"Got a minute?" the man asked, and at Sasuke's nod gestured for him to come inside.

"I've been introducing the kids to the Unforgivable Curses in my class. Since you aren't familiar with this world, I'd like to invite you and your colleague to my next lesson. So you know what these Unforgivables look like, and what they can do to you."

"Thank you, we will come," said Sasuke.

* * *

"Why are _they_ here?"

The blonde kid jerked his thumb backwards, gesturing towards Sasuke and Naruto, who stood at the back of the classroom. Moody apparently heard the remark (Sasuke noted the man had sharp ears), because the next moment he cleared his throat to silence the already quiet class and start the lesson.

"As you can see, I've invited our guards to join this lesson, because it might one day save their lives, and yours as well. So pay attention, ms. Davis, and I won't have to give you detention for eating a Sugar Quill in class."

The girl in question dropped her candy in shock, picked it up and quickly stuffed it back into her bag. Moody gave an introductory speech on why he wanted to teach these curses to fourth years, and Sasuke agreed with the sentiment. Fighting dirty was also a way of fighting, whether it was with knives or with spells. These kids wouldn't be in this school forever, and the sooner they learnt to deal with the nasty side of magic, the better. It was easier to get over the shock of a survival situation (kill or be killed counted as survival in Sasuke's mind) when you got exposed to it more often.

The blonde kid seemed interested in this material when Moody probed the kids for answers.

"The Imperius Curse," he answered to Moody's first question, and he watched with rapt attention as Moody made a spider perform flea-circus worthy tricks. The pair of brick-faces laughed, but scowled when Moody scolded them.

With every curse the man demonstrated, Sasuke felt his stomach tighten. Magic could torture and kill with one blast? No defense against it? Next to him Naruto shifted uneasily and they shared a glance. Sasuke knew he'd have to step up his training and read way more books on magic if he wanted to create a solid defense against such vile curses. He needed to force Naruto to read some books as well, or risk getting his teammate killed.

The blonde kid knew the answers to all the questions, and Sasuke swore his face lit up in triumph when Moody demonstrated the Killing Curse. They had to look out for that kid. Though he wasn't the only one listening with rapt attention.

"Did the Dark Lord often use Crucio, professor?" asked a girl the size of a small bear, and she almost drooled. Moody frowned at the question, but nonetheless answered it.

"He used it when necessary, but often left the torturing of his victims over to his most trusted Death Eaters."

"Who invented the Killing Curse?" A boy wanted to know.

"We don't know, mr. Nott. It's been forbidden Dark Magic for a long time, but every spell was once discovered or invented. I can't imagine the man or woman had many friends, so his or her findings have either never been recorded or are lost in time."

When it appeared the class had asked the questions they wanted to know for now, Sasuke used the silence to ask a burning question of his own. "Is it possible to break the Imperius Curse?"

To Sasuke, the Imperius Curse was the most dangerous one of all. He knew he was able to withstand torture, and if you got killed there was no point in being tortured, but being controlled, _that_ was a nightmare.

Moody's eyes glittered, and all the kids in the class turned to look at Sasuke. From the looks on their faces he saw that some had forgotten they were also in the classroom.

"There is a way. You have to be strong-willed, but with your mind alone you can break free. I was going to save this for a lesson later in the curriculum, but since you've got double Defense Against the Dark Arts anyway... Please get out your wands out and stand on one side of the classroom."

The kids complied and Moody swept the desks to the other side with a single gesture. Sasuke and Naruto perked up. Having a way to defend himself against such a dangerous curse appealed to Sasuke.

"I will cast the curse on you one by one. Focus your thoughts and try to break free."

Moody called out a student's name and the boy stepped forward, shaking.

"_Imperio_!"

The boy's face relaxed at once and took on a dreamy expression. His eyes were vacant, but then he frowned. The next moment, however, he jumped on one of the desks and gave his best impression of a deranged monkey. Moody frowned and released the curse. The boy seemed puzzled as to why he stood on a desk, but then blushed as he realized why and quickly jumped down.

"Nice monkey, Nott!" called the blonde-haired kid and the boy blushed even fiercer while a girl patted his shoulder and whispered a question.

"What's it like?"

"Like there's a voice in your head, telling you what to do," the boy whispered back. Naruto elbowed Sasuke when he heard that statement.

"It's a good thing we've both got other voices in our heads already, huh?"

Sasuke wanted to elbow him back, but snorted softly instead. The idiot had a point though. Would his curse mark affect the curse? And what about the Kyuubi's influence on Naruto? Would that make it easier or harder to resist the curse?

Moody made every kid dance around at his command. Some resisted for a few seconds, but they all succumbed in the end. Some students nursed minor injuries when Moody lifted the curse and they realized they did things they weren't usually capable of, like juggling five textbooks. The poor kid somehow managed to let all five books bounce on his head when they inevitably came down.

When all the students had been humiliated enough (aka been subjected to the curse twice), Moody turned his attention to the shinobi. Sasuke stepped forward and nodded sharply. The man smirked at him and softly said: "_Imperio_."

Everything was right with the world all of a sudden. It was nice not having to worry about anything, because Moody was the Master and he knew what was best.

'_Why don't you take off your mask,_' commanded an unfamiliar voice in Sasuke's head. Why not, it was just a mask after all. His hand lifted to his face, but then he hesitated. Why should he take off his mask? He had no Master.

'_Go on, take off the mask. It's not hard._'

Orochimaru was the last idiot who wanted to be his Master, but the old snake pervert was dead and gone. He had no Master. He was a free shinobi.

'_I said: take off the mask._'

Despite the hazy fog which gripped his brain Sasuke saw the world in sharp contours. Vaguely he realized he had slipped into the Sharingan, and it helped him focus. This feeling... it was like a genjutsu. A strong, mind-controlling genjutsu, much like Ino's jutsu. But, as many enemies had found out, genjutsu was a Sharingan user's specialty.

'I'm not going to take off my mask,' Sasuke told the voice, and forced his hand down.

'_TAKE IT OFF!'_

It was the voice's last command, and Sasuke closed his eyes, took a deep breath and put his hands together in a release seal.

"Kai," he said calmly, and immediately the voice disappeared and the world rushed back. Moody smiled triumphantly and Sasuke smirked. He was still a master of genjutsu, be it magical or chakra based.

"And that, students, is how it's done. He has enough focus and discipline to dispel the curse and regain control of his body."

Sasuke inclined his head towards Moody. The teacher's spell had been powerful, but not powerful enough to deal with the Sharingan. He wondered how the teacher would fare against a Jinchuuriki.

Sure enough, Naruto stepped forward and Moody took a deep breath, focused and said: "_Imperio._"

From the outside Naruto didn't change much. His alert stance relaxed somewhat, sharpened, relaxed... It took a few seconds, but then the sharpened stance took over. With the mask on it was harder to read Naruto, though Sasuke read Naruto as easily as any book laid bare. Sasuke knew that inside Naruto's head a battle of two (or maybe three) voices took place, but Sasuke knew that Naruto was winning. The other kids had been dopey when the curse took effect, but Naruto stayed sharp. Or maybe that was shinobi training ingrained in his bones so deeply that even a mind-altering spell couldn't erase that.

It took five more seconds before anything happened. All of a sudden Moody grabbed at his head and stumbled backwards, while Naruto emitted a growl that wasn't entirely human. Sasuke couldn't see if Naruto's eyes were red, but he would bet his entire inherited fortune on it that they were.

"That's one way to break the curse." Moody smirked as he righted himself. The students looked from Naruto to Moody, puzzled expressions on their faces. Sasuke could simply interrogate Naruto later on, back in their room, but he knew that these students would start speculating. They had to be careful, not anybody growled animal sounds like Naruto.

The bell rang in the hallway and startled the students from their glancing and whispering. With much noise they gathered their bags and stampeded out of the room, leaving Moody alone with the shinobi.

"Excellent work, the both of you. I hope I have helped you deal with Dark magic better. Though if there's anything you need, don't hesitate to come by my office. We need to stick together, even in times of peace."

"Thank you for the offer," said Sasuke, and when Naruto had said "thanks" as well, they both left the room.

"Today was certainly ... interesting," muttered Naruto when they settled in for the night. "I saw that you beat it like it was genjutsu."

"Yeah," was all Sasuke said, which earned him a glare from Naruto. Sasuke wondered how Naruto had beaten the curse exactly, but damned if he let his teammate know that. Thankfully Naruto could still be as dense as a burned tire to Sasuke's thoughts and intentions and satisfied Sasuke's curiosity.

"I beat it because I've already got the Kyuubi in my head, telling me to do stuff. And he's a hell of a lot stronger than some wimpy spell. Kyuubi took offense at the other voice and threw it out so fast I think it broke the sound barrier."

"I noticed," Sasuke said in a dull voice and suppressed a smirk when Naruto chuckled at the deadpan comment.

"Aren't you perceptive. At least it's a relief that we can't be controlled that way."

Sasuke agreed with all his heart with that statement, but on the outside merely nodded, face blank. One less care in this world. Four million, two hundred and ninety seven thousand, eight hundred and twenty two to go.

* * *

[1] Demon host


	5. Duelling classes

**A/N: **Surprise, I've put ACTUAL PLOT DEVELOPMENT in this chapter. Yes, that warrants all-capitals. Enjoy!

* * *

The Saturday morning was cold and dew lay all over the place, soaking the students' robes and slowly creeping into their shoes. A lot of them had heeded the shinobi's advice regarding appropriate dress, so there were less swishy robes and more Muggle-like clothes in the motley crew.

The students were still tired though, and Seamus showed it by yawning and stretching. Some students hastily stuffed their faces with toast.

The guards faced the students, as proper as ever. Did those guys ever sleep, wondered Seamus.

"Good morning, students!" said Fox in a too chipper tone.

"G'd morning," grumbled several students back. Seamus could just _feel_ the heart-felt emotion.

"Today we begin with theory," said Fox, and got groans in response. He made an 'I know, I know'-wave with his hand and hastily added:

"Theory and demonstration, pay attention. This saves your life."

That got some better responses, but a alarmingly large percentage still looked like zombies. And they groaned like one too.

"I readed a book on duelling. OK, Crow did."

Fox whipped out a book from his robes and held it up high. '_Duelling: how to survive and preferably force non-survival onto the other_' read the title. Fox opened it on a bookmarked page and started to read out loud, but he took so long to even form the first sentence he gave up and handed the book to Seamus, who stood closest to Fox.

"Read this," said Fox and pointed at a paragraph. Seamus read the chapter title out loud. "'The rules of duelling'," began Seamus. "In the history of duelling, several rules have been enforced. The rules vary per duel, but there are two vital rules that can't be broken, or the duel is invalid. The duellists have to bow to each other, or otherwise tell the other participant that a duel is going to take place. There are agreed upon limits, so that each duel is equal.

The duellists have the possibility to appoint seconds, who can take over for the duellist if he or she is unable to continue the duel. Furthermore-"

"Thank you," interrupted Fox. Seamus handed the book back to him, and the guard put it back into his robes.

"The rules of duelling," he said, "are crap. Forget them. We found more duelling books in library, but you can't fight learning-, no, learn fighting from books."

Hermione made a protesting noise in her throat, because everything could learnt from books. Seamus saw her inner voice scream out: you merely had to search hard for the appropriate one. Crow paid her internal monologue no heed as he took over for Fox. It was a good thing Crow did, because Fox was sometimes hard to follow thanks to his limited language skills.

"In this class, we teach you how to _fight_, not how to duel. And more importantly: we teach you how to _win_ that fight. Because history won't remember how good you were with your wand. It'll remember who won.

So we don't do spells. You learn those at Defense Against the Dark Arts. We work on disarming techniques and hand-to-hand combat, for starters, like we showed you in the first lesson. Today, we're going to continue that lesson."

Seamus felt tendrils of cold air wrap around him and he wished they would hurry up.

"Tell me, what sports are there in this castle, besides this Quidditch sport?" asked Crow. Since he wasn't targeting anyone in particular with the question, Seamus answered.

"None."

That seemed to surprise the guards. "No sports? No surprise you're fat," said Fox.

The girls shot death glares, and Seamus saw several of them fingering their wands. The guards had better come up with a good reason for their accusation, or they'd face the wrath of a scorned witch.

"Ex-cuse me?" called out a big girl. She was already on the plump side. In fact, she was so far over the plump side she'd have to look for it with binoculars.

"Face it, you're so fat you can't even touch your own toes," said Crow in a calm voice. She huffed and puffed, but didn't dare hex him. Deep down she must have known she was overweight, but she couldn't work on it without proper guidance. Now she was going to get it, one way or another. Seamus felt sorry for her.

"Luckily for you, we have a training regime all set up," continued Crow. His bland tone made the words sound dry, and several students smiled. Some of them still had their panties in a knot from the 'you're fat!'-comment though.

"Hey, wait a sec! We walk around on the stairs all day long!" said a student.

Crow nodded. "Yes, you do walk more than average. But you make up for it by stuffing your face with pumpkin pie and scones."

The food at Hogwarts was delicious, dangerously so, Seamus had to concede.

"Yeah, well, I-" said the same student, but Crow cut him off.

"Will start this morning off by warming up. Do as I do so you won't get so much sore muscles tomorrow," said Crow, and lead them into an exercise. The students grumbled, but Fox was quick to say:

"Less talk, more walk."

As Crow made them do exercises, one student complained: "I still don't see how this is necessary."

"Tell me: is there a spell for losing weight?" asked Crow. The student pulled a thinking face before he answered.

"No. At least, not a Ministry-approved one."

"So you have to do this the hard way," said Crow. "But you'll feel better, you'll be healthier, and you'll look better. What more do you want?"

"Not sweating from places I didn't even know I could sweat from."

"Better this than gouging out part of your body with a botched illegal spell in order to lose weight."

"I'll take my chances," replied the student. Seamus laughed and continued the exercise. The guards made them stretch, run around, and Seamus kept up reasonably well. He saw other students go from a normal face to that of a tomato, an overripe one at that. Crow pushed them, hard, like a drill sergeant at boot camp in those Hollywood movies.

"Drop and give me twenty," said Crow. But Seamus wasn't the only one who likened this to boot camp, apparently, because a Slytherin complained:

"Twenty? We're not soldiers, y'know."

"No, you want to be duellists. Do you think duellists sit all day, whining about training? If you wish to survive, you must be able to run to the top of the hill without collapsing, otherwise your fat ass is dead."

Seamus wondered briefly where Crow had picked up phrases like 'fat ass' during his short stay at Hogwarts.

"Easy for you to say, you're thin as a stick," retorted the Slytherin.

"And how do you think we got these bodies?" said Crow. The Slytherin conceded.

"Yeah, yeah, dropping and giving twenty now."

All but one of the students got on the ground and started the push-ups. The only one left standing was another Slytherin student, who held something in her hands. She walked up to the guards and handed them a twenty pound note. Crow studied it before he asked: "Where did you get that?"

"Muggle studies," she shrugged.

"You know how muggles work out?" asked Crow, and Seamus didn't like the tone of his voice.

"No," said the Slytherin girl.

"By dropping and giving thirty."

"Aw, man!"

* * *

Crow let them do exercise for the duration of the entire Duelling class. Seamus wasn't looking forward to tomorrow, when he'd have sore muscles and aches from head to toe.

"What's the whole point of this?" a student wanted to know, something which Crow gladly answered.

"Since we want to focus on not being your PE teachers, we'll hand out a general training schedule for each of you. We expect you to follow it. It won't take up much of your time, but we _will_ notice it if you haven't been keeping to it. So when you come to these classes, you'll be fitter and better prepared for a duel."

"You have questions on the schedule? Talk to us," added Fox.

"What? But we've got homework!" said Ron indignantly.

"And I am _not_ running around the lake on my own," said the plump girl.

"Alright, let me put it this way," said Crow, and Seamus knew he wasn't going to like what was coming.

"Think of this as homework. We'll grade you, and if we think you've failed... we'll take points from your House."

The guards appeared deaf to the general cry of outrage, and Fox clapped in his hands.

"Time for the cooling down!" called Fox.

Seamus already had pity on the guards. Whenever students weren't happy, the road to mischievous magic was short and well-travelled.

* * *

Showering for a ninja was an everyday occurrence. If you trained, you sweated. If you fought, you sweated. If you got sent to the Hokage Tower in the sweltering heat because the Old Hag needed to have some documents dragged from one part of the tower to another, you sweated.

But at the end of the day, any shinobi who wasn't dead, injured or still working on the Hokage's demand because the shinobi in question had been a smart-ass towards the Old Hag, showered.

For some it was a ritual cleansing, to wash away night terrors and prepare for a fitful sleep. For others it was basic hygiene to not stink up the place and get yelled at. And for some other folk, showering was like sharpening weapons: necessary, but life would be better if weapons stayed sharp and bodies stayed clean.

* * *

"Now I know why Kakashi-sensei always kept us waiting," groaned Naruto into his pillow. The next second he groaned into the floor, and the second after that his mattress buried him.

"Get up," hissed Sasuke. His anger was lost on Naruto, who just registered that he lay on cold stone instead of his warm fluffy bed for some reason, and that the contents of said bed now occupied the formerly empty space on his back.

"Can't we pull a Kakashi?" asked Naruto, his voice muffled by the blankets and mattress.

"I'm getting some breakfast. When I come back, you're dressed, that bed is made, and you're somewhat coherent. Though that last part is difficult for you."

Naruto wanted to retort something, but the slamming door meant that the touchy shinobi already left the room.

"Your _duck-butt hair_ is difficult," he said to the dresser. Best comeback ever. With a sigh Naruto threw the mattress off him, got up and padded to the bathroom. Now he needed a hot shower to combat the cold that had seeped into his body from the floor.

While walking he took off his nightshirt and threw it into a corner. It took Naruto three tries to turn the knob to let hot water flow, because the grit from a heavy night's sleep made it hard to see.

The gurgling sound coming from the pipes meant that hot water was on its way, right about n-

"YAAGH!"

Cold water shot from the showerhead, and Naruto jumped out of the shower within seconds. But the damage was done. Cold water dripped down his body, numbing his skin where it made contact and making him shiver. He cursed Sasuke and his stupid cooling-down-spells that he had been practicing.

"Stupid Sasuke, making the water all cold to wake me up, so gonna get him back..."

Naruto kept muttering while dressing, all the way to walking towards the Great Hall. This early few students sat at the tables, though Naruto recognized a lot of the bleary-eyed faces shoveling breakfast into their mouths. They attended the Duelling class. They brightened when they recognized that Naruto looked as tired as the rest of them. Sasuke's demeanor was impeccable, even if he currently ate a bread roll and read the newspaper at the same time. The Kakashi-way of eating was tiresome but necessary in this mission.

Naruto sat down opposite to him and violently pulled the newspaper from his teammate's hands. Sasuke no doubt received some papercuts from that, but he remained as stoic as ever, especially in the presence of students.

"What," Naruto said in their native language, "were you thinking when you practiced those cooling-spells on our shower?"

Sasuke shrugged. "It was closest."

He tried to grab the paper, but Naruto held it out of his reach. "And you conveniently forgot that I had to shower this morning?"

"Your hygienic issues are your own."

Naruto's eye fell on the headline of the paper, which read _Harry Potter still misses his mother_. Huh. Never knew that before.

"Next time I'm in the shower, it better be hot water. Lots of it," threatened Naruto, like Sasuke had threatened him before. Sasuke made a successful grab for the paper.

"Fine," he conceded, and dove right back into the article he had been reading. Naruto knew he had made his point clear, and let his eyes rove over the tables in search of proper food instead of bread rolls.

* * *

"_Good mooooorning_ students!"

Naruto's greeting was as chipper as ever, now that he'd drank some coffee. The assembled students muttered some kind of greeting back, though Naruto thought he heard some '_kill you's_' in there as well.

"I'm happy to see that all you came to duelling club."

"Yeah, else you were gonna subtract points from our house," said one tall boy in the back. Naruto replied with a quick and hearty "shut up" before continuing with his carefully prepared speech. The tall boy looked offended, but didn't open his mouth again.

"As you know from the last club, we do 'Muggle' fighting. Today, we're going to disarming an enemy. Your enemies need a wand to do spells, so take the wand away, and your enemy is defs-, defeless-, can't defend."

The same guy Naruto insulted seconds before opened his mouth again. "I thought this is _Duelling_ class?" he asked in a smug voice, smirking at Naruto's confusion.

"So?"

"Well, in a _wizard's_ duel, you're only allowed to use spells."

Naruto sighed. He had hoped that the students got it by now, but apparently he needed to get the point across again.

"I'm not teaching how to duel, I'm teaching how to fight. And win. Because at the end of the fight, nobody sees if you use your wand or your hands, as long as you can tell about it. That's only important."

That wiped the guy's smirk from his face, and Naruto mentally shook himself to get back to the subject at hand. "Right. Disarming."

A young girl raised her hand. Naruto guessed she was a first-year student, but she wore the robes of Gryffindor, making her bold enough to ask the shinobi a question. He gestured for her to speak.

"But mr. Fox, there's a disarming spell, so maybe you won't have to use your hands. _Expelliarmus_, I think it's called."

"I'm sure there is. But think... wait, come here please."

Her boldness left her for a second, but then she squeezed between the students in front of her and walked up to Naruto.

"Thank you. What's your name?"

"Eliza," the girl replied.

"This spell, you know how, Eliza?"

Eliza nodded, and in one swift motion Naruto pulled his wand from his pouch. "Do it on me," he instructed, and waited for the girl to pull out her own wand. Her hands shook but her voice was steady. She pointed her wand at Naruto and said clearly: "Expelliarmus."

An invisible hand tugged Naruto's wand from his loose grip, but the moment the wand left Naruto's hand he stepped towards the girl. With precise but careful pressure at the right points of her hand he forced her to let go of her wand and snatched it out of mid-air with his other hand. He took a step back and pointed the girl's own wand at her. The whole process was done in two, maybe three seconds, leaving the students gaping and the girl cradling her hand. Her eyes grew big when she realized what had happened, but an involuntary smile crept unto her face.

"I see," she simply said, and held out her other hand. Naruto smiled back at her and gave her wand back.

"The pain goes gone in some minutes," he softly said to her. He raised his voice again to address the rest of the students. "Form pairs, once again from different houses, and we will give you a stick to practice with. Breaking wands is expensive."

After demonstrating a few disarming techniques with Sasuke, Naruto had them form pairs. The objections to forming pairs with a different house grew slimmer, and within minutes the courtyard was filled with practicing people. Sasuke and Naruto went round to correct the sometimes poor efforts. Thankfully a lot more students saw the use of this kind of disarming, and one boy became too vigorous and sprained Eliza's wrist when he yanked the stick from her hand in the worst way possible.

Tears sprung into her eyes, but she didn't cry out in pain. Naruto quickly approached the pair and had to shove the boisterous boy away, who apologized and hovered profusely.

"Are you alright?" asked Naruto as he took the girl's wrist in his hand. He wasn't a trained medic, but he knew about injuries from experience.

"I'll be fine," said Eliza, and she cradled her sprained wrist close to her body. "I'll just go to the Hospital Ward now."

Naruto nodded at her.

"Good idea. Together with you I have to go?"

She took a second longer to puzzle together his sentence into something coherent, but then she shook her head.

"No, I'll be fine, thank you."

She briskly turned around and disappeared between Hogwarts' grand doors. Naruto stared after her a second longer before he turned back to the lesson at hand. She was one to keep an eye on.

* * *

The day had once again been long, and Naruto looked forward to taking his hot shower. All day he felt he hadn't started off the day properly, but a hot shower would remedy that.

The rest of the Duelling class had gone off without a hitch, and the kids left more content with the lesson than the first time. If they managed to keep these kind of interesting lessons up, they'd have less complaining surrounding them at the dinner table.

And then they were back to the routine of patrolling, checking every nook and cranny for suspicious activities, and once again finding none. Well, some students out of class, a contraband Copy Quill and a first-year had somehow gotten stuck inside a suit of armor, but nothing into the realm of the unordinary.

Time for that hot shower. Sasuke was already asleep, leaving Naruto in charge of the bathroom. Steam rose up from the clattering water and fogged the bathroom up surprisingly quick. Naruto tested the water with his hand, and found it to be shy from scalding, just the way he liked it. Sort of like a miniature hot spring. All he needed was the giggles of girls in the next hot spring and a nose bleeding Ero-sennin by his side, and the scene would be complete.

Not wasting any more time, Naruto stepped under the shower and enjoyed it for a couple of seconds before setting to work scrubbing off the accumulated dirt. He rubbed so hard with his washcloth at a stubborn mysterious stain that he didn't notice the bathroom door opening and the tip of a wand peeking in. Over the clattering water he didn't hear the whispered spell.

But he did notice when the drops of water from the showerhead turned into a flash flood, pushing him down and filling the cubicle. Within seconds the cubicle overflowed and Naruto came with it, scrabbling over the edge and trying to keep hold of anything. But the water seemed to come out of the walls themselves, and a few more terrifying seconds Naruto was sure he'd drown.

Then the bathroom door submitted to the water pressure and the water flooded into the bedroom, once again dragging Naruto with it. This room was big enough for the water to disperse in, and the shinobi was left blinking stupidly against the wall. In the flood he had went ass over teakettle and he now lay upside down with his butt pointing upwards against the wall with his knees somewhere around his ears.

"What the hell!" shouted Naruto once he had drawn enough breath into his body to keep him alive.

"Do the world a favor and cover yourself," came the annoyed voice of Sasuke. Wait, Sasuke. The only one with access to the bathroom, and one who had been 'asleep' when Naruto occupied the bathroom.

Naruto righted himself and got up, staring at Sasuke. If the guy showed one twitch, one smirk, Naruto would kick his ass. Luckily, Sasuke couldn't help but boast that he was getting good at magic. "You said you wanted hot water. Lots of it."

He shrugged nonchalantly and looked away from Naruto. Reason enough, thought Naruto, and he leapt.

"SASUKE!"

* * *

It was something Naruto's subconscious had noticed, but it took a while for the primitive brain to poke at the higher brain to alert it something was off. The higher brain was more occupied with learning a new language and insulting Sasuke to notice the development.

But when it finally managed to gain its attention by sending chemicals and electric zaps hurtling through the pathways, otherwise known as 'thoughts and emotions', the higher brain caught on and sent a message to the speech center.

"How in the world have you learnt to speak without an accent?" asked Naruto. Sasuke ducked low as Naruto's blow sailed over his head and retaliated with a jab to the stomach. Naruto jumped aside in the nick of time and chopped down at Sasuke's hand, but the dreadful red eyes of the Sharingan had noticed the play of muscles in the arm and shoulder and Sasuke twirled (rather Sakura-like) out of the way.

"My Sharingan," answered Sasuke. Their spar was slow and lazy, their motions practiced like a professional athlete. The moves they threw onto the pile of the fight came as no surprise to either of them.

"Your Sharingan how?" asked Naruto. He knew it, the bastard was cheating! Naruto had gotten complaints that his speech sometimes was unintelligible, especially when excited. The English language was hard to master and even harder to pronounce.

"I can copy the movement of the larynx," said Sasuke. He jumped up, spun in the air and hit Naruto in the shoulder with a well-aimed kick. Naruto stumbled back and automatically his hand went to his shoulder. Sasuke took a step forward to keep within Naruto's reach and was ready when Naruto counter-attacked.

"So you look at a guy with your Sharingan, copy the way his tongue moves and you have no accent?"

"Yes."

"Cheat."

Sasuke snorted at the accusation. He did a back-flip to get out of Naruto's frenzied barrage of blows and threw a senbon needle in Naruto's general direction. He enjoyed the yelp when it pierced Naruto's arm, but his foot slipped on a patch of wet grass and before he knew it three Naruto's tackled him bodily to the ground.

"I don't cheat, I merely use my abilities to make myself intelligible to the students," said Sasuke calmly.

Naruto let the clones dissipate and kept Sasuke pinned to the ground with his sheer weight as he sat on Sasuke's stomach.

"You're not intelligible, you're impossible. So answer me this: where did you pick up the grammar and words?"

The smirk was aggravating enough for Naruto to punch Sasuke in the solar plexus. Too soft to cause damage, but hard enough to make Sasuke wince.

"I actually study, dimwit," retorted Sasuke. He wrenched his arms away from Naruto's weight and made a sign. He replaced his body with the traditional wooden log and before Naruto reacted Sasuke gripped his arms and threw him judo-style over his head before sitting on him.

"It's still cheating. I mean, how else d'you know _how_ to say everything when the spelling and how you say it aren't the same?" said Naruto in the same calm tone Sasuke had used earlier when Naruto was on the upper hand.

"Simple," replied Sasuke. He waited a few seconds when he felt Naruto's muscles tense, but the blonde boy below him didn't pull the same trick Sasuke had. "I am smarter than you."

That got him narrowed eyes and a warning growl, which Sasuke didn't heed. The next second a clone pulled Sasuke off Naruto by the back of his shirt and he heard something rip. Great, another shirt ruined thanks to the idiot who couldn't banter to save his life.

"Booknerd," said Naruto as he sprang to his feet.

"Idiot." Sasuke shook the clone off.

"Watch me teach you something," said Naruto.

Sasuke rolled his eyes and mouthed at the same time as Naruto: "A lesson in pain."

"You're getting predictable. Watch it, shinobi," taunted Sasuke. This was perhaps a worse insult than every name Sasuke had ever called him, and Naruto reacted accordingly. Their lazy spar grew serious, and Sasuke felt sweat drip down his back. It was too hot for an October afternoon.

Naruto ran full speed at Sasuke, jumped aside at the last second and whirled around Sasuke. The Sharingan eyes easily kept track of Naruto, and Sasuke didn't bother counter-attacking. He wondered what Naruto would do now that they had fallen out of their practiced routine. Maybe his Sharingan could pick up a new trick, because unlike what he'd said, he did think Naruto came up with brilliant, no, reasonably-smart plans off the top of his head.

Sasuke blocked whatever punch or kick Naruto threw at him, but he got driven back against the thick trunk of an ancient tree. He ducked a punch aimed at his cheek and flinched when the force of the blow splintered the trunk. So much for the ancient tree. One of the splinters got in his eye and immediately it started to water. This was bad. Any Sharingan-user (or, actually, one of the two remaining Sharingan-users) would tell you that keeping the eyes clear of dust and debris was vital if you wanted to survive in a fight.

Before he recovered Naruto was upon him and drove his knee into his stomach. A low blow, but Sasuke had seriously insulted Naruto. A rushing sound whirled behind his ears and Sasuke felt the wind grow sharper as Naruto used his signature move. A coil of horror descended upon Sasuke. Surely Naruto wouldn't tear his back apart for bantering?

But the rushing transformed into a muddy squelch. The second Sasuke breathed properly once more Naruto pushed him roughly backwards. An orange-clad clone sat on hands and knees behind Sasuke, tripping him. He braced himself for the impact, already lining up three moves to use when his back touched the ground, but the ground didn't come. Two seconds too late he finally hit the ground and looked up at the muddy walls. He lay in a pit about nine feet deep. The carved walls suggested that Naruto had used the Rasengan to create it.

"Calling me predictable, stupid Sasuke," said Naruto with a grin. Sasuke had too little room to work himself to his feet in one smooth move, so he did it in two. But that was one too many.

"Naruto, don't-" was all Sasuke managed to utter before the ground Naruto had dug up got shoved down into the hole, burying Sasuke alive. Sasuke spluttered angrily before he remembered that it'd be smart to keep as much air to himself without wasting it on deaf earth.

With a mental curse he worked himself upwards through the loose soil, keeping his hurt eyes closed against the grains. He already had mud and dirt in places he wouldn't mention in polite company, or any company at all. Stupid, unpredictable Naruto, burying him in a pit of mud to prove a point.

The second his head popped above ground a kunai was at his throat.

"Killed you," said Naruto triumphantly. Sasuke didn't flinch at the slight pressure of the steel, because it might pierce his artery and truly (albeit accidentally) kill him.

"You're not predictable, you're just an idiot," he said.

"Thanks, glad you approve of my fighting style," retorted Naruto sarcastically and removed the kunai. This left Sasuke free to wriggle from his early grave. When he had his hands free he rubbed the dirt from his eyes and finally opened them. The sun-blinding grin on Naruto's face was like eating a rotten lemon to Sasuke, way too unpleasant to even contemplate. But his teammate did stick out his hand and pulled Sasuke from the loose soil, which kept threatening to swallow him.

"So, am I still the number one unpredictable shinobi?"

Sasuke wiped as much of the dirt off his clothes as he could, but he still looked like he took a turn at a mud-belly-sliding contest. He started walking back to the castle, and Naruto fell into step next to him.

"Yes," answered Sasuke, "and also the most annoying and idiotic one, and let's not forget the loudest."

Naruto smacked a fist into his open hand palm.

"Knew I should've made that pit into quicksand."

* * *

For some reason, the aftermath of the fifth Duelling class led to an impromptu interview. The students were starting to get over their awe and slight fear of the guards, seeing that they were humans too behind the masks. Far more approachable than the Dementors, that was for sure.

So they asked questions. Sasuke preferred to walk away from it all, but Naruto clearly enjoyed all the attention. And since Sasuke knew it was his duty to make sure his teammate didn't say anything compromising or made any strange promises, he stayed.

Which led to some strange questions from the students. They asked about their favorite foods, what the language they spoke was called, where they learnt all those wandless spells, but some students knew more about the hidden countries. And they were the ones who asked the dangerous questions. One girl in particular, a bushy-haired Gryffindor, was as sharp as a wetted kunai.

The questions had turned to their skills.

"Can you kill a man with your bare hands?" asked a tall boy with a scar on his chin.

"Yes-" Was all Sasuke said before the noise from the students cut him off. He cleared his throat, but that had no effect on them.

"Oi!" yelled Naruto at them, and the clamor stopped.

"I can kill a man with bare hands... but so can you," said Sasuke. The confused look on the boy's face was delicious. Slowly, understanding dawned and the boy grinned.

"Yeah, I've heard of Muggles who've killed a guy in one blow," said another boy, and some others nodded.

"But I'm not that strong," said a petite girl, and indicated her lack of height and muscle. A boy measured from the top of his head to hers, and she barely came to his shoulders. The boy laughed.

"True, but if you get a lucky shot in, like a punch in the solar plexus, you can still kill me."

That seemed to scare the girl, and she put her hands up to her mouth. "I'd never do that!"

"Yeah, you would," said another girl in a serious tone. She had a haunted look in her eyes which clashed with her bright blond hair and colorful accessories. Sasuke surmised that this girl didn't have a happy home life and carefree upbringing. Interesting.

"Alright, if there are no more questions, we have things to do and so do you," said Sasuke out loud. Immediately he once again had their attention, and the questions poured forth as if there had never been an interruption. One question stood out though, asked by the bushy-haired girl.

"Have you killed?"

The students fell silent, watching Sasuke, eagerly awaiting his answer.

"What's your name, girl?" asked Sasuke. Know thy enemy. Or rather: know thy students who are smart and possibly threaten their secret names.

"Hermione Granger," answered the girl immediately, and joined the other students holding their breath.

Sasuke repeated the question in his head, and he fought not to snort. They were shinobi, of course they had killed!

"Yes, I have killed," he answered curtly, and watched as the student's eyes grew wide as they stared at him. Some in awe, some in disgust, but a lot of faces were unreadable.

"How old were you-" Hermione started to ask, but Naruto had apparently decided that he'd had enough.

"Alright, no questions. We have to go," he interrupted, something Sasuke was glad for. But he wouldn't admit that even when Itachi begged him to. The first kill was always something which stuck with a shinobi, no matter how well-trained or prepared he was. The blood, the empty eyes, no amount of Academy training could have prepared him.

The students groaned at the dismissal, but dispersed nonetheless. Naruto turned to Sasuke. "Come on, we're late for patrol."

"We can't be late," pointed Sasuke out, "we decide on the schedule ourselves."

They bickered about if you didn't keep to your own schedule, whether you could be late. Sasuke felt glad for the bickering, it stopped his mind from dwelling on his first kill. He gave Naruto a small nod, and he thought his teammate understood.

But with Naruto you never knew.

* * *

Since it wasn't unusual for Alastor Moody to lock his office when he was in it, Barty Crouch felt it safe to do the same. And keeping with Moody's famous (somewhat justified) paranoia, he cast all kinds of defensive spells on the office, ranging from keeping ghosts out to making sure nobody listened in. When he had taken every precautionary measure he could think of, he opened the fourth lock on the seven-lock trunk. On the bottom of it, stuffed in a hidden compartment, lay a lone mirror. With care "Alastor Moody" lifted it from the trunk and hobbled over to the desk. The whites of the eyes weren't showing in the Foe Glass, so for the moment he was in the clear.

Barty took moody's wand out, closed his eyes, took a deep breath and began the spell.

"_Adnexum occultus,_" he said loud and clear, and tapped the mirror twice. Mist formed in the image, growing darker by the second. When the mist stopped swirling Barty drew a cross on the mirror with his wand. Where his wand touched the mirror, the mist parted and fire replaced the blackness. In the middle of the cross he placed his finger and ignored the smell of burning flesh. After all, what was one more scar on Moody's body?

When his blood ran over the mirror, he touched a speck of it with his wand and said: "patefacio".

Now all he had to do was wait. Absentmindedly he healed his burnt and bleeding finger with a simple healing spell and felt his heart quiver in anticipation. He wanted to bow in reverence when the voice of his Master floated through the room. The connection had been made.

"Is all going well, my faithful servant?"

"Of course, my Lord. The boy has been chosen as the other Hogwarts Champion and the Headmaster has fallen for it. Tomorrow night the first task will take place, and I have given him a way to secure the golden egg and get the lead."

Barty heard this pleased his Master, because he chuckled with his high voice. The mirror remained misty, but the sound was as clear as if his Master stood by his side.

"Of all my servants, you are the most reliable."

High praise, and Barty felt himself swell with pride. He could deal with the wooden leg and the annoying eye, as long as his Master still had use for him and praised him like this. But he had roused his Master for a reason, and he once again became humble.

"But there is one thing which might prove troublesome in the future, my Lord."

Barty didn't dare wait for either confirmation or annoyance in his Master's voice, so he plowed on. "Dumbledore has hired guards from another country to patrol the school at night. So far they have proven to be no obstacle, but they could interfere with the plan in the long run. I've already tried to cast _Imperio_ on them, but they resisted it."

Master was indeed displeased with the news, but thankfully he didn't kill the messenger. This time.

"Perhaps you should kill them then," he suggested. Barty shook his head, before remembering that his Master couldn't see him.

"I'm sorry, my Lord, I can't do that without arousing suspicion. But..."

Even while talking, an idea sprung into Barty's head. Maybe, could be, a possibility?

"One of the guards... _feels_ dark. I'm sure he's got traces of Dark magic on him. I need to check it with some instruments, but if so, he might be - interested in an offer."

Master needed to think about that idea, but Barty knew that this conversation had already taken too long. It was dangerous to use a contacting line like this in an area where any Dark magic was quickly found and traced. Though there weren't many people who'd dare search Moody's office.

"For now, try to find out as much as you can about these guards. Relay the most important information, and I will incorporate them into the plan," instructed Voldemort.

"Yes, my Lord."

"Keep on performing excellently, my faithful servant."

"Yes, my Lord. Thank you, my Lord."

The mirror darkened until Barty once again stared at Moody's mismatched face. He'd please his Master. The information-gathering began tomorrow.

* * *

**A/N:** For the Naruto and Sasuke scene with a _nekkid _Naruto: imagine your own happy ending, you SasuNaru people (or NaruSasu, whatever floats your medium-sized yacht).

For most scenes I sketch a small outline what the scene is going to be about, but some just jump into my head with a flashbang grenade. The last scene was one of those, so all I had to do was write this down:

_"Yes, guard has Dark magic, what shall I do?"_

_"Get him over to the dark side, we have cookies."_

And my mind filled in the blanks.


	6. The bell test

**A/N: **A Naruto/HP crossover is not a real crossover unless it includes the Bell Test. Not very original, I know, but it was fun to write. Enjoy!

* * *

"Today," began Fox, but Ron rudely interrupted him.

"Why the hell have you called us to the other side of the lake this bloody early? Breakfast wasn't even served!"

Harry sighed. If you cut off Ron for one second from a steady food supply, there was hell to pay. Fox replied in a calm tone: "Yes, I know. I have hunger too."

But he didn't sound the least bit sympathetic. He continued his speech.

"Today you will do the bell-test if you don't want to lose points. Pair up in teams of three," he instructed. Some students murmured at the 'losing points'-part, but by now they already sought out people from other Houses. Harry paired up with a girl from Ravenclaw and a boy from Slytherin. The girl looked about third-year age, and the boy was a first-year, judging by his squeaky voice and small frame.

"Hi, I'm Alex," introduced the Ravenclaw herself, and shook hands with the Slytherin boy.

"Jamie," said the boy, and then they both turned to Harry.

"Well, _you_ don't need to introduce yourself," said Alex in a kind voice. She smiled at Harry and he smiled back.

"I hope we don't lose points!" said Jamie as he wrung his hands together. Fox waited for the teams to form, and he and Crow put the last stragglers together in teams.

"So, the bell-test," said Fox. "I will create a clone for every team. The clones have two bells, and you have to get them any way possible. If you don't get any bells by noon, you won't get lunch."

"You're kidding me!" cried Ron (and several others). Crow took over and said in his impeccable English accent:

"Fail, and you will lose points, and no lunch either. We'll continue this test until sundown."

Fox nodded along and then his whole demeanor changed. He grew larger, more dangerous. Not by physical appearance, but by presence.

"If you want to win, come at us as if you want to kill. Use any spell to get the bells off us."

He shook the two tiny bells in his hand to emphasize his point.

"Mister?" said Jamie softly as he raised his hand, and Fox acknowledged him. "There are only two bells..."

Fox's voice was laced with humor, and Harry imagined a blinding grin on the face behind the mask. "Exactly."

The presence receded and Fox crossed his fingers together. He cried something in his native language (kagebeshinnojuts?) and eleven more Foxes popped into existence, each of them carrying two bells. Five of them made another hand sign and changed into Crow. It looked a lot less painful than using Polyjuice potion, mused Harry.

The clones waved at the groups of students and then ran off, all of them in a different direction. Some of them ran across the lake, others performed some kind of earth-spell and disappeared underneath the soil and a couple ran into the direction of the castle.

"What are you waiting for? GO!" said Fox and gestured for them to leave. A lot of students ran after the clones, but Harry stood his ground. Fox possessed a pair of bells too, right? Why bother chasing after someone when one already stood within cursing range?

Without bothering to explain to his teammates what he was going to do, he raised his wand and said: "Accio bells!"

Sadly, Fox wasn't in his spot anymore. Instead, Harry heard his voice by his right ear.

"Good, Harry, but too loud."

Harry didn't bother turning around. He knew that by the time he did, Fox would already be gone. But he didn't expect Alex to call out "Expelliarmus!" too. Harry heard Fox gasp and something went 'poof' right by his shoulder. When he looked, he saw a sawed-off log clatter on the ground.

"Well done, Alex! You missed me, but good timing!"

Even when crouched on a tree branch Fox managed to teach and encourage. Another team had surmised that it was smarter to attack the ones already here instead of going after clones somewhere on the grounds. Fox leapt back and perform some acrobatic moves to keep from getting hit by various spells.

"Keep it up!" he called before jumping up high, higher, highest... gone, somehow. Harry looked around for Crow, but that slimy git had also pulled a disappearing act. Harry turned to his teammates.

"Anyone got a tracking spell?"

The guards were _good_, Harry already knew that. But they excelled in nearly everything. They had great stamina, strength, but also tactical insight and they always seemed to know what you were going to do before you even knew yourself.

The whole morning Harry's team spotted the guards but without once getting in range to combat them. They tried to sneak up on Crow (a clone or the real one, Harry didn't know), but even though they were as silent as possible, Crow whirled at the last second in their direction. He threw a mock-salute and ran away across the grounds.

"It's no use! They're too good!" wailed Jamie as another Fox slipped through their fingers.

"I'm really hungry," said Alex in a small voice. Harry supposed she was a decent dueler, but she was terribly... girly. She yelped at every earthworm, flinched at the branches and even inside the castle she managed to frighten herself with something. They walked across the Entrance Courtyard, and the clock told them the day neared noon. They had twenty minutes left to get the bells.

The other Hogwarts students were up and about by now, and they had great fun watching the Duelling students run around chasing after the guards.

"We still got twenty minutes," said Harry to cheer Alex up. But the girl looked downtrodden. She was a sorry sight. They had chased after some Foxes near the lake, and had ended up in the undergrowth. This left tiny branches sticking out of Alex's robes in every direction. Poor Jamie had so much twigs in his hair Harry feared he might turn into a tree.

"Look! There's one!" cried Jamie, and immediately pulled his wand. "Expaliurmes!"

Harry resisted the urge to slap himself on the forehead. Just a first-year, he told himself, you learnt it in your second year... But at least he got the pronunciation right on the first try, unlike Jamie.

Some sparks fizzed from the front of Jamie's wand, but other than that, Fox remained unharmed. He stood at the other end of the courtyard, seemingly out of breath. But they had been fooled by that trick before.

"You just... gonna stand there?" he wheezed, trying to look both left and right at the same time to check for incoming Duelling students out for his bells.

Harry ran through his mental library of spells and tried to find one that would fit the situation. He had to think out of the box, do something unexpected, because Fox beat every expected trick. Alex and Jamie looked to him for leadership, and he tried to come up with a plan. Right. Plan. His eyes raced across the courtyard, searching for inspiration when the tiny seed of a plan erupted in his mind.

"Avifors!" He pointed his wand at some left-behind Gobblestones and transformed them into birds, whom flew away chirping. He targeted some birds and said "Depulso." The birds got pushed towards Fox, but the guy wasn't there anymore. He simply ducked when the birds flew over and now stood up straight again.

"Nice try," he said, and jumped on top of the courtyard wall. But Harry wasn't done yet. He aimed carefully at a brick, said the spell and replaced the brick with jelly, which made Fox slip and fall. In mid-air Harry tried to aim an Expelliarmus, but Alex beat him to the punch.

"Tarantellegra!"

Fox's legs did a complicated mix of dance-moves, and he landed heavily on his arms.

"Ouch," he groaned, and tried to sit up. His legs wouldn't let him, and he twitched on the ground like a headless chicken.

Harry let a triumphant grin bloom on his face. They had him! They had secured two bells! Once again he raised his wand and said: "Accio bells!"

But the bells remained attached to Fox' belt. So he had counter-cursed them. Harry knew that he wasn't the first to try that technique. But they were the first ones to make a guard slip and fall, he was sure of that.

"Hey, where do you think you're going?" said Jamie alarmed. Fox's legs were still kickin' chicken, but he somehow balanced himself on his hands. He even walked away on his hands.

"Next time, immediately secure the catch!" he advised, and added so softly that Harry wasn't sure he heard it: "Thanks, Gai-sensei."

And then he ran away on his hands, leaving three gaping Hogwarts students behind. Harry couldn't even begin to pursue him, it was so bizarre. Alex slumped.

"This is hopeless. Let's just go back to the lake and hope we do better in the afternoon. Man, I wish we could eat today..."

Harry grunted something in agreement and set off. They had to go back to fetch Jamie, who was still gaping at the spot where Fox had left, sprinting on his hands with his legs kicking about. Those guys were _way_ too good to challenge them like this.

"Anyone? Did _anyone_ get _any_ bells?" asked Hermione, but all the students shook their heads dejectedly.

"Harry, what about you?"

Hermione sounded desperate. She looked disheveled and there was so much mud on her face she looked like she had visited a spa where her mud bath got interrupted.

"Sorry, no bells here either. Though we came close twice," Harry said optimistically. Jamie plopped down on the ground and Alex joined him, though with more grace. Hermione whirled around and set her sights on Ron.

"Ron?"

But the redhead didn't even have to answer, the pained expression on his face was enough.

"Not even close. The git walked by barely two feet from us and we still couldn't grab him!"

Other students regaled each other with their tales. It turned out that the guards had been active all over the grounds, from Hagrid's hut to the Astronomy tower, and one group swore they'd seen one disappear into the Forbidden Forest. They had tried Stunning them, Slowing them, and when they got desperate, they tried trapping them. But every time they walked off unscathed and waving as if three students hadn't tried to murder the guy for two bells.

The students stopped talking when the scent of food filled the air. Harry smelled warm, fresh toast, milk, strawberries and chocolate. And rice, for some reason.

All of the guards appeared, carrying armfuls of lunchboxes. All eleven of them, and the two originals, still had their bells.

"Alright, lunch!" called Ron happily, and other students joined him as they rushed to the guards. But Fox yelled "stop!" and the students stopped in their tracks.

"Only for the hard-working teams," said Fox, and Ron's face fell. The clones and the guards piled the lunchboxes on a big pile and stood protectively in front of it.

"If I call your name, your group come get three lunch boxes. Eat it, enjoy it. But-"

Then his presence turned dangerous again and Harry swallowed hard. That guy could be scary when he wanted to. Thankfully he was often happy-go-lucky, otherwise having him as a guard would be as bad as having Dementors around.

"Do _not_ share it, or we'll take fifty points. Yes?"

Harry nodded along with the rest and hoped the guards thought they'd worked hard enough. He heard stomachs growling all around him, and his joined the chorus.

"I hope I did okay," whispered Ron to Harry. "I think I might actually eat one of Hagrid's cakes if I don't get any food soon."

Fox called out names and the students who got called raced to the pile and grabbed a lunchbox. The others waited in tense silence. Harry saw a lot of crossed fingers.

"Jamie, Alex, Harry," said Fox, and Harry breathed more easy when his fingers curled around the lunchbox. The scent of bread was overpowering and he had to fight hard to keep from tearing it open and devouring it right then and there.

Fox called out two more teams and then stopped. When the left-over students realized that the pile was gone they groaned out loud.

"You're kidding me, right?" said Ron pathetically. He hadn't received a lunchbox, and eyed one of the first-year's.

"We have to do something right now, but we'll be back at one o'clock to continue this exercise," said Fox. He made a hand sign and the clones disappeared in clouds of smoke. Crow and Fox ran off, leaving the students neatly divided into two groups: those with and without lunch.

The lunchless group banded together and whined about unfair treatment, their stomachs gurgling loudly.

"Lucky you managed to hit Fox with that Tarantellegra!" said Jamie as he sank his teeth into the bread. Alex beamed proudly and drank the milk without pause. Harry didn't feel so victorious, with Ron practically eating Harry's lunch with his eyes.

A Slytherin boy said something to a Hufflepuff girl three feet from Harry, so he couldn't help but overhear.

"I thought Hufflepuffs were loyal to their friends," said the boy. The girl slowly nodded.

"So why don't you share your lunch with your friends? I bet they're really hungry..."

The girl stole a glance at her friends and Harry heard their stomachs growling.

"They'll need the energy, and the guards aren't here right now. Unless you're not a _true_ Hufflepuff."

A second Slytherin boy joined the first one and together they talked to the girl, constantly saying things about friendship and sharing and pointing out the fact that the guards weren't here at the moment, but they could return any second now, and she'd better hurry up.

Harry was about to turn around and tell them to shut up and mind their own business and to leave the girl alone when she abruptly stood up and walked over to her friends.

"Here," she said, "eat up, quickly." She shared her bread with her friends, whom accepted the food with smiles and a lot of "thanks!". The other students who had seen the exchange looked at each other, unsure of what to do. The guards _had _said that they weren't to share, but the growling stomachs belonged to their _friends_.

It didn't take long for Harry to make up his mind. He and several other students got up.

"What are you doing?" hissed Jamie. "You're going to lose fifty points!"

Harry shrugged. He'd lost more, and he saw students from different houses share their lunch, not just Gryffindors. It looked like the magical hourglass with all the house points would look a lot different this afternoon.

"Ron's hungry, and he's my best friend. He's going to need the energy this afternoon."

Having said that, he walked over to his friend and dumped the lunchbox into his lap. "Here, eat up," he said, and to his surprise Hermione walked up next to him, also donating her leftovers to Ron. The redhead smiled happily and with a quick "thanks, guys! You rock!" he dug in. All around him Harry saw the students sharing, laughing together now that stomachs got filled, and the mood lifted.

His own stomach dropped when Crow and Fox appeared in a cloud of smoke smack dab in the center of the gathering.

"What the hell are you doing? We told you _not_ to share your lunch!" thundered Fox, and to Harry's surprise Crow had a good yelling voice.

"And you ignore our rules, our _orders_, to take care of your friends?"

The silence was complete. Several students tried to hide the lunchboxes, but Harry knew that was a futile gesture. Most likely the guards had been lying in wait, holding out until the moment when the first student cracked. Hermione was as white as a sheet, but she defiantly held her chin up, looking straight at the guards. Harry didn't feel like he had done anything wrong. Ron was hungry, and he didn't wish a hungry Ron on his worst enemy. Well, maybe Malfoy.

"But-" began one of the students, but both guards yelled: "silence!"

"Ten points for everybody who shared their lunch," said Crow. The silence was now a stunned one.

"Wizards who break the rules are trash," said Fox. "But those who don't take care of their friends are lower than trash."

Two beats, and then the world erupted in questions and comments and laughing and relief and annoyance. Harry was among the laughing ones. It certainly was an effective lesson in how the world worked, at least, how the world _should_ work. These guards had imprinted once again on them that looking after each other was vital in any society, no matter what the rules said.

A lot of Slytherins were annoyed, since their House had missed out on a lot of points. Here and there some Slytherins were relieved that they had shared their lunch, but Hufflepuff and Gryffindor had gained a head start.

"Good thing you're such good friends, then," smiled Ron as he got up. He had gobbled up the remainder of the meal and was now a lot more approachable and happy than before.

"I can't believe they pulled that," said Hermione as she shook her head. "They have some strange worldviews."

"You're _just_ finding out they're funny in the head?" asked Ron, still with a smile on his face. Hermione rolled her eyes at him, but Harry saw that she was glad.

Jamie, on the other hand, was unhappy. Harry heard him complaining to Alex, who had also not shared her lunch with anyone.

A small puff of clouds signaled the departure of the guards, so Harry walked back to his team after saying goodbye to Ron and Hermione.

"They can't do that!" whined Jamie, his lunchbox forgotten on the ground.

"Lower than trash... My ass, they want to screw with the house points and shake things up," said Alex with a sagely nod. They noticed Harry only when he once again sat down with them, and they turned to him.

"You knew what was going to happen, didn't you?" asked Alex accusingly, but Harry held up his hands in defense.

"I swear, I didn't know. I just thought Ron was hungry, and he's my friend. They'd be back at one, so I thought I had plenty of time to give my best friend something to eat. Else he'd complain about food all day long."

Harry's defense fell on deaf ears.

"You're in league with them, don't deny it. You and that Granger girl," said Jamie. For such a small kid he could sure force his voice into a threatening tone. Too bad puberty hadn't hit this guy yet, making his voice far less threatening than it could have been.

"I won't deny it," began Harry, and had to talk louder to get over the triumphant shout of Jamie. "Because it isn't true. How the hell could I've known that was going to happen? It's not like I invite them over for tea and they bring the crumpets."

"But you can't deny that they have a special interest in you," said Alex. Harry shook his head.

"True, but the longest conversation I've had with either of them was about a hidden shortcut. They just ... watch me, I guess. Which sounds freaky when I put it like that."

Jamie sulked for a little bit, but then seemed to accept what had happened.

"Next time I'd better break the rules too," he said. He got a gleam in his eyes Harry didn't quite appreciate, and he made a mental note not to go into a team with this guy anytime soon.

At precisely one o'clock the guards poofed back amidst the students.

"Congrats, you passed the test. See you next week!" cried Fox, to the relief of many. Others glanced at their watches. It wasn't sundown yet, but they didn't question getting the afternoon off. A few of the people who didn't get any house points still looked murderous, but the guards didn't seem the least bit intimidated.

"That was ... interesting," said Ron as he joined the Golden Trio again. While Harry and Hermione looked like they'd taken a long tumble off a short hill, Ron looked pristine.

"We barely even saw one," said Ron. Hermione grinned at him.

"_We_ almost managed to capture one," she countered.

"Then where are your bells?" asked Ron, and Hermione's grin faltered.

"I said: almost. Harry, how did you fare?"

While Harry told the tale of his jelly-brick and walking on hands, they walked back to the castle.

"Interesting indeed," said Hermione at the end of Harry's tale.

"I wonder what they'll think of next," said Harry.

* * *

"You're telling us you can incapacitate by look alone?"

"Yes, it's called killing intent. It's an intimidation technique which destroys a foe's will to fight or even move," said Crow. Harry noticed his English vocabulary was getting remarkably better, unlike Fox, who still made all kinds of grammar mistakes which made Hermione flinch.

"If you wanna stay live, you must learn killing intent because it's a mindfu-"

"Oi, there are ladies present," scolded Hermione. A few of the female students tittered. Naruto seemed unfazed by her statement and continued.

"I show you. Prepare."

Harry tensed and gripped his wand, and he students all around him do the same. He had no idea what the guard was going to do, so he readied all the counter-spells he could think of, but none of them covered an intimidation technique.

The moment seemed to drag on and Harry felt a winter breeze seeking entry into his warm clothes. Fox just stood on the grass, his hands at his sides. He didn't even do one of his hand seals.

And then it hit him. An utterly primordial feeling which forced his mind into a fight-or-flight response. Fox grew from a guard into a Hunter, and he was Prey. The guy was going to kill him, and there was no escape. The world consisted of him and Fox, and he wanted to scream when Fox took a step closer. He ordered his muscles to move, to shout a curse, anything! But they didn't listen and he was going to die. It felt like a nightmare you couldn't wake up from, one where red-eyed monsters are chasing you and there are green flashes and a high, mirthful chuckle which promised a swift death. Fox took another step closer and Harry heard his heartbeat pounding in his ears, he wondered how long he'd be able to hear it before Hunter came and killed him because he was Prey and nothing but Prey and why couldn't he move he wanted to move-

A heavy fog lifted from his mind and he could finally move and think rationally again. Beside him Hermione sunk to her knees, Ron stumbled forward, both breathing heavily. The other Duelling students were in similar states of disarray. One had even ran away and climbed a tree. Harry noticed he had to draw in large gulps of air, but at least he was alive.

"That," Fox said smugly, "is killing intent."

"Bloody hell…" muttered Ron as he straightened.

"But don't worry, I have one of the baddest killing intents around." Fox had the audacity to sound happy about that. "It's because of … special situation. He finished and Harry saw he let a hand hover above his stomach before he dropped it.

"Is there a way we can combat it?" Harry asked, but had to reword the sentence because both guards looked at him funny.

"Can we do something about it?"

That, they both got. Crow answered the question. "You can train yourselves to ignore it, or you can train to feel it but not fear it."

"Or you can stab you in your thigh," Fox supplied helpfully, and elbowed Crow rather obviously. Crow elbowed him back, once, hard and precise.

"Or you can stab yourselves in the thigh," he repeated in a dull voice.

"But apart from training, there's nothing we can do? No spell or anything?" Hermione asked as soon as she was back on her feet. Crow and Fox looked at each other, but Fox shrugged once before turning back to Hermione.

"We know not. Maybe you can hit the people of the killing intent with a spell. We'll ask the Charms sensei- err, teacher if he knows any spells."

"But for now, we'll start building up your resistance. What you felt from Fox is one of the worst killing intents in the world. But he held back a lot. We're going to train you so you can at least shrug off the effects long enough to fire a spell. Get ready," said Crow. He didn't give them time to get ready before the same terror hit Harry, but … weaker, somehow. It was like the Imperius curse, whispering in his mind for him to give in, to give up, Crow was coming to kill him anyway. But like the Imperius curse, Harry fought it off.

Other students didn't fare so well. The one who climbed the tree still edged closer to it every time a wave of killing intent hit. After two more waves Harry was able to focus long enough to cast a spell. Crow, however, was incredibly quick and agile and managed to avoid the jets of light with ease. Fox loitered about, waving his wand at everything in the vicinity and muttering things under his breath. As Harry got ready for the fourth try Fox managed to set a fern on fire. Crow snorted and put it out with a powerful _aguamenti_-spell. They bickered and then Crow went back to throwing stronger and stronger killing intent around as if it were candy and he was Santa Claus.

Then Harry imagined the stern Crow acting jolly and he suppressed a chuckle. And just in time, because then the next wave hit. And relented. Hit. Relented.

It was terribly tiresome and Harry felt the sweat forming on his brow, even despite the cold weather. He knew he'd have no trouble sleeping tonight, what with all the adrenalin coursing through his body every time a wave hit. It was somewhat similar to a Dementor attack, though without the feeling of having the happiness sucked out of you. Harry froze up the same way, but managed to shake it off almost all the time.

After what felt like an hour, but his watch told him was fifteen minutes, Fox interjected. Even from a distance Harry saw the guard shivered and his teeth chattered. He hadn't dressed for the weather, and was now suffering the consequences. No wonder the guard had tried to light something on fire; it was the only warmth he could generate on the grounds.

"They are tired. I think we have done enough practice," he said in his unique mix of wrong grammar. And Harry couldn't entirely disagree. He didn't know if he'd be able to make it all the way up the stairs to the Gryffindor common room, his knees shook so bad. Ron sported a red face (and ears) as well, and Hermione looked about ready to keel over and declare the snow her bed for the night.

Crow nodded and gave the students a quick bow. Harry felt himself subconsciously bowing back, wondering if he'd done that right. Was he supposed to bow to a guard? He didn't know anything about their customs, and neither did Hermione. She kept her gaze fixed on Crow as she too bowed, most likely looking for any sign of displeasure. But Crow was as stoic as ever. Fox took that opportunity to take the lead.

"Thank you for your time. Please, next week we have same the training. You prepare."

Harry righted himself and started walking back to the castle. The students around him slowly dispersed, some of them sitting down and taking five to recuperate from the mental beating.

"That was intense," breathed Ron when he had caught up to Harry, and Hermione replied: "But it's necessary. We'll come out stronger."

"Yeah, but I wish I didn't have to relive my nightmares in real life." Ron shuddered and Harry briefly wondered what when through Ron's head when Fox had unleashed his incredible power. He already knew Ron's greatest fear thanks to the Acromantula and the Boggart, but what would run through Ron's head when confronted with such a primal fear?

And what about cultured Hermione? She hadn't succumbed to Fox's power, showing her Gryffindor spirit, but she was still white around the nose.

Harry didn't know if he dared bring it up. He didn't want to share the terror and the animalistic thoughts that went through his mind, so he changed the subject and all the way up to the castle they kept on bickering about what Fox's 'special condition' might be.


	7. Muggle at the breakfast table

**A/N: **'Muggle at the breakfast table' was one of the first scenes which popped into my mind when I thought about what Naruto would do at Hogwarts. I laughed at my thoughts of all the confused students and laughed some more at Sasuke's response to that. I wrote that down in a few keywords, came across those a week later, and bam- this fic was born.

A reminder: Daiki Sato is the codename for Naruto.

* * *

When you saw the guards, you immediately knew they_ were_ the guards. Their uniform was a strange mix of wizard clothes and a military Muggle uniform.

They wore the same Hogwarts robe as the teachers, but underneath that they wore a green vest with a blue sweater, dark blue pants and blue sandals. Sometimes they mixed it up with black clothes, and once Parvati saw Fox run around in bright orange pants, which clashed horribly with his green vest. Crow was sometimes seen wearing a shirt with an incredibly wide collar, forgoing the green vest.

Parvati noticed these kind of things, and most important of all: she remembered these kind of things. Fashion was a pet hobby of hers. At a school where you wore an uniform, it was important to accessorize to keep up with the latest style. The guards stood out because they mixed and matched their uniforms from a set of clothes, and they could be utterly blind to clashing colors. In the sea of black uniforms theirs was as vibrant as a gay parade. Which made Parvati take notice.

"I think I'll finish reading this book in my own bed," said Parvati as she snapped the book shut. She looked around quickly to make sure Madam Pince hadn't noticed her 'abuse of books', but the old librarian busied herself scolding some first-years who accidentally had cracked the spine on a hard-cover book.

"I'll join you in a bit, I can't read in bed. I always fall asleep before I can even read one page," said Lavender. The other girls at the table bade Parvati goodnight and she left the library, carrying the heavy book in a bag slung over her shoulder. It was nice to be alone sometimes, even for a social butterfly like Parvati. The relatively empty hallways of Hogwarts always seemed alive, so you knew you weren't truly alone. The torchlight flickered over the moving paintings and the hallways were warm thanks to an enchantment from mr. Flitwick.

Parvati wasn't in a hurry to get back to the dorm. She walked slowly, scuffing the ground here and there with her new boots, nearly dragging her feet. She looked at them as she walked. They were nice boots. Pricy, but worth every Galleon.

Something metal flickering in the torchlight caught her attention. A piece of metal lay half-hidden in the shadow of a drinking fountain. A piece of metal had no business laying there, so Parvati bent over and picked it up. It was a rectangular piece of metal, with something engraved in the middle. Two lengths of black cloth were attached to the metal plate. When Parvati turned it around in her hands, she recognized it.

Whatever type of uniform the guards wore that day, there were a few constants in their dress code: the white mask, the sandals, and some kind of swirly symbol on a metal plate. Sometimes they wore it around their neck, around their waist or on their arms, and Parvati spotted Fox a couple of times as he used it as some kind of bandana. The cloth of Crow's metal thingy was blue, but Fox's was black.

If they kept it with them at all times... She realized that she'd found something special to one of the guards, and she closed her hand around it. She had to return it.

She scrounged around the area to see if Fox had lost any more items, but other than some water droplets on the ground she didn't find anything.

With a new goal in mind she put the band in her pocket but kept clutching it with one hand to make sure she didn't lose it. She turned around and marched towards the stairs which would lead her to the third floor. Every student in Hogwarts knew where the guards were housed, especially the fourth-years and older. They stayed in the forbidden corridor where Parvati had snuck past back when she was a first-year, to see what was so forbidden about it. Back then she wasn't able to open the doors, but this time she'd be able to see the room. She hoped.

She came across surprisingly little students, but Fox did rush past her. He continually mumbled "sorry" as he dashed past various students. Parvati called to him, but he either he didn't hear her or he didn't want to hear her. He was gone within seconds and Parvati didn't race after him. She wanted to see what the forbidden room looked like.

So she found herself in front of it ten minutes later, with half a mind to turn around and flag down one of the Fox-guards. Parvati felt the edge of the metal plate dig into her palm as she clutched it real tight. She was a Gryffindor, and Gryffindors possessed courage above all.

One, two, three times she knocked. A polite knock. If nobody answered, she'd go back to the dorm room and try again tomorrow. But a muffled voice called "come in". She couldn't make out if the voice belonged to Crow or Fox.

Slowly she pushed the door wide open and peeked inside.

The room... wasn't as spectacular as she'd hoped. In fact, it looked a lot like her own shared room, complete with red four-poster beds and a golden-red rug. It was bigger, but other than that one of the beds was a giant mess, it looked like a typical bedroom. The messy bed seemed to exist in an universe of its own. The other bed was pristine, as if nobody had ever slept in it. But the messy bed, well, 'disaster area' didn't even come close. Discarded empty bowls surrounded it, scrolls with unfamiliar characters covered it and the display was completed with a worn pyjama and a night cap which took up the left-over space. So much stuff laid on it it was hard to see the original color of the sheets.

But that wasn't what drew Parvati's attention. That'd be the man sitting in the windowsill.

For some reason the torches hadn't been lit, but the moonlight streaming in through the big window was enough to light the entire bedroom. And it also lit up Crow, who sat in the windowsill, leaning against the wall. One bent leg leaned on the windowsill and the other leg dangled in the air. A scroll with the unfamiliar characters was rolled out over his lap and bunched together on the ground. He wore his mask, but it was lopsided, as if he'd put it on in a hurry. Other than that, the items he always wore were gone, leaving him in nothing but his black sweater and black pants. The pant leg of the bent leg was rolled up and white bandages shone in the moonlight.

"Yes?" he prodded when Parvati promptly forgot why she'd come here. Her grip on the metal plate reminded her of her purpose, and she stepped into the room, pulling the metal plate from her pocket.

"I found this near the drinking fountain on the second floor. I think this belongs to Fox."

Parvati prided herself on two whole sentences in the presence of this guard. He looked intimidating, especially when he radiated that 'must-kill'-power.

"Yes, that's Fox's forehead protector. He's been looking for it all evening."

He made a 'come here'-gesture and held out his hand. Nervous that she'd done something wrong Parvati walked over to the guard and handed him the ... forehead protector, as Crow called it, making sure to step around the scroll on the ground.

"You're in Gryffindor. What's your name?"

"P-Parvati Patil. Sir."

She couldn't help herself calling him 'sir'. In her eyes, he _was_ a sir, even though he looked young.

"Fox'll want to thank you for finding it and bringing it here, Parvati. I'll pass it along to him."

Before Crow pocketed the metal plate, a noise at the door alerted them both. A voice said something in a strange language, and Fox appeared in the doorway.

He froze at the sight of Parvati, and quickly stepped inside.

"She found your forehead protector," informed Crow, but Fox cocked his head in question. Crow held up the forehead protector and all of a sudden Fox stood right in front of Parvati.

"Thank you thank you thank you!" he cried, and before Parvati could react she was crushed to death against a rock-hard wall. Or his chest, same difference. He hugged her while continuing his mantra of "thank you!", and when he finally let go Parvati was sure she sported the same color as the bed sheets.

"Ah, sorry, but my forehead protector is very special for me," he said, and rubbed the back of his neck with a hand. He walked over to Crow, who handed it to Fox without a sound. Well, Parvati thought she heard him mutter "shutongasji", but it was so soft she might've imagined it.

"If there's anything I can do for you, I'll do it!" said Fox and gave her a thumbs-up with extended arm. "It's a promise!"

There was one thing Parvati wanted more than anything at the moment, and it had been eating at her since the first day of this schoolyear.

"Well," she began, but she didn't know if she should follow through with it. What if he was insulted, or if it was strictly forbidden, or if he became mad? Then again, she'd done him a big favor. It was coincidence that she had been at the right place at the right time, but still...

"Can I see what you look like?" she asked in a whisper, and Fox stilled. Crow snorted, and to Parvati it sounded like an amused snort.

"Ehm..." began Fox, but Crow interrupted him.

"You _did_ promise."

Fox's shoulders slumped and he sighed before nodding. "I did promise. But close please the door. And you can't tell someone... no, _any_one about this, right?"

Parvati nodded enthusiastically, and was already on her way to the door when it closed by itself. When she turned around she caught Crow tucking his wand away. Parvati walked the few steps she'd taken back and felt her heartbeat speed up when Fox reached for his mask.

With some flair for the dramatic he paused for a second, and then pulled the mask away in one swift move.

Parvati stared at the face of someone who could be her classmate. He looked so _young_! His cheeks with three marks each on them still carried some baby-fat, although she already saw the shape of a man's face shine through. The name 'Fox' fit him, because the marks reminded her of whiskers. His eyebrows were the same color as his hair, suggesting either a thorough dye-job, or that really _was_ his natural hair color. But his most striking feature were his eyes. His sky-blue eyes flickered back and forth, searching her face for some kind of sign. A nervous grin played around his lips, showing off white teeth, all the more white thanks to his tanned skin.

"And?" He prodded, and Parvati had to look away from his boring gaze.

"You, ah, have pretty eyes," she managed to say, and she knew she was once again bed sheet-color. His grin grew more genuine and his eyes started to shine.

"Thanks," he said, and Parvati felt her heartbeat speed up even more when he stepped closer to her.

"Well, you have saw my face. Time to go back to your bedroom." His heavy accent seemed charming all of a sudden and Parvati nodded dazedly.

"I won't tell anyone, I swear," she reassured him, and he nodded.

"I know."

Parvati didn't ask how he knew. She let him guide her towards the door and threw back one last look as he closed it.

"Thank you to finding my forehead protector. Good night!"

He waved at her, grinned so wide that his eyes became tiny slits and closed the door.

Parvati fanned some air towards herself to try to cool down. She had always thought of the guards as strong men, way older than her... But Fox, he couldn't have been older than fifteen, sixteen maybe. She remembered his rock-hard body and strong arms surrounding her, a musky smell emanating from his body. That wasn't a boy's body, and he burdened the responsibility of a man. He _was_ a man... but at her age.

Her heartbeat wouldn't calm down, especially not when she thought back of the way his eyes turned from wary to relieved, and she slowly began walking back towards the Gryffindor tower.

Parvati had been through this enough times that she knew what was going on...

She was developing a crush on Fox, and the worst part was: nobody could know that she had seen his face!

* * *

There was a Muggle sitting at the Hufflepuff table.

And he inhaled his food so fast Harry feared for the bloke's esophagus. The Muggle was hard to miss, but he seemed oblivious to the stares of pretty much the entire school. Harry supposed the guy could be a Hogwarts student who forgot to put on the school robes this morning, but he didn't remember ever seeing someone dress in that much orange. Or in that particular shade. His blonde… no, yellow hair complimented the attire. That particular hair color tickled at something in his memory and Harry gasped as he realized who it was.

Fox.

The guard who was so adept at hand to hand combat and had such amazing wandless spells in his arsenal was a fifteen year old boy with weird marks on his face.

Harry's breakfast sat in his stomach like one of Hagrid's buns. There was no way that a fifteen-year old had so much skills, be so talented. This had to be some sort of illusion, because if it was not, Harry felt so … inadequate. He was fourteen for crying out loud, and he barely scared off a Boggart and felt so proud when he produced a full Patronus. Fox must have laughed and laughed at that.

Finally Fox noticed something was amiss and his inhalation slowed. His eyes were puffy, Harry noticed, as if he hadn't gotten enough sleep. In fact, his entire demeanor spoke of exhaustion.

Finally Fox slowed down enough to ask a question. "What's the matter? I have something on my face?"

The Hufflepuff girl sitting next to him nodded slowly, but before she (or he) could say anything Crow appeared in the Great Hall (when did he arrive?) and stalked towards them. He held something in his hands, Harry noticed.

"It's what missing from your face, idiot," he admonished and threw the object in his hands on the table. It was the fox mask. Fox looked at the mask before slowly letting his eyes travel upwards towards Crow's face. His face took on a impish grin and his surprisingly blue eyes disappeared behind eyelids as he looked apologetic. To Harry's amazement he spoke English. Maybe out of politeness?

"Err, didn't think about it this morning… And I was really hungry and tired…"

"And you forgot your clothes as well."

Fox looked down at himself and seemed surprised to find orange clothes instead of his usual outfit. At least the guy wore clothes, unlike Crow has insinuated (or what had gotten lost in translation). Fox's hand inched towards the fox mask and he still smiled that horrible smile at Crow.

"Sorry, sorry… But you fighted yesterday too hard and that's why I'm so tired I forget."

Fox's blue eyes flew open and he pointed an accusing finger at Crow, who didn't flinch at the outburst. Or show any emotion at all, really (it was rather hard to emote through a mask). Unlike Fox, whose face was expressive.

"Stop smirking at me! It's your fault!"

That's when their English ran out and they started talking in their native tongue. Or rather, Fox talked and Crow answered in monosyllabics, but that only seemed to aggravate Fox further. Crow finally had enough of Fox's antics and darted forward, grabbing him by the black collar of his jacket. Fox barely managed to grab the fox mask before Crow unceremoniously dragged him over the table, splattering food everywhere. With some amazing acrobatic skills Fox managed to land on his feet but he was dragged off nonetheless, all the while yelling something (probably insults) at Crow.

After the doors of the Great Hall closed behind them with a bang Harry became aware of the silence that hung over the students. But after two breaths the hall exploded with voices.

"He's got whiskers!" Harry heard a first-year Gryffindor exclaim and her friend nodded enthusiastically. Next to him Ron seemed to still be in a sort of daze, but Hermione threw an indiscernible look at the doors.

"Fox is just a kid," she said with a neutral voice. Ron, however, was not neutral.

"Did you see that? Our guard is a bloody kid! He's got to be amazing to learn that much advanced wandless magic at that age!"

"I bet Crow is young as well, " said Hermione. "Judging by his build and voice. Too bad they both didn't forget their masks."

"I can't believe Dumbledore trusts him," Harry heard Simon say.

* * *

"He's just a kid, Dumbledore! How could you hire a kid to guard Hogwarts? He's not even of age."

McGonagall stood in front of Dumbledore's desk, hands balled in fists at her side and her lips pursed thin. The two shinobi (Naruto with his mask back in its rightful place) stood in Dumbledore's office, as silent as ever.

"I bet Hideko is a kid as well, aren't you?"

McGonagall took a step towards Crow, who merely put his hands in his pockets and scoffed.

"With all due respect," he replied, "we're not kids. In our village we are considered adults, part of the elite shinobi. We're more than capable to defend this school and guard its students. A young age doesn't mean lack of talent."

"You're fourteen!"

"Fifteen, almost sixteen," Naruto corrected hastily. "At least, I am. Hideko's birthday is in June."

"Besides, I don't think either of us ever had a childhood," drawled Sasuke in a Shikimaru-like manner. "If it makes you feel any better, I've lived alone since I was eight and Daiki was … four, I believe. We've been trained to become shinobi since we were six years old. Please do not call us children."

McGonagall's knuckles were white, but as she opened her mouth the headmaster interrupted.

"Minerva…" Dumbledore said in a soft voice. "I'm aware of their age, but such is their culture. Their village leader has deemed them skilled enough for this mission, and I trust her judgment. And in a way, we're helping them. It's safer to guard Hogwarts than guarding a high-level politician or delivering a scroll to a hidden country far away."

Sasuke noted that the headmaster hadn't mentioned an assassination mission or some other more … unpleasant aspect of shinobi dealings. McGonagall, however, seemed to buy it. She turned to Sasuke. "Alright, I'll accept that you're not children, at least not in mind. But please, at least let me see your face once so I at least know you're … well."

He blinked at that odd wish. She'd sounded hurt, as if she wanted to shield them from the horrors of this world but unable to do so. Sasuke shot a sideways glance at Naruto, who shrugged. It was up to him. But sadly for the woman he felt no need to let her see his face. She'd only want to mother them and protect them, and that's the last thing he wanted from this woman.

So he shook his head and said: "Professor, I can assure you I'm well. There's no need to show my face." He turned towards Dumbledore.

"If that's all, sir, we'd like to finish our patrol of the grounds."

The headmaster inclined his head at them and Sasuke took it as a dismissal. He deliberately avoided McGonagall's look and nearly bolted from the office, Naruto in tow. That woman was far too concerned and he had the feeling she looked down upon children's abilities. Or at least, their abilities.

Then again, they hadn't shown what they were capable of, so that's why the woman regarded them as incompetent children who were in over their heads.

"Hey Sasuke, why didn't you show your face?" asked Naruto as they spiraled downwards on the moving stairs. Sasuke shrugged.

"No need to. Now come on, we've got a lot of ground to cover. You take west, I'll take east, we meet up at the doors to continue in the castle."

Sasuke thought he heard a grumbled "who died and made you Hokage", but he dismissed it as usual Naruto-Talk. He knew he had to prove to the woman that he was no mere child. He supposed he could beat Naruto up in view of McGonagall, but the idiot got stronger every day and McGonagall might not view it as an accomplishment if one guard beat up the other.

Most wizards seemed amazed at their 'wandless abilities', so maybe he could use one jutsu to show that he was a force of nature. One _katon_ and bam, McGonagall would hopefully stop whining and treat them like adults.

* * *

But they had to worry about McGonagall's reaction the least. Now that the whole school had seen that Naruto was a teenager, they treated them as such. Rumors got thrown around that Crow was young too, maybe even younger. They were no longer … feared wasn't the right word, but Sasuke started to wish for fear. At least that way he didn't have to put up with kids trying to peek under his mask or patronizing him at every turn.

After Naruto was patted on the head by a cheeky student in his seventh year he had had enough. He threw his mask on his bed and for once looked seriously at Sasuke.

"We need to gain their respect back." He waved his arms about. "I mean, I'm the future Hokage and a current chuunin and some kid who couldn't fight his way out of a wet paper bag patted me on the head. He petted me and called me cute!"

"Agreed. For the first time since… ever, you're talking sense. Ideas?"

A devious grin lit up Naruto's face. "We'll have to show them we're shinobi. How about a spar on the castle grounds? With lots of flashy jutsus. No Rasengan or Chidori, obviously, but some basic ones which can't be pinned down to a single shinobi in case that Gryffindor girl tries to do research."

"A spar which we 'accidentally' let slip onto castle grounds. We'll have to draw blood."

"Of course. And let's run around on the lake, throw in a _suiton_ jutsu… [1]"

"And finish it up with some taijutsu [2]. Day after tomorrow, Saturday, lots of people on the castle grounds then."

"Deal. Now I'm gonna crash. I've got some bunshins patrolling so you can crash too."

"Only weaklings 'crash'," scoffed Sasuke, but his heart wasn't into it. He'd better start thinking up new ways to curbstomp Naruto's face, because he'd never live it down if his teammate beat him in the upcoming sparring session.

* * *

The old man looked gentle, but a reprimand still burned in his eyes. Not at the forefront of his eyes, but if there was one thing Sasuke had learned from Kakashi was looking underneath the underneath. And that meant that the employer might put up a front of gentleness, underneath lay a reprimand. And underneath that was a burning desire to learn more about the shinobi's skills.

Sasuke remained stock still in his seat, and Naruto tried hard to remain from fidgeting. Tried being the key-word.

"I understand your need to deal with the situation your way," Dumbledore began. "But next time, please don't go on a landscaping expedition."

The gentleness remained, and Sasuke swore that the old man was even amused. Sasuke felt glad for his mask, which enabled him to express his emotions more freely. Because he wore a huge smirk right now, one that the employer most likely would not appreciate. Landscaping expeditions, heh.

Outward he nodded sagely and replied: "We will try to keep the destructiveness of our training to a minimum."

Naruto nodded along with that, and in Sasuke's mind he heard Naruto's voice. 'If shinobi turns out to be the wrong career choice, we can always become landscape architects'.

Sasuke then promptly ignored the Naruto voice and shuddered on the inside. When had he gained a Naruto-voice in his head?

"That's all I ask," said Dumbledore. "I've already had a complaint from Rubeus."

"We apologize. Perhaps we can help fill the hole in the forest," suggested Sasuke. Well, Naruto could go help. He created it, after all.

"I think Rubeus would appreciate that. Can he also count on your help regarding the, ah, rearrangement of the trees?"

Sasuke forced himself not to cringe. He was responsible for that one. What he had done to those trees, 'rearrangement' was like calling Orochimaru a harmless scientist. So he nodded, but Dumbledore wasn't done yet.

"I trust that you will also help with the Astronomy tower, the Durmstrang ship, the Quidditch pitch and the lake's addition?"

Both shinobi nodded at each item, shrinking in their seats. Things had ... gotten out of hand. Luckily nobody had gotten hurt (apart from the shinobi themselves).

"We will help with everything," assured Naruto. "That's a promise."

Sasuke resisted the urge to slap his forehead. Naruto and his promises... They'd have to work around the clock to fulfill those. But on the other hand, they'd managed to erase the image of 'weak teenagers' from the collective students' minds so hard it left an impression in the air.

* * *

Ever since the lesson where the two guards had joined, Barty couldn't stop thinking about the Dark magic he had felt inside of Daiki. Daiki contained something Dark and powerful. He lacked the real Moody's instincts regarding Dark magic, but you had to be blind to not notice the Dark magic in the guard.

And as a retired Auror, it was his right to confront the guard about it. He would make it look like concern about the safety of the school. Dumbledore must have felt it too, but apparently he had concluded the Dark magic wasn't a threat. Highly unusual for an old geezer like him to deem Dark magic safe. Especially since he had removed so many books on Dark magic from the library.

All the more reason for Barty to confront the guard as soon as possible. But that was easier said than done. He had to catch the guy alone, with no chance that anybody would walk in on their conversation.

He wanted to find out what that Dark magic force was and how he could use it for his own goals. He had some pleasant dreams about presenting the source of the mysterious Dark magic to his Master. The guard's Dark magic might benefit his Master somehow, and Barty would be the one who supplied it, along with delivering Master's most-hated enemy. His place in the circle of Death Eaters would be set in stone.

His chance came precisely one month after the Forbidden Spells lesson. It was late at night and Barty was on his way to his bedroom, cursing Moody's wooden leg. It made traveling a lot harder and longer. But his mood brightened when he saw the blonde hair of Daiki in the distance.

"Hey!" he called, and grinned at the guard when the guy turned around to look at him.

"Got a minute?"

Apparently, Daiki had, because he walked towards Barty, hands in his pockets.

"Hello," greeted Daiki. Barty wasn't in the mood to exchange pleasantries, so he used the gruff voice and reputation of Moody to barge right into what he wanted to know.

"Do you know what I used to do?"

Daiki shrugged and looked at a point past Barty. "No idea."

"I was an Auror," said Barty. The guard didn't react in any discernable way, so he explained: "Someone who hunts Dark wizards. I was one of the best. I can sense Dark objects from quite some distance."

"Oh," grunted Daiki. Then he slumped as he realized what direction Barty wanted to take this in. "_Oh_."

"Yes. I've retired, but that developed sense never goes away. So..." Barty let the silence dangle until the guard responded:

"You sensed Dark with me."

Barty nodded and tried to keep the manic grin from his face. The guard knew, Daiki was aware, Barty could use him and now he had leverage. He managed to keep his solemn expression intact.

"I sensed it when I tried to cast Imperio on you. Something Dark prevented it. Since Dumbledore trusts you, I'll give you an opportunity to explain yourself."

He used the full effect of the glass eye to bore straight into Daiki's mask, and underneath the wood and paint he saw a resigned face, a sad look. It didn't suit the guy.

"The Dark thing... is inside me. But I control it, don't worry. I will not let him take control."

_Him_, eh? It sounded like Daiki had been possessed at one point, and a lingering image remained inside him, occasionally bursting out. He wanted to grab the boy and shake him until all the answers poured out, but he restrained himself to talking and asking questions.

"This _thing_ you speak of, what is it?"

Barty crossed his fingers. Please let it be powerful, something he could harness for the Master.

"It's a... I don't know the word... evil ghost?"

Barty ran through all the possible creatures the guard could mean with those words, and he finally settled for: "Ghoul? You can control the powers of a ghoul?"

"Yes," said Daiki slowly, "I think it's a ghoul."

But Barty shook his head. "No, it felt different. More malicious, more chaotic Dark magic. Perhaps a strong poltergeist."

Daiki floundered under all these strange words, and Barty made a mental note to dumb the next conversation down. The glass eye picked up three seventh-year students walking together, bound to cross their paths. He cursed the seventh-years and their way-too-late curfew.

"I'm sorry, I left the dictionary in my room," said Daiki. "I'll search the word. But I control it."

Daiki's gaze was fierce and subconsciously he raised a hand to cover his stomach, Bary noted. He nodded at him. "Dumbledore also knows of this?"

"Yes."

"Carry on, then. Thank you for the information."

Barty inclined his head at Daiki.

"No problem. Take care, that's the right word, yes?"

Barty smiled a crooked smile at the guard and they each went their separate way.

* * *

[1] Water style jutsu

[2] Hand to hand combat


	8. Flying and demons

**Edit**: Thanks to Kitsuneluvuh, Cindar and LadyTeldra hopefully this chapter now makes more sense. Thanks for reviewing and pointing it out!

* * *

Harry usually didn't pay attention to what the guards did or did not receive by owl. But one morning in October Fox sat at the Gryffindor breakfast table with Crow sitting opposite. When the owls arrived, five of the school owls landed between them. At first, Fox shooed them away. But after a Gryffindor student pointed out that the owls carried packages, Fox seemed to brighten. He beckoned one of the owls closer and tore a small package from the owl's leg. The owl flew away, clipping Fox's ear with its wing, not amused that Fox had ignored it. But the guard focused so hard on his package he barely noticed.

Crow took the rest of the packages from the owls and piled them in front of Fox. Fox himself was busy unwrapping the package, and within seconds he expertly held several peculiar knives in his hands. The light from the enchanted ceiling made them gleam. They looked new, and Fox made happy noises as he carefully inspected them.

He put them on the table when Crow handed him a roll of paper. Fox quickly unrolled it and for once he sat still as he read the unfamiliar characters scribbled on the scroll. Well, 'scribbled', Harry mused, it looked more like 'drawn painstakingly with loving precision'. It was like comparing a doodle on parchment to the paintings in Hogwarts. Fox laughed happily and passed the scroll on to Crow to read while Fox tore into another package.

The whole Gryffindor table looked on by now, curious as to what kind of packages Fox had received all of a sudden.

"Why now, of all times?" asked Ron, and Hermione shrugged.

"Maybe it's his birthday?"

Harry nodded but kept his eyes on Fox. That was a logical explanation for all the packages, and the fact that the knives looked brand new. The second package contained some kind of food. Fox actually cried out in joy and hugged the food to his chest.

"Ramen!" he announced to the world, and the food containers cracked under the force of the hug. A symbol was painted on the side of the containers, along with some messages written in marker.

Crow had read the scroll and tried to open up one of the packages. Fox quickly plucked the package from Crow's hands and scolded him, if his tone was anything to judge by. Crow crossed his arms and looked away, but he stayed seated. He had pushed his breakfast aside when the owls arrived, but now he resumed eating it. Or at least, portions of it disappeared, so Harry assumed that he ate it.

The third package looked smaller than the previous two, but when Fox opened it, something unfolded and spread out on the table. It was of dark red color, and when Fox held it up to examine it, Harry saw black flames donned the hem of the robe-like cloth. Fox stood up, shook off the black robe and put on the red coat. It was short-sleeved, with some characters embroidered on the sleeves.

With much enthusiasm Fox dove back into the growing pile of wrapping paper and uncovered a square package. When he opened it, it finally showed something Harry could read.

'English for dummies'.

Crow snorted and Fox quickly laid the book on the table and resumed opening other packages.

The fourth package was some sort of care-package, with potions, teas and rolled-up wads of paper, along with some obnoxiously orange towel and a tiny book. This one was a mix of the unfamiliar characters and the words 'English' and 'dictionary' so Harry didn't need Hermione to figure out what the contents of the book would be.

The fifth and last package was the most mysterious one of all. It was square, and when Fox unwrapped it, it looked like an empty book with a green cover. The cover was blank, and when Fox flipped through it all the pages were blank as well. Not even writing lines adorned the paper. It looked like a drawing dummy. Fox turned it over and over, but finally Crow had had enough of it. He plucked the book from Fox's hands and laid it in front of him. He did something with his fingers and said: "kai". The book disappeared in a puff of smoke and when it reappeared its entire contents had changed.

Instead of a drab green color, the cover was now bright orange and showed a photograph, judging by the gleam of the light on the paper.

Harry couldn't see anything else, because both Crow and Fox scrambled to cover up the book with anything they laid their hands on. Fox laughed when the book was covered up in wrapping paper and got up from the table.

"Is it your birthday?" asked one of the students, and Fox nodded enthusiastically.

"Yeah! I did think not that I would get stuff, but I'm happy I got them," he said in his broken English.

"He could use that 'English for dummies' book," said Ron in a stage whisper, and several Gryffindors around them laughed.

"Sorry for disturbing your breakfast," said Crow in much better English. The next second his hands got stuffed with several food containers. Harry spotted Fred and George grin at each other, and within seconds they began to sing 'Happy birthday to you'.

Fox didn't know what to do with that. He just stood there, arms full of presents. When the twins (and others who had joined in) were finished, he said in a strange tone:

"Thank you."

His voice sounded solemn, unlike his previous bursts of joy. But within seconds that mood returned, and Fox actually skipped when he left the Great Hall with his arms filled with presents, his new red cloak swishing about. Crow trudged after him in stark contrast with Fox.

When the doors fell shut behind them the Gryffindors started talking amongst themselves.

"We should ask him how old he turned," said Ron enthusiastically, but Hermione threw him a skeptical look.

"Do you really think he's going to fall for that?"

Ron shrugged. "It's worth a shot. Maybe if we got him a present, he'd be so happy he blurts it out."

Harry looked at the doors where the duo had left the room.

"Y'know, that's not a bad idea," he said, but before he and Ron started brainstorming what kind of present to give the guard, Ginny cut in.

"Poor guy," she said, and both boys looked at her in puzzlement. "He must've had a pretty sad life if he becomes this excited over some presents," she clarified.

"And did you see how he reacted when Fred and George sang to him?" Added Hermione.

Harry admitted that was true, but then again, he himself felt pretty excited when his birthday rolled around. Then again, he celebrated his birthday at the Dursleys, and that was enough of a downer to make even a clown depressed. It made birthdays where he actually _got_ something that much better though. Maybe this guy experienced something similar. As far as Harry knew, you didn't grow up that skilled at hand-to-hand fighting without something happening along the road of life.

Harry decided he should try to get to know them better.

* * *

There was one advantage of the Forbidden Forest over the Forest of Death: it wasn't actively trying to kill you. Passively, maybe, but at least not every other tree was booby-trapped.

That's why Naruto liked to explore the forest, making sure to keep to the treetops and slide through it in the way only a Konoha shinobi can, born and raised in a village full of trees, and surrounded by huge forests.

Sasuke sometimes joined him on such excursions, leaving the patrolling to his bunshins. They never went far, in case of an emergency, but at their traveling speed they were able to deeply penetrate the forest nonetheless.

It held all kinds of amazing creatures, ranging from bat-like horses to giant spiders to creatures which looked like a stick insect on steroids. With every venture into the forest, Naruto encountered a new creature, it seemed. And not all creatures were animal-like. There was a whole herd of bow-wielding man-horses, who also spoke English and were often found stargazing. Naruto hadn't approached them yet, but they seemed to be aware of his presence. However, apparently if Naruto didn't disturb them, they didn't disturb him. It was a truce for now, and Naruto intended to keep it that way. He didn't want to look out for arrows fired his way when he took a stroll (or jumping madly from tree to tree like a deranged frog, his definition of a 'stroll').

Sasuke showed little interest for the forest, focusing more on the stupid books and practicing spells whenever he had time off. So Naruto often went alone, sometimes following Giant Fuzzball, sometimes striking out on his own.

Tonight was a night that Sasuke went with him, and together they bounded off through the forest. They didn't follow a particular path, they criss-crossed to areas of the forest Naruto hadn't explored yet. The clouds held the moonlight back, making it harder to see. But that didn't deter them, because the night was otherwise perfect for exploration. It was chilly, but as long as they kept moving they'd be alright.

"See anything interesting?" Naruto called to Sasuke, who didn't answer. Naruto took that as a 'no' and kept on jumping from tree to tree. They were exploring the western part of the forest, an area he wasn't terribly familiar with. But so far all it contained was trees, more trees, the occasional squirrel and some kind of magical weasels, who hissed at them as they jumped on the branch.

They continued like this for another fifteen minutes, and Naruto grew bored. Hitting the hay sounded increasingly appealing to him, and he was about to suggest that to his teammate when a movement in the forest caught his attention. Sasuke had noticed as well and they landed on the same branch, facing the area where they had seen something move.

"What is that?" Whispered Naruto, and in the faint light saw that Sasuke had activated his Sharingan.

Other things Naruto saw in the faint light was a huge, round ... thing crawling past. It smelled like upturned grass and it had a powerful presence, now that they had noticed it. Other than that, it blended in perfectly, the magical residue of the forest masking the strong presence.

"It's a snake," Sasuke whispered back, and hopped a few branches closer. With a swallowed yell of protest Naruto followed him. A snake? Maybe Manda, Orochimaru's summon? And if so, what the hell was it doing in Scotland? And if not, what other kind of huge snake could live in this forest?

"It's not Manda," said Sasuke. "But don't look into its eyes."

With that cryptic remark Sasuke once again left his teammate behind, moving ever closer to the giant snake slithering through the forest. Naruto kept on following him, and with every step the snake's presence grow stronger. It had to be an extraordinary magical snake in order to leak this much chakra. But Naruto felt something tug inside him. Somehow his chakra responded to the snake's.

Something dawned on Naruto. He had felt this a couple of times before, and always in the presence of...

"It's a _bijuu_,[1]" Naruto told Sasuke once he had caught up to him. Skeptical Sharingan-red eyes looked at him, one eyebrow raised.

"There are nine tailed beasts in the world, and they're all accounted for. How do you know it's a tailed beast?"

"Because Kyuubi is reacting to it," Naruto said curtly. He didn't like to remind his teammate that he knew things about tailed beasts that no man should know. Naruto wisely left out the part about Kyuubi howling for the unknown demon's blood. Sasuke took his word at face value and turned back to the long body currently moving out of view. The demon was fast.

"A zero-tail demon it is, then," concluded Sasuke. "It doesn't look as powerful as the three-tailed beast. Should we try to take it out?"

Naruto shook his head. "Nah, it's not doing any harm. The students don't venture this far into the forest, and whoever does is prepared to face strange creatures. I say we let it live, but track its movements to make sure it doesn't get too close."

Sasuke nodded at him. Apparently he had come to the same conclusion and together they began to move back to the castle. They'd investigate the demon more closely when there was more light and when it wasn't time to go to bed.

Still, Naruto wondered how exactly an unknown tailed beast had ended up in the Forbidden Forest. There had to be one hell of a story to tell.

* * *

"Sasuke! Sa-suke!"

Naruto burst into their shared room, but his teammate wasn't there. His clones hadn't spotted Sasuke either, which meant that he either ran around in the Forbidden Forest, or kept away from Naruto for some reason.

But the thing Naruto had discovered was too good to pass up. So he continued his search, calling out for Crow now. After a fruitless ten-minute search, Naruto leaned against the wall and blew out a breath. Stupid Sasuke refused to be found. He'd even looked behind every suit of armor and tapestry, crouching low to look under cabinets in classrooms, but no annoyed teammate showed himself.

Naruto headed for the nearest bathroom to take a quick leak and then resumed his search. He looked out a window to ascertain that the weird things were still out there before ducking inside.

"Oi, idiot," hissed Sasuke's voice from one of the stalls seconds after Naruto had entered.

"Crow? That you?" asked Naruto and walked closer to the stall.

"Like there are any other people speaking our language in this castle," said Sasuke. His voice was strained, as if he was in pain.

"Situation?" asked Naruto in a businesslike tone. Sasuke in pain and letting it show meant something was up. Something serious. It took a long while before Sasuke finally answered, during which Naruto only grew more agitated. He was about to kick down the door to the stall when Sasuke answered.

"... Get me some toilet paper."

Naruto guffawed and laughed, relieved. "_That_'s why you're still in here?"

"Just go," ordered Sasuke, but Naruto felt it was his duty as best rival to wrangle the whole story from Sasuke now.

"Talk," answered Naruto Sasuke's order, "and then I'll go."

"What the hell is so interesting about running out of toilet paper? Go!"

Naruto crossed his arms defiantly, ignoring his full bladder for the moment. He wished he possessed a tape recorder to have a record of this moment.

"I know you. You religiously check for toilet paper every time you even think of taking a dump."

It took Sasuke another long time to answer.

"I don't even want to know how you know that," he finally said. Naruto heard him curse under his breath. Probably wishing Naruto to hell and back for refusing to go play fetch. Naruto could live with that.

"Look, my body doesn't agree with the food here so well," Sasuke confessed.

Naruto didn't need to hear any more, he filled in the blanks for himself. Sasuke, eating lunch at one of the student's tables. Feeling a painful pang in his stomach, but ignoring it, because that was what Sasuke did. The pangs would come quicker and heavier, and finally even the strong Sasuke would have to give in and go the toilet. Only by now it had gotten a lot worse, and he would run into the first stall he found, without checking for toilet paper first.

"So why not create a bunshin to fetch toilet paper?" questioned Naruto.

"I did," answered Sasuke with a trace of resentment in his voice. "He's sitting in the next stall."

A second Sasuke-like grunt confirmed the statement and Naruto once again burst out laughing. He had been through that, though in Naruto's case ten bunshins had been fighting over one toilet. Because what afflicted the original, afflicted the bunshins.

"Why not expel it?" asked Naruto after he had laughed enough at Sasuke's predicament.

"I already used up chakra by creating it. I can't afford to waste it."

"Fair enough. I'll go help you."

Naruto left Sasuke and the bathroom behind and walked to the adjoined ladies bathroom, making sure that no one was inside first. He contemplated using his Sexy no Jutsu, but it'd be hard to explain the presence of a third, female, guard to the student body. So Naruto slipped inside, fetched a roll and took it back to Sasuke. He threw it over the stall and could finally empty his own bladder. In the corner of his eyes he saw the real Sasuke pass the roll on to his bunshin before heaving a relieved sigh and unlocking the door.

"If you ever-" began Sasuke, but Naruto made a 'blah-blah' gesture with his hand.

"If I ever tell anyone I won't live to see the next day, threats of violence, calling me names, saying 'hn' and walking off, I know."

Sasuke looked at Naruto for a few seconds and Naruto didn't know what to make of the look. Sasuke then pulled down his mask again and Naruto was left wondering. But he stopped Sasuke before he walked away too far.

"Right! I was looking for you!"

Sasuke turned back to Naruto and waited, letting Naruto catch up to him. "You _have_ to come see this, it's amazing!" Naruto tried to pull Sasuke towards the stairs by his sleeve, but Sasuke tore his clothes free from Naruto's grasp.

"Say it, don't drag me," warned Sasuke, but Naruto was undeterred by Sasuke's cold tone.

"They're flying through the air on wooden sticks," he said, and watched as Sasuke's interest was piqued. When Sasuke didn't respond like Naruto wanted (running towards the door in search of these elusive wooden sticks), Naruto gestured for him to follow Naruto.

"Come on, they might still be out there," said Naruto. Sasuke snorted, but ultimately followed Naruto. Quickly Naruto walked through the castle, leading Sasuke towards the strange arena outside the castle. When they arrived, he saw that some students were still at the arena, flying around on their wooden sticks. They threw balls at each other and wore colorful robes in blue and silver.

Naruto enjoyed watching a stumped Sasuke. This was an amazing jutsu, and Naruto saw it first. Predictably, Naruto saw a glint of red in the eye slits of the mask when Sasuke activated his Sharingan.

"Pretty cool, right?" prodded Naruto, but Sasuke didn't answer.

The flying people spotted them, and one student descended and landed in front of them.

"Hi, welcome," said the tall boy as he stepped off the wooden thing. Naruto saw it resembled an old-fashioned broomstick, with real twigs. It had two stirrups, but was otherwise bare. Golden lettering told Naruto it was a Comet 750.

"What are you doing?" asked Naruto curiously, and the boy shrugged.

"Training. Just because the Quidditch cup has been cancelled doesn't mean we have to stop training."

"So this is Quidditch?" asked Sasuke, but the boy shook his head.

"Nah, just some throwing practice. We've got a new Hunter this year and she's leaning too much towards the left. Next year I want to win the Cup, so we train as if there's a match coming."

"Quidditch is played on sticks with balls?" asked Naruto. The boy had to digest that, but finally nodded slowly.

"Simply put, yes, you play Quidditch with balls and while flying on broomsticks. But there are special kinds of balls and all kinds of rules..."

The kid gave them a crash course in the rules of Quidditch, though Naruto lost him around the 'the Beater is a ball which tries to knock players off their broom'. He imagined a massive black ball flying through the air, smashing into people and attempting to kill them. He couldn't have understood that correctly.

Naruto looked up at the practicing students and wanted to see if he could fly a broomstick. It looked like it had already been enchanted, so anybody with a tiny amount of chakra in them should be able to fly one of them. And it also looked a hell of a lot of fun.

Now he needed to convince Sasuke that this wasn't some kind of suicide wish, because if one of those things went wild when he was on it ...

After the boy was finally done with his explanation Naruto cut in.

"Hey, hey, could I fly one of those?" he asked. The perplexed expression the boy gave him probably meant something, but Naruto didn't care. The boy thought for a few seconds.

"I don't see why not. Hold on." He got out his wand and held it high up in the air. "_Accio_ school brooms!"

Naruto looked around, but no brooms appeared. A few seconds later, two brooms floated through the air and stopped in mid-air, hovering next to the boy. He swished his wand and the brooms dropped to the ground.

"Madam Hooch should probably oversee this," said the boy in a conspiring voice, but he wore a smirk, "but I guess once can't hurt. It's not as if you're first years."

Sasuke picked up the broom from the ground, but the boy shook his head.

"You hold your hand over it and say 'up' to make it come to you."

"Thanks, err... what's your name?" asked Naruto.

"Fergal," answered the boy. Naruto held his hand over the broom and said loud and clear: "up!" But the broom didn't budge. Sasuke tried it too but the broom stayed put, no matter how decisive the shinobi said the word. Finally Naruto just bent over and picked it up, and at his touch the broom started to float.

"That's never happened before," said Fergal, but he got back on his own broom and pushed off, hovering two feet in the air above them.

"Hold on, before you start flying, I'll tell my team to move over so you won't get hit by their balls."

When he disappeared Naruto looked at Sasuke. "Think our chakra-"

"We need to touch it to activate the spells inside the broom," interrupted Sasuke. "Maybe if you extend your chakra you can make it come to you, but I think we can fly these things. As long as we touch them."

"What does 'cleansweep' mean?" asked Naruto, indicating the silver lettering on the side of the broom he held. Sasuke looked at his own broom. It read 'Nimbus 1900'.

"Probably a brand name."

Fergal landed next to them, and his eyes shone with delight. "Come on, try them out. Sit on them, push off from the ground and pull the broom towards you. Move it away from you to go down again."

Naruto sat on the broom, but to his surprise he didn't feel hard wood under his butt, but a soft cushion. Surprised he looked over his shoulder, but all he saw was wood.

"A cushioning charm," said Fergal, chuckling when Naruto examined the broom with his hands, patting at the invisible cushion. "Go ahead, try it," encouraged Fergal.

Naruto readied himself, pushed off and immediately came up with ideas how to land safely if this thing dropped out of the sky. But surprisingly the broom worked, and he floated upwards gently, Sasuke by his side.

"Awesome!" he cried.

"Alright, now move the broom away from your body," instructed Fergal, but Naruto had way too much fun to listen to the instructions. He jerked the broom upwards and laughed in exhilaration as the broom listened to his command and shot straight up, gaining speed. The wind whipped through his hair and tore at his mask, but the chakra strands held. Naruto leaned back to stop the ascent, but the broom interpreted that as a command to do a loop-de-loop. Naruto clutched the stick with a death grip, but was still laughing. The world went upside down for a second before the horizon was once again the right way up, but Naruto shot off in the wrong direction before he knew it. In a flash he saw Sasuke and he couldn't help but notice the way Sasuke's mask followed him as he sped by.

"Slow-poke!" he called, and a second later he saw Sasuke also bend over his broomstick and speed up to catch up.

"Wait!" shouted Fergal, but it was no use. Naruto was already out of earshot and the wind deafened him anyhow. His grip on the broomstick was all that kept him tethered to the world of the living. Naruto knew that this ride would probably end bad, because now that he was at top speed he had no idea how to slow down. Or how to steer. And landing was another issue he preferred not to think about at the moment.

The Quidditch pitch and Fergal disappeared from view and now Naruto and Sasuke tore through the air over Hogwarts' grounds, Naruto still shouting things lost to the wind. Carefully he tried to lean right to get the broom to turn around, but he leaned too far too fast and the broom swerved wildly, slipping in the air and making a 90-degree turn. The force with which Naruto held on nearly snapped the broom in half, but the springy wood held. Sasuke was more gentle when he tried to turn around, but at this speed any change in direction was huge. When Naruto once again saw Sasuke, he noticed his teammate had tethered himself to the broom with shinobi wire. That only spurred on new laughs and Naruto made another 90-degree turn, speeding back towards the Quidditch pitch. Inch by inch he sat up, and the broom interpreted that as a signal to slow down. Just like with an ostrich, Naruto reasoned. He had ridden one, and though it had barely listened to his commands, that instinctive reaction made its way into his brain.

Naruto felt more in control now, so he aimed for Fergal and pushed the stick away from him, making the broom go down. His speed was still considerable and only picked up more as he descended, but Naruto knew he could pull up at the last second to make a flashy landing.

Fergal began sprinting away when Naruto came flying down, and it was a good thing he did.

Indeed at the last possible second Naruto jerked the broom towards him and though he aimed for a full-stop, the broom did another loop-de-loop, or more like a summersault_. _Naruto panicked for a second and pushed the broomstick away from him, and that was a mistake. The broom leveled out, flew three feet and then ploughed itself into the ground, flinging Naruto into the air. Up was down and left was right and Naruto landed heavily on the ground and rolled to a stop against the foot of the spectator stands. Not even his shinobi reflexes saved him from that embarrassment. Though Naruto cared less about that at the moment, and more for the splitting pain in his head.

Someone laid his hand on Naruto's shoulder, and the worried voice of Fergal asked: "are you alright?"

Sasuke's voice answered while Naruto dazedly patted the back of his head, looking for blood. "He'll be fine, he's got a hard head."

Naruto's fingers didn't encounter any wetness, though his headache told him otherwise. "How'd you get off?" asked Naruto and blinked up at Sasuke.

"Jumped."

Jumped, concluded Naruto, and rolled. Telltale grass stains marred Sasuke's robes and his hair looked disheveled. About thirty feet from them Naruto's broomstick stood vertical up in the ground and a few feet away Sasuke's broom lay abandoned.

"You're mad! You could've killed yourself!"

Fergal looked at Naruto with wide eyes and a frown, a feat in of itself. Naruto got up and rubbed the sore spot on his skull.

"Nah, I knew what I did."

Sasuke snorted and Naruto wanted to punch him.

"I've never seen anyone fly so bad," said Fergal. "You made 90-degree turns! You plowed right into the ground and couldn't even slow down!"

This time Naruto did punch Sasuke when he snorted, but in the shoulder.

"I know, I know, but still. It was awesome." Naruto smiled his brightest smile, remembered the boy couldn't see it and gave him a thumbs-up instead. "Thanks for letting us fly. Can we come try again later?"

"No!" said Fergal so quickly Naruto had to laugh.

"Don't worry, next time I'll listen to you. I only wanted to see what it could do."

"You're insane," repeated Fergal. "I'm not going to watch you kill yourself." He summoned the brooms and held them under his arm, inspecting the Cleansweeper for any damage. "You're lucky, no damage done. I'm putting these away, and I suggest you stay on solid ground from now on." Without even a goodbye the baffled boy turned around and walked away.

Naruto saw that the Quidditch team had seen the whole thing, but before they descended and shrieked at him Naruto also turned around to spare his headache.

"We have to come back and try that again," concluded Naruto. Sasuke also nodded.

"Though next time, I dare you to make a deeper rut," said Sasuke. Naruto laughed.

"Deal."

* * *

"I think I hear something," said Naruto to one of his clones. The clone also cupped his ear and listened for a few seconds.

"Sounds like something big," he said. "I'll go check it out."

Before the real Naruto could react that of course the clone was going to check it out, he had ordered it to, the clone jumped out of the window and landed on the ground two stories below.

"Here I go," he said, and began running. The sound was deep, rumbling, and he felt it more than he heard it. It made his heart beat irregularly and reminded him of the time he had spent with Ero-sennin in a bar. The bass had been too loud on the speakers and Naruto had been sitting too close to it, which made his entire body thrum along with the music. His heart had been confused by the heavy rhythm and had beat randomly.

Every second he got closer to the source of the rumbling the Naruto-clone heard more sounds coming from that place. High shrieks and angry growls joined the rumbling sound, and something tall came into view.

It was like a Water dragon Jutsu came alive and fell into a lake of green paint. A giant lizard stood on its rear legs and unfolded two equally giant wings. It tried to take to the sky, but chains on its rear legs prevented it from flying off. When the Naruto-clone ran further he spotted humans running about at its feet. Behind the green lizard stood three other lizards, each of them a different color.

The green lizard landed on all fours and simultaneously the wizards showered it with jets of light. The lizard gave out one final moan and toppled over, landing heavily on its side.

"What the hell is that?" he asked rhetorically, since the wizards were too busy subduing the other lizards to pay much attention to him.

"What did you say?" yelled a tall man with a cowboy hat at the clone, and the clone yelled back in English:

"I said: what the hell are those?"

"Dragons, what else? Who are you anyway?"

"I'm the-" he cut himself off mid-yell and simply moved closer to the man with shinobi speed, which startled the man into dropping his wand.

"I'm the guard," he explained. The man hastily picked up his wand and held out his hand. The clone shook it.

"Hank Watson, nice to meet you. I heard they had hired guards at Hogwarts, but I didn't think I'd get to meet you. And so fast, too."

The clone shrugged. "I heard them from the castle. Anyway: dragons?" He waved at the now-sleeping dragons and the man's eyes grew shinier as he explained.

"Dragons, for the first task of the championship. The champ has to get past one. We had to fly them in from all over the world, but I think it's worth it."

Naruto doubted that any of the champions would survive a meeting with a lizard this size. It had at least three huge weapons at its disposal, and little weak points. Maybe a good earth-jutsu might trap it so the artery could be slit, but it would take a while for a beast this big to bleed to death.

A wizard armed only with a wand would be no match. Then again, it wasn't a fight to the death. The wizard had to outsmart an animal. Naruto had no idea how intelligent it was, but big and dumb was a combination he'd come across before.

"Incredible," said Naruto, "any idea how they're gonna do that?"

The man looked at the dragons. "I'd go for the eyes myself, or maybe Confund it somehow. And then run like hell."

Naruto didn't get what the man meant by 'confund', but there were more pressing matters.

"You have everything under control here?" he asked, and Hank made a broad gesture towards the peacefully sleeping dragons.

"As you can see. We've got a whole team here, so there's no extra work for you. Though you're welcome to drop by any time."

Naruto eyed the twitching lizards and mentally decided that although the dragons _were_ cool, it seemed like a lot of animals he came across didn't like him. These animals were ones that might be capable of hurting him. Maybe Sasuke was a better candidate for keeping an eye on these new dangers.

"Thank you, I'll do that," said Naruto pleasantly, and turned around after making sure the dragons were asleep. The moment he turned around, he heard something woosh in the air towards him.

His senses immediately went into high alert and he swirled around, ready to defend himself if necessary. A wall of yellowred fire moved towards him at insane speed, and before he could even twitch his body was engulfed.

The Naruto-clone felt its tiny amount of chakra drain away as the fire bit into his skin, and he uttered a brief scream before disappearing forever.

The real Naruto jerked to a halt in the middle of a corridor. Huge lizards breathing fire?

"I'd better tell Sasuke," muttered Naruto, and set off on a trot down the corridor. Hopefully Hank wouldn't be too freaked out by the disappearance of the clone.

"And good luck, champs," said Naruto to the empty corridor, before disappearing inside the shared bedroom.

* * *

[1] Tailed beast

**A/N:** I wanted to write about broomsticks, but ended up with toilet humor instead. I love my brain.

A glimpse into my writing process: This is the original scene description where Naruto sends out a clone to find the dragons: Naruto meets dragon. Naruto-clone goes poof.

And the rest writes itself. Simple, no? *winks heavily*


	9. Discovery

During the usual arrival of the owls, a grey-specked owl headed for Harry. He recognized it as one of the school owls. His mind stumbled over thoughts who would send him a rectangular parcel. But then the owl changed directions at the last second and landed clumsily on the table, spilling Hermione's pumpkin juice. Harry snorted a laugh when he saw why.

Someone had taped a parcel to the bird's legs with tape, and the tape had wrapped itself around both legs. It was a miracle the owl was able to stand at all, let alone deliver a parcel.

"Ah, good, it's here," said Hermione contentedly and freed the poor owl from the parcel. The owl hooted its annoyance at her and held out its leg. With a muttered apology she pried the remaining tape from its legs and quickly the owl flew off, leaving behind a mess of pumpkin juice and tape. And the parcel, of course.

It came as no surprise to Harry that the parcel turned out to be a book.

A Muggle book, to be precise. The cover of the book showed a map, along with the words "Secluded world". Hermione made some interested noises and turned it over in her hands, reading the backside.

Ron eyed the book curiously. "Is that a Muggle book?" he asked, and Harry nodded, since Hermione was already lost in her own little world.

"Yeah, it's a travel guide," he explained.

"_Why_ do you have a travel guide to..." Ron tried to read the subtitle, but Hermione's hands covered it. She snapped out of her reading and held the book up for Harry and Ron to see.

"To the hidden countries," she said. Ron took a bite from his toast before asking:

"Let me rephrase: why do you have a _Muggle_ traveling guide to the hidden countries?"

Hermione shrugged. "Wizards aren't the only ones who can write books, you know. Muggles travel to the hidden countries, and since the library has little books about them, I figured I'd try looking in books from the Muggle world."

Harry admitted that was pretty smart of her. Trust a Muggle-born to come up with that plan.

"My mom found a great book about their customs and language," Hermione continued, "so I asked her to owl it to me."

Ron nodded sagely.

"Ah, so that's why the book was bound to the owl by eceltrical tape," he said. Harry and Hermione looked at each other.

"Err, Ron, that's just regular tape," explained Harry. "And it's 'electric'." It was Ron's turn to shrug.

"Dad only has electrical tape, and he tries to use it on everything. Mom goes nuts every time she has to clean up the adhesive he leaves behind."

"I see," said Harry slowly, conjuring up scenes with an overenthusiastic mr. Weasley trying to figure out what electrical tape was for, covering the Ford Anglia with it, wrapping it around pens... A pity mr. Weasley didn't have electricity, so the mystery of the electrical tape would be everlasting.

"At any rate..." said Hermione, but let the end of her sentence taper off when her eye fell on an interesting sentence in the book.

Harry and Ron were used to this by now, so they started up a conversation about why the Chudley Cannons would have a far better chance at the British Championship than the Westridge Wasps.

* * *

"I can't believe I'm saying this... But this Muggle book actually offers good information!"

In a split second you saw who was a Muggle-born (or Muggle-raised) wizard, and who wasn't. The ones who were threw an annoyed glare at Ron, who had thrown out the remark in the common room.

"Of _course_ Muggle books contain good information," hissed Hermione. "Not our fault that your dad only has outdated books on car maintenance."

Ron wanted to look insulted, but the text drew him in again. It was a rare thing to see Ron reading of his own volition, but the lazy evening gave room to boredom, which made way for reading as Ron had grabbed the book from Hermione's pile.

Ginny knew that her brother had accidentally destroyed his bookcase, but that didn't matter, since he owned little books apart from his schoolbooks. But the Muggle book with its shiny cover and tantalizing title had offered enough of a distraction in the lone, dark hours of the winter evening.

And now he read out loud from it, to whoever would listen. Ginny put down her own schoolwork. This might turn out to be interesting.

"Listen up: there are several ranks of ninja in a hidden village. Their names vary throughout the country, but there are three levels recognized all across the hidden countries: the gee-nin, the choo-nin and the j-jauo-nin? Higher and lower levels exist, but each hidden country has their own name for them.

Each rank gets their own privileges, mission pay and sometimes uniform. A ninja must first pass an exam before moving upwards. Demotion is uncommon, but can be used as a punishment for failing a mission.

A ninja shows their rank through various means. Clothing plays a large part. Capes, green vests, hats, all can signify the rank. Sometimes the rank is shown through body decorations such as tattoos or piercings. Some hidden countries change the honorifics behind a person's name, or even change the name of a person entirely."

"I wonder what rank our guards are," wondered Ginny out loud.

"Wait a sec, read that sentence about the clothes again," requested Hermione, and Ron obliged.

"Green vests!" said Ron and Harry at the same time, and Harry made a dash for Ron's chair, reading over his friend's shoulder.

"They both have those bulky green vests, maybe that's what the book is talking about?"

Ron re-read the sentence again and again, but shook his head.

"Doesn't say," he said, and handed the book over to an eager Harry. He flipped through the pages, too fast to read anything.

Ginny got up and joined the boys, homework momentarily forgotten. They could actually find some real info on the guards! Gently she lifted the book from Harry's fingers and flipped through it herself, though at a far slower pace. It didn't take long for her to find the description of how ninja of the five great countries showed their rank.

"Here, it says: 'Choo-nin: green vest. Jauo-nin: green vest.' That's hardly any help."

The book offered a tiny picture of a mannequin wearing one of those bulky green vests, along with blue pants and a blue sweatshirt. Exactly the uniform the guards sometimes wore.

"At least we know they're not gee-nin," said Ron, and took the book back from Ginny. She wasn't done with it, and she yelped in protest. But since Ron was her big brother, she couldn't do anything to him, apart from hexing him to hell and back. Which she wasn't going to do, because, well, he was her big brother.

"Of course they're not gee-nin, guarding Hogwarts is too dangerous to leave it to the lowest-ranked," said Hermione with a sigh.

"We'll have to ask them whether they're choo-nin or jauo-nin," said Harry, but Hermione shook her head.

"They'll want to know how we know those ranks, and then they'll confiscate this book."

Ron didn't see a problem with that, judging by his smirk.

"But you probably have memorized the book by now, right?"

Hermione's headshake wiped the smirk off his face faster than eating a vomit-flavored Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Bean.

"I haven't had the time to properly read it yet," she said. Ron quickly looked at the portrait hole, as if the guards were going to burst through it any moment now and rip the precious book to shreds.

"We could try to ask them and not reveal our source," tried Ron, but Ginny snorted at that. Sadly she'd opted out of the Duelling class. With all the stories floating around about that class, she regretted it ever since. It was hard work, she'd been told, and the guards demonstrated a different approach towards teaching.

Still, she'd heard some stories about their attitude.

"They'd wring it out of you in under four minutes," she said in a flat tone. Harry's facial muscles worked hard to suppress a smirk, but Ron caught it nonetheless.

"What, you agree with her?"

"No," tried Harry, but now that Ron had been insulted he wouldn't let it drop.

"Watch me, I'll ask them and not reveal my source."

Hermione sighed as Ron flipped through the pages, muttering under his breath.

"I'd better read it before the guards confiscate it," she said, and Ginny suppressed another smirk.

* * *

"So, are you a chuu-nin ninja or jaounin ninja?"

The question Ron had asked so casually hung in the air like a divide between two worlds. Ron tried not to act nervous or intimidated by the dual masks staring at him. He wished they would answer already, so he could gloat to his friends that he hadn't revealed the source of their information.

"How do you know those words?" asked Crow menacingly, and advanced towards Ron.

"Read it," said Ron as casual as the first question. He hoped. Crow took another step.

"The books in this library have no information on those words," countered Crow. Ron's mind worked a mile a minute as he thought of what Hermione would say.

"Doesn't have to be a library book. There _are_ book stores out there, you know."

He tried his hardest not to take a step back when Crow moved closer once again, but thankfully Fox intervened. He walked over and put a hand on Crow's shoulder. To Ron's delight he saw that they wore the green vests today, making this all the easier.

"We're Chuunin," said Fox in a proud tone. "And don't call us 'ninja'. It's insulting to us, like we call you 'magicians' or, I dunno, 'stick figures'." Crow whirled and looked Fox in the eye, or as much in the eye as possible with those impossible tiny slits for eyes. He hissed something, but Fox ignored it.

"Please don't spread those words around. And this book... did other people read it?"

Ron shrugged, still trying to act as nonchalant as possible.

"Some friends and my sister. But I promise I won't let other people read it," he hurried to add when Crow's glare focused on him again. "And I know it because the book said something about a green vest and we figured that you always wear green vests so we thought you might be chuu-nin or a jaounin but we weren't sure."

Ron cursed at himself. Stupid Crow's glare, he intimidated Ron way too much. He had lasted even less than four minutes. But then again, he hadn't revealed the title of his source.

"Do not let those words leak out," said Crow, "and do not mention this to anyone. Or I will find your bed."

Crow left the threat dangling and Ron thought that might be a good time to exit stage left.

"Yeah, no prob, it won't happen again. I mean: ever. It will not."

He backed up and when a corner prodded at his back he fled into the corridor, leaving the scary guard behind. That had been dangerous. But at least he knew their ranks now, maybe Hermione could order some more books about that village and they could finally start unraveling the mystery of the guards.

* * *

Naruto had been unusually quiet the entire patrol, but Sasuke didn't mind. He was fighting a cold and didn't want to gain another headache through his teammate's way too loud talking. So when Naruto spoke all of a sudden, Sasuke gave him more attention than usual.

"We've got a cat-stalker."

"What, that small stringy cat?"

That bothered Naruto? It had been stalking them for some time now, but Sasuke paid it little heed. Until it grew poison fangs and gained a few feet, it'd remain that way. Naruto looked back over his shoulder to the cat, who all of a sudden decided that it had to wash itself. Typical cat behavior. But Sasuke knew that this cat had more intelligence than the average shinobi (Naruto being the example he based this on), and he suspected some sort of summoning contract between the janitor and the cat. Naruto glared at it and smirked.

"I think it belongs to that civilian janitor. Wanna see what happens if I -"

"No, I don't," interrupted Sasuke. "In fact, I'll be over here, oblivious to what you're doing over there."

Naruto stuck out his tongue. Always the mature one.

"Party pooper. Go hide in a closet, scaredy cat."

"Truly the master of insults," scoffed Sasuke. "If you wish to scare a cat, go right ahead."

The cat annoyed him too, but not enough to go after it. The janitor would find out, and it'd compromise the mission. But as long as Sasuke was on the other side of the castle, he could claim ignorance and let his teammate deal with the fallout. Naruto felt he had to justify his desire, because words kept on coming from his mouth.

"I don't like the way it stares at me. As if I've done something wrong by walking here."

"Well- " began Sasuke, but Naruto interrupted him.

"Don't, Sasuke. People've looked like that at me all my life, and now I can do something about it."

Ah. The guy went down that path again.

"… Fine, go scare your damn cat."

Throw him a bone, else Sasuke would have a sulky Naruto on his hands. And he didn't want that one bit, not when an interesting book waited for him back at their room. Sasuke could picture the foxy grin growing behind Naruto's mask.

"I will scare my damn cat. Not my cat, but, you know," Naruto said, and abruptly turned around. Sasuke made good on his escape and ignored the surprised cry from the cat. Time to not be here.

* * *

"Give me your wand."

It was a command, but Naruto was used to not following those, so he made a rude gesture and continued reading the scroll. Sasuke scowled. He had read about the _Priori Incantatem_-spell, and he wanted to test it out. But to do that he needed another wand. And since Naruto was the closest (and the only one who in this place who he could trust)...

"I said: give me your wand." Sasuke didn't like repeating himself, especially when he asked his teammate for help. Why was Naruto being so stubborn? He asked, demanded, it nice enough. No insults or anything.

"It's for a spell," explained Sasuke, but that didn't convince Naruto either. Another thing Sasuke didn't like was being ignored, like Naruto did to him right now.

"Give me your wand before I come over there and take it."

His tone grew more threatening, but still no reaction. Well, he had warned him...

Sasuke swiftly jumped up on his bed, bent his knees and pounced. Naruto was on to him, but reacted a second too late, and they both went tumbling down onto the hard, stone floor.

"I think I broke something," groaned Naruto and coughed weakly. Sasuke didn't buy that for one second. He rifled through his teammate's pockets to see if he kept his wand there, but stopped when his hands didn't encounter anything wand-like.

"Do you even have it on you?" asked Sasuke, but Naruto coughed once more for added effect. Sasuke allowed himself the luxury of an eyeroll before flipping his teammate on his back and standing over him. It'd be more threatening if he wasn't already wearing his nightshirt, but he let his killing intent dress him.

"Last time, Naruto. Where. is. your. wand."

"Or what? You're gonna pummel me some more? I quiver, lord Sasuke."

Naruto's words rang true. They beat each other up at least twice a week, if not more often, so any threat of bodily harm was useless. But Sasuke had knowledge something Naruto hadn't bothered learning about... Magic.

With a wicked grin Sasuke pulled out his own wand and aimed it at his teammate. Naruto grew still, and Sasuke almost saw the (rusty, rusty) gears in his head turning. Naruto had seen Sasuke perform magic before, and learnt about the effect of spells through his bunshins. So if Sasuke pointed his wand at him... He could do stuff. Nasty stuff. And Naruto had no defense. With a dramatic sigh he relented.

"It's in the leg pouch on my pants."

Sasuke smirked, stepped off him and then proceeded to ignore all of Naruto's questions. He finally had Naruto's wand in his hands, and tapped it with his own wand. Carefully he redirected his chakra flow, and said clearly: _"Priori incantatem_."

Some smoke drifted upwards, but then poofed out of existence. Sasuke scowled. That wasn't supposed to happen. Did he do something wrong? He repeated this process three times, but all he got was smoke with no discernible shape. Annoyed he looked up at Naruto, who had taken the opportunity to climb back onto his bed.

"Have you even used your wand?" Sasuke asked in an annoyed tone, and Naruto grinned sheepishly.

"Maybe, kinda, err - no, I haven't."

At Sasuke's raised eyebrows, Naruto felt he had to defend himself.

"It takes way too precise chakra control! And you know I suck at that. Besides, half the spells you try melt something or blow up in your face. Why would I want that to happen to me?"

"Maybe because there are tons of useful spells?"

Sasuke knew that Naruto often needed an example before he got a concept, so he pondered over what was important to Naruto.

"You can make water boil in an instant, for example."

Sasuke let that sink in for three seconds, and then Naruto got it. With a wide grin he commented: "So... I can make true instant ramen then? No more waiting three minutes?" Naruto managed to keep it in for another three seconds before he burst.

"TEACH ME!"

"You're always thinking with your stomach, aren't you? Don't answer, it was rhetorical," added Sasuke when Naruto opened his mouth. "Though I don't know the spell from the top of my head, I'm sure we can find it in the library, somewhere."

"To the library!"

"Not now, idiot." Sasuke grabbed Naruto by the back of his nightshirt, to stop his teammate from marching off and finding this elusive spell right now. "Tomorrow morning," he ordered, and Naruto dove back into bed, a wide grin still on his face.

"Fine. But early. Damn, I miss Ichiraku ramen..."

He murmured in his pillow, and turned his back to Sasuke. Sasuke shook his head at his teammate's obsession with ramen and settled down for the night as well. He hoped tomorrow Naruto wouldn't whine too much that doing magic was too hard.

* * *

"I want one."

Sasuke didn't even bother looking confusedly at Naruto. He just kept walking. In due time, his idiot teammate would explain himself. He slowly counted to three in his head and on the third number Naruto opened his mouth.

"One of those small elves with those huge ears," said Naruto, and indicated something about a foot high. Sasuke didn't want to get dragged into this conversation, but he couldn't help correcting Naruto's lack of knowledge of this world.

"An _house-elf_," said Sasuke, saying the word in English. He didn't bother translating it for Naruto.

"Houself? Alright, then I want one of those _houselfs_."

"Why," said Sasuke blandly, "do you want one?"

Even behind the mask Sasuke saw Naruto's 'duh' face. "Because they do like, _everything_ for you! Imagine all the extra time you'd free up if someone else did your housework for you."

Sasuke briefly daydreamed of one of those tiny creatures scurrying in his house, cleaning his clothes, cooking, doing the dishes... always chattering away, disturbing the sanctity of his home...

"I prefer to at least _act_ like I'm an adult, with adult responsibilities. I know that that must be very hard for you."

Naruto briefly clenched his fists, but his desire to talk was greater than his desire to fight. For now. "All the time better spent training," said Naruto, playing his trump card. But Sasuke preferred doing his own chores and not have one of those noisy house-elves in and around his house.

"Shut up," said Sasuke instead. "Or at least lower your ridiculously loud volume. We're in a library."

Naruto scoffed. "Yeah, we just walked in and-"

"Shush!" screamed Madam Pince, and glared at them with her lidded eyes. She and Naruto got along like the floor and the ceiling of a room: best to be kept apart. She had tried to kick them out a few times, but Sasuke had let some killing intent seep out and the old lady withered and build herself a fort out of her precious books, leaving a tiny hole to glare through at them and the students.

"You don't even know _where_ to get an house-elf," said Sasuke at a much lower volume, heading for a shelf full of spell books. He needed some more tips on how to control an Wind-spell, because his supposed powerful hurricane was a small breeze. Since he had a lot of control over fire, he thought it best to focus his wandwork on elements he hadn't mastered yet, to cover more bases. But that wasn't easy.

"Sure I know where to get one. From the kitchens. I walk up to an houself, and ask if it wants to live with me."

"That sounds like you're proposing to one. Before you know it, you'll have tiny ugly house-human-elf hybrids."

Sasuke imagined the screwed up face Naruto pulled right now. And, sure enough: "First of all: ew. Second: what the hell kind of pervert do you think I am? Third: ew."

"You just admitted you're a pervert," said Sasuke as he pulled a book on wind spells from the shelf. This looked interesting. Naruto sputtered before coming up with a reply. But before he graced the world with his brilliance once more, a female voice interrupted their bickering.

"Excuse me, were you talking about house-elves?"

Both shinobi turned around and Sasuke recognized the girl as one of the special charge's friends. A bag full of books weighed her down, and it looked like she just walked into the library too.

"Yes, we were," answered Naruto truthfully. Sasuke knew he should have translated the word, so the girl hadn't heard and understood part of their discussion. One word of it anyhow.

"He wants one," said Sasuke, jerking his thumb towards his teammate.

"Yeah, yeah, you know how I get one?" asked Naruto hopefully, but they both realized that was a mistake when rage grew on the girl's usually pretty face.

"You do realize that you're talking about _enslaving an intelligent BEING_?"

If she had x-ray vision, she'd be looking at two surprised faces. Sasuke's expression remained only a second before he once again schooled his controlled blank mask back into place, but it was enough.

"Err, no?" tried Naruto, but the girl had barely started ranting.

"The whole wizarding community treats them like they're the lowest of the low, just because they're brainwashed into thinking they _like_ working themselves to death. And for what? For lazy wizards who don't even have the decency to provide them with pay, health insurance, or even some shred of dignity. They're slaves, pure and simple. And now you want to _get one_?"

"I think one may like-"

"Like? They have nothing to say about their own fates! They're left to the fickle needs of the wizards. And if they get old, they get discarded and _die_ in the gutter."

"Shush!" yelled Madam Pince at them again, but none of them paid her any heed.

"I'm working on freeing them, making them see that there are better things in life than working and slaving away over a hot stove, in return for no gratitude. I suggest you join S.P.E.W., because they make your bed, light your fire, cook your food. The least you can do is give them their _freedom_."

"I only want-"

But Naruto didn't get a word in edgewise. The girl resembled Chouji on his way to barbeque. No matter what kind of obstacle stood in her way, it'd get flattened and rolled over to surrender. Quick as lightning the girl whipped a donation tin from her bag and held it under Naruto's nose. "I'm using the donations to raise awareness of the house-elf situation in Britain, and to buy wool to create clothes, so they can be free."

The last part didn't make any sense to Sasuke, but the girl was far from stupid. Probably some weird magic law. Naruto looked from the donation tin to the girl. "I don't have any of your money," he said. Which was partially true. They still had some money somewhere in the room, but they'd spent a lot of it already when they visited Hogsmeade. That didn't deter her in the slightest.

"Alright, then you can donate some of your money and I can exchange it later on," she said.

"Will you leave me alone then?" he asked, and the girl seemed insulted, but nodded nonetheless. Relieved, Naruto took his frog wallet from his pouch and selected an amount which wouldn't even get you the time of day in this country. The girl had no idea what their currency was worth, at any rate. With flourish Naruto dropped the coins in the tin and Sasuke decided it was time to leave before the girl would come after him.

"Hey, isn't that Victor Krum?" he asked in a forced curious tone, and when she turned her back, he used the _kawarimi_ technique to book it out of there. He clutched the book on water spells in his hand and realized he hadn't officially checked it out. One more thing for Madam Pince to hate him for couldn't hurt.

"Hey!" he heard her yell, and the subsequent "shush!" made him smirk. Evasion: success.

* * *

Before Naruto even opened his mouth, Sasuke held up his hand.

"Do you remember the conversation we had about sentences I never wanted to hear from you again?"

"How could I forget. You dangled me above an active volcano until I repeated everything you said."

Naruto shuddered as he recalled that particular memory. Sasuke's face had looked like that fateful battle at the Valley of the End, only this time Sasuke had the upper hand in the fight.

"So you remember the two phrases I particularly never want to hear from you again. For completeness sake, repeat them for me, please."

Sasuke's hand-position indicated that he could easily start a Chidori and make contact with Naruto in the time it took to hurl something out of a window, while you're standing right next to the window and the object hurled is something light, like a feather duster. Sadly, the average human body is heavier than a feather duster. So Naruto thought it no problem to answer and avoid bodily harm, if at all possible when Sasuke was in a mood like this.

"Let me think, they were ... 'here Sasuke, I baked you a cake', and the other one was ..."

Naruto's mind drew a blank. Oh crap. Sasuke looked less than amused, and advanced on Naruto. The blonde shinobi subtly felt around for the doorknob, which had to be somewhere behind his back.

"The other one was ... Wait, I remember!" cried Naruto relieved. "It was 'it seemed like a good idea at the time'!"

Sasuke's hand dropped from its Chidori-enhanced position and the owner of the hand smirked. "And what phrase seems appropriate for this situation?"

"Err... 'it seemed like a good idea at the time'?"

"Correct. So don't ever come in here again, ready to utter that phrase. Because I _will_ kill you and bury the remains at the foot of the Hokage tower. And then piss on them."

Sasuke turned his back to Naruto and vaguely waved a hand in the general direction of the upper floors.

"So get those floppy rabbit ears removed at the Hospital Wing, and don't come back until they're gone. Or I _will_ punch you in the face. And then piss on you."

Naruto wanted to snipe something back, but the duck-butt hair on the back of his teammate's head convinced him otherwise. Sasuke was, for some reason, pissed off at him. Since Naruto had run patrols all day and for a good portion of the night, he was exhausted, and for once getting in a brawl with Sasuke wasn't worth it.

He located the doorknob and silently disappeared out of the door. He hoped that Madam Pomfrey would be more accommodating in removing the fluffy bunny ears he had acquired.

Back in the room, Sasuke breathed freely, and slowly rolled up his right sleeve. He cursed when the chameleon scales were still there, where they now flared a deep red in accordance with his mood. Stupid human transfiguration, it was all way too complicated for him.

He didn't even want to know how Naruto managed to gain rabbit ears, no matter how astounding it was that Naruto had managed to do anything considered 'magic'. It only made the potential for mischief and larking about grow exponentially.

And there was one thing he never wanted to hear from Naruto again: 'it seemed like a good idea at the time'. Especially not mixed with magic.

* * *

A/N: In a crack-ficcy mood I added 'in my pants' to every sentence of the scene where Sasuke tackles Naruto. The results are rather... I'm sure SasuNaru fans enjoy it, but judge for yourself and hit up my LJ, found via the 'home page' link on my profile. There you can find some more deleted scenes.


	10. Nightmares

**A/N: **Got a long one for you this time, 8000 words by my count. Enjoy!

* * *

"Not so precious now, Potter?"

Naruto heard that blonde Slytherin kid's voice drift upwards through the staircase, but he paid it little heed. The student's rivalries were annoying but not their concern. The blonde kid was tenacious though, admitted Naruto. But since he knew Sasuke tailed the Potter-kid today, he didn't storm down to break up the fight.

"Where's the other guard? Has the little boy run off looking for his mommy?"

Low blows, and not terribly witty either.

"Why don't we test if the guards have taught you anything, shall we? _Ruptispecktis_!"

A flash and a bang later Naruto sprinted down the stairs, cursing the round staircase, which meant he couldn't see what had gone down. He heard wild laughter coming from the blonde kid (Malfoy was his name, Naruto remembered). His two goons cackled at a much lower pitch.

Harry Potter and his pals were silent, and that worried Naruto. Three more seconds and he'd be there.

"Let your guard down?" Malfoy howled at his own joke.

Naruto burst from the staircase and his eyes immediately focused on the lone figure sitting on his haunches on the ground. Naruto's heart skipped a beat and he pushed the thoughts of immediate death out of his head.

Sasuke.

Potter and his pals slowly advanced on Sasuke, but they looked unsure as what to do. Malfoy still chuckled, but the red-haired kid (Remi?) looked pissed and worried at the same time. He didn't quite pull it off though.

"What happened?" Naruto demanded with his Serious Voice and Hermione answered.

"Malfoy came out of nowhere and said he wanted to test if you had taught us anything regarding defense. Then he shot a spell at Harry, but Crow pushed him out of the way and got hit instead. I think the spell targets the eyes but I'm not sure. We have to get him to the hospital wing. Madam Pomfrey can fix it for sure."

It took a few seconds before Naruto processed all that and translated it to a plan in his brain. Malfoy and his gang had wisely scattered before they had to face the wrath of the guard. That left Harry, Hermione and the red-haired kid Naruto was just going to call Remi hovering over a kneeling Sasuke, who had removed his mask and pressed his palms to his eyes.

The kids were afraid to touch him it seemed, and that was a wise approach. An injured shinobi is an incredibly dangerous shinobi. Naruto carefully approached Sasuke, letting his footsteps echo through the dungeons and he let his presence be known through his raised chakra levels.

He knelt next to Sasuke and laid a hand on his shoulder. "Can you see?" he asked in a soft voice. Sasuke shook his head but kept his hands pressed to his eyes. He didn't utter a word.

"What about your … red eyes?"

Naruto avoided naming the Sharingan. For all he knew, the library in this place had a book on that, and the girl was smart enough to pick out their jutsu names (or bloodline limits) from the jumble of syllables their native tongue must be to foreigners.

But Sasuke shook his head again. "Hurts," he said and that was reason enough for Naruto to hoist Sasuke up and force one arm over his shoulders. With his other hand Sasuke covered his eyes against the light, but Naruto saw the skin around his eyes was red and puffy. His eyes started to water too, judging by the tears that made their way down Sasuke's cheeks.

There was no way Sasuke would allow himself to be carried, so Naruto made do with supporting him. And if Sasuke admitted that activating the Sharingan hurt too much, something had gone horribly wrong.

"You know a shortcut to the hospital wing?" Naruto asked the Golden Trio and Harry nodded.

"This way." He swiftly walked towards a nondescript part of the wall. Remi sidled up to Naruto.

"Need a hand?" he asked, but Naruto shook his head.

"No, he can walk."

Besides, there was no way Sasuke was going to rely on Remi. It took Naruto at least four years and lots of life-or-death battles to get the Uchiha to trust him, so there was no way that a lanky civilian would so easily win the trust of Sasuke.

Harry called to them from a door. He somehow made a door appear in the wall, but at the moment Naruto didn't care. As long as they got to the hospital wing quickly.

The staircase was narrow, but thankfully wide enough to allow two people through, if they didn't mind practically hugging each other. They went up three flights of stairs before Harry veered off and led them through some other shortcuts, including one through a painting that swung open when told it looked beautiful.

Finally the door to the hospital wing came into view. And not a moment too soon, because Sasuke had gone pale (or rather: paler than usual) and the tears hadn't stopped. The redness had expanded to his forehead and cheeks, and the skin around his eyes showed purple streaks. Sasuke looked away from every bright light and leaned more and more on Naruto.

Harry threw open the door for them and called for Madam Pomfrey on the top of his lungs. The medi-witch appeared in the doorway of her office and scowled at Harry before Naruto saw her take in Sasuke. Then she was all business and fired off rapid questions. Before Naruto had a chance to answer though, Hermione intercepted and explained the situation and the spell.

Madam Pomfrey indicated a bed and Naruto hobbled over and sat Sasuke down.

"We're in the Hospital Wing. Madam Pomfrey is going to look at your eyes and fix them."

Naruto hoped for a snide remark from Sasuke that he was a shinobi and didn't need coddling or reassurance, but Sasuke nodded and sat on the bed without displaying any of his usual grace. That worried Naruto more than if his teammate went into seizures.

They both knew what it meant for Sasuke if his eyes couldn't be fixed. Konoha's council would force him to give up life as a shinobi and he'd be expected to find a wife and expand the Uchiha clan. He'd become nothing more than a glorified breeder.

Madam Pomfrey approached and Naruto stepped aside. The medi-witch was experienced at talking in a soothing manner. Her voice was soft as the finest silk, but as reassuring as a childhood plush animal.

"Alright, I'm gonna need to see your eyes to counter the spell. I know the light hurts, but try to bear. It'll be over in a few seconds."

Sasuke slowly lowered his hand and winced at the light. Hermione murmured something and the light dimmed somewhat, making it easier for Sasuke to force his puffy eyelids apart and he opened his eyes a miniscule slit.

Even from a distance Naruto saw that the whites of his eye were completely replaced by pink. Red veins stood in stark contrast with his dark irises, making it the kind of eye that haunts you in your nightmares.

"That's good, that's good, please keep them open," said Madam Pomfrey as she placed her wand on his temple. He flinched away from the contact and said with a hoarse voice:

"Wait. I have … special eyes." He let his eyes fall close and covered them with a hand again. "Naru- Fox…"

Naruto registered that Sasuke almost blurted out his name but understood what he tried to do. It was too much effort to talk right now for Sasuke, so Naruto had to be his voice.

"Explain what you're doing so he know it will not ... how do you say that… mess his eyes."

Madam Pomfrey seemed insulted, so Naruto hastily added: "He has very special eyes. Please."

She huffed but nodded and turned back to the still shinobi sitting on the bed.

"Alright, I'm going to reduce the swelling in your skin first so you can focus on your eyes while I mend them."

This time Sasuke didn't flinch away from the wand-contact and the medi-witch set to work. She worked swiftly, tapping against Sasuke's forehead and cheeks and murmuring complicated spells. Naruto saw that the swelling visibly reduced. The redness dissipated until all that remained of the attack was the redness in Sasuke's eyes.

With every tap of the wand the pain seemed to reduce, until Naruto could make out from Sasuke's body language that he would once again be able to form coherent sentences.

"All done, except for your eyes. But before I do that-" She waved her wand at some screens standing in the corner and they floated over to the bed, blocking their bodies from view. Naruto heard Remi exclaim: "aw".

Madam Pomfrey turned back to Sasuke. "Tell me what's special about them, so I can avoid 'messing them up' as mr. Fox so eloquently put it."

Sasuke lowered his hand and simply said: "This."

He opened his eyes and Naruto stared into the fathomless depths of the Sharingan. The three tomos spun rapidly, and his pupil kept dilating as if he had trouble focusing.

Madam Pomfrey gasped. "That's certainly special," she said and bent to take a closer look. While she studied the Sharingan Naruto moved closer to the bed and asked in his native tongue:

"Do your red eyes still work properly?"

"Yes and no," Sasuke answered. "Yes, I can see the chakra, and no, everything is blurry. But it doesn't hurt as much anymore."

Madam Pomfrey waited until Sasuke was done talking before she tapped with her wand against his temple. "I need to run some checking spells on your eyes. They won't interfere with your … special condition, but can you keep the spell up?"

Without bothering to correct her Sasuke simply nodded. Naruto stepped away from the bed to give the medi-witch space. He peered around the screen and focused on the students standing in the corner. They whispered amongst themselves, but when Naruto walked towards them they fell silent.

"Don't you have class?" he asked threateningly and all three of them nodded.

"Thank you for the help, now go to class." He pointed in the vague direction of the classes they were supposed to be attending and they started moving towards the doors.

"No problem. I hope Crow gets better soon. Is it alright if we drop by after classes to check up?" asked Hermione in a sugary sweet voice, and she clasped her hands in front of her which squeezed her boobs together just so… Yeah, definitely ero-sennin influence.

"Sure, but after classes. Don't skip out," Naruto warned and they quickly left, as if afraid he'd retract the 'sure'. Damn, he should have. Now three eager teenagers were going to stare at Sasuke's face. Hopefully they would keep their mouths shut before the whole school rushed in to see a maskless Crow.

He turned around and observed the situation from a distance. The medi-witch said spells in a mixture of English and a foreign language and making all kinds of interested noises. Sasuke endured it, his lidded red eyes staring at a spot on the wall. Naruto moved to that spot and signed "you okay?" once he had Sasuke's attention.

Sasuke gave the barest of nods before signing back with quick, stilted gestures: "silence, I'm okay". Naruto guessed he actually meant "shut up, idiot, I'm fine". They needed to invent some more gestures to communicate that particular message though.

After a few more minutes of poking and prodding Madam Pomfrey sighed and straightened.

"You've got a condition called 'conjunctivitis', or 'pink-eye' in layman's terms. The membrane over your eyes is irritated and that causes the light sensitivity and the redness in your eyes. Are they itchy too? As if you've got sand in them?"

Sasuke nodded.

"Usually I fix that with a spell or two, but your eyes… You've got all kinds of magic going on in there which I'd rather not disrupt, or you might not be able to cast any more spells with them."

"But you can fix it, right?" Naruto couldn't help but interrupt, because Sasuke was way too cool to ask such a question. Madam Pomfrey scowled at Naruto.

"I could fix it right now, but I don't know what the spells would do to his eyes, and if they'd even work. So I'm going to have to do this the old-fashioned way."

She turned back to Sasuke and Naruto noted that she didn't look straight into Sasuke's eyes, as if she was intimidated by the Sharingan.

"First we're going to flush your eyes out in a manner of speaking, to clean them. I've got some ointments that'll encourage your body to heal your eyes, and then we'll have to wait it out."

Sasuke nodded but Naruto detected the tiny scowl on Sasuke's face. All this magic, and all the witch could do was 'wait it out'? Then again, the Sharingan was complicated, so maybe the witch wasn't experienced enough. And sure enough, she followed that statement up with:

"I'd like to keep you're here for two days for observation. If your condition worsens, I'm going to have to transfer you to St. Mungo's. The hospital for the magical community," she clarified at Sasuke's raised eyebrow.

"They've got wizards and witches there who are specialized in more advanced medical magic and they're better suited to help you. But from what Dumbledore told the staff, you'd prefer not to expose yourselves too much, right? So I'm going to keep you here for two days and then you'll be free to go if you show improvement."

"Can I do anything to help?" asked Naruto. The sooner Sasuke was back on his feet, the better. He didn't like this pained teammate one bit. The medi-witch thankfully nodded.

"You can get your friend his clothes and some books to pass the time."

Naruto scrunched up his face at that suggestion. That was all?

"I'm going to get started on those ointments. I'll make sure that your privacy remains intact, mr. Tanaka."

She bustled off and rummaged around in her office. Naruto quickly switched back to his native tongue and moved over to poke Sasuke in the shoulder.

"Idiot," he admonished and leapt back from a punch aimed at his mid-section. Pain in his eyes or not, Sasuke still had perfect aim.

"What the hell did you do? Froze on the spot? Got Fuzzy Eyebrow's weights on your feet? Caught in Shikamaru's shadow-bind?" teased Naruto and had to twist and turn to avoid the various sharp pointy objects flung his way. At least he got a rise out of his teammate, though it was likely that Naruto had the honor of being the punching bag instead of that Malfoy kid. They couldn't hurt him because of the mission, though at the moment Naruto very much wanted to, and he knew Sasuke felt the same.

"Those spells move fast. We need to train to compensate," was all the explanation Naruto got out of Sasuke. Sasuke frowned as he looked at Naruto. "Stand still," he ordered, and Naruto froze mid-pirouette from the latest set of shuriken sent his way. From this position Naruto saw the three tomos spinning rapidly. When Sasuke blinked, his eyes were once again black.

"What?" demanded Naruto, but Sasuke shook his head and gestured for Naruto to come closer. Still worried about if his teammate was going to be alright, he obeyed, though he stayed out of immediate striking range. Sasuke blinked and the Sharingan was back.

"Mold some chakra."

Naruto rolled his eyes at the commanding tone, but twisted his fingers into the appropriate seal and began molding chakra.

"More," demanded Sasuke. Naruto pulled deeper and molded some more chakra. Sasuke stared intensely at Naruto, but made no comment. He wanted to know what this was all about, but he knew that if he asked now, Sasuke wouldn't tell him. So for once he remained quiet.

But Sasuke didn't seem inclined to enlighten his teammate. He demanded more and more chakra, until Naruto was ablaze with blue light. He felt some clones pop out of existence now that he pulled back the chakra, and he hoped that none of them were in any compromising positions. The memories he received didn't indicate so, but he didn't have 360 degrees vision, unlike a certain guy he knew. Someone could have been watching him.

"More," said Sasuke again, and Naruto retorted between gritted teeth: "There isn't any more, idiot. So tell me what you're looking for."

"The spell has damaged my Sha - red eyes. I'm unable to see the difference between your normal and your special chakra," said Sasuke in a way too calm voice. Naruto immediately let his chakra disperse and stared at his teammate in disbelief. Sasuke raised one eyebrow at the action, but before he said anything Naruto threw out his own answer.

"Are you retarded or just stupid?"

Sasuke wisely remained quiet.

"You could've asked me to draw out my special chakra instead of demanding more and more."

"I thought you understood," answered Sasuke. Naruto rolled his eyes at his teammate. Leave it to Sasuke to let him draw out all his chakra and then calmly explain that he wanted something else entirely. Bastard.

That bore repeating out loud, so he insulted his teammate before sighing and once again positioning his fingers. He saw the tension in Sasuke's frame. His teammate needed to check if he could still differ between normal and demon chakra (and therefore other kinds of chakra), and Naruto was the only one who could provide that information. Even if he was a bastard, he was still his teammate and best rivalfriend.

Naruto focused for a few seconds, clawing deep inside himself to free the always-burning chakra from its cage. He let a tiny fraction of the power seep out, encircling it and drawing it to his hands. Already he felt the effects of the chakra take hold, making him more fox-like in appearance. The wind generated by the demon chakra was so strong it knocked a couple of privacy screens over.

And of course, some students chose that moment to enter the Hospital Wing.

"Sorry, I left my quill-"

The words died on the red-haired's lips as his eyes rested on the two shinobi.

It had to be some sight, watching one of the Hogwarts guards standing there with red energy circling his clawed hands, and the other looking in intense interest. Maybe they saw a hint of red eyes through the eye slits of Naruto's mask, but they certainly saw Sasuke's spinning tomoe, along with the exposed Sharingan.

Not good. The students were, of course, the special charge and his friends.

Naruto let go of the gathered demon chakra, and reverted back within seconds. He glanced towards Sasuke, who gave a tiny nod. Sasuke's eyes were once again black. Naruto hoped that Sasuke's nod meant 'the Sharingan is OK' and not 'I'm going to kill you later for letting your guard down'. Not that he had per se, but some clones _did_ poof out of existence, the one keeping an eye on the doors of the Hospital Wing included. That one was all Sasuke's fault.

"Wow," breathed the red-haired kid, and the girl looked at the shinobi like a woman on a diet eyes a large chocolate sundae. With strawberries. Naruto feared her judgment. What had she seen, and would she connect it to any theories she had on them? The library contained few books on the subject on shinobi, and what books they had were horribly outdated. She wouldn't be able to pinpoint Naruto and Sasuke as being a demon-bearer and the last (not-clan-murdering) Uchiha, but she could still do a lot of damage if the student body knew that the guards possessed more talents than they let on.

"What _was_ that?" asked Harry Potter and turned subconsciously towards the girl, as if he expected a complete and thorough answer from her.

"That was something you didn't see," intoned Sasuke in a bland voice. "And you will not tell anyone about it. Clear?"

The killing intent was strong in this one, Naruto mused. Sasuke pored on everything he had to scare the kids into obedience. Too bad they'd trained them to shake it off, but the full force still seemed to be working, because the red-head lost a lot of color in his face and the girl trembled. Harry Potter shivered here and there, but managed to keep his head held high. Interesting.

"We won't tell anyone. We didn't even really see anything, except some wandless magic," said Harry Potter as he shrugged. "You don't have to threaten us."

"Good," said Sasuke. He let go of the killing intent vibe. "Get your stuff and go."

"Huh? Oh yes, of course," said the red-head quickly. He searched the ground for his quill, and found it had fluttered underneath a bed. With as much haste as possible he picked it up and ushered his friends out of the door. He seemed the most spooked by Sasuke's killing intent. Also interesting. With the kids once again gone, Naruto turned back to Sasuke.

"So, your red eyes are OK?" He asked, already knowing the answer, but he wanted to check anyhow.

Sasuke nodded and Naruto thought he heard him mutter "idiot" under his breath, but he wasn't too sure.

"Right, then I better get back to ... doing what we usually do," said Naruto. At a nod from Sasuke he left the Hospital Ward and left his teammate to the tender care of Madam Pomfrey. She was an okay witch, they had decided. Too mother-hen for them orphans, and she treated them like small children, but still... could be worse.

Five hours later Naruto had scoured the castle from the top tower to the lowest dungeon yet again, and had come across a new broom closet and a tiny nook which kept changing the color of its piece of marble floor every time he passed it. Time to check up on Sasuke.

He found his teammate asleep in the hospital bed, his eyes covered with a wet cloth. Madam Pomfrey had erected more privacy screens around his bed. When Naruto moved them to get to his teammate Sasuke awoke and pulled the cloth from his eyes. They looked better already, less red and swollen.

"Morning sleeping ugly," greeted Naruto cheerfully. Sasuke grunted.

"Castle's still secure, and I found a new room. And that's about it. You?"

"Read a book, drank some potion, fell asleep."

"And people wonder why we relieve our boredom by destroying stuff."

Sasuke snorted. "You mean, _you_ relieve stress by destroying."

Naruto sat down on the foot of the bed and Sasuke grudgingly moved his feet.

"Yes, you're the stressless one. You only sulk and brood and mope and-"

A pillow to the face hardly hurt, but it shut Naruto up for a second. It was enough for a change in topic. "She gonna release you yet?"

Sasuke shook his head. "Sha- _red eyes_ still hurt, and if I don't rest now the infection might get worse. Though if she stays like this all night, I'm gonna release myself early."

Naruto cocked his head and thought back to Madam Pomfrey's personality. He put hers and Sasuke's personality together and out came a jumbled mess of chaos and screaming and mayhem. Yeah, those two might not get along so well. She'd get all huffy about Sasuke's independent streak and Sasuke would get annoyed by her mother-henning. Put them together in a room where Sasuke had to depend on her and she could mother-hen all she wanted, and you had an instant sitcom classic.

"Grin and bear it, I s'pose. She's the only one who can heal you in this place."

Sasuke let himself fall back on the bed, despair in his voice. "Yes." He propped himself up on his elbows. "Get me some books on medical spells from the library."

Naruto got up and bowed to his teammate like he had seen an house-elf do to a teacher.

"Yess, masster, at oncce. Go ssuck a dick. Damn, now I sound like Sai."

Sasuke wasn't amused by Naruto's antics, and he let that know by glaring at his teammate. His hand clenched around the same pillow he threw before, but then he relaxed and closed his eyes.

"Just. Please."

"Wow, that must've hurt," commented Naruto casually. He wondered why Sasuke wanted for him to get those books so badly. Did his teammate really think he could learn those spells faster than Madam Pomfrey? Or was something else going on? Naruto knew he sometimes was oblivious about these types of situations, and he thought hard why Sasuke would want those books.

"Are you _that_ bored?"

This had Sasuke open his eyes with a weary sigh. "I can only spend so much time thinking about how much I'd like to kick your ass. Are you getting those books or not?"

Naruto got up from the bed and made a 'relax' gesture. "Back in ten," he announced, and slipped between two privacy screens.

"Make sure they're recent," called Sasuke after him.

"Yessss, masssster," said Naruto under his breath and ignored the follow-up call of: "did you hear me, Fox?"

Finding the books was easy enough. It was harder to convince Madam Pince that Naruto wasn't going to let any harm come to them.

"I've seen your destructive nature," said Madam Pince in her talking-down voice, "and these books are _very_ valuable. If you even so much as scratch them..."

She left her threat dangling, which didn't impress Naruto. He looked at the already scratched books lying on the table and shrugged. They were just books, and he'd been threatened before. And some of his enemies actually followed up on their threats.

"It'll be fine," Naruto reassured her one last time and had to physically tug the books from her hands. She had a good grip on them and her long fingernails made her look like a vulture holding on to its precious meal. She scratched the soft leather of the cover herself, but she didn't seem to notice it, so hard was her death glare at Naruto.

When Naruto walked out of the library he snorted to himself.

"That lady needs to get a hobby," he said to himself, and some passing students looked him funny. He cheerfully waved at them and they scurried off, apparently afraid of more interaction. No matter, he had a mission to complete anyhow. Deliver the books and annoy Sasuke some more before getting dinner.

Alright, so it had been fourteen minutes instead of ten like Naruto had said, but that was all thanks to Madam Pince. Mentally he composed a sentence which would put all the blame on the old lady instead of on his tiny detour to the kitchen for a pre-dinner snack. When Naruto popped back between the privacy screens, he saw a recipe for disaster.

The blond Malfoy kid who had cursed Sasuke stood next to his bed. Apparently he had just arrived, because Sasuke was only starting to tap into his killing intent and prepared his glare of doom. Naruto saw that his teammate unconsciously reached for the pouch on his waist which wasn't there.

When Malfoy started talking, Naruto pictured him digging his own grave, make a coffin, arrange the funeral before spreading his arms wide open so Sasuke had better access to his vital points.

"My head of house is making me apologize for cursing you. I don't see why it's my fault, since you jumped between me and Potter, but-"

Naruto had heard enough. If the kid continued talking, Naruto would have to start restraining Sasuke. So he did the easier thing. He slinked up behind the kid and clamped his hand over the kid's mouth, making him utter a muffled yelp. Blondie struggled in his grip.

Sasuke apparently took this as an invitation to crank up the killing intent, and even when sitting in a hospital bed that move never failed to have an effect on Hogwarts students. Blondie stopped struggling and Naruto had to hold him up, as the kid apparently lost all feeling in his legs. Sasuke's eyes were slit and Naruto felt sure Sasuke would pull a muscle if he kept scowling like that.

"If you _ever_ raise your wand against at me again," he said at a low volume, "I will kill you."

Blondie whimpered and Naruto took that as a sign that Sasuke had gotten his point across. He released the kid, who staggered before finding his footing again. He stared at Sasuke like a seal stared at a killer whale.

"Got it?" asked Sasuke in the same low tone, and blondie nodded eagerly. Sasuke dialed down the killing intent and finally the kid unfroze and ran off, leaving behind the smell of terror sweat.

"Congrats on terrifying a student, here are your books," said Naruto, and dropped the books in Sasuke's lap. Sasuke snorted.

"He deserved it."

"Yes, but he's a stuck-up bastard. The two of you should totally start a club, since you're one too."

Sasuke didn't answer. He was busy flipping through the three books Naruto had brought, and making interested noises.

"Next time, remember there are other kids in the room," said Naruto. Sasuke looked up at that remark, and Naruto was sure he saw an 'oh shit' expression flit over Sasuke's face before it was blank again. The privacy screens gave the illusion of a separate room, but by now the other kids in the Hospital Ward must be sitting up in bed, terrified that a nameless killing force would come knocking any second.

"Don't you have a patrol to do?" asked Sasuke, and Naruto rolled his eyes.

"You're impossible. See ya."

He turned around and jumped aside in the nick of time to avoid an angry Madam Pomfrey forcing her somewhat more-than-thin body through the gap in the privacy screens.

"What in Merlin's name was _that_?" she shrieked, and Naruto took that as his cue to leave. Sasuke would have a fun time explaining this incident.

"See ya!" Naruto called again, just to annoy his teammate, and disappeared through the old oak doors.

* * *

Two days later, after much book-reading, mother-henning and mysterious potions, Madam Pomfrey finally dismissed Sasuke from the Hospital Ward, and Madam Pomfrey found even that too soon. Still, it was either an early release or a sneak-out, thought Naruto. Sasuke's eyes had healed up fine, the only trace of the curse was a lingering redness of the white of the eye, and even that faded with each passing day.

When they came across the blond kid, he actually turned tail and ran. Alright, walked away swiftly, but Sasuke wore a satisfied smirk for the rest of the day. The kid never raised his wand against either guard ever again.

* * *

McGonagall didn't often summon both the guards to her office, so when she did, it had to be important. But this announcement didn't seem that important to Naruto.

"She wants us to join in as guests for the Yule Ball?" he asked in bafflement. Sasuke nodded. "Isn't a ball one of those things where rich people go and dance with big gowns and everything?" Sasuke nodded again. "And how exactly are we gonna fit in there?"

"We're not."

Naruto made a dramatized movement. "Ah, once again left out. I feel so alone. Sasuke, hold me!"

He pretended to swoon and tried to grab his teammate in a hug, but Sasuke wasn't having any of that. He neatly stepped aside and Naruto barely stopped himself from an one-way trip to the floor.

"So cold," he cried, but Sasuke walked off.

"Seriously, though," said Naruto when he had caught up with Sasuke, "why does she want us to join?"

"Maybe because we're 'children' in her eyes, she thinks we should get to have some fun," Sasuke intoned.

Naruto nodded. "Yeah, maybe. Or she wants to see you without your uniform. She has the hots for you and wants to jump your-"

Sadly, the world would never know how Naruto was going to end that sentence, because Sasuke clocked him across the face, which led to an impromptu training session. Or rather, the shinobi beating each other up, because that was the only way they could truly express how they felt about each other.

* * *

"Won't it be fun if-"

"No."

Naruto pouted as Sasuke shot him down so fast he could hear the sonic boom echoing in his ears.

"You don't even know what I was going to say!"

"Doesn't matter. It won't be fun."

Naruto got a sly look in his eyes. Sasuke saw it too, and began to edge away. He had been roped into too many pranks to not know (and fear) that look.

"Are you saying that I can't think of anything fun?"

"No," Sasuke tried to defend himself, "I'm saying that what you're thinking of _right now_ won't be any fun."

"And how do you know what I'm thinking? Developed a new power of the Sharingan, hm?"

Sasuke was quick to shake his head, but he still edged towards the door. "No, but I know you, I know what stupid plans you come up with."

Naruto pouted again. "They're not stupid, they're brilliant! You're so stuck-up you can't see the brilliance of my plans. Anyway, if we're going to that ball, we should learn how to dance."

Sasuke rolled his eyes upwards, as if praying for guidance and support from the heavens. "This is your idea of fun _how_?"

It was Naruto's turn to shrug. "Y'know, learn some new moves, interact with the students, learn about this culture."

"Naruto, you said 'learning' twice. You. And _you _are talking about _culture_."

Naruto huffed and looked away. "Pfeh, I can learn! And not just A-rank jutsu (Ithankyouverymuch) but also about culture. And stuff."

Sasuke got a gleam of his own in his eye, and Naruto recognized that gleam as well. And it didn't bode well for him. That gleam meant that Sasuke was about to say something which made Naruto look stupid in front of others. Luckily for him they sat in their shared room, which made it less embarrassing for Naruto to be confronted and bested in their verbal sparring. But he and Sasuke would know, and that was all that mattered.

"Then, in this culture, what's the significance of tea for the British?"

"I said: _learn_ about culture. I don't claim to already know all that stuff."

Naruto grinned as he realized he had turned the tables back to the way they originally were. Sasuke sulked for a second and then seemed to realize what Naruto exactly had in mind. "You actually _want_ to spend more time with those civilians?"

"Yes. I'm not the anti-social one here. You fill those shoes so well they made extra special ones, just for you."

Sasuke took another step towards the door. He knew what was about to go down. Naruto would drag him to that lesson, by force if necessary. Or sit on him until he promised to go, either one had the potential to work. But not if Sasuke wasn't there to wrangle a promise out of.

With lightning-quick reflexes Sasuke sprinted towards the door, threw it open and ran out. He was able to run two feet before three clones threw themselves on top of him and pinned him to the floor.

"You and your damn bunshin!"

Naruto grinned and made a victory-sign.

* * *

"I will kill you and burn your bones," threatened Sasuke for the twenty-seventh time that evening. So far he'd promised to slice and dice Naruto, electrocute him, stab him with needles, and the list went on and on. Naruto was hardly impressed, though he was getting put off by how creative Sasuke got with his death threats. But at the moment he didn't care, because he was dancing with a cute fifth-year Gryffindor who had a good sense of rhythm.

Mingling with the students proved to be a lot easier than anticipated. By now the student body had gotten used to their presence, though few of them had been this up close and personal with them.

Now that Naruto's English was getting better though, he found he missed talking with someone besides Sasuke. Sometimes he needed a break from the constant threat of emo-ing Sasuke threw around like the Easter Bunny spreads eggs.

And this dancing class was the perfect opportunity for that. Sure, Sasuke had just uttered his thirtieth threat, but that was in part due to the dance partner who dragged him around the floor. A fourth-year Ravenclaw girl with bad breath and a too strong sense of leadership would never be led around by a smaller boy with thin limbs so pale you'd expect him to start sparkling in the sunlight any moment.

"Oh, sorry," said the girl Naruto danced with once again. He hadn't caught her name, but mentally called her toe-killer. He regretted wearing open-toed sandals right about now.

"No problem," replied Naruto with a grin, even though she couldn't see it. "You danced before?"

The girl nodded shyly. "Yeah, when I was in elementary school, we had an ex-dance teacher as teacher, and she taught us the basic moves during PE."

"I see," said Naruto. "You move with music real well."

A fierce blush spread across the girl's cheeks and for a moment Naruto wished she was Sakura.

"I'm going to wax your head and use your scalp as my rice bowl," hissed Sasuke as he whirled past, still in the steering grip of the Ravenclaw girl. The top of his duck-butt hair reached the girl's shoulder, which meant that Sasuke's face was where Ero-sennin would like to be.

But at least they learned the moves and Naruto foresaw many dances with cute girls. If only he could score a pink-haired one, his life would be complete. But for now he'd settle for this Gryffindor girl, as long as she stopped stepping on his toes.

* * *

"Come out."

"No."

"C'mon, I've seen you in lots of questionable situations. Remember that one mission at Wave Country? With the pageant-"

The opening door interrupted Naruto, and Sasuke stepped out, his head held high. Naruto's eyes immediately dropped to Sasuke's body.

"Man, you do _not_ look good in wizard dress robes," said Naruto unthinkingly. He waved his hands to indicate he meant nothing by that. "Err, not that you look good. Ever. You're like, butt-ugly."

Sasuke smirked at Naruto's remarks, and Naruto gave up and hung his head. Sasuke took off the ridiculous blue dress-robes and rooted through his backpack. With a small "ha!" he procured a package from the pack, folded in brown paper. The way it limply hung suggested the package contained clothing, and when Sasuke opened it, a navy-blue and white cloth fell from it.

"Now _there's_ something I recognize," smirked Naruto. Sasuke turned warning eyes on him, and Naruto backed off, literally. The blonde went rooting through his own pack and tugged a similar cloth from his pack, though his was less neatly folded and packaged.

"Think this'll do?" he asked, and held the clothes up for Sasuke to see.

"You didn't pick that out, did you?"

Naruto opened his mouth to say something, changed his mind halfway and the words came tumbling out like a dead body from a closet in a horror movie. "Yeah, I- No, it was a present from Ero-sennin."

"Figured," replied Sasuke.

Naruto narrowed his eyes at his teammate. "And what," he said, "is that supposed to mean? Think my taste in clothing is _bad_, do you?"

Sasuke snorted so loud Naruto feared for a second the guy had snorted out his lungs. "You wear _orange_," he said in a tone as if that explained everything that was wrong with Naruto.

"Orange is an awesome color, mr. 'I've got such a wide collar my shoulders poke through it'."

"Better than misfit clothes which look and smell as if you've stolen them from a bin."

Naruto surreptitiously smelled the clothing he held and only smelt the laundry detergent he used. And perhaps a faint scent of crushed and molded bread which had been piled on top of the clothing. He'd straight away forgotten about that emergency ration when they'd gotten to Hogwarts, with its splendid meals. Only last week he'd discovered the emerging bacteria staining the backpack, and the scrubbing had been vigorous.

"Hey! At least it doesn't take me ten minutes to dress myself, with all those bandages you use."

"It's a surprise you even know how to dress yourself."

They kept bickering about clothes as if they channeled Ino and Sakura, and their comments only ended when Sasuke walked into the bathroom, slammed the door and refused to be goaded into screaming through the door. Soon after Naruto heard the sound of running water.

"Orange is awesome," said Naruto one last time, and put the clothing back into its proper place. He was going to need it later this month.

* * *

After a few more disastrous dance lessons where Sasuke's threats began to borderline on psycho axe murderer, the Yule Ball loomed. Sasuke tried every trick in the book to get out of it, but sadly Naruto had read the book cover to cover as well, and he was the one who often went beyond and/or above it.

So Naruto grinned as Sasuke donned his blue-white yukata and mask and walked towards the door.

"You coming?" he asked, and Naruto grinned and nodded at his teammate.

"Let's do this!"

"Got enough clones?" asked Sasuke.

"Always. Half of them disguised as statues or paintings, half of them roaming around as students. I've had to invent new fancy dress robes for eight people, y'know." Naruto stilled. "I miss Sakura," he said softly. "Bet she'd have loved this."

"Yes," said Sasuke. He didn't look Naruto in the eye and they both stayed silent for a few seconds. Naruto strolled up to the door and threw it open, the bang of the door hitting the wall jerking them from their homesick thoughts.

"Let's go score some bootay!"

Sasuke felt his eye twitch. When had Naruto picked up _that_ phrase? And what did it mean? Would he ever care enough to find out?

His mind didn't stay tuned.

* * *

Walking through the Great Hall at the Yule Ball was like walking through Konoha during a festival. People in bright-colored clothes were everywhere, the food was delicious, and the students laughed and talked and mingled as if they were Hollywood stars, at least for one night.

And the dancing. Oh, the dancing.

The school champions started, but soon afterwards the dance floor was populated by lots of students (and teachers). In the dark corners of the floor stood couples, swaying to the beat, hands and other parts of their body entwined.

Naruto was having the time of his life. As soon as his feet hit the floor of the Great Hall he got separated from Sasuke, and he didn't mind one bit. Like a sponge he soaked up the positive energy, the way the students behaved towards him. Some were still wary, but most of them had gotten used to him by now.

So he chatted with some students (as far as his limited vocabulary allowed him to), danced with a couple of girls and gobbled down all the food he laid hands on.

Tonight he felt like the weight of this mission was lifted from him, and he could enjoy this strange culture. It was ... liberating.

"Would you like to dance?" asked a girl to his right, and Naruto nodded.

"Yeah, sure, why not," he said. He let her lead him through the throngs of students towards the dance floor, where he spun her into a foxtrot and managed to not stumble for once.

It took a few minutes into the dance before he recognized the girl. In her dress robes she looked different from what he was used to, but when she looked at him with a blush on her face and a look in her eyes, he knew who she was.

"Thank you again when you bringed my forehead protector," he said, which only deepened the blush on Parvati's face.

"No problem, mr. Fox," she said, an inquiring tone in her voice. Naruto smiled at her behind his mask. Did she think he'd tell her his name if she asked politely?

"You are enjoying the ball?" he asked and frowned as the grammar struck him as weird. But before he could correct himself Parvati answered.

"Yes, very much so. But I've got something to show you."

Naruto raised his eyebrows at her, his interest piqued. What could this girl show him that he hadn't already seen on the grounds? Did she know a new shortcut?

But when he asked, she didn't reply and kept on dancing, a mysterious grin on her face, joined by the deepest blush Naruto had seen in a while. When the song ended, she kept hold of his hand and tugged him away from the dance floor.

"What you want to show me?" asked Naruto, but Parvati only giggled and pulled him deeper into the specially-created rosebushes. In a dark area she turned around and pointed at him.

"There, we're all alone, you can take off your mask," she finished her sentence by softly tugging the mask off his face. Naruto let her, curious what she'd do. She drank in the sight of his face and Naruto pulled self-conscious on the collar of his yukata.

Then, without warning or even consent, she stepped forward and pressed her lips to his, capturing his head between her hands. Naruto had to kick his brain into gear when a rush of teenage hormones kidnapped his attention and ran off with it. With a muted cry he pulled back and pointed accusingly at her.

"You're a chakra-sucking devil woman!" he yelled, remembering the weird woman who had tried to kill him by kissing him. Why did woman feel the need to turn something nice into something vile?

"What did you say?" asked Parvati, a frown on her pretty face.

"You tried to take my chakra," said Naruto in English, but he hesitated when tears appeared in Parvati's eyes. His mind flew back to that mission. When the woman had kissed him, she immediately drained him. This girl... might have meant it in a whole different way.

"Oh," he said, and then: "_Oh!_" He grinned at her. "Awesome."

Parvati slapped him.

"You're a jerk!" she screamed and stormed off, leaving a bewildered Naruto in her wake. He cupped his cheek where the slap had landed. Now he was blushing, although in an one-sided way, and why she had done that...

A snort from one bush over made him aware that he stood dumbstruck in a rosebush with his face exposed. He pulled down his mask and flipped the mysterious person off, who stepped from the bushes and revealed himself. It was Snape, the weird greasy-haired guy Naruto kept clear of. He didn't possess an inviting personality and Naruto already associated with one brooding guy, he didn't need any more this year.

"What," snapped Naruto, "do you want?"

It wasn't polite, but Naruto didn't care at the moment. He blew it, the first time a girl approached him on her own will, and he had told her she was a vile devil-woman. He missed Sakura, who'd have bopped him on the head and would tell him to not be so dense.

"I hardly think it's appropriate for a _guard_ to associate with a student." The way the man said the word made it sound like an improper profession.

"Hey, she kissed _me_," said Naruto indignant. Snape raised one eyebrow, a move which Naruto loathed on all those broody types. Only they seemed to posses the gen necessary to control one eyebrow, and one eyebrow alone.

"It's a shame you're not part of any House, or I'd subtract so many points it'd dangle at the bottom of the list," said Snape slowly, as if speaking to an idiot. Naruto snorted at the empty threat.

"Yes, it's a shame. Now I must go."

He wanted to get back to the party, see if he could get the incident out of his head by dancing with some other girls.

"But I _can_ report this to Dumbledore," said Snape. Naruto sighed as he walked away.

"You make too much noise over a small thing. A life, get it."

Snape's scowl disappeared in the darkness as Naruto ran away, back into the heart of the party. He didn't let his thoughts of the greasy-haired teacher distract him long from the party. He finally spotted Sasuke, sitting alone at a table nursing a Butterbeer. Naruto fought his way over through the throngs of students and stopped next to the table.

"Anything?" he asked, signing the word 'danger' at him at the same time. Sasuke shook his head, and Naruto took that as his cue to leave. He left Sasuke at the table, for once not caring about his teammate's fun (or lack thereof).

This was one night he had completely to himself, and he was going to enjoy every minute of it, being slapped, threatened and glared at notwithstanding.

* * *

Much later that night Naruto finally found his way into bed. He didn't bother taking off his yukata, he just fell down. The lump on Sasuke's bed indicated that his teammate had also already found the bed, although Naruto couldn't remember seeing him leave. He didn't remember a lot of things, actually, but at the moment he didn't worry about that.

"Hey, bastard," whispered Naruto, turning his head to look at the lump of teammate. Sasuke didn't move.

"Oi!" yelled Naruto, and Sasuke stirred.

"You do know that someone upped the alcoholic content of the Butterbeer," said Sasuke in a hoarse voice. Naruto blinked. He did not know that. "Which means that you're either drunk or on the verge of," continued Sasuke. "So shut up or I'll wake you up at the crack of dawn with a gong."

"Fair enough," replied Naruto, turned his head and was asleep within seconds.

The next day, he really regretted not learning the make-headache-go-away-spell.

"Not a word," warned Naruto, but Sasuke's chuckles finally died down and was replaced by a much worse smirk as he held a gong in his hands.


	11. Nightly prowling

**A/N:**Finally, the three pranksters meet (though probably not in the way you're thinking). And the 'mother of all snowball fights' scene was the first scene from Harry's perspective I wrote, I believe. It has snowed hard and long this winter in the Netherlands, inspiring that scene.

* * *

Naruto groaned in his pillow. Stupid kids getting out of bed at all hours of the night. Well, more like 10 PM, he amended once he read the numbers on the tiny traveler's clock sitting on the bedside table, but still...

His bunshin reported that those red-haired twins were out and about again, sneaking down from the Gryffindor tower. Those kids needed to be taught a lesson. He was tempted to ignore the curfew-breaking students and send a bunshin in to scare them back, but nonetheless he got up. It should be illegal for the floor to be this cold. Naruto suppressed a yelp when his feet touched the ground to not wake a sleeping Sasuke. Maybe they shouldn't have gone all-out during the sparring match this afternoon. But Sasuke's face had asked for a pummeling, so now they were both exhausted.

Naruto quickly but silently dressed himself and slipped outside. Before setting off to the twins he created a new kage bunshin to replace the one who had reported them to him.

Using various shortcuts, Naruto made it to the last known location of the twins. From there on it was easy to follow them. They tried to mask their footsteps, but any genin worth his training could hear them, let alone a chuunin.

But Naruto didn't bust them yet. He wanted to know _why_ they constantly felt the need to leave the Gryffindor tower at all times of night.

"See any of them around?" whispered one twin, and the other took a good long look around before shaking his head.

"Good. Let's do this."

The pair halted in front of a large painting of a fruit bowl. They bowed forward and did something to the painting which Naruto couldn't see from this angle. All of sudden a door appeared in the painting. This was bad. Naruto didn't want to lose them, especially since they were one of the few distractions in this otherwise dull castle at night.

Naruto grabbed a shuriken from a pouch and threw it at a nearby suit of armor. It landed neatly in the open visor and clanged all the way down, creating a nice racket. Momentarily distracted the boys looked at the source of the noise, and Naruto used that opportunity to walk / slide down the wall and land directly in front of the twins. They towered over him by too much inches, but Naruto puffed up his chest and demanded in his most imposing voice:

"Where are you going?"

With a yelp the boy holding the door handle let go and the other one cursed loudly and swallowed a second curse.

"How did you-?" began the one on the left and the one on the right said at the same time: "Where did you-?"

Naruto wagged a finger at them. "You have to be in bed. So again: where are you going?"

The twins had apparently used many, many excuses in the past, because they came rolling out like butter down a hot slope.

"We heard a noise-"

"So we came down to investigate-"

"We didn't run into you-"

"Or Crow-"

"So we went down ourselves-"

"To make sure Hogwarts wasn't under attack or anything-"

"Or maybe one of the foreign students needed help-"

"Because they don't know Hogwarts' layout-"

"And they might need to visit the Hospital Wing-"

"So that's why we're out of bed-"

"And in the hallways."

With their (lame, in Naruto's opinion) excuse told they put on their most innocent faces and waited for Naruto's verdict. "Fine. And now the true facts."

The twins' faces fell before they fixed it with a beaming grin, looking creepily identical. "We _are_ telling the truth. We heard a noise and came down. That's all. We'll go right back up, so good night."

They turned around and started to walk away briskly, but before they got far Naruto hurried after them and put a hand on their shoulders. He turned them around and they wore exactly the same expressions of 'kid caught with hand in cookie jar', down to the angle of the eyebrows, so Naruto couldn't tell them apart even now.

"Do not insult me, I am shinobi. I know if you lie. Tell the truth or I will talk with ms. McGonagall."

At least that threat seemed to register, and when the one on the left's shoulders slumped Naruto knew he had them where he wanted.

"We were on our way to the kitchen."

The kitchen. Of course, the food that appeared instantaneously in the Great Hall had to come from _somewhere_. But Naruto hadn't found the entrance to the kitchen yet, and it wasn't covered in the tour either. So slyly he asked:

"The kitchen, is it behind this picture?"

The twins shared a look, and the one on the left nodded hesitantly. Naruto stepped out of the way but kept close enough to interrupt in case the boys made a run for it. Unlikely, but students had done stupider things.

"Open it," he ordered, and the one on the right stepped forwards and ... tickled the green pear. The pear giggled and then morphed into a doorknob. Without further ado the boy pushed the doorknob and the outline of a door appeared in the painting, cutting through it as if it had always been there.

The twins stepped inside and Naruto followed.

Replicas of the tables of the Great Hall stood on the floor, but Naruto was more interested in the tiny figures milling about. Even at this hour they worked hard. But apparently they loved visitors, because all of a sudden they surrounded them and greeted the twins as if they knew them for some time.

"Welcome to the kitchen."

"Just ... what are you going to be doing here?" asked Naruto, and the one on the right shrugged.

"Midnight snack."

Which meant that either the twins were still lying, or they had an utter lack of respect for any rules flung their way.

"Mr. Guard, sir? Is there anything you desire?" squeaked a house-elf at Naruto's feet, and an idea formed in Naruto's head. He had come down to take care of the twins, but now that he was up and about anyway...

"Do you know how to create ramen?" he asked in a hopeful tone, but deflated when the house-elf shook its head. Naruto knew his vocabulary was still sorely lacking: he couldn't even begin to think of an explanation of what ramen was and how it was made. So instead he opted for a demonstration.

"It's real good food from my home," he said. He turned towards the twins and regarded them thoughtfully.

"I should tell this at ms. McGonagall," he began, but then grinned at them. It must've shown in his voice, because the twins perked up. "But if you make ramen with me, I will ... forget this. If you tell me you never walk at night again."

The twins nodded enthusiastically and Naruto briefly wondered if the twins would keep to their word. But for now there was the prospect of ramen in the nearby future, and he already felt his mouth water. He sorely missed Ichiraku. The food here tasted nice, but it still wasn't like food from Konoha.

"Is it okay if I make ramen? To show you?" Naruto asked the house-elves, and after some deliberation he got their permission. They seemed to think it highly unusual that a human would cook a meal, but they hovered nearby nonetheless, taking note of how Naruto created the dish. Hopefully in the future, Naruto could request some ramen and experience a familiar dish in this environment.

"First, I need white stuff. Goes 'poof' and is very thin."

Of all the times to forget his dictionary... His description was lacking, but somehow he got the right ingredient (flour) shoved under his nose.

"Thank you. Second I need four ... round things. From animal."

Naruto waved his dignity goodbye and imitated a chicken. Within seconds two house-elves pressed four eggs in his hands and the twins grinned like madmen.

"Now I need salt and water."

A water pitcher and a large (for house-elves) salt-shaker joined the pile of ingredients and Naruto rolled up his sleeves and set to work. Mixing the ingredients was tiring, but after some hard work he got the desired result: a solid dough.

He gestured for the twins to come closer and showed them how to roll the individual strings. With vigor they set to work and quickly they were done with that task.

"I need soup ... stuff. Things you make soup with," he announced to the house-elves at large, and they quickly gathered their ingredients and laid them out on the replica house tables. With his pick of the litter Naruto selected the best ingredients and set about preparing them.

Boiling the noodles took the least amount of time, so the twins helped Naruto with his soup, and within twenty minutes a steaming bowl of ramen stood in front of Naruto.

To be civil he poured the twins a bowl as well, and left the remainder of the ramen for the house-elves. They needed to eat too, and he had used their ingredients after all.

He briefly debated if he should take the ramen to his shared room, but then Sasuke would want to know what he had been up to and Naruto didn't want to explain how he let two rule-breakers go because he had the munchies for ramen. So he took off his mask and laid it on the table.

Now all he needed was ... aha! Two thick sate-sticks served as chopsticks and after telling the twins to enjoy their meal (_itadakimasu!)_ he dug in with his makeshift chopsticks, much to the amusement of the house-elves and the twins.

It wasn't Ichiraku-ramen, but it was ramen nonetheless. Naruto decimated his bowl and found out the house-elves didn't mind if he ate seconds and thirds.

"What did you call this again? Lamen?" asked the one on the left ("Fred Weasley, nice to meet you like this").

"No, ramen," explained Naruto, emphasizing the r-sound.

"It's good. You're a hell of a cook, Fox," added the twin on the right ("George Weasley, pleasure"). Naruto grinned at them and tried to ignore the way they studied him now that he had his mask off.

"You eat this a lot back home?" asked Fred, and Naruto told them about Ichiraku, as far as his limited vocabulary allowed him to. He never named the restaurant in case the boys got it in their head to look it up somehow.

But the twins distracted him from what Naruto wanted to talk to them about. He had seen their handiwork demonstrated in the corridors, and was amazed what they managed to do with the various ingredients they smuggled into the castle.

Naruto and Sasuke knew about their trades, but allowed the packages through. It wasn't like the twins created harmful stuff. And the shinobi weren't equipped to deal with the unfamiliar ingredients. Even Sasuke, with all the stuff he was busy learning, had trouble seeing the difference between poisonous Doxy-powder-eggs and harmless Stryder's Sneezing Powder. They relied on the inbuilt spells of Hogwarts for that particular bit of the mission, which ensured that no students received deadly items through the mail.

Sasuke had searched high and low for that spell so he could cast it over his home and perhaps the Hokage Tower, but finally had to give up. Apparently it had been an unique spell invented by the founders of the castle, but it was lost in time.

After the three males had eaten every last scrap of food, Naruto turned to the twins. "I don't want to see you again in the halls. Next time, I could hurt you because I thinked that you were ... people not allowed in the castle."

"You mean intruders? Don't worry about us, next time you won't notice us," said George. He carried a particular twinkle in his eye which Naruto didn't care for. It spoke of mischief and other unpleasant things for a guard guarding a way too huge castle.

"Not see you? But I can hear you, smell you, feel you..." Naruto teased, and George frowned when he thought about that dilemma.

"So we'll just have to invent stuff which makes us invisible, silent, and intangible. No biggie, we like a challenge after all," grinned George, and Fred added:

"And who better to test it out on than a real ninja?"

Naruto felt left behind, the conversation moved too fast for him, with too much unknown words. Were they actually suggesting they were going to invent stuff which would make them the perfect intruder? That was gonna get them mistaken and killed for sure! He tried to convince them of that fact, but the twins chuckled and got up.

"Thanks for not reporting us. We'll go straight back to Gryffindor Tower, and start working on ways to fool you. Better than making candy, methinks."

"Methinks as well, dear brother o'mine. Thanks for the food, Fox. 'Night!"

Naruto let the twins go. They acted way less formal towards him than usual, as far as those two ever acted formal. Must be because of his maskless face, his young age showed and they took advantage of that. With a sigh Naruto once again donned his mask and also got up from the table, after thanking the house-elves profusely.

"We'll practice and can make you ramen by the day after tomorrow, mr. Fox-guard, sir!" promised one crook-nosed house-elf, and Naruto brightened at the thought of it. Now only if he could somehow convince Sasuke that Naruto had nothing to do with it...

* * *

Harry heard voices in an unfamiliar language, and that was something he didn't hear every day at Hogwarts. He shuffled towards the ruckus and kept a tight grip on his Invisibility Cloak to ensure he remained invisible.

A red glow joined the voices and as Harry got closer he could make out a few words.

"_Kai_," was one word he heard repeatedly, and as he finally rounded the corner he saw a scene he wouldn't soon forget.

One of the guards, Fox, if he wasn't mistaken, kneeled on the ground. He trembled all over and pressed his hands together, palms flat against each other. He shouted "_kai!_" in a steadily more panicking voice.

On the other end of the hallway stood another Fox, with two people laying at his feet. But it wasn't Fox at all. This man, boy… monster emitted the red glow. A red aura swirled around the monster, dyeing the familiar yellow hair of Fox an orange color. His hair looked wilder, spikier, if that was in any way possible. The whiskers on his face had grown, and in the monster's too wide grin Harry saw elongated fangs. But the eyes were the most frightening. They reminded Harry of Voldemort. The same red color, the same intent to kill and not care about anything but themselves.

The aura seemed to expand behind the monster and Harry could make out nine … tentacles flapping about, composed of the same see-through aura that surrounded the monster's body.

It said something in that strange language and one of the bodies at the monster's feet stirred. A young man, black-haired and with exhausted lines around his black eyes, raised his head enough to look at the real Fox and muttered something. He was interrupted when one of the tentacles slammed down into his stomach, spraying a liberal amount of blood everywhere. The other body, a pink-haired girl, remained motionless. Harry saw why though, her chest was one open wound, exposing a ribcage to the world. Her heart was somehow still beating.

Harry looked on in horror as he wracked his brain what to do about this monster. But then the bodies vanished and instead the monster now held a grey-haired man with a mask covering pretty much all of his face, except for his right eye. The man screamed something, but then the monster snapped his neck and the man went limp. Harry noticed the monster had claw-tipped hands.

When the man vanished as well Harry understood what it was that was torturing Fox like this. A boggart, playing out the deepest fears hidden in Fox's mind. And succeeding at it, because Fox still kneeled on the floor, all the while screaming "_KAI!_" and pressing his hands together. Harry felt the hairs on the back of his neck standing up as a foreign energy started to fill the room, coming from Fox.

Harry walked closer to the boggart to attract its attention and force it away from Fox, but he forgot he wore the Invisibility Cloak. As such, he got to witness a few more horrifying scenes while he waved his arms around and yelled at the boggart.

The grey-haired man was replaced by a large man with long, spiky white hair and a metal band covering his forehead. His chest was bare and bore a humongous scar. The man looked at the monster, sneered, said something and was then torn apart by the claw-tipped hands. The man morphed into a well-endowed blonde woman and she just lay limply at the monster's feet. In rapid succession the woman morphed into one person after another, one more eccentric than the last, but all of them undoubtedly dead. There was a child with a long scarf, a blonde girl dressed in purple, a fat bloke, a man with a scar across his nose, a young man with a triangle tattooed on his cheeks… At one point, the boggart even showed a large white dog, as far as the blood hadn't turned its fur red.

Finally the boggart noticed Harry, because the monster disappeared and instead Harry heard voices in his head as a Dementor slowly advanced on him. He focused on a happy thought (beating Ron at wizard chess) and conjured up a Patronus. The Dementor slid backwards, tripped over its own mantle and fell down with a resounding crash.

"_Riddikulus_!" Harry yelled and the boggart disappeared in a puff of smoke. Now for the real challenge…

Fox had stopped yelling "_kai_" but breathed as though he had run a lap around the lake. Harry took off his Invisibility Cloak and carefully approached the guard, but didn't dare touch him. Not if he appreciated living.

"Fox?" he asked in a soft voice so as not to startle him too much. But there was no reaction. Harry tried to think of the best thing to say, but his mind kept up giving him errors. He wished Hermione was by his side.

"It wasn't real. It was a boggart, a dark creature that shows your deepest fears. But it's gone now."

That seemed to enter Fox's mind and the guard lowered his hands. Harry saw indentations in his mask. Apparently he had pressed his hands to his face in a desperate attempt to ward of the boggart in his own way.

"Relax, it wasn't real. Nobody has killed your… friends," guessed Harry as his mind flashed back to the corpses. He'd seen a lot of people he thought were around the guard's age, so 'friends' was reasonable.

"Thank you," said Fox in a hoarse voice. Harry moved closer and offered his hand to the guard. The guard took it and Harry felt the tremors still wracking Fox's body as he pulled him to his feet. Was he holding back sobs?

"Please do not tell what you have seen," Fox requested in a shaky voice. Harry nodded.

"Of course. But you might want to learn the spell to get rid of the boggart. Ask professor Moody about it."

"I will. Go now back to bed. For you it not a good time to be here."

And with that, Fox seemed to turn back to normal again, scolding Harry for being out this late. He resisted the urge to point out that he just saved the guard's sanity and that he wasn't going to be able to sleep anytime soon thanks to the gruesome fears that resided in Fox's mind, but he didn't say it out loud. Instead he slipped the Invisiblity Cloak back on.

"You sure you're alright?"

He asked to make sure. The guard shook his head.

"No, but I will be. Go."

Harry went, already thinking of how to tell his friends of this new development.

* * *

"Hey Ron, wake up," said Harry quietly but urgently. With a loud, final snore Ron turned over to his back and blinked sleepily in the excited face of his best friend.

"Whazzat?" he asked, and Harry sat down on the foot end of the bed. Ron's mind tried to catch up to the situation, but it was hard.

"Ron, something happened, with the guards. Well, one guard," said Harry. That woke up Ron a lot more. He sat up in bed and gave Harry his undivided attention.

"Spill," he ordered, and Harry obliged. He told about the Boggart he had found, about the way Fox had reacted and what Harry had seen the Boggart do. None of the other occupants of the room reacted to their frantic whispering, though Neville turned and tossed a lot and muttered things under his breath.

"The Boggart glowed all red," said Harry with urgency in his tone, and Ron nodded thoughtfully.

"Maybe he's a half-ghost," said Ron, but Harry disbelieving stare made him succumb. "Alright, no such things as half-ghosts exist. But still, the glowing means that he's got a lot more magic inside of him, and maybe when he lets it out, it turns him into a monster."

"Hardly likely," countered Harry, "the Boggart shows fear, not fantasies. Maybe he's afraid that his evil twin kills his friends. Or a shapeshifter."

It was Ron's turn to scoff.

"Shapeshifter? Do you know how rare those are? Nah, I'll put my money on dark magic of some sort."

They argued more back and forth, but in the end conceded that they needed Hermione's input if they were to get anywhere, as much as they both didn't like to admit.

It took Harry a long time to fall asleep, and even then he dreamt of red, ancient things lurking in the castle.

* * *

A devastatingly loud snore from Neville woke Harry from his strange dream.

Something about a leprechaun rapping about Devilsnare while juggling Ron's miniature version of Krum. Harry rolled over, checked his watch and groaned softly. The clockwork told him it was 1 AM, which meant he'd have to ignore Neville's snores and try to get back to sleep. Even after four years, Harry still hadn't gotten used to his fellow classmates' snores. He should look into that Silencing Charm, but for now...

He was thirsty. Harry rolled over, trying to ignore his thirst, but it niggled at his throat. With a sigh, Harry got up and hovered his feet above the cold, cold floor. A pitcher and a glass sat on the windowsill for these kinds of occasions, but it was all the way over by the window, and Harry was too much feet from it.

He considered using a Summoning Charm, but he didn't trust himself to keep the pitcher upright yet. So he got up, shivering when the floor-coldness crept into his bare feet and poured himself a glass. He gave the spectacular view out the window a quick glance.

The moon was full and the sky clear, giving Harry a beautiful view of the stars and planets moving through space. With the blanket of snow covering Hogwart's grounds, it might as well be daytime, so bright was it outside. So the two figures having the mother of all snowball fights down below were very visible to Harry.

Harry wondered who would be out there at this time and at this temperature. He could only think of two people: the guards. They finally showed their age, with them both chucking snowballs at each other. Without his glasses Harry couldn't see who was who, so he put the glass back on the windowsill, slipped back to his bed and rummaged through his trunk until he found his omnioculars.

Tiptoeing back to the window, Harry opened the window a fraction. If he was lucky, he could finally learn their real names.

Lifting the omnioculars to his eye, Harry could make out the smirk on Crow's maskless face and the absolutely excited expression on Fox.

They looked so terribly young, but at the moment they were having a wonderful time, or so it seemed. Fox shouted and Crow responded, and luckily for Harry, the wind carried their voices to him. Sadly the words sounded too foreign to discern any names from the jumble and some snippets were lost to the wind, but he got the gist of it. They were simply having fun.

And displayed some of their amazing fighting skills to boot, because they threw their snowballs hard and fast. That made it way too perfect when Fox stumbled over a hidden snow bank and got a face full of snowball. Harry let his omniocular slide back to Crow, and zoomed in on his smirking face. Was he mistaken, or did Crow have red eyes? Like in the Hospital Ward? But then Crow moved and Harry lost him. Quickly he zoomed out and tried to locate them.

Fox chucked a few snowballs at Crow, but he evaded them without any trouble and still with a smirk on his face. Fox called something out to Crow, and let himself fall backwards. He flailed, and when he got up Harry saw that Fox had made a snow angel. Apparently Crow didn't want to do that, since he stuck his hands in his pockets and looked away. This didn't deter Fox, and the blonde guard began rolling a ball across the covered ground while Crow looked on. With him standing still, Harry quickly zoomed in on his face. Crow's eyes were black, though his cheeks were red from the cold. He breathed hard, judging by the quick fog clouds coming from his mouth. Without his mask and plainly playing, Crow looked surprisingly... human. Harry didn't even know the guards knew what 'playing' was, they were always so serious. Well, Crow was, Harry could see Fox engaging in a snowball fight any time of the day.

With the snow being thick and fresh, Fox's ball quickly grew huge. After the snowball grew bigger than himself, he began to have trouble moving it. He got it stuck in a rut, and it wouldn't budge. Without being prompted, Crow stepped forward and placed his hands on the ball, helping it roll. At a remark from Fox, Crow stopped helping and gathered his own snowball. Fox did the same and between the two of them, they quickly made two more giant snowballs.

"Whatcha doing Harry?" Ron's scratchy voice drifted from his bed, and Harry put down his omnioculars to turn to his best friend.

"The guards are playing in the snow."

At that, Ron's eyes widened and he quickly got out of bed. "That, I have to see."

He winced when his feet met the cold floor. Harry's feet had gone numb a while ago, but this rare display of youth in the guards kept him grounded on this position. He shuffled over to make room for Ron. When he refocused on the guards, they had finished their two life-sized balls and were lifting the first one onto the giant snowball. With much yelling and pointing they accomplished this. Their voices sounded clearer now, what with all the yelling, and Ron made interested noise.

"Fox keeps calling Crow 'teme', you noticed that too?"

"Yeah. Think that might be Crow's name?"

Below, the guards had worked out that the second ball was too heavy for them to get all the way up there. Fox put his hands together to make one of his hand-marks, but Crow pulled them apart. Instead, he pulled his wand from one of the many pockets on his body and flicked it. The spell was lost to the winds, but the snowball began to hover, so Harry surmised the guard used _Wingardium Leviosa_. Crow directed the snowball on top of the others, but at a remark from Fox, smacked it into his face instead.

"There it is again, 'teme'," Harry noted out loud.

Ron stroked his chin in thought. " It sounds like a warped version of 'Timmy' to me."

Harry suppressed a snort to keep from waking the others. "You ever heard of a ninja guard called 'Timmy' before?"

Fox was gathering up handfuls of snow while he got up and made a snowball behind his back. When Crow focused on directing the giant snowball, Fox threw it hard and hit Crow smack dab in the middle of his face. The giant snowball fell to the ground.

"No, but then again, I've never heard of real ninja before either."

Crow howled something in that weird language of theirs and abandoned all pretext of being a professional as he tackled Fox. Fox laughed and Crow growled and they rolled in the snow like barbaric snow angels, smearing the white stuff all over each other's face and body.

When they had exhausted themselves, they lay side by side, Fox still with a wide grin on his face and Crow's lips slowly turned upwards as well. They spoke in hushed tones for a while before they got up and began walking back to the castle, until Crow spotted their abandoned snowman. Fox noticed his look, and rushed towards the snowman. Crow started running, forming hand-seals as he went. But Fox arrived there first, something blue and shiny in his hands, about the size of a baseball. He jumped high up in the air above the snowman, and thrust his hand with the blue baseball in it at the snowman. When gravity claimed Fox, the blue ball made contact with the compacted snow and the snowman simply... exploded. Snow flew in every direction and some of it hit Crow, who shielded his face. Within seconds the giant snowman was completely gone, all traces of it eradicated by Fox. Crow lowered his arms, kicked the left-over packed snow and it too fell apart, though less spectacular than Fox's ... spell. Though Harry hadn't seen him pull out his wand or make any hand-seals.

"Wow." Breathed Ron at the casual display of power, and Harry silently agreed.

Together, the two guards made their way to the castle and disappeared from view. Harry lowered his omnioculars and looked at Ron, who was still gaping.

"That was awesome!" he said in a too loud voice, and Harry shushed him. Neville turned over, but Seamus and Dean kept quiet.

"Well, we can check tomorrow if Crow's name really is 'teme'," noted Harry. Now that the show was over, he noticed the cold of the room creeping into his nightshirt and all he wanted to do was curl up in his bed and sleep.

"We'll have to tell Hermione in the morning."

"Yeah, we do. You'll have to tell me everything you saw, too. In the morning."

Ron's face cracked open with a yawn and Harry nodded at Ron as he walked back to his bed. "Of course. Night, Ron."

Ron wished him a good night, and sleep claimed Harry fast, even despite the show he had witnessed outside.

* * *

"Hurry!" yelled Naruto as he raced up the marble staircase, Sasuke hot on his heels. "He's on the sixth floor, in classroom 6A. I heard screaming."

"Right," said Sasuke curtly and he overtook Naruto as they jumped off the banister and rose a floor in one smooth move. They landed right next to a Ravenclaw student who dropped his bottle of ink in shock, but before the guy could even blink they were off again, forgoing to stairs altogether as they ran up the wall. The paintings they passed cried out in shock, but the shinobi didn't slow down.

They somersaulted onto the landing of the sixth floor and shouldered the door open without breaking stride. And then, to their horror, the sound of the bell rang throughout the castle. Doors in the hallways opened and students spilled out.

"Coming through! Out of our way!" yelled Naruto, but the students were slow to react. Too slow, thought Sasuke, and he jumped up to the ceiling. He turned around in mid-air and landed on hands and knees laden with chakra. He started running and within seconds he was ahead of Naruto, who made a desperate jump to a chandelier. Naruto swung from the chandelier and landed on top of a statue.

"That door!" cried Naruto and pointed a door like any other, old oak with a heavy iron handle. Sasuke let himself drop down from the ceiling and landed in front of it. He tried to shoulder it open, but he bounced off just as fast.

"Locked," he grunted, and he reached back for his pouch. But Naruto was ahead of him.

"Away! Everybody away!" he cried, waited two seconds for panic to set in and students to clear before he threw an exploding kunai at the door. He turned his back to the explosion and Sasuke felt slivers of wood penetrate the skin on his back and arms. Together with Naruto he tore through the smoke, kunai at the ready, to come face to face with a white-faced student.

Sasuke recognized him as one of the school champions, Victor Krum. In his hands he held a golden egg which emitted all the screaming Naruto had heard.

"Situation?" demanded Sasuke, but Krum could only gape at them for the moment.

"Are you hurt?" yelled Naruto to be heard over the wailing. His question seemed to snap Krum's attention back to the present and he snapped the opened golden egg shut. Immediately the wailing stopped.

"Are you hurt?" repeated Naruto, but thankfully Krum shook his head.

"No, I'm fine. Why did you-"

"That sound, that came from your egg?" asked Sasuke. Krum nodded.

"Yes, the sound is a clue for the next task."

"So you're not hurt?" asked Naruto again. Sasuke glanced at him. He seemed rather hung up on that, but once again Krum nodded.

"I'm fine. You came here because of the sound?"

"Yes. Sorry to have interrupted you," said Sasuke. "Fox will repair the door." ("Hey!")

Together they trouped out, leaving a stumped Krum behind.


	12. The second task

**A/N:**I can't reply to any reviews currently, so please don't feel ignored. I'm loving every review I'm getting, and I really appreciate the way you speculate and comment on the story. As soon as I'm able I'm going to rewrite chapter 11, because Harry was indeed acting out of character as several people have pointed out.

Here's to hoping FF dot net will get this issue fixed, but in the meantime: here's chapter 12. Enjoy!

* * *

Dumbledore had told them that the champions were told that he took measures to make sure they didn't die or get horribly maimed during the Tournament. The guards were one of those measures, but on this chilly morning they wished that they could shirk that duty somehow.

"I can't feel my toes," informed Naruto his teammate. "And I think my nose is turning black. Is it?"

Sasuke groaned inaudibly as Naruto scrunched up his face, trying to look at his own nose. To be honest, the cold and snow got to him as well. He should've worn those warm robes, but they currently lay neatly folded on his bed, courtesy of the house-elves.

"I can give you a black eye," threatened Sasuke, but his heart wasn't in it. He scanned the tree line of the Forbidden Forest, searching for Giant Fuzzball and the headmaster. Dumbledore told them to come to the edge of the lake, nothing special about that. The special part about it, was that the edge was furthest away from the castle. The edge of the lake only lay sixty feet from the Forbidden Forest.

Finally, after five more minutes of whining from Naruto and Sasuke trying to keep his teeth from chattering, Dumbledore's pointy hat and Hagrid's moleskin coat became visible. They seemed unperturbed by the cold, much to Naruto's dismay.

"Thank you for coming all the way out here," began Dumbledore. Sasuke wanted to say something polite back, as drilled into him by his mother, but knew that if he spoke, his chattering teeth would give Naruto ammunition to mock him. So he gave a sagely nod instead.

"For Hagrid's sake, I'll continue this conversation in English. As you know, the second task is coming, and I need your help with making sure the champions remain alive. I assume you both know how to swim?"

Sasuke didn't bother to answer. He knew Naruto's surprised and insulted guffaw would be answer enough for the shrewd old man. Of course they knew how to swim: they were shinobi!

"Excellent. Because for the second task, the champions have to retrieve something precious to them from the bottom of the lake. A precious person, to be exact."

"How can we assist with that?" asked Sasuke. He felt secretly proud that his teeth hadn't chattered. A shinobi was always in control of his body. Always -

"Achoo!"

Except when a certain Uchiha had to sneeze. Dumbledore smiled. "Bless you. Since you're not from the Water Country, I've enlisted the help of the creatures in the lake to make sure the champions stay alive. The Merpeople have been forthcoming and the giant squid has promised to keep an eye and help where needed."

"The giant squid? He can talk?" Naruto voiced Sasuke's bafflement, though with less eloquence and more of the 'wait, what?' kind. Dumbledore's eyes seemed to sparkle as he answered.

"Not all magical creatures are land creatures, mr. Fox. The squid has a special kind of language, but I've had some time to learn it. At any rate, your job will be to patrol the surface of the lake and help a champion back to the beach when they surface."

A shinobi doesn't question the employer, but Sasuke was too damn cold to care. "I beg my pardon, but why did we have to come all the way out here to hear that?" He imagined the warmth of the fire he missed out on, and a sudden rushing wind chilled him to the marrow of his bones.

"Because I want you to meet the squid, so he doesn't mistake you for a bird and accidentally eats you," said Dumbledore.

Hagrid stepped forward. "That's what I'm here for. I'll call the squid now, then."

The giant man lumbered over to the freezing water and stuck his head under water. He rumbled something at a low frequency, like a whale song. When he came up, he shook his head and Sasuke saw the water drops turn into ice in the air.

"Ah, refreshing," said Hagrid. "Should be a couple of minutes."

"Thank you, Rubeus," said Dumbledore with a smile.

"So, the champions have to go to the lake bottom?" asked Naruto curiously. Dumbledore nodded.

"Yes, their 'cargo' will be held in the Merpeople's village square, and they have to find a way to make it down there without injury."

"Right," said Naruto. "And how can other students watch this? With a camera for under water?"

Dumbledore kept on smiling, but Hagrid looked confused. "Camera? Nah, the kids will have to wait and see who surfaces first. The champs'll have one hour to search the lake, and whoever's back first, wins the most points."

"I... see," said Naruto slowly. Sasuke agreed with his tone. That would be a lot less spectacular to watch than the first task. Freezing your ass off in the February wind while sitting on a chair didn't sound like a lot of fun. Especially when all you saw of the race beneath the waves were ripples of the water.

"Ah, here he comes!" said Hagrid, and walked closer to the water when a shiny, boneless head popped up above the water. Two giant eyes stared at the four humans and a couple of tentacles appeared above water, waving about in the cold air.

"He says 'hello'," translated Hagrid for the shinobi's sake. It seemed as if the tentacles had a life of their own. They flopped about, and Sasuke realized that it communicated with sign language. Hagrid waved back, supporting his gestures with those low whale sounds. Dumbledore also got in on the conversation.

Sasuke noticed that this whole scene was utterly ridiculous. A giant squid, communicating with a overgrown human and an old, wizened wizard.

"You can show him your water-walking now," said Hagrid. "He'll go under and take note of your shapes and patterns, so he won't accidentally eat you."

True to his word, the squid disappeared underneath the surface with nary a ripple. A bit uneasy, Sasuke gathered his chakra and walked out onto the lake, with Naruto in his wake. He saw the dark shape of the squid in the water. Sasuke didn't envy the champions. Just looking at the water made him wrap his arms around himself to keep warm, let alone the magical creatures living in the lake. For once he was happy not to be in the thick of things.

A tentacle appeared above water and gestured for them to get back to shore. The shinobi obliged, hurrying back to not get any more water in their shoes. Waterwalking was great and all, but still: you walked on water, which meant getting your shoes soaked. And in this weather that probably wasn't a bright option. Sasuke could feel his toes go numb.

"The squid says 'thanks'," said Hagrid with a smile. The tentacle disappeared again and the dark shape moved away.

"If that's all, we'll get back to patrol now, we'll see you at dinner" said Sasuke. Or rather, get back to the castle to trade his wet shoes for dry ones, but that didn't sound as professional.

"Yeah, see you at dinner!" echoed Naruto, and he was already running by the time the wizards opened their mouths to say goodbye. Or so Sasuke hoped, because the cold feet were getting uncomfortable.

"Yes, that'll by all. Thank you once again for coming out here," said Dumbledore. His eyes twinkled as if he had read a joke book.

"Bye-bye," said Hagrid. That was Sasuke's cue to join Naruto. He wanted to holler for his teammate to stop for a damn second to not make a scene, but he was too late. Naruto was already telling the winter air "cooooold!".

Sasuke sighed as he jogged back to the castle. For the second task he'd better stock up on warm shoes.

* * *

"That had better be butterbeer you're bringing, you brainless bag of bolts," said Naruto by way of greeting.

"Been working on that sentence?"

"...No. Yes. Don't look at me like that and hand over the butterbeer."

Sasuke kept the precious warm drinks shielded from Naruto. "No."

"Why the hell not? Because I butchered our beautiful language?"

Sasuke hadn't even thought of that, but as long as Naruto supplied a reason, might as well run with it. He nodded, but Naruto didn't believe him for one second. And he always managed to put that so eloquently.

"Bullshit."

The narrow-eyed glare might've been unnerving for a Hogwarts student, but Sasuke was long since used to Naruto's mock anger. Or maybe real annoyance. Either way, Sasuke didn't care. "I didn't know you wanted one," he said smoothly. Naruto spluttered.

"Didn't know you... I'm freezing my ass off on this stupid lake, waiting for some kid to pop up, and you think I don't want a warm drink? I know you're a social idiot, but you're not blind. And I know you have two butterbeers hiding under that thick robe of yours. So, hand me one."

"No."

Sasuke fought to keep the smirk of his face when Naruto reacted so horribly predictable. He choked and his fingers cramped as if he imagined choking the living hell out of someone. Probably Sasuke. But maturity had finally gotten its claws in Naruto somewhat, so he blew out a long breath and threw up his hands in desperation.

"You're an impossible jerk. Fine, I'll go get my own butterbeer. You watch the lake."

Sasuke didn't say anything as he watched his teammate stalk off, all the while muttering under his breath about 'stupid Sasuke'. Sasuke took that opportunity to take a long swig from one of the four bottles he had bought.

Ah, the taste of sweet victory. Baiting Naruto was all too easy, but still rewarding.

While bickering, Sasuke still kept an eye out for any champion surfacing. With Naruto gone for the moment, he focused on that task again. He activated his Sharingan and searched the waters for any sign of the four champions. The way they had entered the lake was in some cases spectacular, in others, less so. Harry Potter looked like he didn't know what he was doing, but Sasuke had caught a flash of webbed hands when the boy dove under.

The bubble-head charm looked useful, but half-transforming into a shark was out of the question. It reminded him too much of Kisame.

His Sharingan wasn't much use when attempting to watch the champions. The lake was imbued with magic, making the whole thing light up like a greenhouse in the countryside. The champions were the stars getting drowned out because of light pollution. Impossible to pick out, unless they went supernova. Or surfaced, in this case.

There. In the distance. The pretty girl 's head appeared above water. Sasuke set the bottle of butterbeer on the water, forgot that it wasn't solid ground (it sure felt like it beneath his warm shoes) and watched it sink for half a second before he ran towards the lonely head. Even from a distance he heard the girl's sobs.

When he reached her, he knelt down and offered his hand to her. "Are you alright?" he asked, and the girl nodded. She wasn't as pretty now, with her hair matted with water and thick tears mixing with snot.

"I vas attacked by Grindylows and I had to ... had to leave Gabrielle!"

She took his outstretched hand, and Sasuke pulled her from the water and onto his back. He sensed a new round of sobs coming, so to distract her, he began running towards the shore.

"Gabrielle! I'm so sorry!"

Sasuke tried to ignore the wailing girl on his back, and he felt glad he could leave her in Madam Pomfrey's care. She tried to get back to the lake, reaching out for her sister. Stupid girl. As if Dumbledore wouldn't take every precaution in this world to ensure the safety of his (and other) students.

The hour mark approached, but only one champion had surfaced. Naruto and Sasuke had taken up point as guards again, though the butterbeer now warmed their bodies. Sasuke was working out the logistics of taking home a case of the curious drink when another bubble-head appeared above water. Cedric, and he had brought his precious person along. The two shinobi helped them on their backs, with Cedric asking questions all the way. 'Am I back on time? Are any others back? How can you walk on water?' And so on. Sasuke gave him some curt answers, and dumped him at Madam Pomfrey's feet.

Not long after that, the half-shark half-boy appeared right next to Naruto, making him jump when he saw a jaw full of teeth aiming for his legs. With a wave of the champions' wand he was back to human again, and nearing exhaustion by the looks of it. Naruto quickly helped him on his back, so Sasuke had to deal with the bushy-haired girl, who was curious about him even when she'd been stuck underwater for over an hour. She asked a lot less questions than Cedric, but her questions were far more intelligent and dangerous. 'Can you walk on the water thanks to your wandless magic, or have you cast a solidifying spell over your feet?'. Sasuke had no idea what a solidifying spell was, so he said 'hn' and practically flew back to the shore. The sooner she got away from him the better.

And then they had to wait for the last champion. Sasuke's butterbeer was long gone, so the cold started to settle in. A strong breeze picked up and chased ripples across the water. Sasuke hoped that Harry Potter wouldn't take long. For a second he had a vision of the scrawny boy floating in the water, drowned. He shook his head. The giant squid wouldn't allow that.

His teeth had begun chattering when finally Harry Potter surfaced, along with the redhead. And then they pulled up another kid. That wasn't supposed to happen, Sasuke mused. He and Naruto sped towards the trio. The girl couldn't swim, so Sasuke picked her up first.

"You'll need to make a clone," he said to Naruto.

"What? And expose it to the whole school?"

"Do you want to make him swim all the way back? In this cold water?"

Naruto had a point, creating a clone in front of the whole school would reveal the secret behind the many guards in the castle. But they couldn't let Harry Potter or the redhead swim all the way back to shore either. So Naruto grumbled but swiftly created a clone, and the three of them hoisted their passengers on their backs and made the final trip back to shore.

Sasuke didn't like the knowing look of the bushy-haired girl one bit. He got distracted from watching the revelation bloom on her face by Madam Pomfrey, who planted herself in front of him. She held out one of her pepper pills.

"Here, I think you could use a pick-me-up too," she stated. Sasuke had seen those pills at work in his time in the hospital ward. He'd rather call Naruto 'master' than take one of those things. Something which made steam come out of his ears probably wasn't good for him. He shook his head and politely declined the offer.

Before the woman badgered him into taking one he walked away, and suppressed a laugh when she forced Naruto to take it instead. His teammate pretended he took it, but Sasuke saw he let it slide into his sleeve.

"Hmm, yes, very warm now," said Naruto, but Madam Pomfrey narrowed her eyes at him.

"Why isn't there steam coming from your ears?"

Naruto floundered, searching for words in the unfamiliar language. He was such a terrible liar.

"Because I... am not a wizard, yes. So that is why no steam. Hey look, I think they're telling the numbers."

When Madam Pomfrey focused on the judges, Naruto booked it out of there. Sasuke kept on walking to get as far away as possible from the fallout zone when she saw that they had disappeared.

"Vud you like to spent a few weeks in the summer vacation with me?"

Sasuke heard Krum ask Hermione. The girl blushed but neatly sailed around giving a definite answer, like only a girl could. When she spotted Sasuke, she quickly said something along the lines of that she wanted to ask the guard something and ran to catch up. The blush hadn't disappeared yet, and her eyes sparkled with interest. She was a lively one, Sasuke gave her that. But she was too smart (and nosy) for her own good, and that would break her up one day.

"Those duplications, that's how you guard the whole castle, right?" She didn't wait for an answer, but ploughed on. "And you create them via wandless magic. The only thing I'm unsure about is how you sustain them."

An invite for an explanation lay in her tone, but Sasuke knew she must have realized that certain information was off-limits. So he threw her a blank look and kept on walking. He wasn't sure where exactly he was going, but couldn't care.

"And you communicate with the duplications, so you know what's going on in the castle. They disappear in a cloud of smoke. Which means that there's a link to the wizard, and if it breaks somehow, the duplicates disappear."

Sasuke was careful to not show his shock at her accurate deductions. He was once again thankful for his mask. Why oh why did that idiotic Harry Potter had to surface with two people? Why couldn't he have brought along one, so Sasuke wouldn't have to shake off an overly curious student.

"Maybe I'm able to make one-"

"No," said Sasuke curtly. Hermione seemed taken aback by the abrupt answer. The girl annoyed him at the moment, but Sasuke didn't want her to perish from chakra loss if she tried to copy their jutsu. She had too little magic to create a complete clone, forcing her to split her precious chakra in two, including her 'life chakra', the bare chakra needed to survive. If that happened, she'd die, and that would be an utter waste. Several shinobi had perished in the past, making it a forbidden jutsu in the first place.

But how to explain it to a girl who'd want to get to the bottom of it?

"It's ... dangerous. You can only use it after years of training in wandless magic, and even then, some die."

That only made her eyes shine brighter. A true Gryffindor, after all. "But it is possible, right?"

It was possible, just not for people of her type of magic. But how to convey that properly without encouraging the girl even more?

"You will die if you try it. So don't."

By doing it the only way he knew how: blunt and honest. Or as he liked to mentally call it: the Naruto way. The girl chewed on those words for a few seconds, and then backed off, literally. She walked back to the group of people still at the edge of the lake.

"Thanks," she called, and the concerned red-haired boy and the special charge claimed her attention.

Sasuke looked back once more at the happy group of people and felt something stir within. A dark voice in his mind awoke. If he had to do this task, who'd be his precious person? Would he swim down, only to find an empty statue?

* * *

Both guards started sprinting at the same time when they heard an unfamiliar voice cackling from their room. They positioned themselves on both sides of the door and at a nod from Sasuke Naruto kicked the door open.

"Drop your weapons!" he yelled, a kunai in one hand and the other hand poised to fling shuriken. The room, however, was empty. Unless you looked up, because shinobi had that nasty wall-clinging ability.

A ghost floated in mid-air. Though it wasn't one of the see-through ghosts which roamed the castle and startled the shinobi more than should be legal. This one was a lot more visible (it even wore Naruto's favorite color), and it cackled as it ripped up the sheets which previously covered the beds. At Naruto's Dynamic Entry the ghost turned and cocked its (his?) head.

"Oh? It's the cute animal guards. Foxy-woxy and Crow-face, bursting in to chase little ol' innocent me away?"

"We'll give you one chance to walk away," Naruto said in his Serious Voice, none too happy with the ruined sheets. Those were nice sheets, damn it. Hopefully the ghost hadn't ruined any scrolls, or he'd Rasengan it from one end of the Hogwarts castle to the other next time he came across it.

The ghost cackled and dumped the sheets (or what was left of them) on the ground. It blew a raspberry before replying:  
"Whatcha gonna do, Woxy-proxy? You gonna throw those butter spreaders at me? My, how barbaric."

Sasuke slipped into the room behind Naruto and threw a kunai at the ghost. It went right through him, as expected.

"Leave," he ordered, but the ghost pulled a face and flipped him off. Sasuke let his fingers form in familiar seals and said: "Chance's up."

The room filled with the chittering of a thousand birds. Naruto stepped out of the way and let Sasuke charge and jump up to the ghost, who clearly wasn't expecting this. Its eyes grew wide and it tried to say something before the Chidori engulfed him. This jutsu didn't go right through it, it ate a chunk out of its shoulder. Sasuke neatly landed on the floor and let the electricity dissipate. The ghost reeled from the blow, pirouetting in mid-air. When it came to a stop it looked at the missing chunk with wide eyes before its eyes traveled to Sasuke.

"Next time, I aim for your head," said Sasuke in a low voice, and the ghost did an 180 personality-wise. It bowed and took of its bell-covered hat. Its voice was filled with awe and respect, and the informal inflection was gone.

"Peeves is sorry that he caused such trouble for the guards. Peeves will never ever intrude on this room again. Please do not destroy Peeves' head, guard-with-shiny."

Then the ghost fled the room at top-speed. Naruto couldn't help but grin when he closed the door behind him.

"At least 'guard-with-shiny' is better than 'crow-face', right, Sasuke?"

Sasuke took of his mask and threw it on his naked bed. He scowled more than usual.

"If this small fry can get in here, we need to be more careful. Maybe he or others like him can be sent to kill us."

"I think it's just a practical joker," began Naruto, but he hastily added: "but I see your point. We need to report this to the employer, and find some new sheets."

Sasuke walked towards the bathroom. "You go do that. I'm going to take a bath."

And he slammed the door. Naruto considered kicking the door open and tell his teammate what he thought of him ordering the future Hokage around, but dropped it. Instead he wrote an insult on Sasuke's mask with some charcoal and left to take care of those tasks.

* * *

Since Hogwarts never seemed to run out of space, the teachers owned their own homes within the castle. Students had to share bedrooms, but every teacher got their own living room, bedroom and bathroom in the giant castle. It wasn't uncommon to see a teacher move from their office to their house-room with armfuls of papers to be graded.

Naruto knew roughly where each teacher lived, but hadn't been inside one of those house-rooms before. The houses hid behind ordinary doors, with no marks whatsoever what the door was for.

Some doors were charmed so that when the teacher wasn't in the house, the door led to the next corridor. Only when the teacher said the password to the house did the door actually lead to the house. Some doors hid behind portraits, others only appeared if you used a certain spell on that bit of wall.

Without an invitation, one had little hope of getting into a teacher's home.

Luckily for the shinobi, professor McGonagall agreed to lend Sasuke a book on transfiguration. She kept the book in her private library in her house, and since they stood close to the entrance anyway, she invited them in.

Swiftly she walked to a door which usually led to the corridor on the seventh floor, and drew her wand.

"Alohomoraelo," she said, pointing at the door, and it glowed blue for a second. When she opened it, Naruto caught a glimpse of a large room with a red-golden carpet and a black sofa, before McGonagall's body blocked the view. She walked inside, leaving the door open.

Naruto hadn't been raised properly, but even he knew that you didn't enter a person's home without them inviting you in first. Politely the shinobi waited outside, until McGonagall called: "come in."

They stepped inside, and Naruto looked at the room. It had a high ceiling, with a small chandelier hanging from it. The walls were the same color as Hogwarts', with two brown doors leading to other rooms. The room was functionally decorated, with colors of red, gold and black. The seating arrangement showed that McGonagall preferred to be alone, because there was one sofa and one lazy chair, next to a huge bookcase which stretched all the way up to the ceiling.

Before Naruto and Sasuke stepped further into the room they removed their shoes. That particular custom had to be explained to Naruto by Iruka-sensei, because usually he wandered into people's homes with his shoes on. Then again, he didn't get invited a lot. Never, actually, so he got an earful from his sensei and from there on out always removed his shoes, to the point where it didn't even cross his mind to enter a person's home with his shoes on.

"Here you go, mr. Crow, I believe this book can teach you a lot about transfiguration and the underlying magical principles of it. It's complicated, but since I'm a teacher anyway, I can handle one more student."

She said it matter-of-factly, without a grin on her face. Naruto found it scary that he hadn't seen her grin at least once. Sasuke stepped forward to receive the book, and that's when she noticed.  
"Where are your shoes, mr. Crow?"

Sasuke involuntarily looked back at the door, where a pair of blue sandals and a pair of black sandals stood side by side, abandoned by their owners. McGonagall followed his gaze and raised her eyebrows at the sight. "A custom of your culture, I suppose?"

Sasuke nodded silently. McGonagall held the book out to him and Sasuke bowed, taking the book in both hands.

"Thank you for going to the trouble for lending me this book," he said. Naruto recognized it as a modified 'thank you'-speech in their native language. English wasn't a good language to communicate the nuances of hierarchy in.

But McGonagall was more interested in something other than the stunted speech. "Why do you do that?"

When Sasuke's mask stared at her for a few seconds without saying anything, she elaborated. "The bowing. You bow when you take the book, when you talk with a professor, when you greet a store clerk..."

She let her enumeration taper off, and her sharp eyes communicated that she had been watching them. Closely, if she named those examples off the top of her head. Naruto spoke before Sasuke could, because this was a part of their culture he could explain for once.

"Because it's rude not to," he said. "You're a sensei, a teacher. We respect you when we bow. We say 'hello' to store clerks when we bow."

"We use a bow like you use a handshake," said Sasuke, though as far as Naruto knew that wasn't entirely true. Bowing was used a lot more than handshakes, and for different situations.

"So you bow when you show respect," said McGonagall. The shinobi nodded.

"So how come you don't bow to each other?" she asked, and Naruto suppressed a snort.

"Because he's a bas-"

"Because," Sasuke cut him off, "we're teammates, and we bow to each other before we spar. But since we're teammates, we're more ... normal. Casual. To each other."

"Informal is the word you're looking for I believe," said McGonagall. Sasuke nodded, and softly repeated the word.

"And the shoes?" asked McGonagall, indicating the footwear with her hand.

"We respect your house," said Naruto, and Sasuke added: "so we take them off to not get dirt inside."

McGonagall nodded understandingly.

"I see. Well, I won't keep you any longer. Thank you for indulging me."

Without a hint of sarcasm she bowed, though it was too short and too light to be anything but a strange bow. Naruto automatically bowed back and Sasuke once again thanked her for lending him the book. Together they walked back to the door, put on their shoes and left the house, with a final "goodbye" from Naruto.

"Y'know, I never thought about our customs," said Naruto while walking next to Sasuke.

"I did," said Sasuke, "and I think it's better if you stop slurping your food so much. I don't think it's customary here and people are pulling disgusted faces when you do that. Though that could also be from your smell."

Naruto objected to that and together they ventured into the familiar territory of bickering, all thoughts about customs and traditions forgotten.


	13. Kuchiyose no jutsu: Trevor style!

**/N:** I still can't reply to reviews. This makes me a sad panda. And I just *love* the way FF dot net addresses this problem. No word on any bug fixes, updates, anything whatsoever. As for the lateness of these chapter(s): real life got in the way. But here's a double dose to make up for it. Enjoy!

* * *

"This damn toad followed me around all day. It belongs to that lanky kid from Gryffindor."

Naruto pointed accusingly at a toad squatting on the ground. It was a dull toad, much unlike Naruto's summons. It croaked once and hopped closer to Naruto, its wet eyes not once breaking contact with Naruto's shins.

"Looks like a normal toad. Maybe the flies that you attract with your hygiene appeals to it. And they're _all_ lanky, idiot," said Sasuke as he scowled at Naruto from his position on the bed. Most of his weapons laid around him, and he sharpened them with a spell he had copied off the tiny professor with his Sharingan. It took a lot of precise control, but so far two kunai and three shuriken had been sharpened. One kunai had melted and Sasuke had to dodge two exploding shuriken, making this a perilous way of sharpening weapons. It, however, was terribly fast and beat whetting the metal for hours to get that able-to-cut-silk-sharpness.

"Maybe it's a descendant from a summoning. I've never heard of it, but it sure seems to like me. Let's see if I can summon it from over there."

Naruto ran to the other side of the room. Trevor croaked once and hopped after him. Before the toad completed the journey, Naruto bit his thumb and formed the necessary seals.

"Kuchiyose no jutsu! Trevor style!" [1]

Sure enough, the toad disappeared from his spot and appeared under Naruto's outstretched hand.

"Cool!" exclaimed Naruto and picked up the toad. "Can you talk, then? It's alright, I've got a contract with toads. You don't have to play a dumb animal for me."

The toad croaked.

"Yeah, I might have a contract, but I can't understand that. You're gonna have to speak a human language. I also understand English, if that's more convenient."

It croaked again.

"You don't understand a word I'm saying, do you?"

The toad stared at him with its wet eyes. Naruto sighed and tucked it under an arm. With his free hand he grabbed his mask and put it on. "Be right back, gotta give this toad back to that kid. Don't explode my stuff."

Sasuke grumbled something but soon forgot about Naruto and the strange toad in order to keep his weapons from spontaneously combusting and/or melting in his hands.

Since curfew was in place, the halls were deserted. Here and there Naruto heard footsteps, but those were his clones making their rounds, or teachers walking from one place to another. He made his clones make audible footsteps to keep the teachers happy. An invisible guard was the best guard in Naruto's eyes, but civilians thought otherwise.

The other sound which occasionally drifted through the halls was the toad's croaks. The animal possessed some form of intelligence, judging by the way it had kept on dogging Naruto's heels. It had even followed him across some shortcuts and avoided a trap in one of the staircases.

"Sorry lil' guy, but I'm not your master. You'll have to stay with that kid, Tallbutt," Naruto said in low tones, and got a croak in response. He made sure that the toad tucked under his arm was in a comfortable position. He'd prefer to carry the toad on his head to keep his hands free, like he had done with Gamakichi, but he didn't trust the toad enough to keep put.

"Hors d'oeuvre," Naruto said to the painting of the Fat Lady and she swung open without further comment.

Some students sat in the lazy seats in the Gryffindor's common room, though the majority had gone to bed. The few remaining ones stared at Naruto. It wasn't every day that one of the guards calmly entered through the portrait hole while holding a toad. The common room went dead silent in the span of a second, a silence which Trevor broke with the loudest croak yet. Naruto grinned underneath his mask and looked at the nearest student. A redheaded girl, quill still in hand.

"This guy," Naruto jiggled the toad a little, "is Tallbutt's, right?"

The redhead looked quizzical, and focused on the toad. "I think that's Trevor, yeah. You might want to check with Neville though. And his name is Longbottom, not 'Tallbutt'."

A few snickers broke loose here and there from the on looking students, making Naruto grin even wider. At least this redheaded girl didn't flinch back in "the guard's" presence, like so many others did. He liked her. "And where's mr. Neville? He here?"

The girl shook her head. "No, he went to bed early. But you can leave Trevor here, I'll make sure to keep an eye on it."

The offer was friendly, but Naruto shook his head. He was going to see this through to the end (and ask Neville where he got a descendant from a summoning-animal). "Where is he? Say it, please."

He got directions and trudged up the stairs. The door wasn't hard to find, though one of the students from the common room followed him. The guy wasn't subtle about it, and Naruto guessed that the guy hadn't been planning on going to bed at this exact time. He shrugged (and almost dislodged Trevor). He'd do the same if a strange guard went to somebody's bed.

Naruto found the appropriate door and knocked three times. A sleepy voice from inside called him in, and Naruto entered the spacious room.

"Wassamatter?" called a male voice, and three curious heads poked out from under the covers.

"Who's Neville?" asked Naruto in a loud voice, but it took a few seconds before he got a reply.

"That's Neville," said a brown-haired kid, and pointed at one of the beds. "But he's already asleep. What do you need him for?"

"His toad was … stalking me, is the word I think."

"Trevor? That toad's dumber than a dead log. Just put him on that trunk, and when you leave, close the door. That's enough to keep him here."

Again with the offer to watch over the toad. These kids were nice, admitted Naruto. But now that he had come all this way, he was going to get his answer.

"I want to ask Neville something about Trevor," explained Naruto, and walked over to the sleeping boy. The brown-haired kid followed his movements with curiosity, and Naruto heard the covers on the nearby beds rustling as their occupants awoke. Only Neville kept on sleeping, until Naruto poked his shoulder. With a bleary eyed look the boy opened his eyes, focused on the window and promptly closed them again.

"It's still dark out," he muttered, and apparently hadn't even registered that a shinobi stood next to his bed. But when Naruto poked him again, his eyes focused longer on his surroundings and he scrambled upwards to the head of the bed at the sight of Naruto's fox-mask looming over him.

"Trevor was stalking me, so I want to give him back," Naruto explained, and handed the toad over to a bewildered Neville. The boy looked at the toad now sitting on the covers on his lap before looking back up at Naruto. "Thanks. I hadn't realized he'd gone. I'd have to look all over for him again. So..."

Naruto felt the awkwardness the boy radiated grow, and the curiosity peaked on the other boy's faces. Naruto put his hands in his pockets. He might be here a while.

"Where did you get your toad?" asked Naruto.

The boy closed one eye briefly as he thought back. "My uncle gave it to me. I reckon he got it from a pet shop." Trevor croaked once and Neville petted it.

"Because he's a smart toad. Very smart. Maybe even one of the children of a ... called animal," said Naruto. The brown-haired kid piped in again.

"Called animal? What do you mean?"

Naruto caught himself performing the first hand signs of the summoning jutsu, and balled his hands into fists. He knew his vocabulary wasn't big enough to describe the summoning jutsu, but he tried anyway. "You know, you write your name with blood on a… special paper and then you have a ... an animal that you call when you have trouble. They talk and live in another world."

Five blank stares were the response to that explanation, and Naruto got his hands out of his pockets. "I'll show you." He flashed through the seals and focused on summoning Gamakichi. "Kuchiyose no jutsu!"

Neville jumped at the sudden explosion of smoke, but gaped once the smoke cleared.

"Yo, Na-"

Naruto clamped his hand over Gamakichi's mouth and hissed: "mission. My name's Fox."

He turned to the astonished boys, one of which pointed at Gamakichi. "It spoke!" The redhead (Roy? Ru?) declared dramatically, and Naruto nodded enthusiastically.

"Yeah, his name is Gamakichi. This is what I said about special paper and special animals."

"You meant a giant orange talking frog? Who's wearing clothes?" the special charge asked in disbelief. Naruto felt Gamakichi's mouth open, and he let go of him.

"Toad. I am a toad," he said in heavily accented English, and this time Naruto's stared at him.

"How did you learn to speak English?" he asked in his native tongue. Gamakichi shrugged.

"You're not the only one who's done a stint in this country. Now, was there something you wanted me for, or are you just showing off?"

Naruto grew sheepish and placed his hands in his neck, elbows pointing outward.

"Err, the second option. But wait!" Naruto hurried to add, seeing Gamakichi's expression grow annoyed. "There was something I wanted to ask you. See that toad over there?"

Trevor croaked and surveyed the scene with interest, most particularly Gamakichi's presence.

"I think it's a descendant of a summoning," said Naruto. "Have you ever heard of that?"

Gamakichi nodded. "Yeah, sometimes when a toad and a toadette love each other very much-"

"Are you," Naruto asked in a skeptical tone, "giving me info on sex?"

Gamakichi's mouth opened, but no words came out. Maybe he hoped a fly would fly in there, but most likely Gamakichi remembered that Naruto had traveled with Jiraiya for six months, and even before that, was the master of the Sexy Jutsu. He huffed and pretended that that didn't happen.

"You never know with kids," he said, but quickly kept on talking to cover up his mistake. "Anyhow, yeah, sometimes kids of summoning are born in this world. Generally they're left here, unless they show signs of intelligence. Then we take them to our world, to train them as basic summonings. But I guess this guy didn't make the cut."

The Gryffindor students had noticed the finality in Gamakichi's tone, and Neville cleared his throat.

"So, what's the verdict?"

At puzzled expressions from both guard and toad, he clarified: "Is Trevor a child of ... him?"

"No," answered Gamakichi quickly, Naruto noted. He made a mental note to ask Gamakichi about any special toadettes later, but for now focused on the question at hand.

"Trevor could be a child of a called animal. But he's not Gamakichi's, right, Gamakichi?" He said in English, and added in his native tongue: "Or am I missing something? Got any special ... ladies at home?"

Later might as well be a minute later. This opportunity was too good to pass up. Gamakichi went still, but then shook his head with force. "No. Shut up, 'Fox'."

At the implied threat, Naruto reined himself in. No use letting Gamakichi blow his (shaky) cover over something so small.

"If that's all, I'd rather be on my way. Got lots of things to do."

Gamakichi waited until Naruto nodded before he poofed out of this dimension. In the sudden silence, Naruto stretched and said: "I'll go too. Sorry I made you awake. Goodnight."

Before the boys properly recovered and bombard him with questions he didn't want to answer, Naruto moved out of the dormitory. The students who still sat in the common room stared at him again, so he gave them a jaunty wave.

"Goodnight!" he called, and disappeared through the portrait hole. Mission accomplished, and hopefully Trevor would stop stalking him.

* * *

As every boy knew, unspoken rules existed about using the restroom in Hogwarts.

First off, boys will not talk in the restroom. A nod between friends is allowed, as long as they don't keep eye contact for more than a second. Looking in the mirror for a long time, forbidden.

And the most important rule of all: there must always be at least one urinal between boys. If there is no room, the boy entering will use a stall.

Harry looked involuntarily over his shoulder when someone opened the door directly behind him. He just walked into the restroom, but apparently Fox stalked him, because the guy entered barely a second after. They nodded to each other, but even a foreigner like Fox knew about these unspoken rules, because he headed to a stall while Harry moved to an urinal. Since there were four urinals and a fat bloke from Hufflepuff already claimed the one on the second right, Harry was forced to take the utmost left one. Since he didn't know him, they didn't nod at each other, and kept staring straight at the wall, as per the rules.

And then Fox decided to break all the rules in one fell swoop.

Harry just zipped up when Fox let out a bloodcurdling high scream and exploded out of the stall, taking the door with him. He had shoved up his mask so it rested on top of his head, showing a terrified face to the world. The door fell to the floor with a loud clang, and a second later the side of the stall followed, clattering against the nearest urinal. Fox pointed at the exposed toilet and yelled at it in his native language, his voice still too high.

Harry's hand crept to his wand, but before he could grab it he nearly got a heart attack himself when a girl's head popped out of the toilet. A see-through girl, one he recognized as Moaning Myrtle, who usually haunted the girl's restroom on the second floor. The fat bloke yelped and bolted out of the restroom as fast as his legs carried him.

Fox was still yelling, and Harry felt pretty sure it wasn't entirely clean language. Moaning Myrtle looked ready to cry, like always.

"Relax," said Harry finally, breaking the rules of the men's restroom himself. "That's Moani- That's Myrtle, a ghost who haunts the girl's bathroom on the second floor. She's harmless."

At his voice the girl floated out of the toilet and seemed to regain control over her emotions.

"Hello Harry," she said, and Fox finally stopped yelling.

"Do not _ever_ do that," he said, frowning. "I almost pissed on me."

Harry didn't need that mental image, but Fox went on.

"Why here come? This is a _men's_ room! Get out!"

Moaning Myrtle's lower lip started to quiver and Harry took a step back, in case she dove back in the toilet. He didn't want to get soaked by the questionable contents of that toilet.

"I just wanted to see somebody!" she cried. "But I'll go if you don't want me! Nobody likes me!"

And, predictably, she disappeared back into Hogwarts' sewage system via the toilet, splashing toilet water on the floor. Fox walked over to the toilet, bent over it and shook a fist at it.

"Nobody likes you because you _come from the toilet_! Freak!"

As a response water shot out of the toilet and right into Fox's face, who spluttered, gagged and then ran to the sink to wash his face, gagging all the way. He even scrubbed his tongue with his hand before he turned the tap off.

Harry tried hard not to laugh, but mentally he saw Fox getting hit in the face with toilet water and he broke down, laughing until his sides hurt. And to his surprise, Fox joined him.

"I was... and then the girl..." Fox wheezed and couldn't form a coherent sentence.

"She appeared... in the toilet?" Harry asked in between howls of laughter, and Fox nodded vigorously.

When they had calmed down Fox wiped his face dry on his sleeve and looked Harry in the eye. Another rule broken. Harry figured this was a perfect moment to say something momentous, maybe ask a question about where he came from, but Fox turned towards an urinal.

"Man I gotta piss," he said bluntly.

Harry wiped the tears of laughter from his eyes and wanted to walk out of the restroom, but his eye fell on the ruined stall. He had learnt _Reparo_ a long time ago, and maybe he could use it on the stall. He pretended to be busy at the sink and checked his reflection, breaking the last rule. When Fox zipped up Harry turned around and indicated the stall.

"We should probably fix that," he said, and Fox seemed to take in the damage for the first time. He nodded, and picked up the side of the stall.

"You take the door, and I pick, no, hold them like they were," said Fox. Harry took out his wand and showed it to Fox.

"_Reparo_ is the spell you use if you want to repair something," he said, and Fox grinned. Harry was once again struck by how young the guard was. The girls probably felt it was a shame he kept a good-looking face like that hidden behind a mask.

"Handy to have, magic, huh?" said Fox rhetorically and held the side of the stall next to the door Harry had picked up. Harry pointed the wand at the panels of wood and said: "_Reparo_." Immediately the panels joined together, the hinges were fixed and the stall was back as if the whole incident had never happened.

"Thanks," said Fox, and slid the mask back on. He walked to the door of the restroom while Harry made sure the door to the stall actually opened and closed again.

"No problem," said Harry. "See you around."

"See ya," said Fox, and disappeared through the door.

Harry let out a last chuckle at the whole thing. Trust the guard to make something dull like a restroom visit into something spectacular.

* * *

For once Hermione didn't mind getting up so early on a Saturday. The sun told her it was shaping up to be a lovely spring day, and she looked forward to the Duelling class. More so than usual, actually.

The guards made you work hard, but Hermione started to notice the benefits of a fit body. Climbing stairs had never been easier and she could carry more books around. She didn't have to worry about what she ate anymore, because anything would burn off when she did her laps around the castle. It felt surprisingly good to run. It freed her mind and made her think about things she otherwise wouldn't reflect upon, because she was too busy reading books.

And today they told the group they'd begin teaching small wandless spells, or as they called it, _jutsu_. She couldn't help but do some research on the subject, but she didn't get any further than 'an essay on the magicks of the hidden world of the shinobi'. Sadly that essay was filled with inaccurate information, if the information gleaned from the guards was any indication.

So for once she had no idea what she was getting into, and that intrigued her. And scared her, because what if she was terrible at it?

She tried to shake those thoughts as she dressed and went to get breakfast in the Great Hall.

The other students seemed excited as well, and when Ron and Harry finally joined her they didn't complain about the early hour as usual. Instead they brainstormed about what _jutsu_ the guards would teach them.

"Maybe that water dragon spell?"

"Or the huge fireball!"

"The swirly-blue thing would be cool."

Ron and Harry summed up all the _jutsu_ they had seen in the course of the year, but Hermione shook her head at all of them. Those looked advanced. If she had written the lesson plan, they'd start off with something small but useful.

"We'll see," she said instead, and grabbed a last piece of toast as the trio got up to head outside. They spotted Fox and Crow sitting at the Slytherin table, and they too got up.

"So, what are you gonna teach us?" asked Ron in a sugar-laced voice, but Crow cocked his head.

"You'll see."

Which left Ron muttering and Hermione and Harry grinning. They followed the guards outside, but lost them as they sprinted off, arms trailing behind them.

"I'll bet that's a _jutsu_," said Harry.

Once everybody was present the chattering voices rose as the excited students talked amongst themselves. They stood near the edge of the lake. When Fox raised his voice, the chattering died out unnaturally quick. It seemed like Hermione wasn't the only eager one this morning.

"Thank you all for being here. Today we start with a new part of training: using inside chakra to do a jutsu. You have trained real hard this year, and we're proud of you. You have come real far, and now we reward you. We'll teach you two of our jutsu. The _henge _[2]," Fox gestured at Crow and Hermione shifted her focus. Crow made a hand signal and disappeared in smoke, and a stern-looking older man appeared once the smoke cleared. He had black hair and wore a wizard's robe. He could've walked through Diagon Alley without anyone looking at him twice. It was the perfect disguise. A lot better than polyjuice potion, thought Hermione.

"And the _bunshin_."

This time Fox himself made a hand signal and a second Fox flickered into existence, accompanied by smoke. Fox waved a hand through the image, and it warped around his hand but continued to exist.

"It's fake, but you can make it move and make the enemy think that it's the real you."

The image waved at the students and poofed out of existence. Crow, who had dispelled the _henge_, took a step forwards. Before he opened his mouth, one of the students raised his hands.

"So what does _Kagebunshin_ mean? What's the difference between a bunshin and a kagebunshin?"

Fox nodded at the student.

"You pay very good attention. _Kage bunshin_ means that you make the bunshin touchable. It's a real copy, not a fake."

Before anyone asked 'but why won't you teach us _that_ instead?', Fox's voice turned serious.

"But it's very dangerous. Please don't try to use it, even if you know how to do it. It can kill you. It _will_ kill you because your chakra is too small. Only people with lots of chakra can use it without killing himselves. So don't."

The student nodded, properly cowed. Fox's voice turned happy again, as if he had never warned for grave danger.

"Right, so, the jutsu. You've probably seen us do things with our fingers," he said as he twisted his fingers into one of his hand signals. "They're called hand seals and you use them to direct the flow of chakra. You have to mold chakra and use it to do jutsu."

"There are twelve recognized hand seals," said Crow, "but for these jutsu you only need to learn two of them."

He showed them the two hand seals and Hermione felt silly copying them without anything happening.

"And there's the chakra focus hand seal," added Fox and showed them how to do that too. The guards had them practice the hand seals for a few minutes until they twisted their fingers in the appropriate positions without hesitation.

"Now the hard part," said Crow as he made the chakra-focus hand seal. "You have to start molding chakra. With your magic, you draw on the magic in the air around you, or the 'natural' chakra of the world. This time, it has to come from inside you. Close your eyes and focus on the magic inside of you."

"No matter how stupid that sounds," said Fox with a smile in his voice.

"When you feel it, try to bring it to your hands. Change from the focus seal to the bunshin seal, and direct your chakra towards creating a bunshin. Picture yourself in a mirror, and force the chakra in a similar shape. You'll know when you've succeeded."

It was one of the weirdest set of instructions Hermione had ever gotten, and she tried, she really did. But no matter how hard she focused or pictured, she didn't find the 'magic inside'. All around her the students produced various variations on bunshins. Some were formless shapes in the air, while others where more like a mirage. To her relief nobody created a complete one yet, though Dean managed to create a similar bunshin to himself. He only had to get it to stand up and it'd be the same quality as Fox's.

Even Ron was more in touch with the chakra inside him than Hermione, and with a cry of surprise he made something shimmer in the air, something which waved at Harry and then disappeared. Harry's bunshin had more shape, but the only distinguishable characteristic was a mop of black hair. The rest of it shimmered like a desert road.

Hermione once again closed her eyes and focused on herself. She knew what laws bound magic, and where magic came from. But from inside? She'd thought that chakra and magic were somewhat similar, but apparently there were still enough differences to make this difficult. All intriguing and research-worthy, but it didn't help her create a bunshin.

"Any success?" asked a voice to her left, and she opened her eyes to find Fox's mask hovering right behind her shoulder. Hermione bit back a cry of frustration as she shook her head. All around her students created bunshins left and right, becoming more and more successful as time passed. Fox nodded sagely.

"Maybe you can't mold chakra. It happens, I know a shinobi who can't mold chakra very good."

Hermione was puzzled. "How can he not mold chakra and still be a shinobi?"

Fox cocked his head at the question. "There are other ways, and he can mold a little chakra. He focuses on other parts and trains really hard."

Hermione was relieved that she wasn't an oddity, but it still frustrated her that she was the only one in this group who had trouble with the exercise. "Is there any way I can know if I can't mold chakra?"

Fox cocked his head again, but shook his head. "I'll have to ask Crow, I have no idea. Stop with trying to mold chakra for now, and we'll figure something out after class. If you're free, that is."

A pile of homework waited for her in the common room, but at the moment this was more important to her. She nodded. "Yes, I have some time. What should I do instead?"

Fox shrugged. "Train a bit, but stick around and come to us after the class."

Hermione nodded and turned around to separate herself from the group. After explaining to Ron and Harry what was going on, she sat on one of the rocks at the lake and looked at the practicing students. They worked hard, maybe even harder than Hermione had ever seen them work. Ron was particularly enthusiast, and had a cute look of utter concentration on his face. It was nice to see that even a laidback guy like Ron actually warmed up to something educational. Even if Ron probably wanted to create a water dragon or giant fireball. It didn't matter.

Dean was by far the most successful of the lot. His bunshin now stood on two legs and only slightly tilted this way and that, looking like a drunk Dean. But the resemblance was uncanny. Two Deans stood there, no mistake about it.

Crow walked by and nodded at Dean, which in Crow-talk was a big compliment, or so Hermione had learned. She began doing warming-up exercises in case she needed to train more with the guards later on.

After an hour of practicing Fox called for their attention. "I've seen a lot of you do a lot of good bunshins. The key is to keep trying. But chakra comes from inside, like we told you. This means that you can run out of chakra. And that's very unpleasant, and you'll faint and sleep like you've never sleeped before."

"Our _sensei_ managed to use up so much chakra he had to stay in bed for an entire week," said Crow.

"So when you start to feel tired: stop. Now that you know how to use chakra, you can start building it up. Chakra is a combination of ... mental and physical abilities. Did I say that right?" Fox directed his question at Crow, who nodded. Fox continued his speech.

"That's why we've had you train so much, so you could build chakra. Practice your bunshin for now, and next week we'll start on _henge_."

"Questions?" asked Crow, and he seemed to deflate when at least a third of the students raised their hands. The guards answered them one by one, and they ranged from 'how much chakra do _you_ have?' 'Loads more than you at the moment' to 'But Gowin's law says that all five paths of magic are bound to the core of the essence of a person and not floating about in natural chakra of the world' 'I have no idea what you just said. Next.'

Finally, after a grueling drilling session in which the answers of the guards raised only more questions, Fox threw up his hands.

"That's all the time we have, people! Please, ask your questions next week. I don't know about you, but I'm hungry. So let's go already."

Fox jumped down from the stone he stood on and waded through the students with a determined stride, Crow in his wake. After a few steps Fox turned around and beckoned for Hermione to follow them, which she did after shrugging off curious glances. The other students fell into step behind her, though some of them stayed behind at the lake.

"So they're going to help you with your ... thing, right?" asked Ron once he caught up to her.

"I hope they can help me," said Hermione. "But Fox called for me, I'd better go ask what he's got on his mind."

She hurried towards the guards and started walking next to Fox, with Crow still a few steps behind.

"So," she started, but had no idea how to continue. Luckily, Fox was enough of a chatterbox that it didn't matter.

"We'll help you try to mold some chakra, but first comes lunch. Meet us here at the edge of the lake after, and we'll bring some things to help you."

Hermione smiled at them and fell back, once again joining Ron and Harry. She stuffed her face with as much toast as she could find and was back at the edge of the lake before Ron finished deciding what he'd eat for lunch this time. The guards took longer to get there, so Hermione started herself on some warming up exercises, like she had done an hour before. To her surprise Dean walked up to her fifteen minutes later.

"Waiting for the guards as well?" he asked, and Hermione nodded slowly.

"Yeah."

She didn't want to elaborate as to why she had to wait. It was hard enough be a failure without a classmate rubbing it in. But Dean had apparently paid attention to her, because he said: "So they're gonna give you some extra training, right?"

Hermione blushed but she held her head high. Last year she couldn't beat the Boggart who told her that she had failed all of her exams, but she had learnt since then. Failing happened to everyone, even her, no matter how hard she worked.

"Don't worry, I'm not here to make fun of you," Dean reassured her. "They asked me to come here, said they had some 'special training' for me."

Oh no. Were they going to make Dean teach her? It was hard enough to fail when the guards taught her, let alone a classmate. She knew that she had let the silence continue too long and she started making small-talk about the guards and what would be in store for them.

* * *

A/N: The scenes in the men's room were inspired by one of those "men's room etiquette" diagrams that float around the Internet. I imagined how Naruto could break every one of those rules, and the bunny was born.

[1] Summoning jutsu

[2] Transform


	14. Duelling at the lake

**A/N:** And Dean gets more screen time. I really love this character, have you noticed?

* * *

After another fifteen minutes she spotted the guards running towards them with their special run, and they stood in front of them before Hermione even began to think of saying "hello".

"Hi!" beamed Fox, and gestured towards the far edge of the lake. "We wanted to train over there."

Hermione had observed that Fox wasn't good at manners, so she let the abrupt start slide. Silently she and Dean walked towards the lake, with Fox and Crow discussing something in their own language behind their backs. Hermione felt as if they talked about her, though her rational mind told her that it'd make no sense.

To distract herself she struck up a conversation with Dean about what the third task could be, and they lost themselves to speculation. Before she knew it Fox called out "stop!" and Hermione turned around. The castle gleamed in the sunlight, and it was starting to get hot. It was noon after all, and she still wore her winter robes because the day had started off cold. She shrugged her winter robe off and watched as Dean did the same.

"You both know each other?" asked Crow. Hermione nodded.

"Yeah, we're in the same year."

"Good, that makes this easier," said Fox. "Dean, we want to train you tree-walking. You're good with chakra, and you can take it up higher. Hermione, you we want to teach tricks to use your chakra, so you can continue with class."

"But before you start, eat this," said Crow and held out two black round balls, about the size of a mandarin. "They boost your chakra levels."

"Though they're really ew," said Fox.

"Gross," corrected Crow off-handedly. "They might taste gross, but it's not poison."

This didn't sound reassuring, but Hermione took one anyway. After deliberating with herself over whether or not learning how to use chakra was worth gross food, she bit into hers. It was indeed ew. She forced herself to chew and swallow, and she still had half of it to eat. When she finally swallowed the last bit her eyes were screwed shut and she wanted some water.

"Here," said Fox. His voice was right in front of her, and when she opened her eyes he stood too close for comfort. He handed her some kind of sweet candy, and she immediately popped it into her mouth. She hoped it wasn't some kind of prank to make her eat some weird foreign food.

"This should be enough to get more chakra. Come on, I'll show you how to use it."

Fox grabbed her by the wrist and tugged her towards the lake. She heard Crow start talking to Dean about distributing chakra throughout the body through so-called 'tenketsu' [1] but after that she lost track because Fox started talking.

"You have chakra, I can feel. Each living thing has chakra. You just have to _find_ it."

They stopped at the edge of the lake and Fox turned towards her. "I'll run my chakra through you, so you know what it's supposed to feel like, alright?"

He waited until she nodded, and then something crawled up her arm from where he held her wrist. It was alive, it was blue, it was _him_. The energy moved through her entire body, making certain crossroads tingle. She told him that, and he nodded.

"These are your tenketsu. Your ... chakra points," he explained when Hermione looked at him uncomprehendingly. He let go of her wrist and the energy faded, making her cold inside.

"That feeling is what you have to look for. Now the food should work, so focus inside and use your chakra, push it at your hands."

She felt silly when she twisted her fingers, but now she knew that the vague theory of chakra Fox and Crow had been talking about was actually true and not some kind of hidden spell. So she closed her eyes and drew a deep breath, slowly letting it out.

It was easier, now, to ignore her surroundings. There were no students around to distract and annoy her, nobody but her and Fox and the soft sloshing of the lake and the rushing of the trees. It was peaceful.

It took her fifteen minutes, but finally, finally she felt a rolled up ball of energy inside her, tucked away deeply. Tentatively she touched it, and once she had accessed it, it was laughably easy to draw it forth and goad it towards her fingers. The energy seemed drawn to it. Maybe there was more to these hand seals than she'd thought in the first place. She'd have to do some research.

But for now she opened her eyes and a smile bloomed on her face as she realized she could hold on to the energy even while not focusing on it that hard anymore. Fox had wandered off, but when he noticed something had happened he hurried back towards her.

"I think I did it!" she said enthusiastically. But as she talked she felt the energy slip away, like trying to hold water in cupped hands, but unable to close the fingers.

"Oh. I had it a second ago," she said, and Fox nodded.

"Yeah, I saw. Good work. Now focus and mold the chakra. Don't push it at your hands, but picture your body and use your chakra to make it real, like I telled in class."

Hermione once again closed her eyes and focused, making the chakra come forward. It rushed to her hands like before, and it took her only four minutes this time. She pictured herself and forced her chakra out into the real world, spreading from her twisted fingers to form an image. Something clicked in her mind and she heard an internal voice call out 'all done!'. She didn't want to see the end result, because shimmers and half-formed images had been prevalent this morning during class.

But Fox made an appreciative noise which made her eyes open in curiosity. A shimmer hung in the air, looking somewhat like Hermione.

"Good job!" said Fox enthusiastically, and gave her a thumbs up. He made her practice a few more times, and she noticed that it got harder and harder each time to access her chakra.

"I think the pill you gave me isn't working anymore," she said after she fruitlessly searched for her chakra for three minutes.

"You should have success finding it yourself," said Fox, but Hermione shook her head.

"It's as if it's gone again. I can't find it."

Fox tapped his chin (or where his chin would be if he wasn't wearing his mask). "That's weird. Like someone blocked it from you. I know one guy who does that, but he's not near here. Hold on, I'll get Crow. He can see what's going on."

Fox disappeared before Hermione could ask him what he meant by 'see what's going on'. It was of a weird phrase to use, but eventually she chalked it up to translation problems. She shivered in the slight breeze. The sun was warm, but she'd been practicing so hard she'd worked up a sweat. And by the time Fox returned with Crow in tow she had cooled down. Dean followed the guards, and he looked like he'd been in a fight. His uniform was covered in muddy smudges and he favored his left foot. When they arrived at Hermione's spot Dean sank onto the ground with a sigh, ignoring what was going on in front of him.

"Right, so, use your chakra," said Fox while making some kind of gesture at Crow. With a last glance at Crow she closed her eyes and made the chakra-focus hand sign. She wondered what it was that Crow saw what Fox couldn't.

She searched and searched, but where before there had been a roaring fire there was now the glow of a firefly in a twisting cave. And she went down all the wrong paths of the cave.

Frustrated at her inability to access her chakra she broke off her search. She looked at Crow for any sign of abnormality and tried to calm herself down. This 'failing' thing began to grate on her.

"You have chakra, I can see it. You have enough chakra that you should be able to access it," he said in a monotone.

"Try searching for it longer. Go really deep," suggested Fox. Hermione sighed and settled herself on the ground. Her clothes were ruined now anyway, with all the sweating she'd done.

"Alright, I'll try," she said, and closed her eyes. She tried to block off her frustration, her fear of failure, she tried not to think of the fact that she'd been able to do this easily before. Couldn't she keep a set of those gross pills nearby in case she needed to use any jutsu?

She knew that wasn't an option, so she focused and probed the cave even deeper, looking for that elusive light. She lost track of time, and maybe she fell asleep as well. It had been a long and tiring day, and the warmth of the sun felt pleasant on her back.

At any rate, when she returned to reality she'd searched long and hard, and the glow of the firefly grew. Or at least, she imagined it did, and hoped that it wasn't hope.

"You should probably take off some clothes, because you _will_ get wet," warned Fox. He and Dean stood right by the edge of the lake, their toes touching the water. Crow had disappeared. Dean glanced back at Hermione, but shrugged and took off his shirt.

Hermione drew a deep breath and stretched her tingling legs out in front of her. She'd been sitting still for so long the cold from the ground had seeped into her bottom and it felt numb as she got up. Since it wasn't ladylike to rub all over it, she tried to ignore it. And the tingling legs. And her aching back.

She really wanted a hot bath.

"What're you doing?" she asked curiously, and got Fox's attention.

"Did you access it?" he asked eagerly, but deflated when Hermione shook her head.

"I think I'm getting closer though," she tried to console him (and herself). "I need a bit more practice."

"Alright, that's why we're here, right?"

He turned back to Dean as Hermione began walking around to convince her body that some parts needed some oxygen-rich blood, thank you very much.

"He's teaching me how to walk on the water," said Dean with much enthusiasm. Hermione tried not to stare too obviously at Dean's torso. That boy was more muscled than she'd imagined, and this year's Duelling class had only shaped him even more.

"Right, so now I focus chakra to my feet, right? Like before?"

Fox nodded and Dean made the focus gesture, frowning as he concentrated. After a few seconds he opened his eyes and gingerly placed one foot on the water. Hermione expected it to sink. And it did. Dean looked questioningly at Fox, but the guard only urged him on.

"Go on, go for deeper water. Walking below water is easier in the start."

Dean walked a few steps into the lake and then froze. "You know there's a giant squid in here, right?" he asked, and backpedaled until he was back on dry land.

"Don't worry, the giant squid knows what a person walking on water looks like and he promised not to attack us."

Hermione raised her voice as she spoke to let them know she was still here. "You _talked_ to the giant squid?"

Fox shook his head. "No, Hagrid did. It talks with its hands. No, long, pointy thingies," elaborated Fox and did some kind of funny dance with his arms to get over the language barrier.

"Tentacles," supplied Dean and Hermione at the same time.

"Right. Anyway: he's no danger to you."

Dean still looked skeptical, so Fox sighed and said: "I'll stand on the water next to you. If anything comes close, I'll know."

He unzipped his green vest, stopped halfway, hesitated for a second and then haltingly asked: "You were ... at that breakfast, right?"

Dean looked puzzled, but Hermione understood what he was getting at. Or at least, she thought she did. "Yes, we've seen your face. You forgot your mask that morning and Crow was ... unhappy about it."

"Hell yes, you should've saw the fight we got into thanks of that. And then _he_ gets hit in the face with that eye-spell and I couldn't be angry at him. Bastard."

Fox shook his head as if to clear that rant from his mind. Without much ado he unzipped his jacket and took off his mask, once again revealing the face of somebody who might have been in their class. Hermione noticed that the whiskers on the mask looked identical to the whiskers on his cheeks. She wondered how exactly he'd gotten those marks, but for the moment she was happy that he felt so much at ease that he actually showed his face around them.

"Man, it's bloody hot!" he cried and quickly removed the rest of his clothing, only keeping his green boxer shorts on. It was as if he didn't even notice that there was a lady nearby. He let the clothes drop on the ground and stretched in the sun. Hermione grinned at the British swear word, spoken in his heavy accent. But then she noticed that for a trained guard, he sure carried little scars. In fact, she saw no scars at all on that tanned body... with more muscles than should be allowed... breathing youth and power in the sunlight...

With some trouble she averted her eyes from Fox and tried to force down the blush which crept onto her cheeks. Here she stood, Saturday afternoon, at the lake with two half-naked, attractive boys and no one in the vicinity. It was a good thing she had self constraint, otherwise she'd be a swooning mess by now.

"Right, water-walking," said Fox, and turned to Dean. He made a focus gesture and walked to the water. He almost slipped on the wet stones on the shore, but managed to retain his balance. When he got to the water he kept on walking on top of it, as if it were a daily occurrence. He made a 'come here' gesture at Dean.

"Come on, try it. The squid isn't near here."

Hesitantly Dean waded out to where Naruto stood and stopped when he got to knee-level. He stood still, focused, and took another step. It was as if Dean walked up a flight of stairs from where Hermione was standing. His foot was still under water, but he now stood in the middle of the water instead of on the ground.

"Good, good," said Fox. "Take another step."

He himself took a step back and stood at the ready to catch Dean in case he fell over. Dean took another step, but he only stood on both legs for a second before something happened and he toppled over. Fox caught him by the arms before he scraped his knees on the various rocks laying around.

"Try again," said Fox.

Hermione watched the scene unfold, but something about Fox bothered her. When he turned to once again catch Dean, she spotted what bothered her.

There was a big, black tattoo on Fox's stomach, with a swirly symbol in the center and writing surrounding it. The funny thing was, when he stood on the beach, it wasn't there. But when he got out on the water, all of a sudden it appeared.

She had never heard of magical tattoos, but if you could make magical moving paintings, why not moving tattoos? Then again, Fox didn't hail from the magical world. He had been surprised to see the moving photos in library books.

Hermione studied the tattoo as well as she could from this distance. The bottom half of the tattoo disappeared underneath his boxer shorts, with his navel as the center of the tattoo. It looked new, not stretched with the growth of muscles. And it was still ink-black, not the washed-out greenish color of Muggle tattoos, as if he'd gotten it yesterday.

From this distance she couldn't make out any of the writing, but it looked like it was written in the language of the guards.

She wished she had her omniocular with her, but for now she'd have to be content with looking at it from this distance. Because why would a guy her age get such an obvious tattoo? You had to be at least seventeen in the wizarding world and eighteen in the Muggle world if you wanted to get one. Maybe things were different in his world, but still... It _had_ appeared out of nowhere, so it must mean something.

She tried to let the matter rest and tried to focus on finding her own chakra. But it was hard to do with two nice guys swimming in the lake a hundred yards from her position. She heard every comment, tip and the splashing sounds Dean made when he once again lost his balance. He improved a little bit, but so far he only managed to take two steps before he lost control and toppled over.

Right, finding own chakra.

Hermione dug deep and hard, clawing aside all the strange cobwebs in her mental cave which impeded her exploration, but the faint glow wouldn't get any stronger. It was like a nightmare where no matter how hard you ran, the goal didn't get any closer. The sounds from the lake distracted her and she could only explore a little at a time before another big splash tore her from her concentration.

It was like she had consumed a lot of caffeine, she felt so jittery. And tired. It had been a long day and though she'd taken a nap, she could use another one. All this soul-searching had made her hungry, and the pill she'd eaten had been used up a while ago.

"Ack, no, stupid fish!"

A cry from Fox brought her back to reality and she opened her eyes to find Fox scurrying away from a school of fish which jumped out of the water. One of them bit into his leg and held on, which made Fox do a funny shake-scurry-jump dance until finally he grabbed the fish by its gills and tore it off.

Dean swam back to shore as fast as he could with a wild-eyed look on his face. Hermione saw the water rippling where another school of fish followed him. She quickly grabbed her wand and took aim at the fish.

"Impedimenta!" she yelled, and the rippling stopped. Which left her to rescue Fox. Though, on second thought, he could take care of himself. Any fish which jumped out of the water to sink its teeth into his limbs got a face full of fist or foot. When there was a tiny gap he crossed his fingers and murmured something, which made a second Fox pop out of nowhere.

Ah, the _kage bunshin_ technique.

With that distraction the school of fish didn't know what to do anymore. They split up and half of them went after the clone while the other half swam after a retreating Fox. But Fox started running and no fish could keep up with him when he ran that fast. Within seconds he stepped back on shore and inspected the bite wounds. A trickle of blood dripped down and mixed with the water, making the wound seem more serious than it was.

"What the hell was that?" asked Dean between taking deep breaths. The fist had bitten him too, but Hermione had reacted in time to prevent any worse.

"Those wereNibblers," said Hermione. "They prey on ducks and other small fish, and they have sharp teeth. But they're not poisonous or anything," she hurried to add. Fox inspected the bites and wiped the blood off, but that only resulted in making the affected area larger.

"Stupid fish," he said, and Hermione tucked away her wand while Dean said: "hell yeah!"

"First giant squids, now biting fish... What's next, crazy birds, with a poop-attack?"

Dean snorted with laughter at that, but Hermione was less amused. "That was dangerous! You could've been seriously hurt!"

Fox shrugged. "Don't worry, if it was dangerous I would've did a lot more. I couldn't feel them because they had tiny chakra ... life. I thinked these were tiny fish. Sorry."

Fox's simple explanation seemed to placate Dean, and Hermione huffed and puffed for a few seconds before she too accepted the explanation and apology. A few small biting fish was something she could have dealt with in her first year. And Fox possessed so many skills, who knew what he could come up with to defend himself and the Gryffindors.

With that crisis averted Dean pointed at Fox's stomach. "Nice tat."

Fox looked down and seemed surprised at the presence of the tattoo on his stomach. He hovered one hand in front of it as if blocking it from their sight, but then lowered it again.

"Thanks, I guess," he said. Something in his tone alerted Hermione. This could get interesting.

"Does it mean anything?" she asked, and for the first time Fox seemed hesitant and unwilling to answer. He stumbled over his words until he settled on an explanation. Hermione wasn't so sure it was the truth, though.

"Ano... it's a ... special tattoo to help me focus. Yeah."

"So that's why it only appears when you use chakra?" asked Dean. Fox stood with his mouth open for several seconds, but in the end appeared to decide to go with it.

"Yeah!"

"Then why does that rune on the side say 'containing' and one on the other side 'sealing'?" asked Hermione. Up close she could make out some runes, and two of them seemed familiar. There were more, but they seemed to be in some kind of dialect, or the runes deviated from runes she knew. She intently memorized the weird runes so she could research them later.

Fox actually blushed, and once again put his hand on his stomach.

"Err... Containing chakra is important!"

"So what does 'seal' mean?"

Hermione felt like an interrogator, but she wouldn't get such a perfect opportunity like this again.

"It, ah, means ... sealing the chakra inside, so later I can let it go."

Dean and Hermione shared a look. Dean didn't look convinced, and Hermione knew she wore the same dubious look. Fox pointed at something behind their backs, but Hermione cut the blatant diversionary tactic short.

"So it seals away chakra? But why would you want to do that?"

"Because ... err... so you can later get it back. And use it then. And-"

"You're a good teacher, but a bad liar," said Dean happily. He certainly said it with a grin on his face, but the grin wasn't born out of humor.

Then came the first time Hermione saw Fox get pissed off. She had _heard_ him pissed off before, but this time she saw the change in his face. It was tremendous, like looking at a glacier in winter and coming back to it in the summer.

"Leave it. You mustn't know _everything_. Some things are none of your business, and this is one. Fuck off."

Hermione briefly wondered where Fox learnt that curse word.

"I just wanted to know," she said. "You don't have to bite my head off, you know. We'll leave it alone."

Naruto nodded sharply and turned back to the lake. He took a deep breath and released it. He still scowled, and Hermione saw he had balled his fists.

"Sorry I called you a liar. I didn't mean it like that," said Dean. The back of Fox's head wasn't telling Hermione anything what the front of his face looked like, but she could guess when she heard him softly say something.

"I did lie," he said.

"Why can't you tell the truth?" She hoped her question didn't send him flying off the handle again. It took a while for him to answer, and when he finally did answer Hermione's question it was in a small voice. She wasn't even sure she heard him right.

"Because you'd hate me."

While she opened her mouth to ask what he meant by that he clapped in his hands and pointed at Dean.

"Right, anyway, back to the lesson. You were doing great with water walking, until those stupid fish attacked. And Hermione, how far are you with using chakra?"

Fox turned to Hermione and it was her turn to blush. She hadn't made any headway since Dean came here to practice water walking, but how to word it to make it seem like she had worked hard? Before she got a chance to construct something in her head Fox interpreted her blush and smiled at her.

"Don't worry, you'll learn. Try again."

After assuring Dean that Fox would keep a vigilant eye out for Nibblers they once again started water walking. Hermione sat back on the ground but once again found it hard to focus. Fox's response kept on floating through her head. What could a magical tattoo contain which would make such a confident guy like Fox say something like that? He'd said it had to do with chakra, but that might also be a lie. She recognized some runes off the bat, but with only two years of Runes under her belt she'd have to do some research to find out the meaning of the other ones. Maybe she could find a volume on dialect or what deviations from the runes meant in the library.

Mentally she adjusted her schedule to allow time for (more) research and then lost herself in thinking about her homework. She completely ignored her mental cave and before she knew it Dean and Fox once again came out of the water. Both of their bodies were wet and the droplets spattered on her exposed limbs as they stood near her. She opened her eyes and swallowed hard. Stupid boys with their stupid muscles with stupid droplets shining the sun made her react way too much. She felt like a teenage boy in a strip club, but she also couldn't tear her eyes away.

"Are you okay? You're red," said Fox and he bent over to look at her spreading blush.

"Fine!" she squeaked and turned away, fanning herself with her hand. Focus on her mental cave, access her chakra, focus, access... It was a miracle that guy hadn't accumulated a fan club yet, he was so ... _hot_, to use a Muggle word.

When she looked at Dean he looked like he would keel over any second. He breathed hard and his shoulders were slumped. Fox, on the other hand, looked ready to take on an army of Acramantula's. And Hermione felt pretty sure he'd win.

"Used it?" he asked, and scowled at her shaking her head.

"No, I couldn't concentrate," she said, mentally adding more gibberish about boys. She wasn't sure she'd ever look at Dean the same way.

"Try again next week. I have a ... thing... with Crow."

"Appointment," corrected Hermione. "You have an _appointment_ with Crow."

Fox nodded. "Yeah, appointment. Ah, there he comes." He waved at a speck in the distance and while Hermione got up and straightened her clothes Crow covered the distance between the castle porch and the lake. Amazing.

Crow didn't even greet them, but immediately started talking to Fox in their native language. Fox laughed a lot during the conversation. Hermione knew that it probably wasn't about her, but still... It was disconcerting. She tried to strike up a conversation with Dean, but the poor guy was too exhausted to do anything but grunt and put on his clothes.

Finally fed up with all the laughing she turned to the guards.

"You know, it's rude to talk in your own language while we're around," she said pointedly and crossed her arms. Hell, Crow hadn't even greeted her! She'd understand if there was some kind of emergency, but it looked and sounded like small talk.

"Ah, I'm sorry," said Fox as he rubbed the back of his neck. "I'll try to talk in English."

Crow snorted, but with his mask still on Hermione couldn't see his expression. If she was any judge of character, he was annoyed. Best to steer clear of him for now.

Fox turned back to Crow. "Oi, where's your ..." Fox jerked a thumb towards his forehead, and Crow thought for a few seconds before he said:

"Forehead protector. I had to clean it. _Some_body spilled ketchup over it."

"Ah, right... So we can't train."

Crow heaved a sigh and turned around. "Fine, I'll go get it."

He ran back as quickly as he came, leaving a muttering Fox behind. "Idiot, leaving the only mattering thing behind..."

Hermione wondered what that was all about. Lucky for her, without Crow in the neighborhood it was a lot easier to pry answers from Fox. He'd been so forthcoming with information this day, and the arrival of Crow had made him happy.

"Why can't you train until he has his forehead protector?" She asked, and Fox shrugged.

"Because of a fight on the hospital roof. He refused to wear his forehead protector. The fight turned evil, and so when we fight, we must wear the forehead protectors. We remember that fight and remember that we don't again make the mistakes."

Hermione was left reeling. It sounded like they had truly tried to kill each other. A chuckle from Fox distracted her.

"It became so evil our _sensei_ came in-between and took us apart else we kept on fighting until we got so hurt we had to go back in the hospital. He throwed us into water towers."

Hermione didn't see the humor in that, but she guessed that Fox wasn't chuckling out of mirth.

"I totally destroyed mine, but Crow's water tower had just a tiny hole. He really didn't like that, he told me later."

Hermione didn't even have to prod the guard for any further information. He seemed caught up in his own memory.

"It meant that I catched up to him, and since he's a genius, he didn't like that the class clown was getting stronger than he."

Class clown? Hermione could see this guy as a class clown, but never as weak.

"Stronger? You wish!" came Crow's voice from behind. He had returned, with the headband tied around his upper arm. Fox cheerfully flipped him off.

"Prove it, duckbutt!"

"Not now, idiot. We have guests, in case you hadn't noticed."

"Trust me, I always notice cute girls."

He said it so matter-of-factly that Hermione couldn't help but blush. But her pride was also somewhat wounded that they stood there, discussing her like she wasn't even there. She coughed and opened her mouth to say something, but Crow beat her to the punch.

"Yes, I know. You're taking after your other _sensei_."

That riled up Fox. He waved his arms about in an attempt to strengthen his words. "Ero-sennin? No way! I'm nothing like him!"

Crow bent closer and took one of Fox's blonde locks in his hand. He made an inquiring noise. "Look, it's already turning white," he said casually, and stood back as Fox yanked out his own hair in an attempt to see. After five seconds of yanking and howling about how he was _so_ not like this erosennin-guy Fox stopped and glowered at Crow.

Hermione took that as her cue to leave. She wanted to see them fight, but she was keen on living as well. She'd seen enough destruction from these two that she wouldn't even wish Malfoy into the blast radius of their fights.

"Right, err, I've got lots of homework, see you next Saturday! Come on, Dean," she called and hurried away from the pair, Dean walking quickly to catch up to her.

"Do you reckon they _really _tried to kill each other?" he asked, and Hermione shrugged.

"I don't know. Crow seems like he's capable of it, but Fox?"

"Maybe he's vicious when cornered," suggested Dean.

"Who knows," said Hermione. "At any rate, we'd better not be here when the fireworks start."

A shockwave from behind ruffled their clothes and a second later a boom resounded across the lake.

"Too late," said Dean, and they started running.

* * *

[1] Chakra points


	15. Illness

**A/N:** Another long one, another 8000 words for your enjoyment. We're entering the home stretch, the final performance, the grand finale, packed with action… Coming up next chapter. But first: enjoy this chapter!

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Naruto tripped over a tree root and fell, barely catching himself on hands and knees. He breathed heavily and he reminded Sasuke of one of those horror movies where some character always falls down if the killer chases after him/her. In this case he chased Naruto, but not with a kunai or sword, but to get his bottle of water back. Naruto had forgotten his and had stolen Sasuke's, telling him it was good to share. Sasuke disagreed, and a chase ensued.

With a "hmph" Sasuke plucked the bottle from Naruto's hands and kicked him once, for good measure. Sasuke felt too tired to do anything else, and Naruto was apparently too tired to get up. They had been training themselves to exhaustion, to make up for the training they lost guarding this school. Naruto still had his clones out and about in the castle and on the grounds, though Sasuke suspected several (or all) of them had popped by now, at the rate at which they trained.

"Oh man," groaned Naruto as he sat up, clutching his stomach. "I don't feel so good."

Sasuke snorted. "Don't be a genin, it was just a kick."

Naruto shook his head. "Yeah, I know, but I've got this annoying pain in my stomach, and I'm all shaky and warm."

Sasuke stilled as the words registered. Stomach pain, shivers and feverish? That sounded like the flu which was plaguing the students (and teachers). And now Naruto had contracted it, and he just _had_ to show the first signs of it when they were far away from the castle. Sasuke sighed and motioned for Naruto to get up.

"You've got the flu, let's go back."

Naruto looked up at Sasuke from his spot on the ground. His face looked flushed and he clutched his stomach tightly, as if he feared something might fall out if he let go.

"Yeah..." He said softly, and pulled a face when he got up. His arms never left his stomach, and he stood hunched.

Sasuke jumped to the nearest tree and watched as Naruto followed him, albeit more slowly. The idiot didn't even watch where he was going, he blindly followed Sasuke's trail.

Sasuke led them on the shortest route back to the castle, but even so, near the edge of the Forbidden Forest Sasuke heard a yell behind him, followed by sounds of breaking branches. When he looked past the thick branch he stood on he saw Naruto lying in the bushes below, smiling sheepishly.

"You're not going to believe this," he started, but stopped as he clutched his stomach once again. When the cramp subsided, the sheepish smile returned.

"I've run out of chakra."

Sasuke found that indeed hard to believe. He had witnessed Naruto run out of chakra before, but he could count those occasions on one hand and have fingers left. True, they _had_ trained hard, but Sasuke still kept hold of some chakra for the journey back. Naruto, apparently, hadn't. Or the flu drained him of his remaining chakra.

"_You_ have ran out of chakra. You," said Sasuke in disbelief. Was his teammate pulling a fast one to get out of traveling all the way back to the castle? But Naruto's face seemed genuine.

"Hey, it has to happen sometimes. Didn't you see me use all those big jutsu back then? I think I've created at least a thousand clones today. And I forgot to take any soldier pills with me."

Sasuke kept quiet. He had forgotten them too. Naruto sat up and disentangled himself from the bushes. "I think I can make it back," he said, but by the time he had freed himself Sasuke crouched next to him, presenting his back.

"Get on, you deadlast."

"Hey!"

"Shut up," snapped Sasuke. He rarely used that insult on his teammate anymore, thus it was more powerful if he did use it. And Naruto still reacted like he did back then, with indignation and annoyance.

"I won't ask this twice," warned Sasuke, but still Naruto held on to his stubborn decision to make it back to the castle on his own power. Naruto got to his feet and jumped to the branch without the aid of chakra.

"You coming or what?" taunted Naruto and pushed off. But without chakra he misjudged the jump, saving himself from a nasty fall by plunging two kunai in a tree and dangling from them. Sasuke sighed and jumped after his teammate, landing neatly on the branch Naruto had tried to get to. He grabbed Naruto's wrist and flung him onto the branch.

"The castle is currently unguarded, we need to hurry back," said Sasuke. Naruto nodded, gathering his feet under him again. Sasuke saw him flinch and Naruto's left hand subconsciously traveled towards his stomach.

"Yeah, I know. So let's go already," said Naruto.

"Naruto," said Sasuke, and when Naruto turned, Sasuke had his Sharingan ready. He used the hypnotizing swirl to force Naruto into a slumber and heaved his teammate onto his back. He hoped it wasn't a magical flu. He had read about those, and they weren't pretty. The wizarding community had built up a resistance, but them being shinobi and from another country, hell, continent, Sasuke didn't have to think hard to come to a conclusion. Immediately he had made sure he and Naruto ate enough fruit and vegetables, and he had searched for any sign of illness in his teammate.

Now that the flu had finally landed, Sasuke wanted to make sure that his teammate didn't grow feathers and get fevers which made steam come out of his ears.

Sasuke secured Naruto on his back by wrapping his arms around the legs wrapped around his waist and he set off, utilizing what little chakra he had left to speed back to the castle.

If he remembered right (and he always did), Naruto would be throwing up by nightfall, and Sasuke mentally resigned himself to clean up at least one accident. Naruto was an annoying patient, always climbing out of bed before he was healthy, not taking notice of the signs of his body. Like a good shinobi he had learnt to ignore exhaustion, hunger and pain, but in case a shinobi got sick, he also ignored these signs. And that meant that generally they recovered much slower, because if you didn't know you had to go to sleep despite your body telling you, the body didn't recover.

The castle came into view. He tried to run without jostling Naruto, but that was hard to do. Sasuke glanced to the left. His teammate's flush had grown. Sasuke felt Naruto's fever burning through the clothes.

This convinced him to forgo the stairs altogether, and he jumped to an open window on the second floor. Belatedly he realized that neither of them wore their mask, but by now it was too late. Naruto was drained of all chakra and Sasuke rapidly followed in his footsteps.

Sasuke landed in the windowsill of a corridor, with thankfully no one in sight. The lessons were currently underway and the ones who had free time were either cooped up in their dorm rooms or in the library doing homework.

Or they wandered in the hallways.

"Is he alright?" asked a worried voice behind Sasuke.

"He's fine," said Sasuke. "He's got the flu." He started to walk towards the stairway to the third floor, but the student ran to catch up with him. Sasuke saw that it was a boy, one he recognized as one of the Duelling students. He remembered the boy was a second-year Ravenclaw called Brad.

"Do you need any help?" asked Brad, but Sasuke shook his head. "Need me to get Madam Pomfrey?"

Sasuke shook his head again, trying to get the boy to take a hint. But Brad was persistent, or genuinely worried.

"Are you sure? I've got some time off and you look exhausted..."

Sasuke cursed himself for not putting on his own mask. He knew he must look like he just got home from an A-rank mission, and he _felt _exhausted, but he wasn't going to accept the help from a twelve-year old boy who couldn't even get an Expelliarmus-charm right.

"Yes, I'm sure. Fox is just sick, I'll take care of it. And him."

Brad fell behind and stood at the foot of the stairs they had reached.

"Will the Duelling club still go on tomorrow?" asked Brad, and finally Sasuke saw an use for the boy's offer.

"No, I don't think so. Tell the others."

Brad nodded enthusiastically and ran off, leaving Sasuke with the daunting task of ascending the narrow staircase without bumping Naruto's head on anything. Well, not bump _too_ hard, some bumping couldn't be avoided.

Eight minutes later Sasuke finally reached their sanctuary and he dumped Naruto on his bed amidst the scrolls. With an impatient shove he cleared the bed of all junk and didn't regret it one bit when several bowls shattered on the floor. He shouldn't have scared the house-elves so much that only two of them still had the guts to clean this room.

Naruto would have some unexplained bruises in a few hours, but tomorrow morning they'd be gone without a trace. Sasuke hoped that the same held true for the flu, but Kyuubi's healing factor could be fickle, especially concerning germs.

First things first.

Sasuke walked over to his own chest and plucked one of Sakura's lovingly prepared soldier pills from the chest. He tried not to make a face as he chewed on it and swallowed, and Sasuke surmised it was a good thing that Naruto was fast asleep right now. He'd be laughing his ass off at Sasuke's face. That girl needed to learn how to create non-vile soldier pills. Sure, they contained a lot of good herbs and vitamins and chakra-enhancing plants, but the taste was horrid.

Next priority: assessing Naruto's state. He tried to think of a spell to do that, but in the end he walked over to his teammate and placed his cool hand on Naruto's forehead. As he suspected, the blonde was burning up. With his Sharingan-induced sleep it might be a while before Naruto woke up, but sleep was good for Naruto.

With a sigh Sasuke undid his heavy wizard robe and began stripping his teammate down to his shirt and boxers. He threw the bed sheets over Naruto and went in search of a bucket. In a broom closet next to the Trophy Room he found a somewhat rusted bucket, but it'd do.

When he came back Naruto had pulled the covers up to his chin in his sleep, but he frowned and mumbled incoherently.

Sasuke debated with himself whether he should get Madam Pomfrey. So far it looked like a regular flu, but he had no idea how fast a magical flu asserted itself. It might do permanent damage if not treated properly. Especially to a shinobi, who possessed different ways of dealing with magic than a witch or wizard, and had zero resistance to the flues of the wizarding world.

At any rate, he needed to inform Dumbledore that Naruto was unable to guard the castle tomorrow, and that Sasuke would take over for him for the moment.

Which made the whole point of whether or not contacting Madam Pomfrey moot. Naruto needed someone to take care of him, because this flu could turn dangerous if not properly monitored. He conveniently forgot that Naruto had looked after himself his whole life.

This evening, however, Sasuke could take care of his teammate. He just needed to observe Naruto to make sure that he didn't grow feathers. And the best way to do that was from his own bed. Yeah. That was a good idea.

Sasuke sat down heavily, removed his sandals and propped himself up with the cushions. This way he could keep an eye on his teammate without... without...

Sleep claimed him so fast it was like he had hypnotized himself with his Sharingan.

* * *

One second Naruto jumped through trees in the Forbidden Forest, the next he threw up in a bucket. The life of a shinobi is diverse and surprising, but Naruto could have done without this surprise. He _hated_ being sick, no matter what strain of illness he contracted, he always felt so helpless when his body did things without his permission.

And damn that Sasuke for making him fall asleep with his Sharingan. Kakashi-sensei did that sometimes, and when he woke up he felt extremely groggy and it took his mind a while to shake off the last remnants of the hypnosis.

This time he was still groggy, but his nausea far outdid the grogginess. Frantically he looked around for something to throw up in and found a rusted old bucket right next to his bed. Without wondering how it got there he grabbed it and relived his last meal. When he was finished, he put the bucket back on the ground and fell back on the bed.

He managed to sweat from places that usually didn't have sweat glands and didn't feel that much better, only more nauseous and gross. And now the room smelt too.

"Here," said a familiar voice to his right. A glass of water filled his line of vision, and the glass was attached to his teammate's hand.

"Thanks," said Naruto hoarsely, sat up and drank the lukewarm water.

He wanted to scold Sasuke for making him sleep with his Sharingan, but at the moment he didn't care. All he wanted was to go back to sleep, and thanks to the grogginess that might actually be easy.

"Jerk," he managed to say before closing his eyes. Sasuke didn't respond, but left with the bucket in hand. Naruto tried to move as little as possible, but the nausea stayed. He was hot and cold and then hot again, and sometimes even at the same time. He wanted to toss and turn so badly, but he couldn't, for fear of throwing up.

With a sigh Naruto opened his eyes and looked around for his teammate. Sasuke now lay fast asleep on his own bed, black hair poking out under the covers. Apparently he had kicked off his shoes and went to sleep, because his pajamas lay crumpled up near the foot of the bed.

Naruto still felt as drained as when he had crashlanded in the forest. The flu ate away what little chakra he regained, and this time the Kyuubi wasn't helping out.

"This sucks," he said to the world in general and carefully turned over to his right side. But his stomach wasn't fooled and demanded it be emptied, right now.

The sounds awoke Sasuke, and once again he kneeled at Naruto's bedside, holding out a washcloth and a glass of water. Naruto gratefully took both and cleaned himself up. He wanted to get up and clean the bucket himself, but Sasuke pushed him back on the bed when Naruto tried to rise.

"Shut up and go back to sleep," he ordered. His hair was a mess (well, more so than usual) and Naruto saw the exhaustion written all over his teammate's face. This flu came at an inconvenient time for the both of them.

"You're gonna have to deal with the Duelling class by yourself," said Naruto weakly, but Sasuke shook his head.

"Cancelled it."

"Aww, widdle Sasuke afwaid of the students?"

Sasuke rolled his eyes at Naruto's question and picked up the bucket. "It's wise not to aggravate the one taking care of you," he said as he moved towards the bathroom. Naruto once again closed his eyes and tried to ignore the waves of heat and cold making him shiver. He felt marginally better now that he had thrown up twice, but the nausea simply wouldn't subside.

"Yeah, yeah, I can take care of myself."

Still, it was nice for someone to hand him a glass of water, it got rid of the nasty aftertaste faster. And not having to get up to clean the bucket was a big plus too.

"I'll transfer you to the Hospital Ward tomorrow morning," announced Sasuke over splashing sounds. Naruto's eyes immediately flew open and he sat up too fast, making his stomach clench in pain. He coughed, but managed to keep the next bout in.

"I'm _not_ going to lie there puking my guts out amidst students!"

"Yes, you are," said Sasuke in a final tone. His eyes looked sharper now, and water still dribbled down his face. Apparently he gave himself a splash, alongside the bucket.

"I don't know if it's a magical flu, and if it is, you have zero resistance. It can turn dangerous real fast."

Usually Naruto was thrilled to hear Sasuke announce that he worried for his teammate, but Madam Pomfrey scared him. The medi-witch was an unknown factor, and though she hadn't intentionally hurt him or Sasuke, that witch did things with a wand which shouldn't be possible. She used weird potions which made strange things happen to a body, like making steam come out of your ears. He was not going to lie there amidst other sick people and let her take care of him. He was an adult, he could handle illness.

"The Hospital Ward is one floor away. What's the worst that can happen?" asked Naruto. With a glint in his eyes Sasuke told of all kinds of magical flu's, ranging from weird to gross to horrifying, making Naruto throw up once more at the mention of certain parts of the story.

"Alright, damnit, you win. I'll go to the Ward. But I still haven't forgiven you for putting me to sleep!"

Naruto defiantly turned away from his teammate and pulled the covers up to his chin to combat a sudden chill emanating from within. The covers were of little use, and they started to smell. Sasuke's weight disappeared from the foot of the bed and he walked over to his own bed, flopping down and snoring within minutes. Well, Sasuke breathed heavily, but Naruto wanted to classify it as 'snoring' so he could tell his best rival to stop snoring so loud when he was sick.

But sleep wouldn't come. Naruto drifted in and out of slumber, experiencing waves of nausea and he swore he saw Kakashi-sensei's face in the wall. Or wait, was that Konohamaru? His dreams always ended in him falling down after he was chased by the bad guy of the day, and he accidentally rolled off the bed once, banging his head on the bucket. In that dream he had tried to get away from a giant duck chasing him down a ridiculously large Ichiraku stand, which had grown into an infinite room.

Naruto noticed that dawn was on its way in, because every time he opened his eyes the dark walls became a little less grey. He was glad for that, because he felt like he had become stuck in an eternal loop with the darkness outside. But now the sun actually progressed, so he had survived several hours of this cursed flu.

Sasuke started to stir. Naruto had woken him several times with the lovely sounds of throwing up, and the one time he fell out of bed. It showed in Sasuke's face, because the exhausted lines hadn't diminished. He looked paler than usual (if that was possible) and bags nestled cosily under his eyes.

Naruto imagined he wasn't looking like a model himself either, and he desperately wanted to shower. Or at least put on some different clothes. But every time he made to get up his stomach protested and he had to lie down again to alleviate the cramps.

"Feeling better?" came a tired inquiry from Sasuke's part of the room, and Naruto sighed. The ceiling of his four-poster bed was a mix of interesting colors, several of which shouldn't exist.

"No. A bit," said Naruto. "At least I'm throwing up every thirty minutes instead of every ten."

He briefly wondered how exactly he still managed to throw up when he had emptied his stomach hours ago. He tried to calm his stomach by eating one of Sasuke's old dry toast and washing it down with a glass of water, but that hadn't stayed down long.

"Alright. I'll shower and then bring you to the Hospital Ward," said Sasuke.

Naruto made a non-committal noise as Sasuke got up and padded to the bathroom. He felt too tired to do anything at the moment. He wanted an uninterrupted sleep without the chases and the shivers from fever. Oh, and not to mention the hallucinations when he _did_ open his eyes. They weren't that severe, but the constant whispers in his ear were annoying.

Perhaps a Sharingan-induced sleep wasn't all that bad, he mused.

With trepidation he sat up, and the stomach pain returned. But this time it was bearable, so he placed his hotcold feet on the floor and sank down next to the chest at the foot of his bed. He hated the way his limbs shook as he lifted the lid and grabbed two clean sets of clothes, a scroll, some kunai and a small backpack. He quickly changed into the clean clothes while moving as little as possible and stuffed the other clothes, the scroll and kunai in the backpack. On an afterthought he also added his wand and one of Sasuke's books, a first-year spell book if he read it right.

With that task completed he flopped down on his bed and burped real loud, but nothing else followed up the burp. He must've drifted off, because the next thing he remembered was Sasuke shaking him awake.

"Let's move," said Sasuke. His black hair still dripped and some drops landed on Naruto's fresh clothes.

"Right."

The hallways seemed unusually long to Naruto, and the stairs were higher than he remembered. He felt so drained it was a miracle he didn't fall over. He refused to be carried by Sasuke once more, so their going was slow. Luckily no students were up yet, since it was barely past dawn. Naruto had no idea what time it was at the moment, though if Tsunade forced him to gamble anything on it, he'd bet it was six in the morning.

The walk distracted him from his nausea, though his stomach complained all the more. Finally the old oak doors came into view and Sasuke pushed them open, making madam Pomfrey rush over to them. Naruto wondered if that women ever slept.

"Ah, another one for the flu treatment I suppose?" she asked in her maternal voice, and to Naruto's amusement she guided Sasuke to one of the beds. Sasuke quickly shook her off and pointed at Naruto, who walked to one of the beds on his own.

"I'm not sick, he is."

The medi-witch turned her calculating gaze onto Sasuke. "Are you sure? You're as pale as the sheets in this room and I bet you could really use a pepper-up potion."

But Sasuke shook his head and once again directed her attention to the real patient. "He kept me up all night, so take care of him while I guard the castle."

Madam Pomfrey left him alone and walked towards Naruto. Sasuke threw Naruto a look and said: "I'll be back later."

He rushed out of the doors and left Naruto alone with a doting medi-witch. He didn't know if he should be glad that she was going to pamper him, or if he should be angry at Sasuke for making him lose face with the students, who'd undoubtedly see him as weaker.

"Man, I hope _he_ gets the flu too," muttered Naruto before madam Pomfrey swept him up in her care. She made him strip once again till he wore his shirt and boxers. He felt glad he had taken the trouble to put on some fresh clothes.

"How'd you get this?" asked madam Pomfrey suspiciously as she indicated a long gash on Naruto's arm. Naruto couldn't even remember how he got it. Must have been sometime yesterday during either training or his lovely demonstration of gravity when he ran out of chakra.

"Err... Training?" he supplied, but this only made madam Pomfrey cluck and with a wave of her wand the gash disappeared. With Kyuubi's chakra geared towards taking care of the flu instead of healing him on the outside his body was as bruised as Sasuke's normally looked after a training. But this was a first for madam Pomfrey, and with much clucking and disapproving noises she healed Naruto's bumps and bruises.

By the time she was done Naruto felt the nausea return. The walk had suppressed it, but with him once again sitting down it returned with a vengeance, and it brought dehydration-headache along.

But one of the other occupants of the Hospital Ward grabbed madam Pomfrey's attention as he called for her. Besides Naruto five students laid in beds, all wearing pajamas. Four of them had buckets by their bedside and one of them was covered in horrible-looking tiny tentacles all over her body. The sight of the tentacles squirming in the air turned his stomach and Naruto was glad he had brought the bucket along as he once again threw up in it.

What little energy he had built up during the night was spent, and he flopped down onto the cool sheets. Some beds down he heard someone else throw up, probably spurred on by him. Madam Pomfrey looked like she had her hands full with students, as she moved from bed to bed to hand out potions, clean buckets and speak reassuringly. Naruto bet she'd do anything to get her hands on the Kage Bunshin jutsu. Too bad these wizards had too little internal chakra to risk using that technique.

Naruto snuggled under the covers, since he could do little else at the moment. He was almost asleep when Madam Pomfrey appeared at his side.

"Right, back at where I started. Sorry about that, but these students have become quite ill and need regular doses of potion."

She noticed the bucket and with a wave of her wand the contents disappeared. Naruto decided that _that_ would be a useful spell to learn, but at the moment he'd settle for a flu-be-gone-spell. He sat up to feel more in control of the situation and suppressed a wince as his stomach protested. But the medi-witch saw all.

"So, nausea, stomach pain, and a fever?"

Without warning she placed her cool hand on Naruto's forehead and she cracked a small smile.

"Oh, yes. Definitely a fever. When did you develop these symptoms?"

When Naruto threw her a questioning look she rephrased her question and removed her hand from his forehead.

"When did you get sick?"

"Yesterday evening," answered Naruto. "It was ... eight o'clock. I think. Crow put me to sleep in the forest."

Madam Pomfrey raised her eyebrow at the admission of being in the Forbidden Forest, but she let it slide. By now she should know that the guards were more than capable of dealing with anything that lived in that forest.

"I've been sick since then. Throwing up every thirty minutes."

The medi-witch nodded and ticked off another symptom on her fingers.

"Bet you've got a headache by now as well."

Naruto didn't even have to nod. Madam Pomfrey whirled around and set off towards her office.

"Don't you worry, I'll keep an eye on you. Since you're, what do you call it again? Sheenobi, right? Anyway, since you're sheenobi you've got no resistance for this type of flu. I'll keep you here for observation."

Naruto didn't even get to acknowledge anything. The witch handed him a potion, which he checked for poison before he drank it all in one gulp. He followed the foul-tasting potion up with a glass of water and the potion took immediate effect. He eyelids drooped and he became drowsy, exactly like madam Pomfrey had described. It was nice to be taken care of, he mused. Much better than Sasuke putting him to sleep with the Sharingan.

He laid down and madam Pomfrey covered him with the blankets, creating a warm nest of healing. Yes, definitely nice.

With great difficulty Naruto opened his eyes. He didn't want to get up, but a pressing need forced him awake. His nausea had abated some, and his headache had gone the way of Gaara's eyebrows. When he rolled over his stomach still complained, but it was bearable. He felt like the potion healed him already, and he felt his chakra reserves slowly rebuilding.

But first things first.

When his warm feet touched the cold floor he gasped, but pushed through.

"Hey, where're you going? Get back in bed!" called madam Pomfrey from one of the beds. Naruto glanced in her direction and saw that she tended to one of the students, bucket in hand.

"Bathroom," he mumbled, and cracked a tiny smile when she looked flustered, as if she was embarrassed at such an obvious answer.

"Right. Be careful," she said to save face.

After he went to the bathroom Naruto laid back on the bed and pulled the blankets up to his waist. He felt warm, but at least he hadn't thrown up yet. The other students seemed worse off than he was, even if they slept peacefully right now.

A small brown-haired girl laid in a bed two sizes too big for her. She looked like death had knocked on the door and she answered it. Three cups of potion stood on her nightstand and she frowned even in her sleep.

While Naruto studied the students madam Pomfrey approached his bed.

"Feeling better?" she asked, and Naruto worked himself up on his elbows.

"Yeah, a little. Still hot and pain in my stomach, but I'm not anymore throwing up."

Madam Pomfrey nodded with a content look on her face. "Excellent. Looks like you'll pull through without any further help."

Naruto couldn't help but point at the brown-haired girl. "Does she have the flu too?"

Madam Pomfrey nodded, but replaced the content look with a sad one. "Yes, but she's got the full package. I might have to transfer her if things don't look up soon."

"Transfer?" asked Naruto.

"Move her to St. Mungo's, the hospital," explained Madam Pomfrey. "But enough about her. Your friend came by two hours ago, but since you were still asleep, I sent him away. He said he'd be back in three hours."

Naruto sat up completely at that news. "How long have I sleeped?" he asked with a note of panic in his voice. Madam Pomfrey, the good medi-witch that she was, picked up on it and said in a soothing tone:

"About six hours, dear. In fact, I'm surprised you woke up so soon. The potion should've made you sleep for at least eight hours."

Naruto shifted a little under her questioning gaze. He had a pretty good guess as to why he didn't react to potions like a normal person, but he didn't want anyone else in this castle finding out about _that_.

"I, ah, don't know. Maybe because I'm shinobi?"

That seemed to placate Madam Pomfrey, and she turned to the nightstand. Naruto noticed that she'd placed a fresh glass of water there, and some crackers. It hadn't been there when he went to the bathroom.

"If you want to eat something, crackers are a good way to start," she said. Naruto laid a hand on his stomach and frowned at the small stabs of pain still tormenting him.

"I think I'd better sleep some more," he said. "Please wake me when Crow comes."

Madam Pomfrey didn't look too happy at that request, but she nodded all the same. "I will. Do you need another potion?"

Naruto shook his head decidedly. He had been knocked out enough for one day. When he laid down Madam Pomfrey left his bedside, and soon thereafter Naruto once again fell asleep.

* * *

"Oi, deadlast," said the giant spoon, and poked Naruto in the shoulder. "Wake up."

"Get lost, spoon," muttered Naruto into his pillow. Barbed wire had somehow coiled itself around his waist and he tried to pull it off, but it wouldn't budge. The spoon poked again, and this time his mind registered the difference between reality and dream. And he knew only one person who called him a deadlast in this castle.

When Naruto opened his eyes he saw white and a tiny portion of the ceiling.

"Stupid fluffy pillows," he said to himself and raised his head to actually get a look at his surroundings. Sure enough, Sasuke leaned over him and poked him in the shoulder, mask in hand. Screens stood around the bed to offer them some privacy. The Hospital Ward buzzed with talking. Must be visitor hours. Good thing madam Pomfrey was a professional, otherwise Naruto felt pretty sure he'd have woken up to lots of curious faces, watching as he slept. And that was downright creepy.

Naruto sat up and suppressed a shiver as he was exposed to the cold air in the Ward.

"Sit rep?" asked Sasuke, and Naruto snorted at his business-like tone.

"Still puking, _commander_," joked Naruto, but to be honest, he felt better. Not well enough to go running around, but he didn't feel like throwing up all the time. The pain in his stomach stayed constant, however. Sasuke clenched his fist as if he wanted to hit Naruto, but he didn't follow through.

And that's when Naruto noticed that Sasuke looked utterly exhausted. Bags hung under his eyes like the boobs of a mother of ten and his face resembled the color of Naruto's fluffy pillow.

"What time is it?" asked Naruto.

"3 PM," answered Sasuke. Naruto knew him long enough to pick up the tiny lilt of the tongue and the too long break between the question and the answer.

"Go to bed, idiot," said Naruto. "It's not a magical flu, and you've kept up clones all day."

But as usual, Sasuke stubbornly shook his head. "Still got some patrolrounds to do and... and..."

Sasuke's jaw muscles clenched as Naruto saw him fight a yawn, but in the end even Sasuke's muscles had to succumb.

"I'm fit enough to send out some clones. Go. To. Bed. Or do you want to get sick too?"

It wasn't entirely true, Naruto knew he'd only manage two or three clones, but it'd be enough for one night to guard the crucial weak points of the castle and make sure there no students wandered the hallways.

Naruto's argument about getting sick hit home with Sasuke, but still the proud idiot refused.

"No, I'll be fine. I would've gotten sick already if I was going to contract it," argued Sasuke, and Naruto let himself fall back on the bed in despair.

"You're impossible. I said: go to bed. I'll force you into this one right here if I have to."

Naruto didn't know if he was amused or annoyed at the disgusted face Sasuke pulled. Several cracks about Naruto-cooties filled his mind, but he bit his tongue to keep them in. Their academy days were long past.

"Since you're still sick, you'd better get some more rest," said Sasuke as he got up. Naruto sat up real quick and darted forward, but Sasuke moved out of reach.

"I'll send a bunshin after you," warned Naruto, but Sasuke scoffed at that.

"And what's it gonna do? Puke on me?"

"Yeah, and then you'll get sick too and you'll have to lie here amidst the students, with a pompous lady watching your every move. Hell, I can't even go to the bathroom without her wanting to put me back in bed. If she had her way, I'd have a catheter and be forced to take all kinds of strange potions."

Naruto pushed every button that Sasuke had ever developed about hospitals and being sick. Sasuke had been hurt badly enough to know what a catheter was and what it felt like, and the idea that he'd refuse such a thing had lodged itself so deeply into his mind it would have to be pried out with a crowbar. And his button-pushing seemed to work, because Naruto saw Sasuke's eye twitch.

"And not only that, but these curious students keep on staring at me like I'm a clown in the circus hell-bent on setting fire to the place because the circus director couldn't afford to pay the pension of the clown."

That finally got a response, though not the one Naruto hoped for.

"You have way too much imagination," said Sasuke, and started to walk away.

"Bunshin, puking, catheter!" tried Naruto one last time, but with a "I'll be back in two hours" Sasuke disappeared behind the screens.

"Damnit," muttered Naruto. Now that he was up anyway, might as well still his growing hunger. Hunger was a good sign, but eating dry crackers was his idea of a nightmare. He'd prefer to have something familiar, something filling... like ramen.

"Croo-oow!" he called, and to his surprise his masked teammate's head appeared. Looks like he had called out just in time.

"What now?" asked Sasuke, and Naruto threw his biggest 'please?'-grin at him.

"Could you get me some ramen from the kitchen? Like pork or beef?"

"No."

"But-"

"Eat your crackers, try not to throw up, and then I'll think about getting you ramen."

Naruto narrowed his eyes at Sasuke, and mentally tried to make him burst into flames. Sadly the mental _katon_ didn't work. Maybe he could get a clone to fetch some ramen from the kitchen.

"Fine. You'll see I won't have puked when you return," said Naruto in a challenging tone.

"I can hardly wait," replied Sasuke in the driest tone he could muster and once again disappeared behind the screens.

"Oh, and Crow?"

Sasuke's head popped back. "_What_?"

"Go to bed."

The thrown shuriken lodged itself into the wall and Naruto watched as a few of his blonde hairs drifted down to the floor.

"See? Cranky already," said Naruto, and laughed as Sasuke's head disappeared for the third time. Annoying his teammate should be a national sport, it was so much fun, decided Naruto. Though there'd be a lot of casualties and burn victims. And Sakura would kill him if Sasuke's veins finally popped and he bled to death. But still, lots of fun and laughter and mauling.

And now: back to boredom and eating crackers.

Several hours later Naruto had eaten his crackers, badgered Sasuke into getting some ramen for him and eaten that too. The nausea was gone and all that remained of the flu was a mild fever and decreased stomach pains.

And boredom.

Madam Pomfrey refused to let him out of bed, and Naruto in turn refused to take some more sleeping potion to get through the evening and night. He could sneak out and go back to his own room, but then he'd have to brave the stomach pains, which were sure to flare back up. The flu had drained him of a lot of his energy, and even after he went to the bathroom his legs shook.

Which left Naruto unable to do anything he liked to do.

He had tried flipping a kunai and catching it in mid-air, but Madam Pomfrey quickly put a stop to that (after flipping out herself). She'd ranted at him about taking knives with him and using them as boredom-reliever, to which Naruto shrugged.

Which left Naruto with one thing to do: reading. He sat up in bed, Sasuke's scroll laid out over his lap. He focused on the contents of the scroll, and his hand involuntarily shaped themselves in the seals he read about. Madam Pomfrey had needed the screens for someone else, so everything Naruto did was visible to the other students. He hadn't realized that until the brown-haired girl asked in a wondering tone: "What are you doing?"

"I'm practising hand seals," replied Naruto truthfully. The student wasn't one of his duelling students, so the answer couldn't have made much sense to the girl. But she still nodded sagely as if she understood what that meant.

"It's one of Crow's scrolls," he explained. "I don't think he knows that I took it yet, but I'll bet he will storm in any minute now, flaming pissed that I took it."

Naruto briefly fantasized about Sasuke's expression when he came back from his busy day and was about to collapse on his bed, only to notice a scroll missing. Naruto felt bad about it, but consoled himself by convincing that he didn't know that Sasuke would push himself so hard this day. True to his prediction, forty minutes later Sasuke threw open the wooden doors, making madam Pomfrey scowl.

"NA-" He cut himself off before he uttered the rest of the word, but Naruto conceded that several of the students now knew the first syllable of his name. Sasuke stalked closer to Naruto's bed and stopped a foot from it, out of sight of the students.

"FOX!" Sasuke yelled instead, but when he tore off his mask his face was impassive, apart from a case of Deep Frowning and annoyed tone.

"My scrolls are not a library," he stated deceivingly calm, but Naruto knew him long enough to notice the clenched jaw and the balled fists. Sasuke was, as he had predicted, flaming pissed. To annoy him further Naruto plastered the biggest smile on his face he could muster.

"Yeah, I know. I figured I'd use my downtime to brush up on new jutsu!" he said in a chipper tone. Sasuke's fist clenched even harder.

"Not by stealing _my family's katon scrolls_!" Sasuke nearly yelled the last bit, but a look from madam Pomfrey was enough to try to keep the level down.

"It's not like you took any other scrolls along with you I could read, apart from summoning scrolls," countered Naruto.

"That does _not_ make it okay to steal my scrolls and try to learn katon jutsu. Read your own scrolls!"

Naruto threw Sasuke a pouting look. Time to play his trump card. "They're all academy-level scrolls. I can't exactly buy fancy scrolls when I have to scrape by on a chuunin salary! And I got cut off from the orphan fund a little early..."

Naruto saw the gears fall into place and start turning. Naruto, wearing shabby, too-big clothes. Naruto, always eating cup ramen. Living in a small apartment. Academy-level scrolls. Off-brand kunai.

Naruto was poor, but apparently Sasuke hadn't thought about how that affected his shinobi life. So Naruto could pull this card at least once more to bum something off Sasuke, who had a whole district to himself, and all the money that came with it.

Sasuke sighed. "Fine," he said, but his eyes started to shine in a way Naruto didn't appreciate. "But you have to teach me the Rasengan."

"What? NO!"

Defiantly, Sasuke crossed his arms and looked down his nose at Naruto. "Either you teach me the Rasengan, or no more scrolls for you."

Naruto fumed. That bastard had the gall to ask for his trademark move? How dare he! All Naruto wanted to know were some basic katon jutsu, nothing fancy. But now that Sasuke had upped the ante, it was time raise the stakes. Besides, it was not like Sasuke would learn it overnight. It had taken the Fourth Hokage years, after all, and even Naruto had to learn it through cheating. Well, not exactly cheating, but thinking creatively. It was unlikely that Sasuke would be able to do it anytime soon. Longer, even, since he wasn't a wind-type.

Frankly, Naruto was surprised Sasuke hadn't already copied it with his infernal Sharingan already.

"Alright," said Naruto. "But only if I can borrow any scroll I want from you. Here _and_ at home."

Naruto knew he had chosen the right bargaining chip. Sasuke winced as he imagined Naruto's home, where the scrolls would reside. And the fact that Naruto wasn't big on giving things back in a timely matter. He tried, but because of all the excitement in his life he forgot an item or two here and there.

Fine, so he still had a scroll he had borrowed from Sakura when they were twelve. It wasn't like she missed it.

"Deal. But only if you return the scrolls, and not years after you borrowed them."

Naruto mentally turned over the deal in his head once again. It was a fine deal, especially since Kakashi-sensei was also close to learning the Rasengan. If Naruto didn't teach Sasuke, Kakashi-sensei would some time sooner or later.

They shook hands to seal the deal and Sasuke left soon thereafter, claiming he still had a patrolround to do.

"Get some sleep, bastard!" yelled Naruto after him, and got flipped off in return.

Madam Pomfrey approached Naruto. "I'll have you know that if you disturb this Ward like that one more time, I'll throw both you and Crow out, whether you're the guards or not," she threatened. "And what was that all about?"

Naruto rubbed his neck as he grinned sheepishly at her. "Ah, sorry Madam Pomfrey. We will not do it again. We talked, no, fighted about that I took this scroll without telling him."

"I see," she said, and turned around again, walking back to her office.

"Light out at ten," she announced. Naruto focused back on the scroll and spent the remainder of the time practising hand seals and memorising the pattern. If he was lucky, he could get in a good shot at Sasuke at the next spar. See how he likes to get toasted for once.

The following morning Naruto's flu had disappeared, and with a last potion from Madam Pomfrey Naruto was once again sent off, ready to guard the castle and annoy his teammate once more.

* * *

"See ya next time, Elise. Don't forget about tomorrow's appointment, Dave!"

Ron watched Fox say all of the participants in Duelling class goodbye for the day. Sure, they'd see him around, but he'd be _the guard_ then, and no longer _just Fox_.

But Ron suspected something. By now it was June already, but neither of the two guards had ever said 'goodbye' to him and called him by name. And it wasn't just during these goodbyes. Ron tried to remember if they had ever called him by name. He didn't think so.

To test this theory, Ron told Harry and Hermione to go on, saying he had something to ask the guards. He lingered behind, making sure the guards were still in the vicinity. When the last of the Duelling students had left, they turned to each other and talked in that weird language of theirs.

Ron seized this opportunity to deliberately step towards them from behind some trees and called out: "see ya, Fox, Crow!"

Fox turned around sharply and waved at him, while Crow put his hands in his pockets, slouching a bit.

"What, I don't get a verbal greeting?" Ron asked jokingly, but he watched their body language like an eagle wearing night vision goggles. They sneaked a glance at each other, and then they both gave a tiny shrug. They stilled, and Fox slowly turned around.

"See ya right back at ya," said Fox happily, but Ron's face fell.

"You don't know my name, do you?" he asked bluntly. Crow pushed his hands deeper into his pockets.

"Of course I do! You, crazy, you! It's R-roy!" ventured Fox, and that was when Ron had had enough. He had been pushed into the shadows long enough, and now even the guards, who knew pretty much everybody's name, had forgotten his.

"It's RON! R-O-N! You know everybody's name, even those centaurs in the forest! But three bloody letters, is that so hard to remember? Am I that forgettable?"

Fox vigorously shook his head, while Crow was going for the world record of 'most force being applied to pockets'.

"No, no, you're not. We suck at your name for some reason. I know it starts with an 'r'," Fox tried to pronounce the letter and failed horribly, "but I can't seem to remember it!"

Ron felt his face burn with anger. He worked hard to not be forgettable, to be a good wizard, to battle against his older brothers and not become another Weasley.

But, once again he'd failed. He'd been a participant in these Duelling classes for a whole year now, but still the guards couldn't remember his name.

He was so angry he wanted to hex them into oblivion, making them spout slugs and have ears like broccoli, their stupid faces breaking out worse than a troll's bottom. He knew the curses would never land, but still he pulled his wand on them.

Apparently, that was a mistake. Threatening the guards was all fine and dandy, but they were the ones with years and years of combat experience, and Ron was a rookie when it came to throwing punches. They had him on the floor in one second flat, Crow already holding Ron's wand. Fox leaned closer to Ron's ear and the pressure of the knee on Ron's back lessened. The grip on his arm didn't.

"I'm sorry, Ron," said Fox. He did sound sorry, his voice had lost much of its happy quality. Ron wanted to look at them and see a face instead of a mask.

"I know what it's like to be the one everybody forgets. We should've learnt and remembered your name, and I'm sorry for that. You're a good student, you're loyal, and you know how to punch."

Fox let him go. Ron stayed on the ground for a breath or two before he slowly got to his feet. He towered over the guards by a good few inches, but without his wand he was powerless. He tried to look Fox in the eye, but the slits of the mask were too small.

"I-" began Ron, but had no words lined up in his brain ready to be spoken. Fox spoke instead.

"I swear I'll remember your name from now on. I've had real trouble with all those foreign names, but I know other things about you. You're friends with Harry Potter, and Hermione Granger. You like to play chess and don't like Divination. You, err-"

"You broke your wand in your second year," said Crow, "and up until last year had a pet rat."

Ron's eyes moved from Fox to Crow and back as they continued naming facts and opinions about him, events which he had been in, conversations he's had, all the way up to yesterday.

"So you _have_ noticed me," said Ron slowly. Fox and Crow nodded.

"Of course we've noticed you. You're very visible, with your tallness. We just... forgot your name. All the time."

Fox's laugh was sheepish and apologetic, and he raised a hand to scratch his neck.

"So, all good?" he ventured. Ron forced his eyebrows away from the glare they had been holding, and Crow handed Ron his wand back.

"Yeah, alright," said Ron. "Just... make sure not to forget again, please."

"We won't. It's a promise," said Fox in a low, serious voice. Crow snapped something at Fox in their own language (don't involve me in your promises!), something which Fox ignored.

"I'll be off, then. See you next week."

"Bye Ron!"

As Ron walked away from the duo, he put the wand back in his robes. It had been a confrontation which had been brewing ever since the first time they'd forgotten his name, and in some ways it had gone worse than he'd ever imagined, with him ending up on the ground, but at least they managed to resolve it.

Now all he had to do was learn their real names, and then forget them. For (burning) RETRIBUTION!


	16. The graveyard part 1

**A/N:** And we're entering the final stretch of this fic. You'll find out why exactly the rating is what it is, and a plot point introduced way, way back makes its appearance. Enjoy!

* * *

"Think this is part of the test?"

The graveyard was eerie and apparently empty, but Cedric wasn't having any of that. The maze had deceived him before, so this might also be a hallucination. A tangible hallucination, but a good trick of the light and mind. He sensed something ancient and powerful at the back of his mind, putting him even more on edge.

He twirled around to pinpoint the source of the high voice when it spoke, but a Body-binding curse struck him and he toppled over slowly. From where he landed he saw Harry Potter double over in pain. A short man appeared in the distance, carrying something in his arms.

"Bind Harry Potter to the stone," commanded the high voice, and the man obliged after putting down the bundle of clothes. From this position Cedric couldn't see what it was, but he knew it wouldn't be pretty. It stank of Dark magic, he sensed it wafting off the creature.

"Bind the other one," said the voice, and obediently the man raised his wand and ropes shot out of it, binding Cedric's hands and feet. The body-binding curse slowly wore off, but Cedric still couldn't move a muscle thanks to the ropes. He could wriggle alright, but that wouldn't get him anywhere.

Unless... he had dropped his wand not far from his body, and if he wriggled just right, he might - got it! Cedric opened his mouth to cast a spell, any spell to get out of this situation, but the Dark creature was on to him.

"Wormtail, make sure the sacrifice doesn't get any ideas."

The next instant Cedric ground out "diffindo", cutting through the ropes. Quickly he scrambled to his feet, but the next instant was on the ground again, held there by the excruciating pain of the Cruciatus-curse. He was going to die, he was on fire, oh god let someone please put out the flames or put him out of this misery... The next moment it was over, so Cedric rolled over and threw up on the grass.

The man who had subjected him to the curse once again conjured up ropes.

But Cedric hadn't been chosen as the Hogwarts champion for no reason. He bit down on the lingering pain, readied his wand and at the same time that the man forced the ropes towards Cedric, he sprang. "Stupefy!"

The jet of red light missed by a mile, but Cedric kept on moving. Harry looked like he had recovered from his fit, so Cedric aimed a Severing Charm at the ropes binding the boy to the marble headstone. The mysterious man throwing spells at him interrupted him, and one of the spells hit. His wand flew out of his hand, and the Severing Charm died at the tip of his tongue.

"S-stand still, boy," the man ordered skittishly, but Cedric wasn't having any of that.

This year he had learnt how to fight without a wand, and while he had never imagined a situation like this would ever happen, he could use the training now. Not once stopping, he kicked off the marble headstone to quickly turn himself around and kneed the man in the groin at full speed. Inevitably the man doubled over and Cedric grabbed him by the back of the neck and introduced the man to the hard bone of Cedric's knee. With an audible 'crack' the man's nose broke, and he whimpered in pain. Cedric let him slump to the ground next to the Dark creature and bent over to retrieve his wand.

He made the mistake to glance at the Dark creature, and forever wished he hadn't. It was hideous. And mesmerizing. He couldn't stop looking at it, with its bloodred eyes and dark skin. His fingers were an inch away from his wand, but he couldn't bring himself to bridge that gap and pick up his wand. Why should he? This creature couldn't do him any harm, and the man still rolled around on the ground in pain, one hand clutching his groin, the other attempting to staunch the blood flow from his broken nose.

The Dark creature kept him there, trapped in his own mind, unable to send the necessary mental commands to the appropriate body parts. He was frozen in place, standing upright, eyes still fixated on the Dark creature, until the unknown man pulled himself together. Cedric was only vaguely aware that the man got to his feet and conjured up ropes again.

But this time he couldn't escape. The man bound him head to toe, and when the Dark creature finally released him his mind slammed back into gear. But it was too late.

He wobbled and fell over, unable to break his fall. He hit his head hard on the ground and flashes of light exploded behind his eyes. Dazed and unarmed he was once again at the mercy of the man and the Dark creature. The man kicked him several times in the stomach, and once in the groin. Hard.

The next few minutes were a blur of wheezing and pain and trying to draw any precious breath back into his body. He curled up to the best of his ability, but the ropes didn't have much leeway.

Yeah, this definitely wasn't part of any test anymore.

In the few minutes Cedric was out of it the man had been busy. He lowered the Dark creature into a big cauldron he had dragged to the graveyard, and once done with that task, he sank beside the fire and clutched the remainder of his arm to his body. When had he lost a hand, exactly?

Light and smoke emanated from the cauldron, and a figure rose from within.

"Robe me," said a man's voice, and the sobbing handless man pulled a robe over the man's head in one swift movement. A huge snake circled around the man, hissing up a storm. The snake then moved to circle around Cedric before moving on to Harry. Harry!

Cedric quickly wrested his attention away from the unfamiliar man to the other Hogwarts champion. Harry was still bound to the headstone, and had a look of utter horror on his face.

The mist cleared and Cedric saw the man rising from the cauldron. He was rather unremarkable, actually. Tall, black haired, with long fingers exploring his body, but other than that there was no sign that this man had spawned from such an ugly creature. In fact, Cedric admitted he was handsome.

Who _was_ this man?

The handless man kept calling him 'master', which gave Cedric no clue at all. That sniveling guy would call anyone with any power 'master' if given the chance.

"Potter," Cedric whispered urgently, as to not attract attention from the unknown man who talked to the sobbing man.

"You alright?"

It took a few seconds before his voice broke through Harry's stupor, but nevertheless Cedric got a blank look in return. Right, both bound head to toe by unknown people, of course he wasn't alright.

"You know who these guys are?"

Harry slowly nodded, but didn't answer. Cedric saw why, the poor guy had a cloth stuffed into his mouth. Harry worked out the wad, and finally managed to spit it out. It took one word from Harry to make Cedric's insides disappear completely and be replaced by sheer terror.

"Voldemort."

Cedric's gaze snapped back to the man currently bending down and pressing his fingers to the handless man's arm. _That_ was Voldemort? But Voldemort had bloodred eyes, white skin and resembled a snake more than a man!

"And Wormtail," Harry added, but that name didn't ring any bells with Cedric. He was too busy panicking over Voldemort's reappearance. He hoped with all his heart that Harry was wrong, but he knew he wasn't. He had faced down Voldemort once before, after all.

More people Apparated in the graveyard and they formed a loose circle around Voldemort.

"Can you break free?" asked Cedric, but Harry shook his head. Cedric mimicked that to signal that he couldn't, either, leaving them trapped and at the mercy of the Dark Lord. Joy.

The ancient presence that constantly nagging at him moved closer, and Cedric swore he heard it slithering. And it wasn't the snake still circling from Voldemort to Harry to Cedric. It was something bigger. Way bigger. Cedric put it out of his mind, he had more important things to worry about than some vague feeling of foreboding darkness.

Like the fact that a lot of Death Eaters arrived, and Voldemort greeted them. Some he ignored, he tortured one, he made remarks about the empty spaces, and made a hand for Wormtail.

But then something happened which cheered Cedric up infinitely. Three figures came barging in, two of them wearing masks, and the third one was a gigantic toad.

The guards had arrived.

* * *

"They're..." started Naruto, but Sasuke interrupted him.

"Yes."

"What're we gonna..."

"Find a way over there."

"Do you..."

"Summon a toad."

Sasuke fielded Naruto's questions so perfect, it was as if they shared one mind. Or maybe they knew each other that well.

The second Harry Potter and Cedric Diggory disappeared, Naruto and Sasuke ran to the center of the maze and investigated the place. Naruto was stumped as to what had transported the students, but Sasuke looked thoughtful.

For once obeying an order from Sasuke without arguing, Naruto bit his thumb and flashed through the seals, aiming for Gamakichi. "Kuchiyose no jutsu!"

Sure enough, the familiar orange toad appeared. "Yo, Naru- fox," he greeted, amending his greeting just in time. Not wasting any time on greeting the summon, Sasuke barged in with a question.

"Someone was recently transported from this place. Can you track the movement of the space-time continuum?"

Naruto deemed it a good call of judgment that he hadn't aimed for Gamatatsu. Gamakichi sniffed the air and drew a circle in the air with his paw.

"Yeah, I think so. You both wanna go where this guy went?"

The two shinobi looked at each other, before both leaping onto Gamakichi's back. It was a tight fit, with Naruto claiming Gamakichi's head, leaving Sasuke to cling to the toad's much abused jacket.

"I'll take that as a yes," said Gamakichi before raising a paw to his mouth and closing his eyes.

It occurred to Naruto that this was the first time he'd travel by a Kuchiyose no Jutsu, but by the time he'd processed that thought the world was gone. Instead Naruto was in two places at once, which his human brain found impossible to interpret, so his mind gave him some psychedelic pictures to look at instead. It was like that time he had eaten some mushrooms gone bad, which made the world melt away into terrifying monsters and Kakashi-sensei had turned into the Princess of the Salt 'n Pepper Shakers-country, complete with fluffy pink tutu. Only this time there were less monsters and more random colors and shapes. The journey only took them a second, but it was one of the longest seconds of Naruto's life.

When the world righted itself Gamakichi shook the two shinobi off, and Naruto quickly understood why. He felt like barfing his lungs out. Which he did, with much enthusiasm, and Sasuke right by his side doing exactly the same.

"Whelp, there goes my plan for making money with cheap travel," quipped Naruto after he recovered. Sasuke didn't give him the satisfaction of a reply, so Naruto sobered up and looked at the new surroundings.

A swamp. Lovely.

"You sure this is the right place?" he asked Gamakichi. The toad shrugged to the best of his abilities.

"Might be off by a few miles. The trail was already fading, so I had to make do."

"A few miles? I knew I should've summoned Gamatatsu!"

Gamakichi looked less than amused at that teasing remark, and poked Naruto in the ribs with his paw.

"I'll have you know that it's incredibly hard to track a trail through the space-time continuum! Do you have any idea how fast a tear gets fixed? You're lucky I'm that good, otherwise you'd still be at that school, scratching your heads how you were gonna get over here!"

Naruto's brain came up with an old man going round, fixing tears in the space-time continuum with duct tape and some nails while yelling "get off my damn universe!", but then forced himself to focus on the problem at hand. Where had Sasuke gone off to anyway?

"If you're done squabbling like an old couple, they're a mile off in that direction," said Sasuke from behind Gamakichi's back. He pointed towards a nearby cluster of trees, barely visible in the dark night.

"Then let's move!" cried Naruto, and began to run. Sasuke and Gamakichi followed a microsecond later.

* * *

Sasuke knew that it took them too long to cross the few miles to the target. Anything could have happened in those few minutes. Such as the shinobi running across black-cloaked people in a graveyard. These people stood between them and the two Hogwarts champions tied up a few yards from the group.

One man stood out from the cloaked people. He was unhooded and emitted the most killing intent of them all. This guy was dangerous, Sasuke's gut told him. Keeping one hand on his shuriken-pouch, his other hand went for his wand.

Naruto and Gamakichi came to a stop next to Sasuke, and Sasuke used that small distraction to activate his Sharingan.

His hunch was correct: the man had a huge amount of chakra / magic coursing through him. Perhaps even as much as a trained shinobi, though this man looked like any other wizard, with robes and a wand. If he was a shinobi Sasuke would be fighting off a jutsu by now.

But the man stood there, smirking. He thought his minions could handle the two 'kids'?

"Release the students," demanded Sasuke, but the chakra blurs representing people didn't move. Oh well, he had tried diplomacy.

Honed by instinct and years of training together, the two shinobi attacked at the same time. Gamakichi lagged behind, not used to Sasuke's fighting style. The toad chose to stick with Naruto.

Already the hooded wizards shot spells at him, but Sasuke avoided them by jumping high in the air. The wizards weren't used to kids acting all cockroach-y, so Sasuke had the element of surprise. By the time he landed two men had a kunai stuck in their throat and choked on their own blood. Sasuke immediately rolled to avoid more spells sent his way, including the dreaded Avada Kedavra-spell. He took refuge behind a headstone for a second and drew out his own wand. The little stick had one advantage, he only had to poke the tip out to fire blind spells at the group. No risking life and limb here, thank you.

"Stupefy!"

A thud meant he hit someone. But since he was going up against wizards, Sasuke knew it was better to use some shinobi tricks to throw them off track. Using the cover of the headstone, Sasuke created a bunshin and sent it running across the graveyard. Since it was an illusion and not a kage bunshin, spells passed right through it.

Using the few seconds of reprieve it provided, Sasuke flashed through the necessary seals for his next jutsu. He got to his feet, breathed in deep, turned to the cloaked wizards and blew. A huge fireball erupted some inches from his mouth, and the first cloaked wizard was surprised by it. He screamed in pain when his flesh got scorched from his bones, but the next wizards in line reacted quicker. Several tidal waves conjured by the Aguamenti-spell hit Sasuke's Katon jutsu, snuffing it out completely. The burning wizard was also doused, but he didn't get up.

The wizards spread out, taking up their own positions to battle the surprise shinobi attack. Sasuke saw that Naruto had also used some pointy metal things to create victims, and his teammate currently used kage bunshin to force the wizards back. One kage bunshin snuck off to the Hogwarts champions, but the dangerous man caught it nonchalantly with a Death spell.

His voice rang over the graveyard-turned-battlefield. "Enough!"

The wizards immediately stilled as if they played red light / green light. Sasuke wasn't going to obey any order given by this man, though the wizards seemed to expect so. But they had never fought in a shinobi war.

Sasuke dared poke his head around the headstone, and he spotted his victim: the man had lost his mask, making him a prime candidate for Sasuke's specialty. Predictably, the man alternately glanced from Sasuke's to Naruto's hiding spot. When he looked at Sasuke's headstone, Sasuke made sure he looked straight at the man's eyes. He weaved a genjutsu around the man with his Sharingan, making the man believe that both shinobi had darted from their hiding places and slalomed around the wizards. With a cry of triumph, the man fired several spells at where he believed the shinobi to be. Of course, there were no shinobi, only wizards. And they hadn't anticipated an attack from within. Three more went down, though the man hadn't used a Death Spell.

Before Sasuke could wonder why, he saw one man lower his hood and remove his mask.

Sasuke looked directly into his brother's eyes.

* * *

Sasuke couldn't speak, couldn't move. How and _why_ was his brother here? He should be somewhere in the shinobi countries, on an Akatsuki errand. Not here in this graveyard, staring at him with those familiar soulless eyes.

"I see," whispered a voice to his left. Startled, Sasuke dared sneak a glance, watching Itachi from the corner of his eyes. But the owner of the voice wasn't visible.

"I wondered who this man was," whispered the voice, this time from behind. "But I can read it's your brother, a man who killed your clan. Yet he let you live."

The voice shifted to the right. Itachi stood there, hands at his side, dull red eyes staring at Sasuke. This was not Itachi, Sasuke realized. The Dark wizard had caught him in a genjutsu. The shifting voice, Itachi's posture, it all felt wrong. His brother had longer lines on his face, sported purple nails, and Itachi wasn't wearing his scratched forehead protector.

Sasuke brought his hands together, briefly closed his eyes and focused on breaking through the genjutsu. "Kai." But when he opened his eyes, Itachi was still there, still all wrong.

"I'm sorry, it's not that easy. Now why don't you step down from that headstone and join us in our circle? Your teammate is also welcome."

The voice was seductive and friendly. It made sense to Sasuke. This man wouldn't hurt him. If anything, he had the power to protect. Sasuke got up, but Naruto blindsided him and tackled him to the ground.

"Idiot!" hissed Naruto and pinned him to the grass by sitting on Sasuke's stomach. "What the hell do you think you're doing? Moody demonstrated that Imperius-spell, and still you fall for it!"

Sasuke shook his head, but couldn't find any words. He needed to get down there, join the circle. Then everything would be alright. Vaguely he felt the sting from Naruto's slap, but it didn't matter. Itachi needed him.

The sensation of foreign chakra running through him finally chased away the voices, and Sasuke took a deep breath. He nodded to Naruto, but couldn't bear to utter the word 'thanks'. This Dark wizard was way too dangerous, and way too skilled at genjutsu. He had even fooled an owner of the Sharingan, though that was in combination with the Imperius-spell.

Naruto rolled off Sasuke, and they both took refuge behind a large headstone. Gamakichi was nowhere to be found. The Dark wizard said something, but Sasuke paid him no heed.

"Plan?" whispered Naruto, and Sasuke used the reflective surface of a kunai to assess the situation. As far as he could see in the distorted image, the wizards tried to surround them. The Dark wizard still stood next to the huge cauldron, near the Hogwarts champions. The champions were thankfully still alive, judging by their wriggling. They hadn't been able to escape though, and since they were bound head to toe, Sasuke didn't like their odds.

"More big-scale jutsu," said Sasuke. "Things they've never seen before. Use the chaos to get to the champions. Get Gamakichi to transport them back. I'll keep the dark wizard busy."

Sasuke's plan was simple. The usual shinobi tactics: in and out before anybody even knew what had happened. A bit too late for that tactic, but parts of it were still salvageable. Like creating a big enough ruckus that nobody knew what exactly went down.

Naruto created some clones. He took a deep breath, jumped to his feet and darted off, zigzagging between the headstones. The clones started up big wind-style jutsu, blowing loose grass and plants every which way.

Time to confront the dark wizard. Sasuke steeled his mind for another genjutsu encounter and felt relieved to find Itachi gone when he too jumped to his feet.

A green jet missed him by inches, but the Dark wizard pointed his wand at the wizard responsible for the Death Spell, who crumpled to the ground without making any sound. Sasuke spared a thought as to why the man had done that, but then he became occupied with staying alive.

Once again he created several bunshin, but the Dark wizard didn't react to them. He kept staring at Sasuke, but Sasuke made sure not to meet his eyes. He spun a genjutsu to fool the other wizards, making them believe that he ran off to the right to assist Naruto. Instead he stopped, grabbed a few exploding kunai and targeted the wizards who gave chase. Marble flew everywhere, and the targets cried out in pain as they disappeared in a cloud of stone dust. Flashy wasn't just Naruto's specialty.

The Dark wizard's stare unnerved him, but Sasuke tried to keep an eye on him without looking at the man. Any moment now he expected to be grabbed by the Imperius-curse, but apparently the Dark wizard had decided that he favored another approach: Death by Staring.

A cry from a familiar voice momentarily distracted Sasuke. Gamakichi burst forth from the dust in the air with a wizard clutching to his vest. He landed next to Sasuke, and the shinobi didn't waste any time punching the wizard in the face. With a pained cry the man slumped to the ground, blood running from his no doubt broken nose.

"Thanks," panted Gamakichi, before using his strong legs to push off and disappear into the night.

Sasuke refocused on the Dark wizard, but the man was gone. Even with his Sharingan, Sasuke couldn't find him anymore. A voice to his right finally alerted him to a presence, but it was too late.

"You're a strange boy," the man said, and the next moment Sasuke was lost in his own mind. He relived the slaughter, the burning hate towards his brother, the self-hate at his incompetence, the scathing remarks, every bad thing he had ever heard, thought or dreamt about himself. It was a devastating attack, and a brilliant one. Why destroy someone when you could have them destroy themselves?

The torrent of destruction kept on pounding away, memory after memory underlining his worthlessness. Sasuke didn't know if he screamed, maybe even cried. It didn't matter, because there was nobody left to comfort him. He, Sasuke concluded, was better off dead.

And then the attack stopped. A heavy fog lifted from Sasuke's mind and he found himself curled in a fetal position, about to slit his wrists with one of his kunai. Blearily he looked around, searching for the source of the interruption. Predictably, Naruto crouched over Sasuke like a mother grizzly over its baby bear. Sasuke couldn't tell if it was the real one or a clone, but he felt a surge of hope at the sight of Naruto's bared fangs. He at least still had a teammate who cared, two teammates even. And a sensei.

"You won't be able to pull that crap with me," warned Naruto, and after casting a quick glance at Sasuke, he charged with a Rasengan formed in his hand.

Sasuke scrambled to his feet to watch the gory explosion, but he was disappointed when Naruto's trademark attack bounced off on some sort of personal shield.

"You're still such silly children. I'll guess I have no choice but to show you real power," said the Dark wizard.

Sasuke activated his Sharingan in time to see a streak of magic headed his way. Before he could dodge, it enveloped him, and _twisted_. His body simply shut down, his legs no longer supporting his weight. He tried to repel it, change the magic coursing through his body, clashing with his chakra and scalding several chakra pathways, but to no avail. It burnt, but he couldn't cry out. He collapsed on the spot.

Masked men jumped on top of him and disarmed him, yanking the pouches from his clothes and throwing them haphazardly away. The man also took his wand and the kunai he clutched in one fist.

"Done," he announced, and backed up to make room for the next masked man. This man bound Sasuke in ropes from head to toe.

"I advise you not to struggle. I've charmed these ropes so the more you struggle, the tighter they become. If you want to, you can choke yourself to death with these."

The other masked men (and did he hear a woman's voice in there) laughed raucously. Sasuke recognized some of the men as people he'd struck down before, either with a kunai or with one of his jutsu. Apparently there was a damn good healer in this group, because other than bloodied robes, the men sported no sign of having a knife stuck in their throat.

Between a gap in the men surrounding Sasuke, he saw Naruto. He stood stock still and was locked in a staring match with the Dark wizard. He trembled all over, but at least he hadn't gone down. Yet.

The Dark wizard chuckled softly. "I see. That's why my servant felt Dark magic in your presence," he said, and smirked like a man Sasuke had once seen in a retirement home. It was the smirk of a deranged shinobi, dangerous to himself and the ones surrounding him.

"You, dear boy, are going to be useful. But first, I believe my loyal servants want an explanation. Please, sit down."

It wasn't a suggestion. Naruto looked ready to flip him off and then gut him, but he had apparently forgotten about the twenty or so men still surrounding him. All it took to bring him down were three cries of _Stupefy!_ and a length of rope.

Sasuke hoped that the Kyuubi would take this as an insult and start pumping chakra through Naruto, because with every second this situation became more and more of a disaster.

Two men dragged Naruto from the spot where he had collapsed and deposited him next to Sasuke. Naruto's mask broke away from his face. The threads connecting the mask to Naruto's face had finally severed with Naruto's apparent unconsciousness. Sasuke lost his mask a while ago, somewhere around the first charge. He couldn't bother with the tiny extra drain on his chakra resources, not when there was a battle to be fought and won. Or in this case, lost. But the war wasn't over. As long as they were alive, they still had a chance.

The reveal of Naruto's face prompted a lingering look from the Dark wizard. He bend forward and traced one of Naruto's whisker-marks with a long finger.

"I wonder," Sasuke heard him whisper to himself, before righting himself and looking at his gathered followers.

"Report," he ordered. A man stepped forward and kneeled on one knee in front of the man.

"Master, we've lost three men, and two of your followers are trapped in an illusion we can't break them out of. We have fifteen injured, one life-threatening. She's the one who got hit by a fireball. Darkdorf is attempting to heal her."

The Dark wizard nodded. "You have fought well, my loyal servants, even when dealing with high-level shinobi. I'm pleased to see that you have not dulled your senses."

The masked people stayed quiet, waiting for more. The Dark wizard indulged them.

"We shall honor the fallen, but for now, we must focus on the present. Because, as you have probably seen, Harry Potter is here and alive to witness my resurrection."

The Dark wizard started telling the tale of his demise, his plans to get back to power, and how Harry Potter had blocked them every single time. But now the boy was bound hand and foot, just like the shinobi. And _they_ were supposed to be the rescuers!

Finally the Dark wizard stopped talking, after proclaiming he'd kill Harry Potter.

"But first, my dear boy, I must attend to some other matters. It is fortuitous for you that you have brought along another boy, because now you get the glorious opportunity to duel with the great Lord Voldemort."

Finally, a name to go with the (admittedly handsome) face.

Sasuke wracked his brain, recalling every book he read, to see if he could connect that name to a weakness or special kind of magic he should know about. But there was nothing. The only name that he had come across often was 'You-know-who', but no book ever told him who exactly that was.

Voldemort looked beyond the circle of masked servants and began hissing like a snake. His brown eyes searched the dark graveyard for something. Sasuke felt something draw closer, a chakra he hadn't paid much attention to up till now. The Dark wizard's chakra had far outshone this chakra, but now the large mass of chakra overpowered the Dark wizard's.

Sasuke recognized the chakra. It was the same as in the Forbidden Forest. He threw Naruto a knowing (and slightly panicked) look, because this was definitely turning into the most disastrous rescue in the history of Konoha.

A large, scaly body burst forth from a nearby hill, slithering closer with astounding speed. The concentrated ball of chakra died in between its fangs. It must have burrowed all the way from Hogwarts to this place, melting ground and rock with its ball of pure chakra to clear the way.

The tenth demon had arrived.


	17. The graveyard part 2

The demon circled around the circle of humans, hissing back to the guy called Voldemort. Voldemort hissed back and it looked like they were having a conversation, but Naruto shuddered to think about the subject. Probably not about the weather, if his short talks with his resident demon were any comparison. Those were mostly about blood and guts and power, and if this demon was in any way demon-like, the two of them discussed which of the bound prisoners would make a good snack.

The masked servants shuffled around nervously, obviously not used to the amount of chakra a demon gave off. Some of them held wands, though they didn't point them yet at the demon.

Finally Voldemort was done sounding like an emptying balloon, and he turned back to his followers.

"As some of you may know, I had another source of power at my disposal. My natural talent is already great, but only with demon power was I able to achieve my true goals. And now you have the honor to bear witness to this rebirth of my true self."

The servants whispered amongst themselves, some of them sounding surprised while others remained stoic.

"To do so, I need to complete a ritual," said Voldemort, and turned to the squirming Hogwarts champions. "And that's why it's fortunate for you, Harry Potter, that you've brought a _friend_ along."

The Dark wizard spat the word as if it was an insult.

"Because I need a human sacrifice for this ritual. I originally intended to use Harry Potter, but now that he's once again made sure it's not his life on the line, I'm going to use this opportunity. Bring the boy over here."

Two servants ran to Cedric and dragged him back to the circle. He tried to struggle, but he only managed to slow them down.

Meanwhile, Voldemort turned to the two shinobi. His voice was soft, but the gleam in his eyes spoke of terrible things to come.

"You're wondering how I can contain the power of a demon," he said. It wasn't even a question, merely a statement. It wasn't exactly what Naruto had been thinking (which was more along the lines of 'we're so screwed'), but now he wanted to know regardless.

"I'm not like you," said Voldemort to Naruto. "You're merely a demon _container_, housing the power of a demon and perhaps you can even draw on it, but you lose control at a certain point. Since you have the nine-tails demon inside of you, you must have extreme control over the demon chakra, because you have not yet succumbed to its will."

Voldemort's followers listened in with rapt interest, and Naruto squirmed. This man had way too much info on jinchuuriki, and he shuddered to think what this man could do with that.

"But I have devised a spell to _merge_ with a demon, so all its powers become mine. Only a true Dark wizard can control the immense magic that comes with the merge, but I have done it once, and I shall do so again."

With the swish of his cloak he turned his back to the shinobi and eyed the struggling Cedric. "Be proud, boy, you shall make my rise to power complete. Now then, what's your name?"

One of the masked servants ripped the cloth from the boy's mouth, but all Voldemort got in response was a string of curses. Voldemort lazily raised his wand and calmly said: "Crucio."

This time Cedric screamed and writhed on the ground, inadvertently kicking one of the men by his side. After a grueling ten seconds Voldemort lowered his wand.

"What is your name, boy?"

"T-taylor Smith," tried Cedric, but Voldemort chuckled and shook his head.

"When will the youth learn." He lifted his wand and whispered: "Imperio". Cedric immediately relaxed and his eyes took on a misty look, as if he was thinking of something far away.

"Cedric Diggory," he finally said.

"Cedric, I have some things I want you to do," said Voldemort. He didn't say any instructions out loud, but merely waved his wand to make the ropes fall off. Cedric obediently got up and walked towards the demon, still with that dreamy look on his face. Naruto screamed for the boy to stop, to break him out of the spell, but all that got him was a kick in the stomach.

"My loyal servants, back away. This spell can lash out and I would hate to see you hurt so short after our ... _reunion_."

The masked followers backed away so fast it was as if Voldemort had announced he had rabies and was going to bite everyone in range.

"And take the captives with you. I have plans for them," instructed Voldemort. Naruto was roughly yanked backwards with a summoning spell, and he rolled to a stop at the feet of a buff man, who snorted at the shinobi. Naruto read in the man's body language that he wanted to beat Naruto up, but he also wanted to see the spectacle of a human/demon merge. He settled for kicking Naruto away, once in the kidneys and once in his groin.

By the time Naruto recovered from that assault Voldemort was already beginning the spell. That guy didn't waste any time, did he? Cedric stood ram-rod straight, arms held out to the side. He had a lazy smile on his face, as if this was the best thing to ever happen to him.

The tenth demon also held still, eyes fixated on the Dark wizard. Its tongue slipped out to taste the air, and Naruto heard Kyuubi howl for the demon's blood.

Wait a sec, Kyuubi!

The vague notion of a hypothetical plan that could, maybe, perhaps, work grew in the back of his mind. His half-assed plans had a habit of working out, so maybe this time he could fly by the seat of his pants too. The masked servants were disorganized enough for this to succeed.

Naruto closed his eyes and focused on his chakra. He moved past his familiar blue chakra and headed for the red one, drawing it closer to the surface. He tried to keep the chakra inside and not give any outward sign that he tried to do something, but it was hard. The demon chakra was incredibly hard to control, and all it wanted to do was burst free. He couldn't move his hands, but he still had one weapon at his disposal: Kyuubi's amazing killing intent.

When he had gathered enough of the dark force, he took a deep breath and sent it all out in one giant burst. Every negative emotion, every bloodthirsty thought, he gathered it all and sent it through the demon chakra to the outside world. The chakra magnified the emotions for maximum effect.

All around him the servants froze and Naruto felt dozens of eyes on his figure, every single one of them panicking. The weak-willed ones ran away, screaming bloody murder and hopping over gravestones like Olympic athletes. Stronger men (and women) froze on the spot, some of them sinking to their knees, others falling into a fetal position or rocking back and forth, knees drawn to the chest. Naruto sustained the burst for as long as he could, but eventually he ran out of the chakra he had drawn to the surface.

The servants were reduced to animals, reacting like any prey towards a predator. Running, hiding, freezing, but thankfully not defending or counter-attacking.

With the temporary reprieve Naruto once again tried to struggle out of his bonds using the basic jutsu he had learnt when he was twelve, but even those were powerless against the enchanted ropes. He needed to get out of them before the servants came to their senses and returned, because he knew the punishment would be severe.

Sasuke lay not too far off his right side. He had survived Naruto's attack unharmed, used to Kyuubi's killing intent long ago. He also tried to use this opportunity to escape, but neither of the shinobi could free themselves. Naruto rolled over to him to the best of his ability. The ropes started to tighten and it got harder to breathe. If he struggled any longer, he wouldn't be able to breathe at all.

"Nice trick," muttered Sasuke as he rubbed the ropes against the headstone he was propped up against. But the headstone was pure marble, sanded down so lovingly there wasn't a rough edge in sight. Naruto tried to find a rock to rub up against, but when he needed one there were none around. Typical.

"Tell me you've got some kind of spell to get us out of these," said Naruto. Sasuke remained quiet, and that was all the answer Naruto needed.

"After all that practicing and experimenting-"

"Stop whining and start cutting," replied Sasuke sharply. "Or better yet, call Gamakichi back."

That's right! Gamakichi was still around! Naruto saw Sasuke wince as he utilized the full force of his considerable lungs, but the toad didn't appear.

"Must've scared him with my killing intent," said Naruto. Two feet appeared in his line of vision, and his gaze traveled upwards to see who had withstood his attack.

"You insolent dogs!" roared Voldemort in their native language and before Naruto could do anything react he hung upside down in mid-air. Sasuke dangled right next to him, softly swaying but with a fierce scowl on his face.

"Count yourself lucky that you've got that demon inside of you, and that I need another human sacrifice for the second demon ritual," hissed Voldemort as he addressed the shinobi. Naruto's eyes grew wide. This guy was going to extract Kyuubi and use Sasuke as the sacrifice? How ... Akatsuki of him.

Sasuke apparently thought along the same line, because he calmly said:

"Got a cloak with red clouds, by any chance?"

Voldemort stared at Sasuke for a few seconds, sneered, and lifted the spell keeping them in mid-air. With a painful thump they landed on their heads and Naruto swore he heard something crack in his skull.

"I'll take that as a no," said Naruto. Voldemort threw the shinobi a last hate-filled look before stalking off to terrorize his followers into obedience. Some of them came out of their animal-instincts-induced stupor, and they were none too happy.

"Got another burst ready?" asked Sasuke, but Naruto shook his head.

"Burnt it all up. Maybe in another two minutes."

"Then the next two minutes are going to suck."

For Sasuke to use such casual language, Naruto knew something was wrong. Before he could delve any deeper, he was struck by the Cruciatus-spell and he spent the next two or three minutes or maybe an eternity getting stabbed by invisible daggers while simultaneously being dipped in salt with a skinned body. The ropes coiled even tighter, so he could only draw shallow breaths, turning his screams into whimpers.

Finally the masked men had extracted enough revenge and they backed off, though Voldemort's order might have had something to do with that.

"Pull something like that one more time and I'll rethink your worth," threatened Voldemort. He walked off towards the docile Cedric and nervous snake-demon. With a few hisses from Voldemort the demon relaxed, and left Naruto to wonder if that Dark wizard could talk in Snakese.

And then the fireworks started.

Voldemort's interrupted spell meant that he had to start all over again, but this time Naruto couldn't do anything about it. The surprise attack of his killing intent was no longer effective, and he could hardly draw enough breath to stay conscious, let alone form another plan. Sasuke's sharp mind was his only hope, but his fellow shinobi looked as tired as he felt. Sasuke had a smaller chakra reservoir, and duelling with Voldemort with his Sharingan had taken a lot out of him, apparently.

In the distance Voldemort chanted something in an unfamiliar language, though Naruto caught phrases like 'Cedric Diggory' and 'demonicus Serpentus'. His wand was aglow with Dark magic/chakra, and when he waved it around it left afterimages on Naruto's retina. He drew complicated runes in mid-air, which stayed lit and gathered around Cedric. More runes joined the writing, this time gathering around the demon. A third set of runes sat at Voldemort's feet. The air crackled with magic, small lightning forks shooting out of Voldemort's wand. The orange-yellow light of the runes lit the scene with an eerie glow, casting shadows where there shouldn't be any. Cedric disappeared behind the runes, but he still smiled that serene smile.

The runes shifted, twirling faster and faster. They turned blood red, and formed a link between the three creatures. Voldemort kept chanting and waving his wand, shooting lightning everywhere, but it never connected with anything.

All of a sudden the runes stopped and drew into the connected creatures. Cedric's smile finally fell and he clawed at his belly, where the runes had disappeared into.

Without making a sound the snake demon ... evaporated. Black energy ran along the link towards Cedric. It disappeared inside of him for a few seconds, and when the energy came back out, it was dark red. It raced along the link between Voldemort and Cedric, and finally disappeared inside Voldemort. The Dark wizard stumbled back a step, breaking the link of runes. Cedric collapsed on the spot, the look of shock still on his face. Naruto had no doubt that the boy was dead.

Meanwhile Voldemort hosted another light show. The rune light completely enveloped him, but Naruto saw his shadowy form twisting left and right in the lights. He held his face in his hands as if he was afraid it'd fall off.

After maybe thirty seconds the lights died down and Voldemort slowly stood up straight. Steam rose off his body, but Naruto didn't smell any burnt hair. In fact, the guy didn't have any hair at all anymore.

When he turned, Naruto had to bite back on a cry of surprise (not that he had the breath to cry anything). The handsome Dark wizard had turned into a hideous and unnatural looking human-demon. He resembled a snake in every way, from the nose-slits to earless to baldness. And to top it all off, he sported red eyes too. How unoriginal.

His white hands ran experimentally over his body, and he appeared happy with the end result. He beckoned his followers closer, and one by one they fell to their knees and kissed the hem of his robes.

It was a strong display of power, but Naruto had seen better. He didn't want to think about what would happen to him if Kyuubi got ripped out of him. Would he live to tell the tale? Could Sasuke somehow contain the demon so it wouldn't be able to move on to Voldemort?

And most importantly: Just _how_ ridiculous would Voldemort look with a fluffy tail and fox ears?

* * *

"Behold the true power of a demon," hissed Voldemort. His red eyes focused on Harry Potter, and burning hatred filled them. Voldemort had adopted the demon's killing intent, and used every last drop of it to intimidate the poor kid. Good thing they had trained him to shake it off, otherwise he'd be in a poor position.

Naruto tried to sit up but got kicked in the ribs for his efforts. Every breath was a victory by now, but he could not afford to lose consciousness.

"And now, my dear boy, you get to experience my reborn strength. I'm going to prove my power to you by killing him in front of you, my loyal servants. Untie him and give him his wand back," ordered Voldemort.

Naruto perked up. This idiot was actually going to give the boy a fighting chance? But then he felt the waves of chakra beating off Voldemort, and his delight faded fast. This man was going to win this fight, no matter what. And all Harry Potter got were his wits, his wand and the training he received from the shinobi. Naruto hoped it'd be enough, but his rational mind told him it wasn't. Harry Potter was fast with both mind and feet, but he lacked the agility of a shinobi, and the ruthlessness required of those in the killing trade. The boy was imbued with Light magic, and couldn't take the live of a man even if said man held a knife to his throat.

The first thing Harry Potter did (after being tortured) was dive behind a headstone. Voldemort taunted him back out, and then more fireworks happened. A golden thread connected between the two wands, though this thread lacked the runes from before. The thread broke off in a dozen threads and interweaved until the Dark and the Light wizard were blurs inside a golden cage. Voldemort shrieked instructions, but the servants couldn't breach the ball of light.

Something happened inside the cage, more blurs became visible-

A flipper landed on Naruto's shoulder and distracted him from the incredible scene playing out.

"Took you long enough," Naruto managed to say in between breaths. Gamakichi rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, yeah. Hold still."

The toad tried to undo the knots, first with his surprisingly bendy flippers, then by using a kunai. None of his methods worked, the enchanted ropes remained as tight as before.

"Try running chakra through them," suggested Sasuke. Gamakichi did so, but all he got was a singed flipper as the spell back lashed.

"Any more bright ideas?"

Naruto got distracted from this scene by a development at the other scene. Harry Potter had broken the cage and now ran for his life, straight towards the shinobi. He bowled over two of the masked men in his haste but kept right on running, his eyes wild but his wand steady. He zigzagged between headstones and blindly fired over his shoulder. By sheer luck he managed to hit one masked servant, but the others kept firing spells, some of them landing terribly close to the shinobi.

When Harry reached the shinobi he cut through their ropes with some kind of spell in one smooth motion. Naruto took one second to draw a deep breath and revel in the oxygen before he got down to business.

"I need to get Cedric and use the Portkey," said Harry. Sasuke jumped to his feet and tackled him to the ground, out of the way of the red and green spells scorching the air around them. Naruto joined them by rolling over the ground, but the wizards didn't seem to aim at him.

Gamakichi hunkered down behind them. Watching the toad gave Naruto an idea.

"You need to go back to Hogwarts," said Naruto in English. "Gamakichi, can you do another transport to Hogwarts?"

The giant toad nodded and shot a jet of fire at the advancing wizards. The wizards scrambled and tried to put out the flames. They still fired spells, but missing on purpose to keep the group into place. Other wizards were most likely flanking them or coming up from behind, so they needed to move fast.

But Harry threw a spanner in the machinery. He shook his head.

"I must take Cedric with me," he said. "His ... ghost asked me to."

Naruto noticed the terror behind his eyes as he said that, but for now the boy operated on survival instinct. Later on he'd collapse. Naruto had seen it before, sadly.

"Alright. Gamakichi, can you jump to Cedric and transport them both?"

"I'm _not_ leaving you behind," said Harry. Gamakichi murmured some sort of assent again and presented his back to the boy, so he could climb on.

"They're _Naruto_ and _Sasuke_, if anyone can handle this, it's them," said the toad. But Harry still refused.

"Like you handled it before?"

Naruto's mouth snapped shut and Sasuke kept quiet too. They had royally screwed up. Voldemort was a too strong and unknown factor and now that he had become a demon-human things could turn ugly. Ugl_ier_, any semblance of control over the situation was a laughable idea.

"Gamakichi, just grab the boy and go. We'll create an opportunity," said Sasuke in his native tongue. Harry sensed that something had been ordered, because he tensed on the spot and opened his mouth to protest. Before he could form a coherent sentence Naruto created eight clones, transformed them into carbon copies of the four and sent them off on different directions. Gamakichi took that as his cue and grabbed the boy in one orange flipper. With his strong hind legs he pushed off and landed next to the dead Champion. He gathered him up in his remaining flipper and disappeared in his trademark cloud. The whole operation was over in seconds, all that was left of Harry was his cry of protest which still hung in the air.

"Showtime," said Naruto. The wizards were confused by which of the clones were real, and the thrown spells no longer focused on the gravestone they crouched behind.

"Plan?" asked Naruto, and Sasuke replied:

"Maim and escape. Voldemort is of unknown strength and we need backup to take him down."

Sasuke gestured for Naruto to spearhead the attack, miming that he ran low in chakra. No wonder, thought Naruto, they'd used up a lot already to create the first diversion. In an unconscious gesture he cracked his knuckles before forming his trademark Kage Bunshin hand seal. This time they'd take down as many wizards as possible, and make sure they were down before escaping back to a safe distance. With any luck Gamakichi would use follow his own trail and end up back here, so they could transport out of here. And if not… Shinobi could run fast.

Naruto briefly concentrated on sending out more clones, about fifty of them in total, and transformed half of them into Sasuke. Even his enormous well of chakra started to run dry. The flashy jutsu he had used at the beginning of this whole debacle had drained him, and constantly sending out clones wasn't doing him any good either. The attack of the clones went well, with wizards shooting spells left and right at the multitude of yellow and black figures.

Sasuke and Naruto nodded at each other and both sprang away, ready to add some more chaos to the mayhem. They both kept far away from Voldemort, who angrily paced the spot where Gamakichi had transported Harry and Cedric's body to the safety of Hogwarts.

Naruto lamented the loss of his kunai but made up for it by punching hard. A few of them would certainly not get up again, but others he injured a lot without killing them. He wanted to spare his chakra by not performing Rasengan with every other clone, but his injured/kill ratio suffered.

Naruto searched the lighted graveyard for Sasuke. The real Sasuke. His clones couldn't mimic Sasuke's fighting style that well, so he looked for his teammate by watching the moves. He found Sasuke not far from him, the familiar black duck-butt hair turned away from him. He knew that was the real Sasuke by the real duck-butt hair. That, and Sasuke performed Chidori on an unsuspecting (but far from innocent) soul.

He made eye contact with those amazing red eyes and they both nodded. Time to get out of here. Gamakichi hadn't shown back up, so they'd have to clean their own mess. The shinobi jumped over the fighting wizards and landed in a nearby weeping willow. Sadly that was the only tree in jumping vicinity. They'd have to move to the tree line some three hundred yards away before they could make good their escape.

They jumped back down (as far away from the heat of the fight as possible) and began running, arms trailing behind them. Just as they had cleared the fight something appeared right in front of them with a loud _crack_. Naruto had to punch the brakes to avoid the guy.

Voldemort was back, and he looked furious. His eyes were alive with feelings of hate not entirely his own. The demon lurked inside somewhere, and Naruto was all too familiar with the demonic feeling of hate. It was invigorating, overwhelming and addictive all at once. And he loathed it with every fiber of his soul.

This man had willingly embraced (absorbed) a demon to get power. And he had killed an innocent boy because he had been in the wrong spot at the wrong time.

It was a good thing this wizard was only used to wizard duels. Voldemort raised his wand, but before he said anything Naruto beat him to the punch. Literally. Naruto felt some kind of recoil from the botched spell, but Voldemort went sailing through the air and landed on his back a few feet away with a satisfying smack.

"And don't come back," muttered Naruto. He gazed around to look for Sasuke, to make sure his teammate was alright. He found him a few yard behind him, but for some reason he stared at Naruto with subdued horror in his eyes. Naruto looked down at himself. And he wished he hadn't, because when he saw it the pain began.

Voldemort's non-verbal spell had neatly sliced into him, creating a deep wound which ran from his right shoulder diagonally across his front all the way to his left hip. He saw the white of his sternum gleam in the light of the spells still being flung around.

And then his blood sprung from the temporarily cauterized arteries and covered the bonewhite wound with red. Naruto collapsed on the spot and was vaguely aware that all of his clones popped. Their memories reunited with his and he learned some more tidbits about the wizards they fought. But nothing to get him out of this fix.

Naruto felt Sasuke at his side, kneeling but keeping Voldemort at bay by activating his Chidori. He let the chirping sound serve as a warning, giving Naruto the time needed to recover. Normal people couldn't recover from a wound like this without a medic's aid, but Naruto didn't have to dig deep for the demon chakra.

"Here's a demonstration," wheezed Naruto at Voldemort and his lackeys. Hopefully they'd learn how futile their quest for power was. There was always someone stronger than you out there, and a lot of masked servants had learnt that tonight the hard way.

Naruto let the demon chakra envelop him and wash away the pain, the blood squirting from his arteries. His flesh sizzled when it healed, but that didn't hurt. The healing released a bunch of hormones into his blood, making him as happy as a penguin taking flight, and as giddy as one too. A dangerous combination in the middle of a fight, even a temporarily halted fight like this one.

Within seconds it was over, leaving nothing but an out-of-breath jinchuuriki and a shinobi guardian. The remaining masked servants formed a loose circle around the pair, with Voldemort standing too close for comfort. He looked at the scene with detached interest, like a geologist dissecting a piece of soil.

Naruto kept hold of the demon chakra. This was becoming an all-or-nothing scenario, and in that case he preferred to have rapid healing by the hand. If Voldemort was ready to use almost-fatal spells, he had moved himself to the top of Naruto's personal bingo book.

"That's an interesting trick you've got there," said Voldemort. Naruto forced himself to kneel and then sit on his haunches, ready to spring. The newly healed scar stung, but it was bearable. He'd be able to run if necessary. Sasuke took up position on the other side of him, back to back, so they had a primitive Byakugan.

"Any clones?" asked Sasuke in a whisper.

"No," whispered Naruto back. "Run?"

"Run."

Without wasting another second they jumped over the wizard's heads and simply ran away as fast as they could, which was at considerable speed. Naruto didn't bother with clones or any decoys, though Sasuke turned around for a second and blew a large fireball at the pursuing wizards.

They ran a good hundred yards, and then all of a sudden they were back in the same circle, announced by multiple loud bangs. Naruto glanced over his shoulder as he slid to a stop. Had they really run away or were they trapped in an illusion? But no, the lone wizard struck by Sasuke's fireball twitched on the ground and another wizard tended to him.

"Disapparating," growled Sasuke. Voldemort gave the shinobi a slow-clap and grinned his hateful and, in Naruto's opinion, mad grin.

"The boy finally gets it. No matter how fast you run, I'll always catch up with you."

The Dark wizard turned to Naruto. "I'd like another demonstration of your remarkable healing power."

Before Naruto could do anything Voldemort raised his wand and Naruto felt the same recoil as before, from shoulder to hip. But this time the wound didn't even bleed, it sizzled close before even a drop of blood came out.

"Fascinating."

Naruto didn't feel so fascinated. In fact, he'd prefer it if the Dark wizard burned on a stake, impaled above a pond of hungry alligators. The Kyuubi hissed all kinds of suggestions in his head, reacting strongly to the snake demon's presence in the Dark wizard. And why shouldn't he hurt the stupid wizard? He was just a man, after all. Not even a shinobi.

This time it was Naruto's turn to attack. He crouched and slammed his hand on the ground, sending his demon chakra into the ground like an extended arm. It came up right where Voldemort stood, engulfing him whole.

But sadly instead of a well-toasted human Voldemort came out alive, his personal shield still glowing from the fierce attack. He smirked now, savoring the stumped look on Naruto's face.

"I tire of this circus. Come."

Naruto bared his elongated incisors at the man. He thought he could give him, the future Hokage, an order?

Belatedly he realized that the order wasn't aimed at him.

Sasuke stepped forward with a scowl on his face, but he obeyed nonetheless. Naruto saw from his stiff posture that he fought the wizard every step of the way, but in this case the demon-human powers were stronger than those of the Sharingan.

"Subdue him."

That order was aimed at his masked servants. Naruto dove to the ground to avoid the first barrage of spells, but the combined power of three spells which hit him in the back the next second was enough to break through his layer of protective demon chakra and enter his body.

Darkness claimed him.


	18. The graveyard part 3

**A/N: **I've gotten some reviews complaining that I'm downgrading Naruto's and Sasuke's abilities in the last two chapters. I'll explain my view at the end of the chapter, because it got LONG. For now, enjoy this chapter, and hopefully this makes it up somewhat =)

* * *

Naruto blinked once, twice, trying to make sense of the smattering of voices around him. It hurt to move, breathe, or even think. If it was broad daylight, he'd be hugging a headache. But the night was as dark as the heat death of the universe and the masks looking down at him gleamed by magical torchlight.

"Excellent. You, go stand over there."

Voldemort's voice made it all come back, and Naruto sat up, ready to spring back into action. But the damned enchanted ropes were back. This time they only bound his wrists and feet. Naruto fell over sideways when he tried to stand up, still dizzy from the multitude of spells which had disabled him. He had always thought himself impenetrable when surrounded by demon chakra, but this magical world still had a few surprises in stock.

Blue shoes, spattered with mud and grass, walked past him. Very familiar shoes.

"Sasuke!" yelled Naruto, but Sasuke didn't respond. Naruto looked over at Voldemort, who directed the shinobi with his wand. So he was still under Voldemort's spell. Sasuke had acquired a nosebleed and trembled all over, but kept on walking to the desired spot.

"You bastard! I'll never forgive you!"

If Voldemort had any sense, he'd give up right now. Not many people whom Naruto had screamed those words at survived. But the Dark wizard only laughed and gestured for two of his servants to drag the shinobi to a clear patch of grass. Voldemort directed his wand back at Sasuke while his order got carried out.

"What are your names?"

A second trickle of blood appeared, dripping down Sasuke's nose.

"I'm Uchiha Sasuke. That is Uzumaki Naruto," said Sasuke in a bland tone, raising his voice to get over Naruto's screams and curses and promises of eternal pain (and the occasional cry of pain when his struggling kicks connected to a lackey's shin).

"Excellent," said Voldemort. He whirled around and walked over to the patch of grass where the servants dumped a hard-breathing Naruto. The servants had subjected him to the Cruciatus-curse for a few seconds to repay for the damage he had dealt out.

"You have cost me my ultimate victory," snarled Voldemort. "Harry Potter will warn the foolish headmaster of my return, and I will have to act quickly to overcome this ... obstacle. Usually I'd punish you and your friend until you'd beg for death, but I don't have any time to spare."

"You're making a big mistake," said Naruto in between clenched teeth. The after-effects of the Cruciatus-curse hurt, like his bones got replaced by barbed wire. "You're mad if you think you can absorb this demon."

Voldemort bent down and lovingly whispered "Crucio". Naruto bit on his tongue to keep himself from screaming when the barbed wire was back, slicing into his flesh like so many kunai in his lifetime. Voldemort let the spell only last a few seconds, but it was enough to set Naruto back on the heavy-breathing track.

"I have powers, boy, which you can only dream of. I have already absorbed one demon. But why stop at one? Seven is the _magical_ number, or perhaps ten, to complete my collection."

Naruto couldn't help but snort at that. Voldemort proved himself to be a prime Akatsuki-candidate, but that organization wouldn't be pleased if they found out some wizard had stolen one of 'their' demons. One of the _real_ ones, not a zero-tail.

"You have no idea," said Naruto. "A zero-tail, anyone can do that. But Kyuubi... Big mistake."

Not if Kyuubi's angry howling and growling inside his cage was any indication. As long as he was sealed, the demon would still remain intact. But if Kyuubi got absorbed, he'd perish. Unless somebody killed the Dark, as evidently the snake demon had reformed. The chances of that happening twice were slim, however. So Kyuubi growled and howled, trying to influence the situation. It deafened Naruto from the inside. The sound was ... comforting. He had lost Sasuke, but Naruto still wasn't alone. Never had been.

"We shall see," said Voldemort. He straightened and began carving up the grass at Naruto's feet with precise spells. He drew complicated runes and geometrical shapes, binding them together and creating a connection from Naruto to Sasuke's spot.

Naruto kept fidgeting, straining the ropes and wracking his brain for a way out. Kyuubi suggested blasting everything apart and exposing Voldemort's jugular to the air using Naruto's bare teeth. Naruto dismissed that suggestion and continued struggling. The carving spells came dangerously close. If he moved too much he might lose an arm or a leg (or worse). But the ropes were as tight as before, and the servants had paid enough attention to his fighting style that they had bound his hands away from each other, disabling him from forming seals.

There was depressingly little he could do. And even if he somehow managed to get up and let the ropes disappear: there were a dozen men pointing their wands at his face, waiting for an excuse to strike him down.

One thing left to try.

"Oi, Sasuke! Snap out of it, you deadlast! Use those damned red eyes of yours for something useful!" yelled Naruto at the walking freezer, AKA Sasuke. But as usual, the guy kept his face cold and his emotions bottled up inside, even when under the wizard's spell.

"You can do it, I've seen you defeat far stronger guys than this one!"

A twitch. Progress.

"You still have to beat your brother! This wizard is another Orochimaru!"

Naruto pushed every button he could think of, desperate for a reaction. Or, preferably, Sasuke snapping out Voldemort's Imperius-curse. Sasuke had been able to snap out of Moody's spell, but Naruto feared that this Dark wizard was far more proficient with it than should be allowed.

"Stop doing-"

Naruto felt his mouth form the words, but he had gone deaf. No, wait, no sound came from his lips. He must have had a look of utter confusion on his face, because Voldemort chuckled softly.

"A Silencing charm, boy, because I tire of your futile screams. I know shinobi must be largely unaware of the power of magic, but I do hope you at least know what a _charm_ is."

Naruto let his glare speak for itself and resisted the urge to stick out his tongue. Defiant to the last possible moment, as usual. But this wouldn't be the end. Naruto wouldn't let that happen.

"Now that everything's in place: any last words? No?"

Chuckles from his servants answered Voldemort's rhetorical question. The Dark wizard gestured for his men to clear the area. Naruto surmised the man had lost enough servants to the shinobi already, even though it seemed the medical wizard was a master of healing spells. Servants Naruto had seen catch on fire and rolling on the ground stood in the circle, their skin free of burns.

Voldemort's chanting drew Naruto's attention back to the Dark wizard. He stood twenty feet away, with his wand out, drawing runes in the air. The shinobi and the wizard formed a loose triangle, with runes carved into the ground connecting all three of them. The runes went through Sasuke's corner on to Voldemort's. Naruto thought he saw some familiar characters from his language, something about 'purifying' and 'sacrifice'. But most of the runes were gobbledygook to him.

And the idiot had misspelt Sasuke's family name. Now it read 'Uchiwa', also a type of fan, but not Sasuke's type. And Naruto's name was written in hiragana instead of the usual katakana. Naruto fiercely hoped that that would be enough to let the spell backlash, but he feared that it wouldn't.

An unpleasant tug at his navel drew him back to the chanting. The demon chakra slowly got drawn to the surface, but this time not by his own doing. His seal had to glow a fiery red by now, and gradually the demon chakra once again engulfed him. The process was much slower, so Naruto felt his teeth elongating and claws forming on his hands. He tried to squash the chakra, keeping it all in. But Voldemort's spell was cleverly constructed. When Naruto tried to form a rough hand seal to help him guide the chakra, he got zapped by some sort of electric charge from the runes carved in the ground. Any attempt to focus and direct the chakra resulted in a zap, concluded Naruto after fruitlessly trying six more times.

The familiar burning sensation was horrible to endure at this rate. It crept through his body at a snail's pace instead of grandly sweeping in like a party crasher at a wedding, and without Naruto being able to focus on directing the flow it shot out on all sides like solar flares.

But at least Naruto could once again make a sound. The demon chakra had blown away the Silencing Charm, so Naruto gave diplomacy one more try.

"Hey, baldface!" he screamed, and accidentally bit his lip with his fangs, but ignored the pang of pain. "This is a bad idea! You've got no idea what you're dealing with! So Sasuke, wake up and let's kill this bozo right now!"

Voldemort's kept on chanting, and Sasuke's vacant look remained. Damn.

Naruto sensed that the chakra had coagulated into a rough first tail, and the second was on its way. The edges of the world became sharper as his eyes took on their red hue and it hurt to look at the bright flashes streaming from Voldemort's wand. The spell siphoned off some demon chakra, but apparently Voldemort hadn't counted on this much.

Naruto laughed at the frown on Voldemort's face. The Dark wizard kept on chanting, but an urgency entered his voice that hadn't been there before.

The raging demon chakra gave Naruto an idea. He had control up to the fourth tail, and with his two-tailed form he already gave off more chakra than Voldemort had calculated. The spell took some chakra, but not enough to harm Sasuke. Cedric hadn't been used to a large amount of chakra running through him, but Sasuke would last longer, Naruto hoped. His own body had long since adapted to the demon chakra, but to a normal human body it could do a lot of damage, even to a trained shinobi's.

Naruto's idea was brilliant in its simplicity. He merely had to use the power Voldemort had unlocked for him. He had to time his plan right. Too long, and Sasuke would die or at least he would never be able to use chakra again. Too short, and Naruto wouldn't be able to break free and use the element of surprise.

Perfect. It had to be perfect.

Damn, he could use Sakura's advice (and timing) right about now.

Despite the burning chakra, despite the flashes and noises and pain hurling themselves around in the air and inside him, Naruto tried to calm himself. He needed to feel the spell, without focusing too much on it. He needed to whistle innocently and look at it in his peripheral vision, and then, when the time was right, use the overhead of his demon chakra to break the spell and fry Voldemort.

Naruto closed his eyes to block out the too-sharp world. He couldn't cover his ears, but he let the shouts and rushing wind blend into one background tone, which he then pushed to the back of his mind. He clawed at his own blue chakra, taking solace in the fact that it was still there, untainted. It drew his mind from the hot demon chakra wrecking havoc on his body.

The third tail formed. Voldemort would keep on drawing it out till the ninth tail, but Naruto's sanity would be long gone by then.

Right, the spell. It was like a whisper in his ear amidst a carnival parade. He sensed it like he sensed other things which contained chakra. The enchanted earth told Naruto of the specifics of the spell, how Voldemort had set it all up. The glowing runes hanging in the air whirled their meanings, and Naruto picked it up. Together they formed the spell, and when Naruto opened his eyes, he was ready. He had found a way to break it, because Voldemort hadn't counted on one thing: the raw power of a determined jinchuuriki.

Naruto searched for the Dark wizard and found him amidst golden-red energy. He was absorbing the chakra, and the smirk had returned to his face. It looked like he was on a power trip. Good. Naruto knew how to use that adrenalin rush to turn the tables.

The next thing Naruto laid eyes on was Sasuke. His teammate also glowed with demon chakra, but the harmful side effects got transferred to him. His eyes were red, but not his Sharingan-red. He had the eyes of a cat, and the claws of a tiger. Naruto's own claws were baby claws in comparison, and the sight of a demon Sasuke frankly scared Naruto. He had always associated Sasuke with blue, and seeing him decked out in red looked ... wrong.

The chakra Naruto put out was creating a crater, distorting the runes carved in the ground. He neared the fourth tail. He had to act before he transformed, because he didn't know if his mind would survive the agonizing slow transition.

Two more inches and another rune would get distorted. This one Naruto could read, and it was a crucial rune: control. He didn't know what exactly it controlled, but it looked important. One more inch.

Naruto felt a sliver of his skin peel away as he hovered on the edge of the fourth tail. He had to hold it back somehow. His control over that form was slippery at best, and he couldn't afford to be controlled by animal instinct. He had to execute his plan.

Half an inch.

A second sliver tore itself loose and ignited in the burning chakra. It started to hurt, and he was surprised that his clothes hadn't caught fire yet. That would be just his luck.

There! The crater had reached the rune and the edge was smudged. It'd have to do.

Naruto used one of the most basic jutsu to escape from the disenchanted ropes. It was laughable how easy it was now that his chakra had burnt away the binding spell. The first thing he did was clasp his hands together in a focusing hand seal to regain control of Kyuubi's chakra. The zapping spell was still present, but he gnashed his teeth together as he endured the zaps. It stung like being hit with one of Sasuke's lightning attacks, but he was at last able to focus, thanks to his hand seals.

He used every trick and technique he had ever learned to tame the flaring chakra. Too slowly to his liking the licking flames receded and focused inside, forming a neat three-tailed aura around Naruto. Only when he no longer felt slivers of skin getting peeled off did he dare release the seal and look up. Voldemort's spell still drained his chakra, but it felt more like a gentle shove than a flying tackle.

He looked straight into Voldemort's eyes and smiled a shit-eating grin with his fangs bared. The Dark wizard looked panicked, but still with a frown on his face.

Oh, Naruto was going to enjoy this. That man had nothing going for him. He had murdered an innocent guy. He was like the villain in a book, pure evil. Oh, Naruto had heard the stories of those dark times in the wizarding world. This man had terrorized an entire country, perhaps even the entire continent. Naruto had come across men like him before, and he would do everything in his power to stop another one's rise to terror.

Luckily, Naruto posessed a lot of power.

* * *

Some crowning moments of awesome can't be measured, they were too awesome. Naruto had done his fair share of rooting for the underdog in front of the TV, especially when the hero beats the bad guy to the tune of epic music. All of those crowning moments have some things in common: the comeback of the hero. In a visual medium, this was usually accompanied by a dramatic shot of the hero doing something awesome with epic victorious music in the background.

But Naruto had yet to read a book which could capture that feeling. Not that he read a lot of fiction, else he'd know that there certainly were some moments of awesome to be found in books. But still, those moments are harder to capture than in movies.

So here are the facts: It was 10.51 PM on June 21, and Naruto crouched twenty feet from Voldemort's position. He was currently burning 500 calories per hour trying to control the demon chakra. The masked men stood in a circle with a diameter of twelve feet, all with their wands poised to fire. Sasuke had thirteen minutes of life left if the range of transfer remained the same, and he had two working smoke bombs left in a tiny pouch sewn into his waistband.

Naruto moved at the inhuman speed of 30 miles per hour and the punch in Voldemort's face had a force of twelve *newtonian* behind it. A fourth of the force got diverted be Voldemort's personal shield, but that only meant that three fourth still hit the Dark wizard.

The man flew fifteen feet and crash-landed at the feet of two of his henchmen. They gaped at their master as he scrambled to his feet.

Naruto didn't let him recover. He followed up his first assault with a second one, using his demon chakra. The searing chakra extension of his hand scorched the ground and hit Voldemort full on, singeing his robes and once again throwing him into the air.

All this happened in a few seconds, but then the masked men recovered from the sudden movement. Naruto ducked and covered, and he did that not a moment too soon. Red jets of light flew over his head and two geniuses managed to hit each other with their spells.

Someone should teach bad guys to stop standing in a circle, thought Naruto. If you missed your foe, your comrade got the blast instead. Luckily for him these guys hadn't followed Evil Overlord Henchmen 101.

Naruto had one attack in his arsenal that would blow these guys out of the water. Or bowl them over, whatever worked. He drew his demon chakra in, let the pressure build up, and then quickly sent it outwards. The effect created a heated gust of air, strong enough to uproot an old oak tree. The poor oak tree toppled over and started its creaking descent towards earth. The humans indeed got bowled over, some of them flying several feet.

"Think you're winning, boy?" sneered Voldemort. Grass and mud stains marred his ruined robes, but he had a murderous look on his face. He pointed his wand at Sasuke and Naruto felt the blood drain from his face. There was no way he would get to Sasuke before the Dark wizard fired whatever spell he had in store. Sasuke was still under the Imperius-curse, watching the spectacle with a lazy, utterly un-Sasuke-like smile on his face.

"Let's see how you like fighting your own friend," said Voldemort.

Naruto suppressed the urge to laugh at the man. Was he serious? He fought Sasuke yesterday! And he had fought to kill (at least, Sasuke had) at the waterfall. What did this guy think, that because Sasuke was his teammate that he wouldn't punch him in the face? It was a rare day when they didn't fight, verbally or otherwise. They were shinobi. Fighting was their way of life.

"Hold your spells!" commanded Voldemort, and the jets of red light stopped.

"And enjoy the show," said Voldemort as Sasuke lurched forward. His movements were choppy, like a puppet controlled by an unskilled master. When his eyes focused on Naruto, he saw that they swirled with the Sharingan. At his current state he was no match for Naruto in his full-blown three-tailed Kyuubi form, any shinobi could tell. But these guys were wizards. All Voldemort thought about was letting one friend battle the other. He'd most likely expect Naruto to only defend, pleading for Voldemort to lift the curse, or for Sasuke to come to his senses.

Naruto felt pretty sure Voldemort didn't expect him to jump up, barrel through the gap the servants left for him and backhand Sasuke across the face. Sasuke stumbled back, one hand unconsciously cradling the sore spot. His maddening smile stayed, and he went on the counterattack.

To a wizard, the fight looked evenly-matched, smooth and fast, so fast. To the shinobi, this was little more than a mock-fight. Sasuke's attacks weren't stringed together and he muddled through the kata like a freshly promoted Genin. Naruto only defended the most obvious blows, letting the harmless ones bounce off his trained body. He rained glancing strikes on Sasuke, making sure to keep his teammate in close combat. He didn't trust him to perform a jutsu in this state of mind. Chidori could backfire ugly if not properly contained.

When Naruto had drawn Sasuke away far enough from the wizards, he landed a double-fisted blow to Sasuke's stomach, momentarily forcing Sasuke to recuperate. He crouched next to his teammate and made an one-handed focus seal. He whispered "kai" and ran some of his demon chakra through Sasuke, effectively lifting the Imperius-curse.

Sasuke blinked and Naruto forced himself not to sag in relief when he saw recognition dawn amidst the tomoes of the Sharingan.

"Pretend like we're fighting," instructed Naruto hurriedly in a soft voice, and said out loud: "Don't you recognize me? It's me! Naruto!"

Naruto took Sasuke's shoulders and shook him, but he got a slap in his face as a response.

"Status?" asked Sasuke as he got up and they started trading soft blows.

"You have to smile," said Naruto. To his credit, Sasuke lifted the corners of his mouth without asking why. They started a ridiculously complicated jump-kick-hit-dance which looked amazing, but its main purpose was to create enough noise for them to have a low-key conversation.

"Voldemort had you under Imperius. He tried to extract Kyuubi, but I broke the spell."

"He ran the demon chakra through me, like with the champion?"

Naruto nodded. Sasuke still looked demonly, with his fangs and claws. The false redness in his eyes had made way for the true Sharingan-red. Naruto noticed Sasuke looked exhausted. He panted as if he had run all the way from Suna, and even now his movements were sloppy. They needed to get out of here before Sasuke moved too slow and got struck by a killing curse. But before they could go there was one thing Naruto had to do.

"I'll create shockwave, you kill Voldemort," he instructed, but Sasuke shook his head.

"No weapons, can't do Chidori. You make shockwave, I'll distract him, you kill him."

The demon fox inside Naruto agreed with Sasuke's plan. The Dark wizard had to bleed to make up for the dishonor and mockery inflicted upon the shinobi. Naruto was inclined to agree with the fox, and he nodded a tad too soon.

"Count to three," said Naruto, and began drawing in his chakra.

"One."

They maneuvered to the optimal position to bowl everyone over once again, sparring all the while. Naruto dared to glance in Voldemort's direction. The Dark wizard scowled at the pair. Naruto knew that they didn't have a lot of time before he ordered Sasuke to stand down to take matters into his own hands.

"Two."

Voldemort apparently hadn't noticed the broken Imperius connection, or maybe he couldn't sense things like that, Naruto had no idea. At any rate, the man was going down, Kyuubi and his own honor demanded it.

"Three!"

With all his considerable force Naruto pushed his chakra outwards, taking the wizards by surprise. Sasuke rode the shockwave to gain momentum and threw his smoke bombs at Voldemort's feet. He jumped out of the way. Naruto couldn't see Voldemort's outline anymore, but it didn't matter, he knew where the man stood. Naruto took advantage of the distraction to form a swirling red Rasengan, and he raced towards Voldemort. His heart pounded, and all he heard was the rushing of the wind. Would this work?

With a cry he thrust his hand forward and felt it connect with something. He pushed the massive ball of chakra forward and heard something crack as splatters of blood sprayed around. Naruto prayed that he hadn't accidentally hit Sasuke, but when the smoke dispersed he knew that he had hit bullseye.

Voldemort stared down at the shinobi, his eyes still widened in surprise. The raging Rasengan had hit him in the chest, and blood poured from the wound. Naruto knew that it was over for the Dark wizard. No healer could repair that kind of damage, not when the heart was torn to shreds.

Voldemort didn't utter a word as he slumped to the ground, sliding free from Naruto's hand with a sickening slurp.

Finally, it was over. No speeches, promises of pain or vengeance. Voldemort was simply dead.

Naruto drew in a deep breath and slowly released it. That was all the reprieve he got, because the next second the night was once again set ablaze by a variety of spells. Sasuke tackled Naruto just in time to avoid a jet of ominous green light, and Naruto heard Sasuke's flesh sizzle as he came in contact with the demon chakra. Sasuke didn't even blink at the pain.

"Nice job," he conceded, and then focused on the other enemies still out there. "We need to go. Clones."

Naruto scraped the bottom of his chakra barrel and came up with thirty more clones, popping into existence all over the place.

Before they escaped, Naruto looked back one more time at the fallen wizard to confirm the kill. But the snake-man still lay there, looking surprised. Naruto briefly wondered what would happen to the demon he had merged with, but then his attention got drawn back to the angry masked men. Naruto didn't want to stick around when they found out that he had effectively killed their leader. Enough time had passed for him to be brain dead, or at the least permanently brain damaged.

Sasuke started his frog-like hopping under the cover of clones, and Naruto followed in his footsteps. His demon aura lit the way, and half a minute later they had left the site far behind. None of the masked men had tried to stop them, all were too busy dealing with the clones. Nobody Apparated in front of them like before.

Though it probably wasn't a smart idea, they paused briefly in a treetop. Sasuke had to catch his breath and Naruto took the opportunity to center himself. Killing a man was never fun, no matter how much he deserved it. And according to Kyuubi, the man deserved it eight times over. Naruto didn't question why exactly eight. Kyuubi had funky logic.

At the graveyard behind them something exploded, and a wall of chakra passed by them, throwing killing intent everywhere. It appeared that the snake demon wasn't dead and had freed itself from Voldemort's body once again. Or Voldemort had risen somehow and now poured his all into finding the shinobi and making them pay.

At any rate, their fight was done. Sasuke was close to the point of dropping out of the tree from chakra exhaustion and Naruto needed a minute or twenty to control the demon chakra. Voldemort's spell had done something to him, but he wasn't sure what yet.

"Summon Gamakichi," commanded Sasuke. Naruto looked at him for a few seconds before the words sunk in.

"Right, right. Gamakichi."

His hands felt heavy as he bit his thumb, performed the necessary seals and slammed his hand onto the thick branch of the oak tree.

"Kuchiyose no jutsu," he murmured softly, and with a lot of smoke Gamakichi crashed on the ground below.

"Idiot! Why the hell did you summon me in a treetop?"

Naruto blinked at the spot where Gamakichi was seconds ago. The thick branch had given away under that much toad meat, depositing him on the forest floor. Gamakichi attempted to straighten his robe and finally took a good look at the shinobi.

"_There_ you are. I've been looking all over. Glad you're alive, you look like you could use a transport back to civilization. Or what passes for it at that school," he said. Naruto nodded at the toad.

"Hell yes, before those cronies come after us."

Naruto pointed over his shoulder with his thumb to indicate the masked men. The shinobi jumped down and once again took hold of Gamakichi's jacket. Naruto tried to keep contact light to not burn Gamakichi's skin.

"Try not to throw up on me," he said before Naruto once again got pulled in every direction.

He vowed this was the last time he'd use this type of transportation.

Ever.

* * *

**A/N: **First of all I'd like to thank everybody who reviewed. I really appreciate the feedback and it made me think about why I wrote what I wrote. All throughout the story I've tried to keep the characters as much in-character while still placing them in a world with other rules. But now that the two sets of rules are clashing, I've chosen a path not everybody agrees with.

The way I see it, chakra is not necessarily stronger than magic. I've hinted at it before, but I think that magic is a form of what Naruto-canon calls 'nature chakra'. The wizards / witches draw upon the magic in the air, not inside their bodies. This doesn't necessarily mean that it's weaker than chakra, because as Naruto-canon shows, nature chakra is the new Super Saiyan. So spells can hurt shinobi.

As for their speed: in a graveyard, they can't achieve their usual speed like they did at the Valley of the End. There they had endless expanse of water and rock to run. I don't know what graveyards in other countries look like, apart from some general impressions, but where I live they're jam-packed with trees and fences and headstones, statues and flower vases. You can't turn around without stepping onto a grave. There's simply no room for them to achieve any sort of eye-blurring speed.

This is the way I imagine a graveyard, but it seems other people have other mental pictures of graveyards. I guess this cultural misunderstanding is the source, but please tell me if I've got that all wrong.

Secondly, there are about thirty Death Eaters in the vicinity. A spell takes about two seconds to pronounce, less if the Death Eater is skilled enough to use non-verbal spells. That means that there are at least nine hundred spells per minute flung about if the Death Eaters focus their attacks. I imagine a spell travels at the speed of sound since pronunciation is essential in spellcasting, but unless Naruto and Sasuke grow blue fur and go nuts for rings, they can't move that fast. Hence they are more cautious in their approach, because some spells are lethal. They can't risk getting hit. In the course of the series they get hit by kunai. A lot. And those move significantly slower than the speed of sound, yet they're too slow to get out of the way. So yes, they get hit. And hurt.

Thirdly, they're not ANBU, like some readers seem to think. In chapter 2 I've had Naruto and Sasuke state their rank: chuunin.

Fourth issue: Genjutsu, like Sasuke's Sharingan, is fooling the victim into believing something is real. Sasuke's trained in that, granted. But Voldemort's Imperio is more like the mind-control jutsu Ino employs. I've rooted through my sources, but I can't recall Sasuke ever getting any training in that. The closes I can come up with is the Orochimaru vs. Sasuke fight in Shippuden. In that fight they make a lot of references to the Sharingan, leading me to believe this was a purely genjutsu-powered fight. So no Imperio-like mind control there. So: yes, I think Sasuke can be controlled, at least for the short while it took Voldemort to set up the curse. Eventually he would've broken free, but not in the four or so minutes he was under the spell.

Also: remember that they've never fought Dark Wizards before. With Shinobi, they at least know what to expect/ With wizards: who knows what kind of tricks they pull, what tactics they use. And there are hostages, for at least part of the fight, so the shinobi have to make sure the Dark wizards don't kill the hostages. So they can't go all out on landscaping expeditions.

Are they weaker? In short: yes, a bit. Perhaps the hints I've sprinkled around are too subtle, but Naruto has only trained with Jiraiya for six months (chapter 13, the part where Gamakichi makes an appearance), meaning he's got lesser techniques and lesser tactics. He's stayed on with Team 7, but Kakashi is not exactly the best guy to learn from, in my opinion. In canon Naruto learnt new techniques to catch up to Sasuke's rumored strength, but with Sasuke right by his side he's got less of a drive. Yes, he's still driven to become Hokage, but the motivation to catch up to Sasuke to drag his ass back to Konoha is gone. As for Sasuke: his skills improved when he left Konoha, but as made clear: he never left. So he too lacks some skills which are used in canon.

And finally the seventh issue: Can Naruto go down once he's got the demon cloak? I don't see why not. He's got one tail - Sasuke managed to pierce that with his Chidori alright, I'd say. Magic isn't inherently inferior to chakra, so if three Stupefy-spells to the chest are enough to almost kill McGonagall, as shown in book six, I'd say that at least twelve spells are enough to knock Naruto unconscious.

So, all in all, I hope this clears things up a bit. I'm going to try to make all this more obvious in the previous chapters so there's less of a knee-jerk reaction to this part. Thank you for the feedback. We cool?


	19. Breaking the spell

**A/N:** If I haven't responded to your review yet, sit tight =) For now: enjoy this chapter.

* * *

The smell gave it away. They were back at the start of the maze.

Gamakichi had chosen to follow the beaten path and had transported them to the spot where he had deposited Harry Potter earlier. The heavy smell of upturned grass and dark hedges hung in the cool air of a June evening.

Sadly, there were still a lot of people at that spot, so Naruto and Sasuke couldn't throw up in peace.

"Never, ever," muttered Naruto as he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. Sasuke could hazard a guess what Naruto referred to.

By the time they were done every pair of eyes in the vicinity stared at them in shock. Sasuke glanced over to his teammate and saw him with their eyes. Naruto was still ablaze with demon chakra, complete with red eyes, three tails, claws, fangs and thick whiskers. He must look threatening to the student body, and Sasuke wasn't looking like an angel himself either. His tongue had encountered the fangs and the claws had been useful to get a good grip on Gamakichi's jacket. He didn't want to imagine what his eyes looked like. He let the Sharingan recede and heaved a deep sigh before straightening.

"Get Dumbledore!" cried someone. Some of the others drew their wands, while some of them could only stare.

"Not your enemy," said Sasuke, but the wands stayed pointed in their direction.

"Don't move!" ordered Snape. Sasuke didn't make any sudden moves and he hoped that Naruto wouldn't do either.

"What is he?" heard Sasuke one of the students say, and he was sure that others echoed that sentiment. For a wizard, seeing someone alight with chakra must be something unique. To Sasuke, with his Sharingan, it was a daily occurrence.

"Thanks, Gamakichi," said Naruto as he too straightened. The students took a collective step back as his red eyes roved over the loose circle around the shinobi.

"No problem, Naruto. Need me to stay?"

Naruto shook his head. "Nah, we can handle it from here. Thanks again, talk to you later."

Gamakichi threw Naruto a salute and disappeared in smoke, making the students gasp.

"Are you ... alright?" asked one of the students carefully, and Naruto shook his head. Sasuke didn't react to the question. Of course they weren't alright, any idiot could see that. They were burned and blistered and covered in mud and sweat and blood. All he wanted was peace, rest, quiet, and perhaps some healing spells from Madam Pomfrey.

"I must ... think," said Naruto slowly in English. Talking in his native tongue all evening the made the switch back to English harder. Especially with Kyuubi influencing his mind, combined with the exhaustion. Sasuke was impressed Naruto even remembered that he knew a second language, let alone form a coherent sentence in it.

"Need to think to control chakra, need to ... do hand-things. Please don't kill me. Else fourth tail ... beast, pain-"

Well, coherency was overrated.

"He's trying to say," interrupted Sasuke as he walked over to stand next to Naruto, "he has to focus to keep his chakra controlled. So don't kill him because he moves."

Naruto looked gratefully at Sasuke and immediately formed a one-handed focus seal. He let his hand hover an inch from his nose, bowed his head and closed his eyes.

"What happened?" asked a student hidden behind his fellow students.

"Indeed, mr. McCoy. What happened?" repeated a familiar voice behind Sasuke. He turned around and came face to face with Dumbledore. The man didn't look as benign now, with a grim face and exuding power.

Sasuke tried to sort his thoughts and form an answer, but it was hard with the exhaustion beating his brains into mush. So much had happened, but one fact stood out the most.

"Naruto killed Voldemort," he said in English.

"I think," added Naruto in his native tongue, still with his eyes closed. "He could come back."

The students uttered a collective surprised noise and began talking (and screaming) amongst themselves. The panic started by Cedric's body was painfully obvious, and a Kyuubi-enhanced Naruto didn't make the scene any better.

"Are you hurt?" asked Dumbledore, and both shinobi shook their heads. Sasuke felt the pain of the spells that had hit him, but he was only exhausted, not hurt. At least, not by his standards. He had sustained some burns, but he had already determined that they were first degree only. Sasuke heard the department heads call out instructions to the students to head back inside the castle, but none of them listened. Their pink faces all started to blur together when Sasuke felt his eyes go in and out of focus. That was never a good sign.

"Sasuke," said Naruto urgently. Sasuke felt his legs quiver when he turned to Naruto, but apparently Naruto thought it took him too long, so he said louder: "Sasuke!"

"What?" snapped Sasuke. Any second now he would collapse in front of the entire student body, and he didn't know if his dignity could take a blow like that.

"Kyuubi's chakra... I can't control it!"

Well, crap.

"What the hell do you mean?" asked Sasuke before Dumbledore did (though he'd likely ask in a more civilized way). Naruto looked up from his focus-stance and fixed his red eyes on Sasuke.

"Voldemort's spell did something to me, to the seal. Kyuubi's chakra isn't growing, I think, but I can't disperse it either. It's as if it's constantly getting mixed with my own, and I can't separate it like usual."

At least thirty questions sprang into Sasuke's mind, but he had to prioritize. "Are you gaining more tails?"

Naruto shook his head. That was at least a relief. Sasuke didn't want any four (or nine)-tailed beasts rampaging around.

"Is the chakra hurting you?"

A shrug. "It stings, but not more so than usual."

Which meant that Naruto was burning away life. They'd have to act fast if he ever wanted to live past fifty. Not that that happened often in their profession, but still. There was one last important question to ask.

"Naruto, is your seal still intact?"

Naruto quickly lifted up the remnants of his jacket and t-shirt to peek at his seal. The lines were bright red, but they were still uninterrupted and smooth. No tampering à la Orochimaru. So why couldn't Naruto control Kyuubi's chakra?

Sasuke felt the adrenaline wearing off. He swayed on his feet and thinking got harder and harder. He recognized it as chakra exhaustion. But he wasn't done yet, he had to help Naruto. Sasuke didn't know a lot about seals, but he was sure he knew more than the wizards.

"Sasuke?" asked Naruto tentatively, and Sasuke chose that moment to sit down. Actually he fell down, but he tried to make it look like he did it on purpose. The cold ground didn't shock him alert like he had hoped, but the advantage was that he didn't have to stand anymore.

"Alright, that's enough," interrupted Dumbledore. His air of authority made sure that the students listened to him, something which Sasuke felt grateful for at the moment. There were way too many curious students at this school, and any minute now the questions would come. Questions Sasuke didn't want to answer at the moment (some never).

"Students, return to your dorm rooms. I'll make an announcement tomorrow morning," said Dumbledore. A lot of students protested, but they were silenced by Dumbledore's fierce look. Intimidated the children started to file away, led by their department heads.

"Rubeus, please help me move mr. Crow to the Hospital Wing," requested Dumbledore. "Or should I say 'Sasuke'?"

"I can walk," said Sasuke, and he climbed to his feet. No way he was going to be carried like a helpless child, not when he was a chuunin of Konoha. In this world there were three people he trusted enough to carry him, and Giant Fuzzball wasn't one of them.

"He says he can walk," translated Dumbledore for Hagrid's sake. The giant man looked confused, but Sasuke didn't have the energy to talk in English anymore.

"Mr. Naruto," began Dumbledore, but he seemed unsure how to continue with what he wanted to say. Naruto beat him to the punch.

"I can't draw Kyuubi's chakra back into me, so I remain like this. I need a seal expert, or someone who knows runes. Because Voldemort tried to pull Kyuubi from me and he broke something I guess."

"Are you dangerous at the moment?" asked Dumbledore, and he narrowed his eyes in the way Sasuke recognized as the scrutinous look. Naruto had better not lie at the moment, but if there was one thing Naruto was good at, it was the blunt truth. Preferably brought as bluntly as possible.

"No. If you touch me you'll get burned, but I'm in control."

Dumbledore nodded. "Good. Then I'll take you both to the Hospital Wing."

If Sasuke kept placing one foot in front of the other, things would work out somehow. He simply had to follow Dumbledore back past the lake, scaring the students they passed. Naruto's footsteps sometimes cracked the earth beneath his feet whenever a surge of chakra passed through him. Sasuke's instincts screamed at him to run away from the demon at his back, he was defenseless at the moment and Naruto could kill him with one swipe.

But he was too tired, so he kept his head bowed and tried to balance the few drops of chakra he had left so he didn't faint on the stairs and died a ungraceful death. Naruto's chakra felt jumpy, and when Sasuke glanced back a few times he noticed Naruto had to force himself to walk upright instead of sprinting off on all fours to chase a shiny.

He felt like he was forgetting something, something important. He wracked his brains as to what, but soon his attention turned back to placing one foot in front of the other.

The scenery of wide open landscape made way to the inside of the castle, and they had to climb the stairs to the Hospital Wing, something which took Sasuke three times as long as it should have. He expected Hagrid to grab him and carry him any moment now, but the giant man kept his distance at the rear of the line.

Finally the old oak door opened and admitted them to the spacious Hospital Wing. At the other end of the room a group of people were gathered around a bed and a pale-looking professor Moody lay in a bed, but the room was otherwise empty.

Sasuke headed for a bed and sat down on it heavily, not caring that he transferred the accumulated grime on his body onto the crisp white sheets. It was tempting to fall back and close his eyes, but he couldn't do that yet. He still needed to help Naruto, who leaned awkwardly against the wall. Sasuke heard a few people gasp, and madam Pomfrey hurried towards them.

"What do they need?" Madam Pomfrey directed her question at Dumbledore while eyeing Naruto and his flaming aura. If Sasuke wasn't so tired, he'd smirk at the baffled look on the woman's face.

"An energy potion and some burn salve," instructed Dumbledore. The nurse immediately set off to her office while Dumbledore turned to Hagrid.

"Please fetch miss Babbling. I imagine she's in the Hufflepuff dorm room by now."

Hagrid nodded, threw Naruto one last uncertain look and left.

"How are you holding up, mr. Naruto?" Asked Dumbledore. Naruto shrugged as he leaned back against the wall.

"I'll survive. Miss Babbling is the Ancient Runes teacher, right?"

"Yes. I think she can help with your current problem. She's an expert on runes, and combined with your knowledge of seals we can solve this."

The old man sounded so sure when he said that that Sasuke almost believed him.

"Why not send for Ji- your _other_ sensei?" he asked in a monotone. Naruto shrugged again.

"Ero-sennin is busy with his _network_. Imagine Gamakichi popping up out of nowhere."

Sasuke imagined the various spying missions and other delicate stealth missions he had been on, and mentally added a huge toad dropping in. Yeah, the end results wouldn't be pretty.

"Here, drink this."

Madam Pomfrey held out a large cup of swirling purple liquid which didn't look the least bit appetizing. At Sasuke's hesitation, she pushed the cup in his hands.

"It's an Invigoration Draught, it's not poison. Go on."

She tried to hand a second cup to Naruto, but he refused to take it.

"Put it down, I'd only burn you," he said, and Dumbledore translated. Madam Pomfrey huffed, but she put it down on the nightstand, where Naruto picked it up and emptied the whole cup. His face scrunched up, but he didn't drop dead, so Sasuke too drank the purple potion. It tasted horrible, but immediately he felt his energy go up a notch, enough to take more notice of his surroundings.

"Sit down, sit down, why are you still standing up?"

Madam Pomfrey badgered Naruto, who tried to come up with excuses, but Dumbledore didn't translate. So Naruto allowed himself to be seated on a chair, and madam Pomfrey left a second cup right next to him on the nightstand. Then she turned her attention back to Sasuke. She fished a container out from one of her pockets and opened it. The burn salve smelled strangely like lilies, but the relief was immediate as the nurse started applying it to Sasuke's burns on his arms and hands.

The Invigoration Draught jogged his memory and he looked Dumbledore in the eye.

"There's a traitor in Hogwarts," he said. Dumbledore nodded slowly, a sad expression on his face.

"We took care of it," he said. "A Death Eater was impersonating Alastor. Nothing you could've prevented," he added when Sasuke frowned. Madam Pomfrey regained Sasuke's attention by standing in front of him to check his face for any burns.

Sasuke let her mutter things about too young to be out fighting, could have been killed, and so on. He'd discuss the traitor with Dumbledore soon enough.

A plump, red-haired woman walked up to Naruto and spontaneously tried to hug him. She pulled back at the last second when she noticed that the aura he was emitting would burn her, but her eyes were full of tears nonetheless.

"Thank you for saving him," she said, and it took Sasuke a second to get who she referred to. He had read that Harry Potter was an orphan, but this woman sure acted like a mother towards him. Usually Sasuke would say something along the line of 'it's our job', but now he only nodded, and Naruto likewise.

Madam Pomfrey pulled out her wand and before Sasuke could defend himself she expertly cut his shirt open, exposing his torso to the world. She leaned down and smoothed the burn salve out over the burns across his chest and side, acquired when he had tackled the Kyuubified Naruto.

"Are you alright?" asked the woman worriedly, but Dumbledore started to escort her back to the group of people.

"They will be, Molly, but they need rest first."

When Sasuke looked over his shoulder he noticed Harry Potter lying in the bed with people surrounding him on all sides. His too-wet eyes were curious, but Sasuke saw the lines of exhaustion on his face. The kid had been through a lot, and Sasuke didn't envy his friends who'd have to nurse him back to health. Sasuke had seen enough genin snap to know that it took a while for this kind of trauma to recede.

With every passing second the Invigorating Draught worked its magic, and Sasuke's mind felt clearer and clearer. When Dumbledore returned, Sasuke was ready for the questions. And the old man looked like he had a lot. With miss Babbling on the way, Dumbledore had a few minutes to ask the most important ones.

"You said you killed Voldemort," asked Dumbledore by way of opening. Naruto nodded.

"Yes, I think I killed him. I used Rasengan on him and he didn't have much of a heart left."

Naruto fidgeted in the chair while he talked. His red eyes darted left and right, ready to take on any perceived assailant. Kyuubi's influence, no doubt.

Dumbledore looked confused at Naruto's attack-name, but he didn't ask any questions about it. Sasuke knew that'd come later on, during the debriefing.

"And he tried to absorb your... tenant?"

Dumbledore was diplomatic, Sasuke had to give him that. Naruto less so.

"Yeah, he tried to use Sasuke as a human sacrifice to pull Kyuubi from me. Luckily I managed to break the spell, but the spell did something to me, so I can't stop mixing Kyuubi's chakra with my own."

"And that's the same as what happened to mister Diggory?"

"Yes," said Sasuke curtly. "Voldemort merged with the zero-tail demon and used Cedric as the sacrifice."

Dumbledore nodded. "Mister Potter told me about that ritual. But frankly: why didn't he succeed with merging with your demon?" directed Dumbledore his question towards Naruto. The shinobi grinned a maniacal grin which showed off his elongated incisors. His grin was so wide he reminded Sasuke of a book he had read in this place, something about a disappearing cat and a rabbit with a clock.

"Because the idiot didn't know how much power I really house, and miscalculated. He only drained a tiny portion of my chakra, so I used the overhead to break the spell-"

Naruto's explanation got cut short be the arrival of Bathilda Babbling. Hagrid didn't appear in the door opening. The brown-haired woman marched over to the bed and stood next to Dumbledore.

"You called for me?"

The Headmaster gestured towards Naruto. "Mr. Naruto here has a problem with some special runes and we need you to take a look at them."

Naruto looked a bit lost, but he got the gist of the conversation. With Kyuubi's influence he seemed to have reverted back to the English level he was at at the start of the year.

"Is he currently dangerous?" asked Babbling.

"No," said Dumbledore, and he continued: "But I'm sure mr. Naruto will be able to answer any questions you have himself."

Babbling flushed at the admonishment but kept her chin up high.

"Can you show me the runes?" she asked, and after a few second hesitation Naruto stood up and lifted the remains of his jacket and shirt up. The seal was still as intact as ever, but something nagged at Sasuke. A lot of runes had been involved in the ritual, his Sharingan had picked up quite a few.

His Sharingan!

If he recreated the runes, perhaps this woman knew how to reverse them and stop his teammate from burning away his life.

Sasuke looked about for a pen and some paper, or even a quill and parchment. But of course, there was none to be found.

"Hey!" he called to the other people in the room, and they looked his way. "Borrow me a pen."

The people looked at each other, but the bushy-haired girl fished a small quill and a piece of parchment from somewhere on her person and walked over to Sasuke.

Babbling looked at Naruto's seal, bending over to take a closer look. Sasuke saw that Naruto was uncomfortable with someone scrutinizing his seal. Usually he didn't like to remind people that he was a Jinchuuriki, but this time he had to endure the attention. And the blazing demon chakra was kind of a give-away.

"Here," said Hermione as she approached Sasuke. With a nod Sasuke took the offered things from her and gauged his chakra coils. If he worked fast he had enough chakra to keep the Sharingan activated long enough to recreate the runes without forcing himself into a chakra-exhaustion induced coma.

"What's the matter with him?" asked Hermione in a low voice, so as not to disturb the babbling professor. The woman muttered things to herself all the time, bending close enough to Naruto's demon chakra to burn the tip of her nose.

Sasuke didn't bother answering the girl's question and uttered a non-committal "hn". The burn salve felt cool in the night air and his shirt was torn to shreds, but he'd endure the cold for now. Naruto put out enough heat, if he wanted to warm up he could stand next to his teammate.

"I draw the runes I saw with the ritual," announced Sasuke out loud. Without bothering to wait for an answer he drew a rough triangle on the parchment, indicating the positions of the subjects of the spell.

"That'd help, thank you," said ms. Babbling. A bit more encouraged, Sasuke activated his Sharingan and accessed his phenomenal bloodline limit to recreate the runes he had seen floating about during the merging of Voldemort with the demon. He heard Hermione gasp when he activated his bloodline limit, but otherwise she stayed quiet.

It had been a while since Sasuke had last written in his language, but the characters still flowed as easily forth from his quill as when he had learnt the characters with his mother. The unfamiliar runes were harder to sketch, but his Sharingan guided his hand and pretty soon he had filled up the tiny piece of parchment. He turned it over and drew another triangle, this time remembering to add the names of the people (and the demon) in it. The Latin alphabet felt unfamiliar to his hand, making the letters come out as nearly unreadable scrawls. But then he ventured back into familiar territory and soon he had filled up the other side as well. In the margins he drew some more runes and finally added the phonetic version of the chant, since he had no idea how to write it.

Hermione had been reading over his shoulder the entire time, and her mouth formed the words as soon as Sasuke drew the runes. Ms Babbling was finally done with inspecting the seal and waited for Sasuke to finish his sketch.

Sasuke added a few more strokes to some of the runes before he handed the piece of parchment over to the teacher while letting the Sharingan recede.

"This was the runes which with Voldemort mergered with the demon."

Sasuke frowned as soon as his brain caught up with the sentence. It was wrong, but with his Sharingan he had depleted what little chakra he had built up with the potion. Apparently the native speakers caught the gist of it, but Naruto was still lost to the whole development.

"What did you draw?" he asked, and Sasuke reached for the cup of Invigorating Draught which Naruto hadn't touched. Sasuke told him in simple words, but he didn't expect Naruto to frown.

"Wait, that's wrong!" he cried, and stumbled through an explanation in English.

"That," he pointed to the parchment, "is becoming demon. The other spell was taking my demon and _then_ becoming demon."

"What d'you mean by 'my' demon?" asked a boy's voice behind Hermione. A few seconds later Ron came into sight, narrowing his eyes into slits.

* * *

"Mr. Weasley, please go back to mr. Potter," said madam Pomfrey. She grabbed the boy by his elbow, but he didn't budge.

" 'My' demon? Did _you_ kill Cedric?"

Ron seemed surprised by his own words, but before Sasuke could open his mouth to sneer at the boy Naruto spoke. His red eyes were narrowed in anger.

"I did _not_ kill Cedric. _We_ did not kill Cedric. Voldemort killed Cedric. I am a Jinchuuriki, but I'm Konoha chuunin too and one of team 7."

Sasuke nor Dumbledore translated, but Ron got the gist of it from the names and the growling tone. Sasuke got up from the hospital bed to interfere if Naruto went for the kill. Ron might have more open-mouth-insert-appendage moments than most guys he knew, but he didn't deserve to die.

Before Naruto took a step forward to take it to the next level Dumbledore stepped in between, raising his hands in a placating gesture.

"Please, let us focus on how to solve this problem. Mr. Weasley, ms. Granger, please return to Harry. I'm sure he needs you. Mr. Sasuke, I advise you to sit down before Madam Pomfrey makes you. Mr. Naruto, what did you mean by 'extracting your demon and then merging with it'?"

Dumbledore's instructions were heeded by most of the people, but Hermione stubbornly stayed. Ron went back to Harry Potter's bed, mumbling all the way.

Naruto stared at Ron until the boy was back at Harry Potter's side before he began to explain in his broken English. Sasuke got distracted from the explanation by madam Pomfrey, who pushed a cup with pastel green liquid in it in his hands.

"It's a Wit-Sharpening potion, which makes you think more clearly."

It was as if the nurse had read his mind. Sasuke felt frustrated at himself that his grasp of English had slipped so much, just when communication was essential. Naruto's explanation was peppered with wrong terms and his grammar... Even Gamakichi spoke better English than Naruto, and that said something.

"Thanks," said Sasuke and drank the potion. It was less horrid tasting than the Invigorating Draught, but not by much. He waited a few seconds for any effects to kick in, and to his relief the mental blockage faded away. Coupled with the Invigorating Draught he felt as sharp as a new kunai.

"You talk, I translate," said Sasuke as he got up and moved to stand next to Naruto. It was indeed warmer by his teammate's side. Naruto began his explanation anew, much to the relief of his audience. Dumbledore's face remained unchanged, but other listeners stopped frowning in confusion at Sasuke's translation.

Naruto told a short version of the tale of the Kyuubi and the attack on Konoha, and its subsequent sealing into Naruto's body. He briefly explained that he could access Kyuubi's chakra and that that formed the red aura whipping around him. He hurried to ascertain that usually he had it under control, but Voldemort's meddling had changed something in the seal, even though it wasn't visible. He continued talking about the ritual, gesturing wildly to indicate the relative positions of the triangle and the effects of the seal on the Kyuubi.

"But he made a mistake with the runes. Hand me that parchment, Sasuke."

While translating Sasuke threw him the quill and parchment and waited while Naruto wrote something. He hesitated for a few seconds before turning to Sasuke.

"This is important information, but it has to do with our last names. I have to reveal them."

Sasuke didn't have to think about that for long. Their secrets had been blown out of the water the second Naruto arrived back at the school with a raging Kyuubi aura, and with Sasuke revealing his Sharingan in close proximity his identity was a moot point. So he gave his consent.

"Right. So Voldemort spelled Sasuke's name wrong. He spelled it like 'Uchiwa', like this." Naruto pointed to one of the characters he had added to the parchment. His handwriting was a lot less neat than Sasuke's.

"But it's supposed to be 'Uchiha', like this."

Dumbledore's face lit up at that revelation. He turned his calculating gaze towards Sasuke instead of the parchment, and understanding seemed to dawn on his face. The debriefing was going to be fun, Sasuke could already tell. A long, long time of fun and questions.

"Uchiha Sasuke," Sasuke heard the old man mutter. Naruto continued, oblivious to the Eureka-moment.

"And he wrote my name in hiragana instead of katakana," said Naruto, and Sasuke added some explanation about the different types of alphabets in English.

"I don't know if that affects anything, but it sure as hell is messing with the seal. So. Any ideas?"

Naruto flicked the parchment back at Sasuke, who handed it to ms. Babbling. She immediately started studying it, but Dumbledore turned back to Naruto.

"Voldemort drew these runes in the air, correct?"

Naruto nodded, and Dumbledore took his wand from his robes.

"That'd mean that they're still here, and that they are the ones responsible for 'messing with your seal'."

The Headmaster waved his wand about and said: "Specialis Revelio."

Two runes flashed into the visible spectrum and closed in on the spell, wiping it out of existence before it reached any other runes. Dumbledore made an interested noise.

"As expected, he built in safeguards from such basic spells. Looks like we'll have to uncover these runes one by one. Can you keep that up, mr. Naruto?"

Naruto nodded slowly, his gaze turned inward. Sasuke had seen that before, when his teammate communicated with the demon. He had once seen the desolate room, the giant cage, the thick bars... It was an uninviting place.

"I need more ink and a brush of some sorts if I have to draw runes at a larger size," said ms. Babbling. Sasuke saw the gears in her head turning as she studied the paper. She grasped around in her pockets for a quill, so Sasuke handed the one he was holding to her. She muttered an absentminded "thanks" and started drawing on the tiny squares of room left on the parchment. She drew a rough equivalent of Naruto's seal, with lots of notes added on the sides in tiny handwriting.

"I have a brush," said Naruto. "In our room, in my chest, second compartment to the right."

Sasuke dutifully translated, and while he was talking Naruto added: "got it for Sai. Maybe I should draw a dick on it."

Sasuke chose not to translate that.

"Don't worry, Bathelda. What kind of brush do you need?" asked Dumbledore.

Bathelda said something in terms Sasuke hadn't learned, something technical about different kinds of brushes and ink. Dumbledore listened to her and drew a shape in the air. A beautiful soft brush appeared and spun in the air. The old wizard caught it when it once again obeyed gravity. The brush was followed by a small bowl, and with his wand Dumbledore conjured up thick black ink and directed it into the bowl.

"Will that do?" he asked as he handed Ms. Babbling the items, and she nodded as she cradled the brush and bowl, the parchment and quill clenched under one arm.

"So... what now we do?" asked Naruto in English, looking from Dumbledore and Ms. Babbling and back, confusion written all over his face.

"Now you take off your shirt and let me see that seal one more time," said Ms. Babbling. "And then we're going to find the individual runes which form the spell and unravel them one by one."

The woman's voice gained power now that she was back in her element, and her teacher's authority shone through. Sasuke cursed their youthful appearance for the umpteenth time this year. They were back to being treated like children by this woman. She hadn't even asked what Naruto knew about his own seal, she assumed that he didn't know anything about it.

Which was true, but that didn't meant that this woman had to assume that so easily.

"Ms. Babbling?" asked Hermione in a small voice, and the teacher acknowledged her.

"I did some research on the runes of Fox's... Naruto's seal. Sorry," she added towards Naruto. "At the lake, I saw your tattoo and you left me wondering what it all meant. So I looked up some of the runes. I still have the notes I took on them. Do you think they might be of use, Ms. Babbling?"

"Ms. Granger, you might be the hardest working student who has ever graced the hallways of Hogwarts. Please."

Hermione blushed to the roots of her hair and ran off.

"I knew I shouldn't have done that," muttered Naruto to himself. "Damn girl is too curious."

Sasuke didn't know whether to console him or tell him he was an idiot that day for taking his shirt off and exposing himself like that in the first place. Though something good might actually come out of it, true.

"Shirt, mr. Naruto," ordered ms. Babbling. Sasuke saw Naruto open his mouth to retort, probably with an insult for being ordered around like that, but the idiot seemed to have realized that it would probably be better not to piss off the one person in this whole castle who could help him live past this day. So he silently took off his ruined vest and shirt, depositing them in a heap on the floor.

Sasuke suppressed a snort when he saw the woman's eyes appreciatively take in Naruto's muscled physique. Naruto had noticed it too, and Sasuke stored this for later. Several cracks about older women checking him out sprang into his mind, but he could blackmail Naruto with those later. He _could_? He so _would_ use them to his advantage later.

"Lose the pants," said ms. Babbling.

"My pants?" Naruto's voice reached a pitch it hadn't reached in quite some time. Ms. Babbling gestured at the bottom of the seal, which was concealed behind the waistline of Naruto's pants.

"Hold on," said Naruto, and tugged his pants down over his slim hips, enough to reveal the bottom of the seal.

"Thank you," said ms. Babbling, and once again started scrawling on the parchment, the brush and ink forgotten on the floor.

Sasuke couldn't help himself. "Bad time to wear the gag-gift-boxers," he said in a low tone.

"Shut up or I'll burn your face," retorted Naruto in the same low tone, and with a lot more venom in his voice than usual. The Kyuubi-rage was plain for all to see. Naruto's control over the Kyuubi's chakra had gotten a lot better over the years, but this situation was starting to push it.

The door banged open and Hermione rushed back in, her face red and her hair frazzled. She clutched some parchment in her right hand and came to a stop next to ms. Babbling.

"Here are the notes," she said, and thrust the parchment in the woman's face. The teacher had to jerk her head back in order to read them, and quickly her eyes scanned over the handwriting.

"Containing... sealing... gate... My, you've researched this thoroughly, ms. Granger."

"I thought it was interesting to learn some runes from other cultures," she said.

"Did you happen to bring along some fresh parchment?" asked ms. Babbling, but Hermione shook her head.

"Hold on," she said, and tore a corner from the parchment which held her notes. She tapped it with her wand and said: "Engorgio." The parchment instantly grew, but it also thinned and became a lot more fragile. Immediately a rip appeared in the parchment. Hermione rolled it up and laid out a small part on the bedside table.

While they busied themselves with studying the notes, the door of the Hospital Ward opened and a short man with a funny hat walked in, looking around nervously. When his eyes landed on Naruto, he stopped mid-step and his eyes bulged.

"What in the world?"

* * *

**A/N: **I've had to search hard to find some kind of misspelling of Sasuke's last name, so I hope this is the right explanation.

And I have no idea how Sai fits in this AU, but he's there. Lurking, in the shadows, ready to leap forward and draw the shit out of your face.


	20. Runework

While they busied themselves with studying the notes, the door of the Hospital Ward opened and a short man with a funny hat walked in, looking around nervously. When his eyes landed on Naruto, he stopped mid-step and his eyes bulged.

"What in the world?"

Dumbledore immediately got up to greet the man. "Ah, Cornelius. Thank you for appearing on such short notice."

Dumbledore positioned himself between this Cornelius guy and Naruto, and the man snapped out of his staring. He took off his hat and replied: "Your owl was quite adamant I got here as fast as I could. Your message-"

"I suggest we discuss this in my office," interrupted Dumbledore gently. He turned to ms. Babbling for a brief second. "Please keep me posted," he requested, and ushered Cornelius-hat-guy out of the door. The man kept staring at Naruto for so long while walking out of the door Naruto felt sure the man pulled a muscle in his neck.

When the door fell shut behind them silence reigned in the Hospital Ward. Apart from the whispering demon voice in Naruto's head, the churning desire to kill everyone in the room and transform, use the power to tear apart all those Dark wizards who had hurt him.

"Found anything?" Sasuke asked ms. Babbling, but she shushed him and bent even lower over the parchment. Sasuke's voice tore Naruto from those demonic thoughts and he tried to focus on his breathing, steady in, steady out. Sadly he'd never been good at focusing exercises. His mental exercise only helped a little bit, and then it was back to wanting to prowl the premises and find a good animal to kill. Or human, it was all the same to him.

A jab from the blunt end of a kunai brought his attention back to Sasuke. "I could take a look," he said. "I've been inside you once already."

Naruto felt the predatory grin form around his lips, and he was glad there wasn't a mirror nearby. He'd scare himself shitless.

"Not like _that_," Sasuke amended with an eyeroll.

"Would you like to be?" Naruto asked hoarsely, and blinked at the words rolling from his tongue. Those weren't his thoughts, his words. The Kyuubi contaminated him, spread his desires across Naruto's brain. Only now Naruto wasn't so sure it was a 'he' anymore.

Thankfully Sasuke didn't take that much offense (maybe later, when Naruto couldn't gut him in one move) and snorted instead. "As if," he said. "Maybe the runes are visible inside your cage-visualization."

"Try it," ordered Naruto. He turned towards Sasuke and looked into the pair of red eyes, as red as his own, but with infinitely more strength. The outside world faded away and the gloomy darkness of his mental corridors took over. The maddeningly unsteady dripping sound was all he heard, until he opened his eyes.

He sat slouched in front of Kyuubi's cage, the red chakra keeping him in its grip. And something black joined the red chakra. Naruto felt his eyes widen as he recognized the black as a rune that had come alive. It wriggled slowly, like a snake trying to squeeze into a too small hole. A pointy end of the rune disappeared inside Naruto's lower abdomen, but it didn't hurt. It targeted the exact center of the seal, and as Naruto watched it slid half an inch more inside.

Naruto swallowed hard as he imagined the rune crawling around inside of him, a parasite attempting to free the one thing he was meant to imprison. He felt violated and wanted to feel nauseous, but the feeling wouldn't come.

He finally tore his gaze free from the rune attempting to get inside him and his eyes widened as he took in the state of the room. Other runes covered the walls, the floor, the cage, and the ceiling wasn't rune-free either. They too writhed and slithered like snakes, looking for a weakness in the simple paper seal covering the cage.

The room itself was distorted, as if a giant's hand had taken the room and _squeezed_. The walls spit on the laws of perspective and distorted the space around them like miniature black holes. The walls wavered like he was looking at them from above water and more runes trickled from of the hairline cracks.

At the entrance of the room stood Sasuke. His Sharingan eyes were widened as well, but the sight of a familiar face in such an unfamiliar environment calmed Naruto somewhat. Sasuke would help. He trusted his teammate that he'd do everything in his power to help Naruto.

Sasuke took a step forward, and that was a mistake. Immediately some runes stilled, others started hissing and then they all started to glow. Some red, some yellow, but all of them promised pain if they touched the shinobi. After a few seconds they shot towards him like bows from an arrow.

"Watch out!" yelled Naruto.

Thankfully Sasuke was skilled at genjutsu, and he threw a hand up, erecting a shimmering blue barrier. The first runes twanged off them and turned back to black, slithering away like snakes. More and more runes joined the barrage and Naruto stopped calling out obvious warnings and turned his will to the room to turn back to normal, force the runes from his system. He closed his eyes and focused his own, not-demon-tainted chakra inside to take care of the runes. A blue liquid dribbled down the walls and where it touched the walls turned back, but half of the attacking runes split off and converged on the liquid.

"Useless," growled Kyuubi.

The runes clustered around the blue liquid and soaked it up like sponges thrown in a bathtub. Naruto felt himself weaken as they drained his chakra and he let his own chakra go. Against the law of gravity the blue liquid traveled back up and disappeared in the ceiling.

Naruto turned his attention back to Sasuke and saw that he had withstood the first barrage. The struck runes drifted in the water on the floor and twitched, harmless for now.

"Naruto?" asked Sasuke, and Naruto recognized Sasuke's tone. He tried to get up, but both the red chakra and the parasitic rune kept him rooted firmly to the spot.

"I'm okay," replied Naruto. "I think," he added softly.

With his arms restrained he couldn't poke at the rune, and he wasn't sure that poking at it would benefit him. But the urge was strong. He shivered when he watched it slide inside half an inch more. Through the swirling chakra he saw that the rune slowly distorted the seal.

"So the Uchiha returns," boomed Kyuubi. From this close Naruto smelled the rank stench of hatred centuries old. He was close enough that Kyuubi could extend its claws and rip Naruto to shreds, like what had almost happened the first time he set foot in this cage.

"Let him go," ordered Sasuke. He took another step closer and a lonely rune tried to break through the barrier. Sasuke made short work of it.

Kyuubi chuckled. "You're not like Uchiha Madara, boy. You have no power over me, not with _those_ eyes."

"Shut up, stupid fox!" yelled Naruto. Every time Kyuubi spoke he felt its anger wash through him, making him want to go on a rampage in the castle. A morbid amusement not his own crackled through the chakra surrounding him, and he almost understood why Kyuubi was amused.

"Naruto, that rune," said Sasuke, "can you break free?"

Naruto strained his muscles, but he couldn't so much as twitch a finger. He shook his head and gasped as the parasitic rune touched something inside his mind, inside the seal, it touched and _twisted_. Kyuubi laughed. Sasuke started running.

He didn't get far before the runes all around them hurled towards him. He deflected the first few with his barrier, but the fifth one shattered it like cheap glass. Sasuke was fast enough to dodge the next two, but at the last moment a red-hot rune came in from below and caught him in mid-air.

Naruto could only look on in horror as his teammate was impaled by it before his very eyes. Sasuke's Sharingan eyes dulled back to black and with nary a sound he disappeared, his form dripping away like candle wax.

"Sasuke!" screamed Naruto.

* * *

Sasuke opened his eyes and drew a deep breath. He was alive, still alive, the whole scene had only happened inside Naruto's mind. But even as he thought that his hand drifted to his chest where the rune had struck. It had come in from behind and shattered his spine, heart and ribcage. If it were real, he'd have been dead before he even hit the ground.

The walls of the Hospital Ward wavered before his eyes before they once again settled down. Sasuke shook his head. A remnant of the genjutsu, that was all. Now he needed to snap his teammate from it before the Kyuubi got more of its power out and corrupted Naruto's mind.

Without regard for himself he took Naruto's shoulder and shook him roughly. He flinched as the searing demon chakra burnt him again, but the cream still slathered on protected him somewhat.

"What are you doing?" yelled Madam Pomfrey, and she tried to grab his arm to pull it from the harmful aura. But he kept her at bay with his other hand. He needed to see Naruto's eyes open, watch the blue, no, red irises look at him.

Too slow Naruto broke free and his eyes opened, still the blood red Sasuke was so used to seeing in his own eyes.

"Idiot," said Sasuke as he withdrew his hand. Immediately Madam Pomfrey pounced on it and dragged Sasuke back to the bed, her hand already reaching for the cream still standing on the nightstand.

"Bastard," replied Naruto. "But at least we know what's going on."

Sasuke opened his mouth to reply when ms. Babbling coughed. "We're ready to give it a try. Though: what just happened?"

"I looked inside him," said Sasuke. He pointed at his eyes, where the Sharingan still whirled. "I can do that with these eyes. The runes..."

Sasuke hissed when Madam Pomfrey accidentally touched a burn and he jerked his hand free from the woman. Without blinking she grabbed it again and continued muttering spells under her breath, aiming at the burns. The pain lessened somewhat.

"The runes are working on freeing the demon," Sasuke continued. "The seal still holds, but not for much longer. You need to counteract the main runes: freedom and-"

"Unleash, I know. I've got just the thing for that," said ms. Babbling as she waved the fragile parchment around. "Lie down so I can start drawing."

"No," growled Naruto. Sasuke looked at him in surprise. That didn't sound like Naruto's voice at all. It was backed by something far larger and more ancient than everyone in the room combined. And Kyuubi refused to roll over and show his belly, exactly what ms. Babbling asked Naruto to do.

Killing intent rushed free with his defiant words and Sasuke watched in fascination as the collected group of wizards took a step back. Maybe they finally saw what they were dealing with here, because all of a sudden ms. Babbling treated this less like an interesting theoretical exercise and more like a life-or-death situation.

She panicked.

"I- I- I- Get away from me!" she wailed and thrust the parchment in Hermione's hands. "I can't do this!"

Madam Pomfrey tried to stop her, but the Ancient Runes witch was faster than the plump medic. She escaped the Hospital Ward with much wailing and crying.

Hermione stood dumbstruck with the ripped parchment in her hands, but as she was one of the few the shinobi had trained to shake off killing intent, she recovered quickly.

"I really need you to lay down," she said. "Otherwise we- I can't draw the right circle and we need that to counteract the runes. This is going to be hard enough as it is without you barking like a mad dog."

The girl had backbone, admitted Sasuke. Not many people dared stand up to a jinchuuriki with its claws extended. Naruto smirked at her. "Watch me not do that, little-"

Sasuke exploded forth from the bed, grabbed Naruto by his throat and slammed him down onto the floor. He wanted, no, needed his teammate back from the edge of insanity. A second too late he realized that Kyuubi might take this as a challenge and he expected to feel claw-tipped fingers at his stomach, but Sasuke saw in Naruto's eyes that Naruto wrested control back before that happened.

"You are going to lay there and let her do what she wants," warned Sasuke. He heard Madam Pomfrey cry out in frustration as all the work she'd done went up in flames. Again.

"Why, Sasuke, that calls forth an ... interesting image," said Naruto, and to Sasuke's horror he licked his lips slowly, predatory.

Sasuke snorted and stepped away from his supine teammate. "Go ahead Hermione," he said. "He won't do anything." He caught Naruto's gaze and put as much promise of pain in them if Naruto broke that guarantee. That gave him an idea.

"He promises that, right, Naruto?"

Sasuke had to repeat himself in their language to entice an answer from Naruto. If Naruto promised something, he'd get it done. It was such a cornerstone of his personality that Sasuke felt it safe to trust on it. Even if Kyuubi destroyed his mind, the core of his psyche would guarantee that he fulfilled his promises.

Naruto knew this, and although it took a few seconds of internal struggle (or more likely: a mental struggle with Kyuubi), he nodded. "I promise," he said, and let his head fall back as if exhausted.

With that guarantee Hermione approached him with her brush and started drawing complicated runes around him. She took care not to touch the burning demon aura as she worked. The others looked on in silence as she completely focused on the task.

Soon the ground was covered in black ink. With a few whispered spells the runes came to live, much like the ones Sasuke had seen inside Naruto's mental cage. They glowed red and skittered across the floor, joining into others and forming an intricate web all around Naruto.

Sasuke recognized some of them, like 'unleash' and 'freedom'. He didn't know what runes they connected to, but his Sharingan informed him that it was identical to the runes he'd spotted Voldemort perform.

"These runes, shouldn't they be the opposite?" he asked and pointed at the runes he mentioned. Hermione glanced at him, and then on Sasuke as he translated. She shook her head.

"No, that's where I replicate the original runes, but here," she indicated the part of the circle she was working on, "I tell the magic to turn them around and draw the chakra back inside."

"You're not messing with the original seal?" asked Naruto. He propped himself up on one elbow and eyed all the ink around him. Sasuke translated for him.

"No, I'm only reversing You-Know-Who's spells. And since he messed with your original seal, this should change it back to normal."

Once again Sasuke translated. Naruto laid back and Sasuke saw him shiver. A pang of pain at the base of his neck reminded him of Orochimaru's seal and Kakashi's consequent seal. That one had hurt like hell, and that was a basic one compared to this. Sasuke didn't envy Naruto.

"Alright, now I need to connect you to the other runes," said Hermione. Her hand trembled as she approached Naruto and dipped the brush in ink, but the runes she drew on Naruto's body were solid. She flinched when her hand came too close to the burning aura, but she kept on going. Sasuke's respect for her went up another notch.

After ten minutes she sat back on her haunches and surveyed her draw- and wand work. She nodded to herself and got up, stepping from the circle with the utmost care.

"If anyone can fetch ms. Babbling, she can double-check the runes."

At her request ms. Weasley scurried past them and out the door, already calling ms. Babbling's name.

"I'd better go help her," said Ron, and he too left the room.

Sasuke glanced at the other occupants of the room. Harry Potter was fast asleep, as was Professor Moody. As he looked at them a sound at the door alerted him. The lanky figure of Dumbledore filled the doorway.

"Ah, it's good to see progress. Did you draw all these, miss Granger?"

Hermione nodded, and Dumbledore smiled at her. "Excellent work, if I may say so."

She blushed and smiled back at him. The ink from the brush she still held in her hands dripped on the floor and her robe.

"But do you mind if I make some more additions?"

Hermione promptly handed him the brush and spattered Dumbledore's bright blue robes with black ink. They both didn't even notice, although Sasuke thought he saw a glimmer of a smile linger in Dumbledore's eyes.

The old man crouched and with swift, sure strokes he added onto the circle, runes so complicated Sasuke couldn't interpret them. Directly from the tip of the brush the runes became magical and they glowed red, swirling around in the net of runes until they found their proper place. The floor around Naruto was now pure black, making him look like he was the center of a black hole.

Naruto gasped all of a sudden and arched his back. Immediately Sasuke crouched next to him, or as near to him as he could, with the rune circle around him.

"Fourth tail... coming..." whispered Naruto as he settled back down. In the raging red aura Sasuke saw slivers of skin being peeled off, and he turned a sharp look on Dumbledore.

"Do it, now."

Dumbledore gave the runes one last critical look and then drew his wand forth. But he hesitated.

"You've exchanged chakra before, right?" he asked in a calm tone, and Sasuke wanted to shake him senseless. Why did the old man want to go on a theoretical debate when the last chance to save his teammate slipped through their hands?

"Yes. Do it."

"No, it's best if you do it, since Naruto's system has gotten used to your-"

"How?" interrupted Sasuke. He got up and in one swift jump stood next to Dumbledore. He reached for his wand, but then realized he'd lost it somewhere in the fight.

"Run your chakra through this point," said Dumbledore, and pointed at the end of a rune. It pulsed a dull red. Sasuke spared a sliver of a thought running through the theory of runes as far as he knew to decide if it was dangerous to him, and then he slammed his hand on the bare stone, sending forth chakra across the web of runes.

Immediately it flared blue, the chakra running across it much like oil and flame.

The web kept his hand glued to the starting rune and Sasuke's sight wavered as the web drained him of his chakra, sucking him completely dry. As the sucking sensation reached his core chakra it stopped and withdrew. The moment the sensation left his body the world turned black and Sasuke collapsed.

* * *

Naruto gasped as the parasitic rune slip inside a bit more, but it was that bit too much. It touched the final thread which kept the fourth tail at bay. The surge of power made him arch his back, and Sasuke was beside him. Naruto squeezed the words past his tongue, not sure if the words came out intelligible at all.

"Fourth tail... coming..."

The surge tapered off, but the power remained, clawing at his skin, tearing parts free. Sasuke disappeared from his side, and he heard him and the old man talk about something.

Hurry up! urged Naruto mentally, adding some more curse words directed at the two for not immediately activating the runes. Luckily Sasuke knew what had to be done, and although the old man tried to distract him, Naruto saw Sasuke slam his chakra-lit hand onto the floor.

Immediately the web of runes was lit by blue fire, and Naruto felt Sasuke's chakra surround him on all sides. He wanted to scream Sasuke's name when he saw him collapse, but the fire kept him in its grip.

When the runes on the floor were lit they crawled onto and into his body. Sasuke's chakra signature faded and the spells woven into the runes took over. The blue fire died out but got replaced by the searing red glow of the active runes. They curled around themselves and formed new patterns. It was as if he lay on a waterbed, the ground wavering beneath his back so much his stomach roiled. After a few more swirls the runes were ready, and they formed the head of an arrow. Naruto could only lay there as it ripped into his seal and then his mind was transported to the mental cage.

In there the real-world application of the runes was a lot more flashy. Kyuubi cried out in rage and those tones were joined by angry hissing as Voldemort's and Hermione's runes waged war over the territory. The walls of the cage wavered like the floor had, momentarily shining blue, then red, and then they disappeared altogether, the blackness increasing until the abyss gazed back into you.

Naruto tore his gaze from that infinite blackness and didn't want to imagine what it represented. It felt like Kyuubi's rage, unending and ancient, and as dark as space.

He focused on the runes and cried out in joy as they seemed to be winning. Left and right Voldemort's runes dissolved into wisps of black steam, hissing their last. The red glow died down and Naruto felt the intense burning of the demon aura recede. He wasn't on the verge of gaining the fourth tail anymore, and the walls reappeared.

"Fool!" cried Kyuubi. "All that power! You could've won, made the pain go away, crushed your enemies..."

The fox's voice died away and when Naruto blinked he was back in the Hospital Ward. Immediately he sought out Sasuke's still form. Madam Pomfrey had picked him up and was busy laying him in bed. She must've felt Naruto's burning gaze on her back, because she briefly looked at him and, in a passing Guy-imitation, stuck up her thumb.

Relieved Naruto let his head fall down and brought it back up when he saw what was going on. The runes drawn on the floor had pooled together into a rough spiral, with the seal as the center. They mimicked the waving of Kyuubi's remaining tails, and as he watched he saw one of the spirals split off and form two tails at the same time he felt Kyuubi's power disappear.

Two runes appeared, glowing an angry orange hue in mid-air, but lightning-fast strikes from Hermione's runes wiped them out of existence.

A vision from his mental cage flickered before his eyes. Nearly all of Voldemort's runes had disappeared and the last few got wiped out as he watched. The room took on its normal dimensions (or what passed for 'normal' in that freaky place) and the walls became solid again, showing no more sign of cracks. Even the pipes mended themselves as he watched, but still he heard that dripping sound.

Hermione's runes came together and formed a roughly-drawn fox. It looked like one of Sai's jutsu, the same magical abilities and sketchy lines signified the living ink. The fox had nine tails, and they soaked up the remaining red demon chakra. The creature turned around and in two swift jumps disappeared between the bars of the cage, into the darkness of Kyuubi's realm.

"Fool," grumbled Kyuubi again, only its eyes visible in the faint ambient light. "You won't keep me here forever, boy."

"You lost this time, stupid fox, and you're not coming out. Not when I'm alive."

Kyuubi's grinning teeth flashed into existence and Naruto forced himself to look at it as a shiver raced down his spine.

"Oh, but there are other ways, boy."

The vision faded and then he watched in horror as the runes forced itself into him, drawing all nine tails with it. The temporarily black center of the seal widened to let them in and then finally it faded back to black, before disappearing altogether. The vision of the cage faded away, and Naruto hoped it would be a long time before he had to look at it again.

Naruto rolled over and worked himself to hands and knees as his gag reflex kicked in. A strange, horrid taste made its way up and he tried to force it back down, but it pushed through. He vomited black ink onto the floor. It kept on coming in gushes of liquid. His eyes watered as his body worked hard to rid itself of the poison. He squeezed his eyes shut to not have to look at the mess and heaved and heaved and finally, when he felt like he'd throw up his intestines, the taste disappeared. He spat out some traces of black ink before he mercifully collapsed as well, the last of his energy spent.

Naruto saw the hem of Dumbledore's robe in his line of sight before that faded to black, along with the rest of the world.

* * *

**A/N: **And that marks the end of this whole ordeal! Sasuke may need some filing down of his teeth and nails, although Madam Pomfrey has experience with that.


	21. Wrapping paper

A rustle in the darkness. The gravestones were quiet, the marble only reflecting the lights of their wands. Someone used a bigger illuminating spell to see what was going on. And it was horrific.

Bodies lay strewn about like discarded dolls at kindergarten. The Dark medic whispered spells as she used her arts to mend broken bones, close jugulars and pump blood back into people. Nott was one of the lucky few who didn't get hit by one of the... shinobi, the Master had called the two boys.

Nott wiped the sweat from his brow and discreetly checked if someone had seen his breach of etiquette. Nobody was supposed to take off their mask if they were at a gathering, but at the moment they didn't care about etiquette. Not when the Dark Lord was missing.

"Injured?" asked a low voice at his left shoulder, and Nott turned sharply, wand poised at the ready. He relaxed when he recognized the face.

"No-" said Nott, and the other Death Eater interrupted him.

"Good. Start looking."

He didn't have to say who to look for. Although there was a subtle hierarchy, Nott and the other man were about equal. Nott muttered angrily, but still he turned around and lit up the point of his wand. He held it high and walked around, checking behind gravestones, looking for the Dark Lord. All around him the others did the same, or actually: those who weren't dead, injured, or gone. Nott had seen Death Eaters run off when the demon shinobi had broken free. He knew the Dark Lord would take care of them. If he was still alive.

Nott berated himself for that thought and kept on searching, straining his ears for any shouts of 'Found him!' from the others. But the graveyard remained eerily quiet.

A gasp to his left had him running, but he stopped dead when he saw why the other Death Eater had gasped.

"Master!" he cried. But Lord Voldemort didn't answer. His body hung broken upon a marble headstone. In the light of the wands they saw his blood darken the front of his robe, or what was left of the cloth. Something had tore through Voldemort's body with such force bits of flesh hung upon the headstone. Nott saw Voldemort's unbeating heart in between shards of shattered ribs.

They circled around the broken body, looking at each other in disbelief.

"He's... he's... that blonde guy..."

One Death Eater kept stumbling over the words, not believing what was in front of him. Lord Voldemort was more powerful than anyone, ever, in the history of wizardkind. How could that blonde guy have killed Lord Voldemort so thoroughly? The Dark Lord knew more Dark magic than any other wizard. And the blonde guy had been a kid, not even old enough to drink.

Something hissing slithered next to Nott's foot and instinctively he leapt away from it, thinking it might be Nagini, trained to avenge her master. But the hissing came from a tiny garden snake, which curled around Nott's feet.

"Resiiiise meeesss," hissed the snake, and Nott blinked at it in confusion. Was this another trick of the mind? Was that red-eyed guy still around to mess with their heads?

"Resise meee, Nottsss," hissed the snake again. Something growing out of the back of the head's snake caught his attention, and for the third time in less than five minutes he gasped as he dropped to his knees.

"Master!"

For in the back of the snake's head was the unmistakable face of the Dark Lord. He had survived, somehow, like all those years ago. His Dark magic wouldn't allow him to be killed. Nott gently picked the snake up and showed his fellow Death Eaters.

"Our master lives! Prepare the cauldron, find a sacrifice, because the Dark Lord will rise again! ... Err, again again."

All around him the Death Eaters scurried off to prepare for Voldemort's revival. They re-lit the fire underneath the cauldron, and Nott walked towards it, slowly, careful not to aggravate the snake.

"Youss wills be rewardeds, Notts," hissed Voldemort, and he beamed with pride. He managed to serve his master well, and soon the new Lord would walk among them.

"Put me in thess cauldron, Notts," said Voldemort. With reverance Nott walked up to the giant cauldron and lowered the snake into it.

The Dark Lord rose once more.

* * *

"You didn't kill him," said Snape.

"What?" cried Naruto enraged. "If you get hit by my Rasengan, you're dead, simple as that. I saw him bleed to death. I had to shower twice to get all of it out of my hair."

At those words the people in Dumbledore's office went silent. Naruto kicked himself mentally. These people weren't shinobi, they weren't used to talking about the life-giving liquid in such callous terms. These people killed with green light, not with knifes and bare hands.

"And what _is_ this 'Rasengan' you keep talking about?" asked McGonagall.

Naruto gaped at her in shock and sputtered: "It's my special jutsu." Sasuke scoffed.

"Hardly 'special', you use it at every opportunity. Kill a man? Rasengan. Need a blender? Rasengan."

"Oi!" cried Naruto, "like you're so special with your 'look at me, I can electrocute-"

"Just show them, would you?" interrupted Sasuke. Naruto scowled at Sasuke before he made a seal and a clone popped from thin air next to Naruto. Naruto held out his hand and together with the clone he formed a blue ball of tamed wind. When Naruto felt it was finished he let the clone poof out of existence. He turned to Dumbledore and pointed at the chair with a wild flower pattern.

"Okay if I destroy this?"

Dumbledore nodded, and with a cry of "Rasengan!" Naruto thrust his hand forward. When it connected with the chair splinters of wood and bits of padding showered the onlookers. Naruto drilled all the way through the chair and when he released the jutsu the chair collapsed on the spot. The wood had gained an interesting swirly texture, and the destruction site was a mess.

"_That_ is the Rasengan. And think that chair was a human."

Naruto saw the winces on the wizard's and witch faces. He turned back to Snape, whose face was stoic. Or maybe he was incapable of showing any emotion.

"So how did they resurrect Voldemort?" asked Naruto.

"The Death Eaters revived him, using the same potion as before," said Snape. "You _did_ kill him with that... attack, but once you were gone, the Death Eaters revived the Dark Lord's body. He used one of his own Death Eaters to reabsorb the zero-tailed demon, so now he's as strong as ever."

Naruto blew out a sigh. "Well... crap."

* * *

On the last day on the job the shinobi and the Boy Who Lived finally met face to face. It was pure coincidence, although Hermione had tried to catch their attention, to get them to talk. Men and communication, that was something even magic couldn't fix.

Fox and Crow, no, Naruto and Sasuke, had stopped wearing the masks. They were asleep when Hermione had left the Hospital Ward, and the next two days there weren't any unexplained extra students roaming the hallways, nor did any dots show up on the map. When they finally showed their faces, Sasuke resembled a ghost more than a human being, with barely any color in his face. Even Naruto lacked that shiny glow she'd always associated with him. He looked as brow-beaten as Harry, although he hid it behind extra wide grins instead of moping about, as Harry was wont to do.

She didn't know which method was better.

The two guards completed their tasks like usual, but there were no more spontaneous spars which broke out in the middle of the hallway, and even their bickering went from ear-piercing loud and fierce to a half-hearted 'idiot'.

Hermione knew something needed to be done. So she flagged down Naruto, or at least, she tried to. He either didn't see her or chose to ignore her, something which only made Hermione more determined.

But even without her meddling the world kept on turning, and on the morning of the day of the Leaving Feast she saw that Harry ran into Sasuke and Naruto in the Entrance Courtyard.

Harry stopped short when he saw the two guards walk up the stairs as he descended them.

He had dreaded this conversation, because how exactly do you approach and thank someone who's rescued your life and almost died? Or had a demon burst out of them? Though the last part wasn't Harry's fault per se, but he was the one who fell for Voldemort's trap and had too few skills to break free of his twisted ropes.

"Err," he began, which wasn't the best start of a 'thank you for saving my life, sorry about the whole mess'-speech. Harry tried again, though this time he was the epicenter of attention, quaking in every direction.

"Thanks for saving me. And I'm sorry all that happened to you."

Naruto smiled at Harry while Sasuke's face remained impassive. Harry gripped the banister so hard he swore dents appear in the metal. He wanted to flee before Naruto brought up something painful, something which would break through his grief and shock and shake him to the core of his being. He didn't know if he would survive that, the Boy-Who-Lived brought down by words. Although spells were words too, and-

Naruto's voice drove through his tangent of thoughts.

"No problem," said Naruto, grinned a huge grin at him and continued on walking. Sasuke looked at Harry, said "hn" and followed Naruto up the stairs.

Harry watched them leave, dumbstruck. He jerked from his stare when Hermione appeared by his elbow.

"You alright?" she asked, a carefully guarded expression on her face.

"That's it? 'No problem'?"

"What did you want to hear?"

Harry choked as his thought process was rammed off the track by Hermione's logic train. He realized that actually, that was all he wanted to hear. He thought they'd want to talk about the whole event in detail, telling him where he went wrong, what he could have done to detect the trap and how to kill Voldemort. But they were the guards, they were hired to do this, to protect the students.

"Do you think this is normal for them?" asked Harry as he watched the guards high up the marble staircase, ascending all the way to the seventh floor. Hermione nodded, and for the first time this year Harry caught a glimpse of what sort of life those guys must live in order to treat this like any other ordeal they'd gone through.

And he knew why they hid their youth behind white masks. They were adults in a teenager's body, shouldering the same burden that was cast upon Harry. Dumbledore had put it well, that Harry had carried the weight of an adult, but those two carried the weight of the world in comparison.

Frankly, it scared him.

"I'll bet they sent Ero-sennin. The old hag already knows about the whole seal-runes thing, so first thing she does is make sure I didn't turn into the fox."

Sasuke kept on ignoring his blathering teammate as he eyed the door.

Even on the last day on the job they had to patrol, although Dumbledore had pretty much ordered them to join the Leaving Feast. Tsunade had written that a representative from Konoha would also join, to debrief the shinobi and strengthen the relationship with the employer. With war on the horizon in the wizarding world, those bonds could prove to be beneficial on both sides.

Naruto had been speculating who she'd send for two days now and it was grating on Sasuke's nerves. Any second now the elusive representative would come through those doors.

A large group of students had also gotten wind that a friend of the guards would show up today, so the entrance hall was busier than usual. The students craned their necks to see the mysterious shinobi. Sasuke and Naruto stood by the door when they heard a commotion on the marble staircase. All attention was drawn to a Hufflepuff student screaming his head off as he sprinted down the stairs.

"They're after me!" he yelled, and Sasuke brought the Sharingan up, ready to defend the castle if any of Voldemort's lackeys decided to show itself at Hogwarts. But what he saw didn't alert him.

Instead he turned around and sure enough, there stood a man in the doorway.

"Hello my cute students," came a familiar voice from the entrance. Sasuke felt his eyelid twitch. The words had been in English, and he knew only one man who'd go through the trouble to look those words up in order to embarrass them. Or some form of training which made sense in the man's twisted mind.

"Sensei!" called Naruto out. The students still lingering about gaped at the man standing in the doorway as if he owned the place. That is, bonelessly and with his hands in his pockets. He leaned on one crutch, limping a little as he took a step forward. Sasuke was glad his sensei wasn't holding his trademark orange Icha Icha book [1], or he'd have McGonagall on his ass sooner rather than later.

Sasuke nodded at the man after he'd digested the man's arrival.

"_You're_ the representative from Kon- home?" Naruto said in disbelief and Kakashi's eye-smile grew even more, if that was possible.

"Sure am."

"You're not late," Naruto said in astonishment.

"I was supposed to be here yesterday."

Sasuke hung his head and turned around to the students. "Since you're all still here: this is-" He glanced back at Kakashi, who gave a tiny nod. Apparently he didn't want or need a codename. "This is Hatake Kakashi, or in your language: Kakashi Hatake."

"Yo," said Kakashi and gave a two-fingered salute while he laughed his eye-laugh.

"Hello," murmured the student body, although most of them preferred staring over talking.

"So he's like, your teacher?" asked a Slytherin girl.

"Yes," said Sasuke, before Naruto could say 'unfortunately'. "We'll take you to meet the employer," he said to Kakashi. He understood why Tsunade would send Kakashi. By the looks of his crutch and the way he favored his right side he'd been injured. And what better way to recuperate than fly across half the world and pick up two thirds of his team?

The Leaving Feast was one Ron would remember all his life. Gone were the usual bright colors of the Great Hall. Instead he had a mopy Harry, a grieving Hermione and the two guards sitting next to him. Well, the guards and their weird teacher sat four seats over, but it was near enough to study them for the last time. He studied Kakashi especially hard. The mask alone was suspicious, leaving one eye free. The man wore the standard Konoha shinobi uniform, like the book had taught him. But his floppy grey hair and crutches called to mind an old man. The single eye didn't show any wrinkles, so... What and who _was_ this man?

And how did he eat with his mask? He didn't even remove it, but every time Ron blinked, more food disappeared. Sasuke and Naruto didn't bother with masks anymore, now that the whole school knew their name and surname, down to the fact that Naruto contained a demon and Sasuke could do magic with his eyes.

The already quiet students were silenced completely when Dumbledore got up. He told them the truth about what had happened in the graveyard. Dumbledore turned towards the guards.

"And let us not forget to thank Naruto and Sasuke, who went beyond and above the call of duty to protect Hogwarts and rescue Harry Potter. I hope we can remain good friends and re-forge the bonds between Hogwarts and their hidden village. We are going to need those."

Unanimously the crowd drank to the murmur of "Naruto and Sasuke". Naruto grinned at the praise while Sasuke's face remained impassive, as always. It looked like little fazed Sasuke, thought Ron.

"...Remember Cedric Diggory," Dumbledore concluded. Ron felt something hard in his throat and he swallowed as he raised his glass again and drank. He drank and drank until it was empty before he dared to sit down.

"I... just... thank you for all you've taught us," said Dean. He pumped Naruto's hand up and down and grinned widely at them. Behind Naruto Dean already saw the carriages appear. It looked like the guards and the Kakashi-fellow would also travel by Hogwarts express, but this might be the last time he got to talk to them. And he still had so much to say. And he was not alone. The driven students of the Duelling class stood behind him, all ready to shake Naruto and Sasuke's hands and thank them. Usually the students didn't do that, but they knew they might not see them again next year.

"I'll be sure to keep practicing this summer, and who knows, if you come around again next year you can teach me some more."

Naruto gently slid his hand out of Dean's grip and Dean saw Naruto's grin slip away.

"I'm afraid we won't be returning, at least not next year. We've gotten a message from home that our enemies have been found. And they're after me this time. I'll need to train hard to beat them."

"Your enemies?" asked Dean, to which Naruto nodded.

"A group called the 'Akatsuki'. They're after jinchuuriki. Demon hosts."

"That's... that's terrible," gasped Eliza. The students whispered amongst themselves at that revelation. Naruto shrugged.

"I'll deal with them when they come. So I can't come here next year."

"And you, Sasuke? Will you come back?" asked Dean, but Sasuke also shook his head.

"I'll have to watch this idiot's back," he said curtly. But there was no venom in his voice. Naruto didn't even seem bothered BY the epithet anymore.

"We also want to thank you," said Naruto. "For teaching us how to teach. We've never done that before, and I think it will become useful for us. When we make it to jounin, a rank higher, we're supposed to teach young students. And we thank you for showing up on the first lesson, and taking it seriously."

"You gonna get in?" asked an impatient voice behind the group. "Otherwise we'll take this carriage."

Dean hadn't even paid attention to the stream of students whirling around them as they made their way to the carriages. There were barely enough to fit the Duelling class students in left.

"Almost done," said Dean. He turned back to the shinobi. "I guess I can only say: have a good life, and I hope to meet you again someday."

"Same here, Dean. Maybe you can come visit us."

"I don't even know what village you're from," replied Dean. Naruto looked around and bent forward as he whispered: "Konoha. We're from Konoha. Our real names are Uzumaki Naruto and Uchiha Sasuke. Got that?"

Dean absorbed the strange syllables and nodded slowly as he burned them in his memory. He needed a quill and some parchment, right now.

"Yeah, I think so. Otherwise I can ask for the guy with the demon, right?" He winked at Naruto and the shinobi smiled back.

"Alright then, we'll be off. See ya!"

"Goodbye!" said Dean, and the other students joined him with cries of 'goodbye'. Dean was going to miss them, he knew it already.

Kakashi looked at his two students as they rode back in the carriage pulled by demon horses.

"Thestrals," Sasuke had explained, but the word itself wasn't enough to enlighten Kakashi. He shrugged it off as one of the weird effects of the magical world. He'd had completed some missions for wizards, and he still remembered their foreign way of getting things done. There was a lot more stick-waving and weird phrases than in the shinobi world, but the folk were decent enough. And they paid handsomely.

"So," began Kakashi. He looked from Naruto to Sasuke and back. They had grown, both physically and mentally. Tsunade was right to send them out on a year-long mission. The Akatsuki had been thrown off Naruto's scent, and only now did they have hints where he might be. But at Hogwarts Naruto didn't have the backup necessary to fight off a pair of Akatsuki members. By now he may be strong enough to fight them off on his own, but Kakashi wouldn't bet on it. Not yet, anyway.

"So what?" asked Naruto when Kakashi didn't say anything. Ah, still as impatient as ever.

"So... anything special happened?"

Sasuke snorted in surprise and Naruto pulled a face.

"They didn't tell you?" asked Naruto disbelievingly. Kakashi waved a hand at his student.

"Ah, yes, something about the Kyuubi. But the seal is still intact, and there's not much I can do about it now. Although Jiraiya wants a word with you when you get back."

"Good, 'cause I also want a word with him." Naruto cracked his knuckles and Kakashi made a mental note to get out of the way when those two started their screaming match.

"Anything else?" prodded Kakashi, focusing his single eye on Sasuke. Sasuke looked Kakashi in the eye and shrugged.

"Learnt some spells," he said. "We need to visit the wizard's shopping street again."

Kakashi knew that wasn't all, but for now he let the two have their peace. He'd wring it out of them back at home, when they were safely in Tsunade's office. He made a mental note to block the door until the two had told everything that happened, because the wizarding world was still an unfamiliar factor in the politics of planet Earth.

He also made a mental note to check for magical boobytraps more often, knowing Naruto.

* * *

[1] Kiss Kiss Paradise

**A/N: **The penultimate chapter, in which I've attempted to wrap up all the loose ends. If I've left something dangling: please tell me.

A random note:

**-**Kakashi is one of those words which loses its meaning if you type it often enough. Now I can't stop giggling whenever I have to type that inane combination of ' ka' and ' shi'.


	22. Epilogue

Sakura moved her load from her right hand to her left before she knocked on the door of Naruto's apartment.

"Coming!" she heard Naruto yell from the other side of the door, and she moved her load from her left to her right again. When Naruto opened the door, she stepped inside. Or at least, she wanted to, but she stopped short when she saw the brown owl perched on Naruto's head.

"Hey, Sakura-chan," grinned Naruto, "thanks for coming."

"Err," said Sakura, which wasn't really a word, so she tried again. "There's an owl on your head, Naruto."

Naruto smiled at her and patted the brown owl affectionately. "Yeah, this guy's Browl-32. Almost ready to go back, right, Browl?"

The owl hooted sharply and Naruto winced as Sakura saw its talons sink into Naruto's scalp. "Right, not yet, sorry, sorry." Naruto shook his head to dislodge the owl and with an annoyed hoot it flew from Naruto's head to the hilt of a kunai stuck in the wall. There it continued watching Naruto and Sakura with huge eyes.

"Since when do you have an owl?" asked Sakura as she finally stepped inside and closed the door behind her.

"It's not mine, actually," answered Naruto. Sakura's eyes widened as she spotted two more owls sitting on kunai embedded in the walls. One was a large silvery-white owl, looking like it belonged hunting mice in the forests of Snow Country instead of sleeping inside Naruto's small apartment. The other was brown too, but had a more yellow sheen over its feathers. It, too, slept. Its wing was hidden underneath a wad of bandages and Sakura spotted a splint with her keen medical eyes.

"You turned your apartment into an animal shelter?"

"Nah, the animal shelter kept turning me down. So I've had to take care of these guys on my own."

Sakura whirled and took a deep breath before she said forcefully: "But what are they _doing_ here?"

"Sleeping," answered Naruto, but when Sakura clenched her fist he finally explained.

"You know that year-long mission me and Sasuke went on?"

At Sakura's sarcastic nod he continued. Of course she knew, who wouldn't notice when Konoha's citizens weren't tormented by Konohamaru and Naruto prancing around in that ridiculous jutsu of theirs for a whole year?

"They've got a law forbidding kids under seventeen to perform magic. But I use my wand to heat water for my ramen. So every time I do that, they send a letter by owl."

"But that country is on the other side of the world!" said Sakura disbelievingly. Naruto nodded.

"Exactly. They fly all the way here, and when they get here they're exhausted. I nurse them back to health until they can make the journey back."

"So when you say 'Browl-32'..." began Sakura, and Naruto finished the sentence for her.

"Thirty-one owls preceded it, yes."

He pointed at the white owl.

"And that's whowl-7, and I'm up to growl-14 for the grey ones."

"But what do the letters say?" asked Sakura. Naruto shrugged.

"Oh, that I'm expelled from Hogwarts, that I've got a hearing, another hearing, that I've missed the hearing, your regular cease-and-desist letters."

"And all those get delivered by owls? You sure you're not a criminal by now for not adhering to their laws?"

Naruto put his hands behind his head.

"Nah, I'm sure they'd understand. And besides, they can't make me follow their laws in this country, right?"

Sometimes Sakura guessed that Naruto knew more than he let on, and other times he was as clueless as a blind gecko.

"And you've already written to them and asked them to stop?"

Naruto untangled one arm and held his hand up towards Sakura. "Five times, but they keep saying I've got a visa for England, so even while in another country I should follow the laws while my visa and valid and I'm still sixteen."

"That's ridiculous," concluded Sakura. "They can't _do_ that!"

"Tell me about it. But these guys suffer for it, so that's why I asked for those soldier pills."

Sakura looked at the basket still clutched in her right hand before she handed it over to Naruto.

"Right, of course, here you go. I haven't made them with owls in mind, but I'm sure they'll like them."

Sakura didn't miss the way Naruto blinked, like he did when he was about to lie (or omit the full truth), nor did she miss the quick flick of his eyes as he looked at the other owls.

"I'm sure. Thanks, Sakura-chan! I guess I'll see you at training tomorrow-"

"Can I feed one?"

Naruto made a questioning noise and Sakura pointed at the injured brown owl, who had woken up thanks to their conversation.

"Can I feed an owl?"

Naruto followed her pointing finger and understanding dawned.

"I suppose... But look out for this guy, he nearly took my finger off when I bandaged his wing."

"You did that? Didn't you take it to an animal shelter?"

"Like I said: they turned me down. Kiba helped me though, so it should heal fine."

"Mind if I take a look?"

"No, I'll get Browl-31 down for you. Here, browlie, browlie, browlie, I've got a nice little mouse for you..."

Naruto produced a mouse from one of the containers standing on the table, and Sakura immediately lost her appetite. Who knew what else lay in that container... and what about if Naruto went on longer missions? Did he keep the containers out in the open? The thought alone was enough to make her throw up in her mouth a little, so she turned away from the questionable containers and shrieked when the white owl missed her by an inch in his fly-by.

With kunoichi reflexes she ducked and grabbed a kunai at the same time. She stopped herself just in time before she made sate out of the poor bird, but that didn't stop Naruto from laughing at her.

"Yeah, that's how I found out they like to perch on kunai hilts, for some reason. Couldn't stop myself in time."

Sakura shot him a look, and Naruto waved it away.

"Don't worry, I missed."

Ah, of course, that was very... Naruto-like of him. Sasuke would hit the poor thing... but then again, Sakura had a hard time picturing Sasuke taking care of owls who accidentally got sent to his house.

Sakura reached into the basket and grabbed a soldier pill. The white owl gobbled up the mouse and then turned and stared at her with huge yellow eyes.

"Here, whowl-7," said Sakura, "I've got a nice treat for you."

The owl screeched and flew towards her, landing on her outstretched fist. Its talons dug into her skin, but she bore the sting. She held her hand in front of it, palm open, the soldier pill presented neatly like a lovely snack. The white owl spent no time scrutinizing the food. It dug in like Naruto at Ichiraku, but within seconds it uttered a second screech. It threw the consumed crumbs back onto Sakura's hand and kicked the offending soldier pill away.

"What?" said Sakura in bewilderment as the white owl pushed off and flew back to the kunai hilt, where it puffed up its feathers and clicked a few times.

Naruto's laughter was the only response she got.

"It - it -," he tried to say, but then he got lost in the corridors of a hilarity attack.

"It hates my soldier pills," said Sakura slowly. She dumped the ruined soldier pill in Naruto's trashbin and clenched her fist. If Naruto made even one remark, one wrong move...

"See? Everybody hates them!" cried Naruto, still shaking with laughter. One remark too many, decided Sakura. She was upon him like a raccoon upon a trash bag, and with one swipe of her fist he flew out the open window, like she had intended. A resounding crash satisfied Inner Sakura's need for vengeance. The owls screeched at her and puffed up even more, making them look more threatening, but she paid them no heed.

"My soldier pills are marvels of healing herbs!" she yelled out the window. A loud groan answered her.

"May be, but they taste-"

"Are you sure you want to finish that sentence?" threatened Sakura, and she saw Naruto physically swallow back his words. He got up from the roof of the building he had landed on and jumped back to the window, landing crouched on the windowsill.

"Sorry, Sakura-chan. I'll just mix the soldier pills with their usual food, so that the amazing healing herbs can work."

"You better," said Sakura, but despite her sharp tone she helped him inside. "Now, eat one up and you'll feel better immediately."

Naruto's eyes widened as he eyed the pile of soldier pills. Slowly, like a wary animal he turned back to Sakura.

"You didn't hurt me that bad," he tried, but Sakura walked over to the table and chucked a soldier pill at Naruto.

"C'mon, eat it," she said sweetly, but her clenched fist promised more impromptu roofdiving if he refused. With tears in his eyes he bit into one, and the tears streamt down his face at the incredible taste. Incredibly gross, that is. Sakura was aware of the horrible taste, but healing herbs tasted horrible, there was no way around it. Bitter medicine worked, that's why it tasted bitter.

"Mm, Sakura, these taste ... good," tried Naruto, but still the tears streamed down his face.

The white owl clucked in what Sakura sure was amusement, and the scene made her grin.

It felt good to have Naruto back home.

* * *

Itachi's eyes widened an infinite small amount when Sasuke whipped out his wand to put out Itachi's fireball with a powerful Aguamenti-spell, but it was enough to make Sasuke smirk. He pointed his wand at his brother.

"So you've been there too," remarked Itachi in his bland tone. "Did you happen to pick up... this?"

To Sasuke's astonishment his brother took out another wand and pointed it right back at Sasuke.

"Imperio," said Itachi, but Sasuke merely smirked at the weak Imperius-curse and he shook it off as easily as water off an otter's back. Something glinting moved towards him and he threw himself aside a second too late. He expected pain, but there was none. He looked down at his wand and saw a senbon needle stick out of it. With one smooth move he pulled it out, whirled around and pointed his wand at Itachi.

"Expelliarmus!" he cried, but the magical core of his wand had been damaged enough that the spell spun out of control and blasted Sasuke backwards. He smacked against the wall and managed to land on his feet, but he put the wand away. It was useless now.

"This is not a shinobi's tool," said Itachi as he threw his own wand away. "It's useless."

"Then come at me, Itachi."

Sasuke raced through the appropriate seals. He'd just have to kill his brother without magic.

* * *

The bell tingled a magical jaunty tune as Sasuke opened the door.

"Hello, welcome," said the store owner. "Ah, one of the famous shinobi I've heard so much about. Twelve inches, Konoha wood, a core of dragon heartstring and reinforced with cockatrice feathers. What can I do for you?"

Sasuke was taken aback that the old man remembered what kind of wand he had, but he made sure not to show his surprise on his face. It was hard enough to walk around Diagon Alley with witches and wizards whispering behind his back. He had taken to the rooftops to get to his destination: Ollivanders wand shop.

"I need a new wand," said Sasuke bluntly.

"Certainly. May I ask, why did you not come earlier? Assuming that you lost your wand during your battle with the He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named."

"It wasn't during that battle," said Sasuke sharply. His wounds still ached from the battle with Itachi. And in the end he had still lost, somehow. If Itachi had indeed been after his eyes... He shook his head to chase the memories (temporarily) away and focused on the old man in front of him. The man had keen eyes, and Sasuke wasn't sure he had managed to keep his face blank. He missed his mask.

"Do you have an identical wand in stock or do I need to test out wands again?"

When Sasuke spoke Ollivander was spurred into motion. With certain strides he moved to the back and came out with a box, containing one of the wands specially made for shinobi.

"This one is identical to the one you had. The heartstring is from a different dragon, but the wood is still from Konoha."

When Sasuke picked it up it felt wrong in his hand. It was as if the wand yearned for him, his chakra signature, but it no longer fitted. Like signing a mortgage paper with a crayon. It did the job, but it felt and looked wrong. Ollivander had noticed it as well, and with his deft hands he swiped the wand from Sasuke's hand.

"Looks like you'll be needing a new test for a new wand," said the man carefully. He disappeared into the back for a minute and returned with a stack of boxes. Sasuke recognized some from his last visit, and the process remained the same. He touched a wand, and immediately Ollivander would take it from him. There were a few close calls where Sasuke thought he felt a connection, but even then the master of wandmaking interfered and took the wand from him.

It took three times as long as his previous visit to find the right wand for him, but finally he laid hands on one which felt right. Ollivander looked from the wand to Sasuke and back.

"This battle you were in... it was no ordinary battle," said the man. Sasuke narrowed his eyes at Ollivander but nodded after a few seconds, but he kept his mouth closed.

"Twelve inches, heart of unicorn hair... but reinforced with Knarrl spines and made from wood from the Demon Country," murmured the old man. His scrutinous eyes roved over Sasuke, and for a moment Sasuke felt a minor wave of killing intent emanate from the man for some reason. It was over so fast he could have imagined it, but Sasuke knew himself. He had little imagination.

"That'll be twenty Galleons," said Ollivander. Sasuke handed over the correct amount and put the wand into the pouch on his thigh. It was nice to have that bit of extra weight there. He hadn't felt powerless without his wand, far from it, but it was nice to know he now had another back-up option if things went south.

"Take care, shinobi," said Ollivander. It looked like he wanted to say more, but after a few seconds he decidedly clamped his mouth shut and turned away from Sasuke to put the money into his till.

"You too," replied Sasuke. In three steps and four seconds he was out the door, pulling it shut behind him. The sun shining down on Diagion Alley made the whole street seem more alive, with many witches and wizards walking to and fro, carrying bags and windowshopping. But to Sasuke it was a street of dangers and strangers, a world he lived in for a year, but it wasn't his home.

From his vantage point Sasuke saw a familiar blond head scurry around near Tover Tweeling Topfopshop, along with a pink head. A shock of grey hair bobbed lazily behind them. Sasuke sighed when he saw the blond head disappear under the fury of pink's fist, but he knew that was where he belonged. That was home.

When the entire team was done shopping they turned their backs on the wizarding world and left.

* * *

**A/N: **And that marks the end of this fic. It's been an absolute blast to write, and I've read the fourth book so many times I can now pretty much recite it by heart.

I hope you enjoyed this fic, and look forward to more stories in the future, although not necessarily in this fandom. At the moment I don't have a sequel planned. I'm a bit burnt out on HP/Naruto crossovers, so I'm afraid that this is it. Maybe if I get inspired I'll write some short stories about other years, but it won't be an 100k+ words fic.

I'd like to take a moment to thank all the people who've reviewed. You guys rock like ... Guitar Hero 3. Thank you for pointing out mistakes, discussing theories about canon with me, telling me to keep it up and questioning my logic. I probably won't have to tell you that every time I looked in my inbox and saw someone had reviewed I felt all fuzzy and warm inside. Keep on rocking.

~ Kakawot

1-5-2010 / 22-6-2011


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